Security Guards

[Gangabiss]

Just got back from B&Q and was being followed around the shop the whole time by this fucking security guard that apparently thought I was on the prowl for some free watering cans or something.
I change to the next isle and he walks over and stands at the end staring at me...I walk outside to look at the soil and he follows me outside and watches me.
I have to admit I was considering stuffing a couple of 50l pots under my shirt and sneaking out but my conscience got the better of me

Maybe it was the beanie I was wearing or the hood on my jacket that red flags me as a shoplifter? I get this treatment pretty much every big shop I go in and it really pisses me off to the point I feel like walking out and saying 'fuck you arsehole!' to the security guard.

Of course I must look slightly odd, a stoned 21 year old male shopping for soil and lime at 1:30pm on a weekday but that still doesn't mean I'm a theif for fucks sake.

Surely some of you guys get the same treatment? How do you feel about being branded a potential theif for simply walking into a shop?

 

[Guest]

you gotta put a bunch of stuff in your pocket and then go pay for it at the register....or maybe that would be stupid....

why are security guards always old or is this just my experience?

 

[Gangabiss]

haha yea he was at least 60. Looked like a real grumpy old git.

 

[Trichome Toker]

Wear a business suit, and big thick nerd glasses everywhere you go.

That is what I do.

No one ever suspects the butterfly...

Bart: Hey Lis, you still upset about that jazz guy? Well, I believe that when you die, you can come back as whatever you like. I'll be a butterfly.
Lisa: How come?
Bart: 'Cause... nobody ever suspects the butterfly!
(The view changes to Springfield Elementary School burned to rubble)
Principal Skinner: I didn't burn down the school! It was the butterfly I tell you! The butterfly!
Chief Wiggum: He's crazy boys, get the taser.
Bart: [as a butterfly, holding a can of gas] Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

 

[Ruosk]

It's annoying when that happens, though the guy is just doing his job. I look pretty suspicious to some in worn out clothes and free growing beard so I've had my fair share of suspicious security guards. And oh, I work as one now, though not in stores

 

[Gangabiss]

lol TT good advice but that's not my point.

I shouldn't have to dress like a business man to simply go shopping, I want to be able to dress how I like without fear of being suspected a shoplifter.

 

[Z10N]

it is all about the energy you give out.

 

[Trichome Toker]

I want to be able to dress how I like without fear of being suspected a shoplifter.

So do I.

I hate fucking wearing nerd glasses, and I hate dressing like a total nerd, but I do it.

I was joking with the Bart Simpson thing (my favorite episode), but I actually practice the butterfly rule in real life, I wasn't kidding.

I really do have a pair of thick nerd glasses I wear when I leave the house, and I have a collection of nerdy outfits, every thing from business suits, to collared shirts with sweaters I wear over them.

People would never think in a million years that I ever did anything illegal.

When I move into a new place, before I start growing, I go over to the neighbors house all dressed up with my nerd glasses, and see if they want to attend prayer meeting with me.

I even call people "sir", and am excessively polite with people to the point of being annoying.

I used to have long hair down past my shoulders, and dress however I wanted.

Now I do the butterfly technique, because I can just swallow my pride/shame and dress like that, knowing it is for the greater good in 99% of situations, especially being an herb grower.

After awhile, you get used to it, you actually feel proud that you are totally fooling people, it is like being an actor.

My uncle always told me: If you want to break the bigs rules you have to follow the small ones.

Now I realize you weren't trying to break any rules, and you shouldn't get harassed, but the point is you did, and you wouldn't have if you had practiced a bit of deception, and made people think your something that your not.

 

[Gangabiss]

Ruosk, I know he's just doing his job and I respect that, but I already have social anxiety and the last thing I need when I go out is a security guard following me around staring at me constantly. I mean, do they actually want my money or are they trying to scare customers away? They have cameras don't they?

I hope you try to keep an open mind whilst you go about your job and follow around a few grannies to even it all out lol

eaglevision, you don't like my helmet?

 

[Gangabiss]

Z10N I know what you mean. I just tend to get nervous when buying grow supplies for obvious reasons. In other situation however I can regulate my nervousness pretty well.


"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Trichome Toker again."

I totally see what you're saying but that is just not me. I don't want to bend to the will of societies expectations. I just want to be left alone an not hassled.
No doubt it is a safer choice to do as you do and try to blend in but I'll take my chances...and there is no way I could call anyone 'sir'.

 

[DogBoy]

Do a search for 'SCONE' on a security site. It's search, conceal, observe, nonpayment and exit You will be quite surprised at the rules of shoplifting.

It's also impossible to prosecute a pregnant woman for stealing food in the UK. There's lots of fun to be had with unjust attention from security guards in stores.

 

[Gangabiss]

I searched around for SCONE but found nothing to help me.

Could you elaborate on it?

 

[page1]

Whenever me and my friend used to get stoned before college and get some munchies from woolworths, almost every time we got watched and cameras used to move the direction we moved. Then we found out that they can't get you done for shoplifting unless you step out of the shop. So me and my friend used to put whatever we were guna buy in our pockets...walk towards the door as they are following us waiting for use to leave...then do a sharp left at the counter and pull it all out and pay for it. They always look so pissed off. once there were about 6 security guards following us as we got near the door and did the sharp left to the counter.

page1

 

[Guest]

Walk over to the security guard and engage him in conversation... Hi... Where can I find the organic soil mixes... blah blah... disarm him with your friendliness and openness.

 

[Guest]

lol TT good advice but that's not my point.

I shouldn't have to dress like a business man to simply go shopping, I want to be able to dress how I like without fear of being suspected a shoplifter.

want in one hand, shit in the other life aint fair.
if a security gaurd follows you around to the point of aggravation, turn to them, and slowly rub your nipple through your shirt while making a confused face at him...he will leave you be.promise.

 

[Grenouille]

want in one hand, shit in the other life aint fair.
if a security gaurd follows you around to the point of aggravation, turn to them, and slowly rub your nipple through your shirt while making a confused face at him...he will leave you be.promise.

 

[Gangabiss]

LMFAO

And what if he shows interest? That plan could backfire so easily...

 

[Trichome Toker]

OK I have a fool proof one, bring fake blood capsules next time, and if he follows you around, just start walking toward him and violently coughing up fake blood on his face and eyes, and pretend you can't help yourself, and just be like "All man this fucking HIV is finally starting to take it's toll! And it is making my Hep C even worse! Ahhhhh I'm fucking dying man! This is hell!".

Not only we he stop following you, he will probably quit his job and have a nervous breakdown.

 

[bounty29]

My uncle always told me: If you want to break the bigs rules you have to follow the small ones.

Such an easy rule, but I think it's the most important.

As for your security guard situation, go confront him. Just go up, politely let him know that you know he's following you, and ask if there's a problem. He can't kick you out for that, and he'll probably find something else to do after that.

 

[Irishslappop]

LMFAO

And what if he shows interest? That plan could backfire so easily...

then a swift kick to the groin and a good run is in order.