N
noyd666
now all the rain water flow's out to sea, gives us something to winge about.
-
As of today ICMag has his own Discord server. In this Discord server you can chat, talk with eachother, listen to music, share stories and pictures...and much more. Join now and let's grow together! Join ICMag Discord here! More details in this thread here: here.
TOTALLY RANDOM POST II
- Thread starter minds_I
- Start date
OranguTrump
Crotchety Old Crotch
Hey folks - long time, no see, etc.
Oct. 17 is coming quick, legal here in Canada. My fave dispensary just shut down (voluntarily) as the cops start to really push out the competition.
Bummer...
Hope you are all well
Oct. 17 is coming quick, legal here in Canada. My fave dispensary just shut down (voluntarily) as the cops start to really push out the competition.
Bummer...
Hope you are all well
2 teeth taken out today, feel like shit.......
GodSaveTheTsar
Member
Howdy, y'all! I applied for a job in Russia a few months ago & it looks like it may be starting to take shape *knock on wood*
If it works, I'll feel a little bad about leaving during Trump...but as an Orthodox Armenian, Russia is Heaven. I need to go since I don't have kids yet, before it gets too late. (No one wants to impregante me tho
)
I love my bf. I wish he would come with me, but he said no (they offered him a job too). I'm depressed he's making me go alone.
There's a Bill Hicks skit when he's in Europe during the LA Riots, he's like, "LA Burns To Ground... did I leave a match on back there?"
That skit scares me lol
I am having very bad anxiety to make things worse. I worry our relationship won't survive idk if I can trust him to be alone for a year cuz HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC WHICH KILLS ME
But...the Tsar was murdered. I don't care if it was 100 years ago, I need to serve my royal family if they'll let me.
If it works, I'll feel a little bad about leaving during Trump...but as an Orthodox Armenian, Russia is Heaven. I need to go since I don't have kids yet, before it gets too late. (No one wants to impregante me tho
)I love my bf. I wish he would come with me, but he said no (they offered him a job too). I'm depressed he's making me go alone.
There's a Bill Hicks skit when he's in Europe during the LA Riots, he's like, "LA Burns To Ground... did I leave a match on back there?"
That skit scares me
lol I am having very bad anxiety to make things worse. I worry our relationship won't survive
idk if I can trust him to be alone for a year cuz HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC WHICH KILLS ME But...the Tsar was murdered. I don't care if it was 100 years ago, I need to serve my royal family if they'll let me.
GodSaveTheTsar
Member
Lol with my luck, they'll cancel on me & all this anxiety would have been for nothing.
But you know who else asked for help in Russia? Agafia Lykova. I'll chill out in the Taiga with her if she needs.
But you know who else asked for help in Russia? Agafia Lykova. I'll chill out in the Taiga with her if she needs.
N
noyd666
to the moon n back would be a nice ride, couple of cartons of VB.
GodSaveTheTsar
Member
I keep accidentally telling people that Trayvon's heart was harvested for Cheney. I want to tell my bf but he might kick me out of his house. He likes to keep his third eye closed.
He was drunk & yelling at me about me being jealous. He ranted at me for a while, ending his thought with, "stop doing that!!"
When he said that, my forehead burned & without thinking I covered my third eye.
And then he's like, "yeah--THAT!!!!!"
...I'm probably going to end up back in the homeless shelter if I don't make it to Russia by October 1st...
He was drunk & yelling at me about me being jealous. He ranted at me for a while, ending his thought with, "stop doing that!!"
When he said that, my forehead burned & without thinking I covered my third eye.
And then he's like, "yeah--THAT!!!!!"
...I'm probably going to end up back in the homeless shelter if I don't make it to Russia by October 1st...
Last edited:
GodSaveTheTsar
Member
(Unfortunately I haven't been able to close my third eye since I studied in India. Even if my guru-ji hates me, he'd probably leave my third eye open as punishment lmao)
T
Teddybrae
It seems to me you do quite well when you leave out the Tsar!
And it is unmercifully cruel to leave your third eye open for all the dross of the world to enter.
However I think you might be pulling our leg when you speak of your enlightenment otherwise you would not worry about your boyfriend ... OR his alcoholism!
this is a highly co-dependent triangle you speak of: boyfriend, alcohol and you.
Perhaps you NEED to go to Russia despite Putin being a Serf.
And it is unmercifully cruel to leave your third eye open for all the dross of the world to enter.
However I think you might be pulling our leg when you speak of your enlightenment otherwise you would not worry about your boyfriend ... OR his alcoholism!
this is a highly co-dependent triangle you speak of: boyfriend, alcohol and you.
Perhaps you NEED to go to Russia despite Putin being a Serf.
N
noyd666
rain on a tin roof is a great sound, wonder what it sounds like on a thatched roof?
I know exactly what it sounds like... it does have a sound of it's own..
But I have no idea what words I would use, to try to describe it to you..
