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parents of IC
- Thread starter OG bub
- Start date
G
Guest
awesome pics esbe and mysta! 
maybe one day i'll have a youngin'. from where i sit now though, it'll be awhile.
maybe one day i'll have a youngin'. from where i sit now though, it'll be awhile.
Im my mind, Bub, what we have to accomplish in raising our kids is to provide them with the proper mental tool set so that their belief system can be worked out on their own, instead of being imposed by outside forces...
It is very difficult to raise free thinking children in a society where they are constantly being bombarded with imposed beliefs... In a world where most of the grown-ups don't even realize that their beliefs were programed into them as a child by society... With out directly addressing these impositions, these beliefs programed by society, how can we raise free children? If we do address these things, how do we avoid imposing our beliefs? It's a very fine line to walk...
How to let your child understand that growing and using cannabis is not evil without convincing them it is the good thing they should be doing, for example...
I guess the best ways to overcome the propaganda with out becoming a propagandist in your own right, is to be honest and keep the lines of trust and communication open... To give them a sounding board and a forum to explore their thoughts without having them manipulated...
What do we teach our children? What do we Un-teach our children? What must we Un-learn ourselves?
It is very difficult to raise free thinking children in a society where they are constantly being bombarded with imposed beliefs... In a world where most of the grown-ups don't even realize that their beliefs were programed into them as a child by society... With out directly addressing these impositions, these beliefs programed by society, how can we raise free children? If we do address these things, how do we avoid imposing our beliefs? It's a very fine line to walk...
How to let your child understand that growing and using cannabis is not evil without convincing them it is the good thing they should be doing, for example...
I guess the best ways to overcome the propaganda with out becoming a propagandist in your own right, is to be honest and keep the lines of trust and communication open... To give them a sounding board and a forum to explore their thoughts without having them manipulated...
What do we teach our children? What do we Un-teach our children? What must we Un-learn ourselves?
A lot of being a parent is giving the right advice and showing trust. They hear all kinds of things through TV, computers and school. It's important to encourage them to ask questions to you about anything. I think it's very important to discourage anger and fighting. I tell my boys never to start a fight, but if someone starts something with them, they are to ask them kindly to stop and the second time they have my blessing to defend themselves. The same goes for someone small thats being picked on or being bullied. I also feel it's important to teach compassion. They have been taught that all life is valuble and to kill nothing without a reason.
SensiMilla024
Member
Awesome thread.
I have two children......3 year old boy and a 1 1/2 month old girl.
Lots of people are kinda scared about having kids......I love it.
It's the single most Full-Filling experience I have ever had. I am truly Blessed.
I lead my kids by example. I learned alot from my Childhood. Growing up
in a multi-ethnic family I was able to analyze situations better. I realized
quickly the "cons" of the way my parents raised me, don't get me wrong,
they were very unconditional with love. . . .just not very hands on in my life.
Agape
† SensiMilla †
I have two children......3 year old boy and a 1 1/2 month old girl.
Lots of people are kinda scared about having kids......I love it.
It's the single most Full-Filling experience I have ever had. I am truly Blessed.
I lead my kids by example. I learned alot from my Childhood. Growing up
in a multi-ethnic family I was able to analyze situations better. I realized
quickly the "cons" of the way my parents raised me, don't get me wrong,
they were very unconditional with love. . . .just not very hands on in my life.
Agape
† SensiMilla †
HuffAndPuff
Active member
Gr3atful,
I gotta say, you've hit the nail right on the head- and I never thought I would see myself type that!
I am 25, and have been raised with this "war on drugs". When I was 15 I left the States for a country that had temporarily (defacto) legalized marijuana. I had started smoking before I moved there, and was already aware that "everyone was lying". Seeing things play out in an environment where a non-violent matter of personal choice was more than tolerated just reinforced it for me.
Despite all this, I still feel as if I have residual brainwashing lying around up there. I mean, am I really going to let my (for argument's sake) 16 year old son, who has straight-A's, is respectful, smart, and stays out of trouble, hell who doesn't even like to drink even though his friends do, smoke weed? Do I turn a blind eye if all else is well? Do I have an after school special talk? Do I blaze one with him? I'm thinking blind eye, for now.
