Post your limerick here !!!

[Gypsy Nirvana]

right - here we go <remembers singing Rugby songs>


- There was an old man from Almanor -
- who would do anything for a tanner (sixpence) -
- his favourite trick - was to stand on his prick -
- and tighten his balls - with a spanner -

* Baa-Dum-Tissss!

 

[moses wellfleet]

A sensitive aardvark called Mingus
Found foreplay hard work with no fingers.
But his praises are sung
For his fourteen inch tongue
Gives his ladies a pleasure that lingers.*

 

[Guest]

Lots of old rugby songs were limericks put to music. Some of my Yukon Territory friends would share some of their favorites, way back when.

-----------------------------------------------------

Tickle me, tickle me, you know where

under me kilt, and in me hair

And if you don't tickle me in the right place

I'll lift up my kilt, and piss in your face.

(Thanks Mike....for the ear-worm of another variety, that seems to have lasted for 44 years).

There's more.

The Eastern Maritime Provinces have some great old fishing songs that are equally crude, and often times a fair bit more humorous, if you can get past the New Brunswick, Newfie, and Nova Scotia accents to understand the lyrics.

Note: Technically a limerick has 5 lines, with the first 2 rhyming with each other, the second 2 rhyming with each other, and the 5th rhyming with the first 2. But this is a non-conventional site, anyway, right??

 

[moses wellfleet]

A singer who came from Milano
Had privates made out of Meccano.
He sang bass-tenor, but
By unscrewing one nut
He could also reach mezzo-soprano

 

[armedoldhippy]

there was an asshole from new york
who got caught sticking his dick in a pork.
when told "that is a swine"
he said "yep, and she's mine!"
and was never elected again...

 

[Midnite Toker]

There once was a lady from brandles,
she couldn't extinguish her candles
She blew till she belched
but they wouldn't be squelched
so she bashed the damn things with her sandals

 

[D. B. Doober]

Me Chinese, me play joke!
Me put peepee in your Coke!

 

[moses wellfleet]

Me Chinese, me play joke!
Me put peepee in your Coke!

Me Chinese, me play joke!
Me put peepee in your Coke!
Me know its dumb!
Would be so much better with cum!
But you will still fucking choke!

 

[thailer]

epic bump Moses! these are all great!

 

[tobedetermined]

There once was a man from Kent
Whose cock was doubly bent
To save him some trouble
He stuck it in double
Instead of coming, he went

 

[moses wellfleet]

There was a young sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates.
But a fall on his cutlass
Has rendered him nutless,
And practically useless on dates.

 

[unregistered190]

you are on it Moses!
have a great day

 

[moses wellfleet]

you are on it Moses!
have a great day

May your day go better than Bates'

 

[chuckyoufarley]

jack & jill went up the hill to score a bag of grass jack was swift & rolled a spliff now he's gettin some ASS

 

[chuckyoufarley]

jack & jill went up the hill to score a bag of grass jack was swift & rolled a spliff now he's gettin some ASS
from my very own head

 

[moses wellfleet]

A sexy young maiden named Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

 

[imiubu]

The grass was green the sky was blue,
from out of the ally a shit wagon flew.
A bump was hit a scream was heard,
a man was killed by a flying turd.

The things we learn as kids that stick in our minds.
Thanks ma! haha

 

[Sunshineinabag]

That smacks of Jim morrison

 

[Sunshineinabag]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/metro....merick-day-2016-are-totally-nsfw-5877368/amp/

This should help get our creative juices flowing

 

[Sunshineinabag]

A strange young fellow from Leeds
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds.

Omfg