T
Teddybrae
Saw Bud's reply. I think I know what he means. It's like when pissing on a hay bale ...
N
noyd666
I know that sound.
GodSaveTheTsar
Member
He asked me to pick something on Netflix, because I never do. I picked "Hitchhikers Guide..."
I don't think he liked it :/ he put his headphones on & won't take them off even after the movie ended.
Lol looks like I used that "Feelings Gun" (or whatever it's called in the movie) on him because now he looks like I do when we're at the bar aka unhappy.
Very sad. I didn't think this relationship would end this way. I wouldn't have gotten into the relationship if I knew if was going to end this way.
Oh well, I'm already packing like I'm leaving. Either I'm leaving for Russia, or I'm leaving for the homeless shelter.
All the bitches he fucks on Snapchat & at the bar can have him back. He kicked me out anyways.
I fucking hate my life.
I don't think he liked it :/ he put his headphones on & won't take them off even after the movie ended.
Lol looks like I used that "Feelings Gun" (or whatever it's called in the movie) on him because now he looks like I do when we're at the bar aka unhappy.
Very sad. I didn't think this relationship would end this way. I wouldn't have gotten into the relationship if I knew if was going to end this way.
Oh well, I'm already packing like I'm leaving. Either I'm leaving for Russia, or I'm leaving for the homeless shelter.
All the bitches he fucks on Snapchat & at the bar can have him back. He kicked me out anyways.
I fucking hate my life.
GodSaveTheTsar
Member
All these dumb bitches tell me "don't be afraid to be alone, Andrea! Blah blah blah"
They don't know what I've been through. They don't know I have nothing. They don't care about my happiness.
All they care about is Consuming. They know is my bf is a stupid drunk they can take advantage of--he goes to the bar and gets everyone all riled up.
How the two of us ended up together, I really hate thinking about. Again, I wouldn't be here if I didn't love him...but what the fuck how the fuck did this shit fucking happen? I guess you don't really know someone until you live with them.
...I hope the Native Americans make an appearance in the next Civil War. That'll surprise these stupid fucking bar-whores & honkeys.
...whoops, sorry about that! Consider it a friendly "warning" that I am worried about American Civil War & a Native American uprising, eh?
They don't know what I've been through. They don't know I have nothing. They don't care about my happiness.
All they care about is Consuming. They know is my bf is a stupid drunk they can take advantage of--he goes to the bar and gets everyone all riled up.
How the two of us ended up together, I really hate thinking about. Again, I wouldn't be here if I didn't love him...but what the fuck how the fuck did this shit fucking happen? I guess you don't really know someone until you live with them.
...I hope the Native Americans make an appearance in the next Civil War. That'll surprise these stupid fucking bar-whores & honkeys.
...whoops, sorry about that! Consider it a friendly "warning" that I am worried about American Civil War & a Native American uprising, eh?
GodSaveTheTsar
Member
Another sleepless night for me. My legs hurt from being so restless.
He doesn't love me for who I am. It hasn't even been a year & he needs me to wear lingerie to get aroused by me.
He makes me feel so ugly. He makes me want to die.
I can't wait until one day I'm gone & he's like "o shid wat" but then he'll just pay for bar-whores and forget all about me.
I'll be homeless, he'll be drunk--just like it was before he conned me.
He doesn't love me for who I am. It hasn't even been a year & he needs me to wear lingerie to get aroused by me.
He makes me feel so ugly. He makes me want to die.
I can't wait until one day I'm gone & he's like "o shid wat" but then he'll just pay for bar-whores and forget all about me.
I'll be homeless, he'll be drunk--just like it was before he conned me.
M
moose eater
GSTT, I'm sorry you're stuck between having a place to stay, and being with someone who demeans you.
I'm supposed to be gone from here, as I was having my account deleted a while ago, but it's still up, so I'll share some thoughts here, as I've already broken my silence in another thread today.
Take the following for what ever you find it's worth; save it for later, discard it, reflect on it years from now, tell me to fuck off..... What ever you like.
Making decisions for what best serves your needs as a person, based on how another may react, whether you're trying to spite them, or what ever, is a poor manner in which to decide your future. It's got very little to do with -you- in that case. Nor is it looking forward into the future in positive ways. It's a forfeiture of your control over your direction to some degree.
Sometimes relationships of necessity are just that, and sometimes that relationship can be harmful. The fact that you get a place to stay, also has you enmeshed with a person who finds as much fault in you as you sometimes seem to.
Meter your shame, if that's haunting you any.
Where are you getting any strokes for your successes and positive attributes in this? Orgasms last all of about 5-15 seconds if you're lucky. And you already stated that's a let-down now too. You've tied your self-worth to a fellow who seems, by your reports, to be on what ever degree of a self-destruct mission, who reportedly finds as much attraction in a shallow night life and/or a bottle... while belittling you.
You both seem to be looking outside of yourselves for an answer that is inside of you, if anywhere..