It's like driving. Do I not buy him a radar detector, and ground his ass for speeding? I'm assuming that I will have sped while driving with him in the car, at some point. Maybe even gotten a ticket, knowing me. So, whammy, daddy's a hypocrite and we don't listen to him. At the same time, I don't think it'd be responsible parenting to not say anything, buy him a BMW and let him rip. My take for now is, try to set the right example. Teach the kid how to be a good driver, explain that yes, I think speeding tickets are a source of revenue, but that's life. I will buy them a radar detector, explain to them that I will not be paying for any tickets or bump in insurance. And if the ticket gets written for more than 90mph, I'm taking the car for 30 days. (prolly less than the suspension they will get). I want to show them that I trust them to use their judgement; and that while I don't always think that the law is right, there is such a thing as consciously, and inconspicuously, choosing not to follow CERTAIN laws. This does not imply that you will not be held responsible. In fact, part of being a man is taking the rap when you do get caught breaking a law that you "conscientiously object" to. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
I do think that it is fantastically ridiculous that the government is going to dictate how I raise my kids, in certain areas. It should be my decision as to whether or not I want to allow my 16-21 year old to drink and smoke butts/weed, or whether I am going to punish him for it. He is a young adult, and the choices he makes will be important in shaping his development. But if he gets caught literally experimenting with grass, his shot at college, a good job, a stable financial future could be right down the drain.
I mean, WTF?! How can we not let an 18 year old- who can elect the president and die for his country- be considered old enough, mature enough to enjoy a drink. Keep in mind how we all see drunk 30 somethings behaving. How many drunks are in a bar? And how many of them are under 21? Not only that, but we charge CHILDREN aged 12, 13, 14 as adults, for certain crimes, all day long. WHO DOES THIS SERVE?!?!? It just makes me so goddamned angry.
And this is where I need to keep the urge to raise them with a "**** authority" attitude at bay. Obviously, it would not serve them well in life. It certainly never worked well for me, and it has been a bitch trying to break myself of those ways.
The world is just so confusing and confused already, I'm just scared I am going to eff them up by being this big hypocrite. My mom was the one to say "do as I say not as I do" and that was when I thought she had never done any wrong in her life. I'm old enough to know that parents are people, too. But I was raised thinking that they could do, and did, no wrong. So I was always thinking, man what the hell is wrong with me?! why can't I just succeed? Why aren't I good at math? Why do I get into fights? Mom and dad can sit still at dinner, and Dad's boss ain't calling him every night before dinner to speak with HIS mother!
I guess there are worse things than growing up thinking your parents are goody two-shoes. But I want my kids to know the real me- for better and for worse. I want to be able to be honest with them, and myself, about what my failings are, without burdening them or making them feel that they come from bad stock. I also don't want them to be carrying around my baggage, so these are all very fine lines, you know?
Man, this is a very heady topic. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that I can keep these discussions at a philosophical level for a while longer, and out of the realm of reality. Hope this finds all of you well, whether you are a kid, or you have them. Christ, especially if you fall intoboth categories!
Stay Safe,
HuffAndPuff
I gotta say, you've hit the nail right on the head- and I never thought I would see myself type that!
I am 25, and have been raised with this "war on drugs". When I was 15 I left the States for a country that had temporarily (defacto) legalized marijuana. I had started smoking before I moved there, and was already aware that "everyone was lying". Seeing things play out in an environment where a non-violent matter of personal choice was more than tolerated just reinforced it for me.
Despite all this, I still feel as if I have residual brainwashing lying around up there. I mean, am I really going to let my (for argument's sake) 16 year old son, who has straight-A's, is respectful, smart, and stays out of trouble, hell who doesn't even like to drink even though his friends do, smoke weed? Do I turn a blind eye if all else is well? Do I have an after school special talk? Do I blaze one with him? I'm thinking blind eye, for now.
It's like driving. Do I not buy him a radar detector, and ground his ass for speeding? I'm assuming that I will have sped while driving with him in the car, at some point. Maybe even gotten a ticket, knowing me. So, whammy, daddy's a hypocrite and we don't listen to him. At the same time, I don't think it'd be responsible parenting to not say anything, buy him a BMW and let him rip. My take for now is, try to set the right example. Teach the kid how to be a good driver, explain that yes, I think speeding tickets are a source of revenue, but that's life. I will buy them a radar detector, explain to them that I will not be paying for any tickets or bump in insurance. And if the ticket gets written for more than 90mph, I'm taking the car for 30 days. (prolly less than the suspension they will get). I want to show them that I trust them to use their judgement; and that while I don't always think that the law is right, there is such a thing as consciously, and inconspicuously, choosing not to follow CERTAIN laws. This does not imply that you will not be held responsible. In fact, part of being a man is taking the rap when you do get caught breaking a law that you "conscientiously object" to. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
I do think that it is fantastically ridiculous that the government is going to dictate how I raise my kids, in certain areas. It should be my decision as to whether or not I want to allow my 16-21 year old to drink and smoke butts/weed, or whether I am going to punish him for it. He is a young adult, and the choices he makes will be important in shaping his development. But if he gets caught literally experimenting with grass, his shot at college, a good job, a stable financial future could be right down the drain.
I mean, WTF?! How can we not let an 18 year old- who can elect the president and die for his country- be considered old enough, mature enough to enjoy a drink. Keep in mind how we all see drunk 30 somethings behaving. How many drunks are in a bar? And how many of them are under 21? Not only that, but we charge CHILDREN aged 12, 13, 14 as adults, for certain crimes, all day long. WHO DOES THIS SERVE?!?!? It just makes me so goddamned angry.
And this is where I need to keep the urge to raise them with a "**** authority" attitude at bay. Obviously, it would not serve them well in life. It certainly never worked well for me, and it has been a bitch trying to break myself of those ways.
The world is just so confusing and confused already, I'm just scared I am going to eff them up by being this big hypocrite. My mom was the one to say "do as I say not as I do" and that was when I thought she had never done any wrong in her life. I'm old enough to know that parents are people, too. But I was raised thinking that they could do, and did, no wrong. So I was always thinking, man what the hell is wrong with me?! why can't I just succeed? Why aren't I good at math? Why do I get into fights? Mom and dad can sit still at dinner, and Dad's boss ain't calling him every night before dinner to speak with HIS mother!
I guess there are worse things than growing up thinking your parents are goody two-shoes. But I want my kids to know the real me- for better and for worse. I want to be able to be honest with them, and myself, about what my failings are, without burdening them or making them feel that they come from bad stock. I also don't want them to be carrying around my baggage, so these are all very fine lines, you know?
Man, this is a very heady topic. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that I can keep these discussions at a philosophical level for a while longer, and out of the realm of reality. Hope this finds all of you well, whether you are a kid, or you have them. Christ, especially if you fall intoboth categories!
Stay Safe,
HuffAndPuff
Last edited:
G
Guest
I have 2 kids 26 and 23. I am so damn proud of them it isn't funny. If they are to be my memorial after I'm gone, i'm happy. I enjoy how the relationship has grown and evolved through the years. My grandson is something else, in a great way. He's my man.
muddy waters
Active member
Bout to have one of my own too. Don't know if it's boy or girl, 1 or more, still early so all bets are off but if it's time, well then it's time... Thought about taking care of #1 for a few more years but then nature came in and said playtime's over. (The pill stops working after they stop taking it?) As great as it will be for me (thanks for the reminder, Chamba), I'm happiest that it's the first grandchild for everyone involved and all our parents deserve it as they did a hell of a job and waited long enough.
G
Guest
Congrats, Muddy! I mean that. Congrats. My first born was conceived during one of those "I just want to give my body a break from the pill for bit." Then being a young fool, I fell for the "I don't like condoms. It's safe" line. But I'm sure you didn't fall for any of that, did ya, Muddy? lol Congrats man.
muddy waters
Active member
Thanks Old Fool, you know, actually I think I put a little too much faith in that 'pot lowers your sperm count' study, too. That and I never bothered to understand the first thing about the rhythm method we were supposedly using to not get pregnant. Would've helped but ah well it's the right time. Thanks for the message.
Makavellian
Member
im only a young college freshman, but i gotta say, when i was in school , the most corrupted and messed up students were the ones who were driven by greed ego and selfishness. this i believe is coming from the media/mtv influences that casts a huge grasp over what the kids see, hear and idolize. it may not seem like much because it starts out with some make up or new sneakers, but if the imitation and envy of popular "stars" (the rich ****s who could care less what kind of influence they impose amongst their listeners and followers as long as they make their buck) continue and grows like they have in the past couple of years, parents will have a very hard teaching and firmly instilling good values and morals upon their children. oh yeah one thing that i think is very overlooked on when raising children is the need for physical education. the body is what the mind moves through and is what brings thoughts to actions, and what gets you off your ass. personally i think a fit body keeps the mind sharp and clear. not to mention the discipline and positive outlook on life it brings about in a person. anyway, this thread caught my interest because i thought i could share some insight to you parents of the ic.