There may be more to bring you joy than teetering on rejections, drama, and strife from moment to moment. It seems to me like a roller-coaster that lacks much sense of 'center' in the self..
I strongly suspect that self-worth is damaged a fair bit for the both of you, or you wouldn't be in the emotional dance you're in.
Youthfulness is full of opportunities to engage in flirting, relationship, sex, etc., but it's difficult to truly share yourself with another, when you're still trying to grasp who it is you're sharing (as in, Socrates advise that we spend our lives attempting to achieve, if we're lucky, "Know thyself." And even into our senior years, many have avoided that task). That doesn't necessarily mean abstain from those interests until you reach Nirvana.
In our early years, we're more often sharing who we want to be seen as, or what and who we THINK we are, filtered or skewed by what ever input we've received, good, bad, or ugly. We're sometimes/often still finding circumstances in which we surprise ourselves with our feelings, reactions, etc.,... if we're paying attention to our own heart, mind, feelings, etc. REAL attention, including honest questions and answers of ourselves.
Sometimes in clinging to things that harm us, out of a sense of fear of loss or other desperation, we can do harm to our sense of self that has the capacity to haunt us for a long time.
Find something positive to believe in about yourself, something real, no matter how small or grand you may think it is, balance that with a realistic (not punitive) understanding of the areas in which you believe you need to grow, and such. it's OK to have places we need to grow in. A balanced perspective that addresses ego, and being one that takes into account the Yin & Yang of the self.
Then ask yourself what direction is -truly- best for you.
Life is short. 50 years from now, if you're still kicking, this may well seem like a blink of the eye, spent in drama that caused you greater delay to your own joy..
We can be prone to creating circumstances just through living that have the capacity to build regrets. Be honest with yourself, if you're able, about what you need, and the best possible way to get there.
Good luck to you. And treat yourself well. In what ever ways you're able to.
I'm supposed to be gone from here, as I was having my account deleted a while ago, but it's still up, so I'll share some thoughts here, as I've already broken my silence in another thread today.
Take the following for what ever you find it's worth; save it for later, discard it, reflect on it years from now, tell me to fuck off..... What ever you like.
Making decisions for what best serves your needs as a person, based on how another may react, whether you're trying to spite them, or what ever, is a poor manner in which to decide your future. It's got very little to do with -you- in that case. Nor is it looking forward into the future in positive ways. It's a forfeiture of your control over your direction to some degree.
Sometimes relationships of necessity are just that, and sometimes that relationship can be harmful. The fact that you get a place to stay, also has you enmeshed with a person who finds as much fault in you as you sometimes seem to.
Meter your shame, if that's haunting you any.
Where are you getting any strokes for your successes and positive attributes in this? Orgasms last all of about 5-15 seconds if you're lucky. And you already stated that's a let-down now too. You've tied your self-worth to a fellow who seems, by your reports, to be on what ever degree of a self-destruct mission, who reportedly finds as much attraction in a shallow night life and/or a bottle... while belittling you.
You both seem to be looking outside of yourselves for an answer that is inside of you, if anywhere..
There may be more to bring you joy than teetering on rejections, drama, and strife from moment to moment. It seems to me like a roller-coaster that lacks much sense of 'center' in the self..
I strongly suspect that self-worth is damaged a fair bit for the both of you, or you wouldn't be in the emotional dance you're in.
Youthfulness is full of opportunities to engage in flirting, relationship, sex, etc., but it's difficult to truly share yourself with another, when you're still trying to grasp who it is you're sharing (as in, Socrates advise that we spend our lives attempting to achieve, if we're lucky, "Know thyself." And even into our senior years, many have avoided that task). That doesn't necessarily mean abstain from those interests until you reach Nirvana.
In our early years, we're more often sharing who we want to be seen as, or what and who we THINK we are, filtered or skewed by what ever input we've received, good, bad, or ugly. We're sometimes/often still finding circumstances in which we surprise ourselves with our feelings, reactions, etc.,... if we're paying attention to our own heart, mind, feelings, etc. REAL attention, including honest questions and answers of ourselves.
Sometimes in clinging to things that harm us, out of a sense of fear of loss or other desperation, we can do harm to our sense of self that has the capacity to haunt us for a long time.
Find something positive to believe in about yourself, something real, no matter how small or grand you may think it is, balance that with a realistic (not punitive) understanding of the areas in which you believe you need to grow, and such. it's OK to have places we need to grow in. A balanced perspective that addresses ego, and being one that takes into account the Yin & Yang of the self.
Then ask yourself what direction is -truly- best for you.
Life is short. 50 years from now, if you're still kicking, this may well seem like a blink of the eye, spent in drama that caused you greater delay to your own joy..
We can be prone to creating circumstances just through living that have the capacity to build regrets. Be honest with yourself, if you're able, about what you need, and the best possible way to get there.
Good luck to you. And treat yourself well. In what ever ways you're able to.
N
noyd666
hi to you moose, i'm gone to but i'm still here.