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
I love my son. :smile:
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
I love my son. :smile:
TrustNoOne
Member
all children are awesome.
but having your own and watching them grow into a person is an indescribable feeling.
it definately gave me a purpose in life.
i have a 7 year old boy and consider myself to be an extremely lucky man to be his father. when i pick him up at school i hear 5th grade kids calling him by name. i've always basically tried to guide him to be friends with everyone.
it makes me happy to see him happy. kinda corny, i know. lol
but having your own and watching them grow into a person is an indescribable feeling.
it definately gave me a purpose in life.
i have a 7 year old boy and consider myself to be an extremely lucky man to be his father. when i pick him up at school i hear 5th grade kids calling him by name. i've always basically tried to guide him to be friends with everyone.
it makes me happy to see him happy. kinda corny, i know. lol
G
gizmo
gotta say i have enjoyed reading through this post
got 2 kids myself and a granddaughter(my little monster)
was at my youngests birthday party (18th) and got to say she made me the proudest dad with the way she involved me with all her friends(did i ever feel young again lol)
i love they way kids can keep you feeling alive and needed at all ages
peace
got 2 kids myself and a granddaughter(my little monster)
was at my youngests birthday party (18th) and got to say she made me the proudest dad with the way she involved me with all her friends(did i ever feel young again lol)
i love they way kids can keep you feeling alive and needed at all ages
peace
The cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man on the moon. When you comin home son, I don't know when, but we'll get together then.
Great thread guys.
I have no kids yet. But I really want to have a couple soon.
The whole weed and kids thing is a tough one.
But I know many kids who grew up around weed and they are some of the most well ajusted people I know. I think honesty is the most improtant thing when it comes to that subject.
Teach them that it's misunderstood and others look down on it ,kind of like alcohol.
So keep it to yourself.
BUt if you try to hide it, they will figure it out and they will be more likely to talk about it.
My niece stubled upon my outdoor plantys a few years ago and it was very akward.
I don't think she knew what it was back then. She just said they were ugly plants. lol
And asked what they were because I think she may have had a clue what they were.
But she never brought it up and kept it to her self.
She knows I used to do drugs. Now I just smoke weed.
No drugs for me anymore. But thats probably why she thought it may have been weed.
But she always kept quite about it. I think to protect me.
Great thread guys.
I have no kids yet. But I really want to have a couple soon.
The whole weed and kids thing is a tough one.
But I know many kids who grew up around weed and they are some of the most well ajusted people I know. I think honesty is the most improtant thing when it comes to that subject.
Teach them that it's misunderstood and others look down on it ,kind of like alcohol.
So keep it to yourself.
BUt if you try to hide it, they will figure it out and they will be more likely to talk about it.
My niece stubled upon my outdoor plantys a few years ago and it was very akward.
I don't think she knew what it was back then. She just said they were ugly plants. lol
And asked what they were because I think she may have had a clue what they were.
But she never brought it up and kept it to her self.
She knows I used to do drugs. Now I just smoke weed.
No drugs for me anymore. But thats probably why she thought it may have been weed.
But she always kept quite about it. I think to protect me.
G
Guest 18340
A subject near and dear to my heart, I have 2 kids, 1 y/o Grace and 3 y/o Mark. They are the reason I am alive today. My 3 y/o sees' daddys' "flowers", and I will have no problem teaching them the TRUTH about MJ.
To all the parents out there, this joint is for you!!
To all the parents out there, this joint is for you!!
thats one thing i wonder about. they do have kids narcing on parents these days, so how do you tell your kid to keep their mouth shut about it?!
I cant even begin to fathom havin kids (maybe if the world dont anytime soon i will). Parents of IC, I salute you on doin what sounds to be a fine job raising some nice kids. I hope they are nice back to you, I know as a kid I could have been a lot better to my parents...oh well i'll try not to put them in a home when that time comes...lol. like evlme2, this ones for you!
