Old Pink and Gypsy Nirvana Strip Searched by French Customs!!

[packn2puff]

"Aw haa haw haw"

"Hey no giggling, I did not agree to giggling...it's cold in here...that's all"

"Most definitely you are free to go...aw haa haw haw"


A customs agent with a sense of humor would have said, "now get on the matress, face down."

Man that Jag or you guys might be flagged now.
Another entertaining adventure, that I'd rather not experience myself.

 

[KRS Juan]

Time to paint the Jag and get some new license plates, or upgrade to a private jet or chopper.

Your car is now tagged in both Belgium and France.

Just happy you 3 are ok though.

-KRS Juan-

 

[syko2]

I wonder why your son was not checked, you figure 3 people, 3 people get checked..

So they just allowed your son to chill in the car while you 2 were searched?


s2

 

[Guest]

I wonder why your son was not checked, you figure 3 people, 3 people get checked..

So they just allowed your son to chill in the car while you 2 were searched?


s2

LOL next trip were going to load him up and I'll do the 3g bit again

 

[bartender187]

^^
LOL.

all in good taste... you know... to help with his transition into manhood.

 

[syko2]

What a story it would make for all his new school folks.. but it would only be fair befor hand to let him drive the jag no??


s2

 

[Gamera]

wow. When will the autobiography be published? Glad you guys are o.k.. Kind of like being abducted by aliens without the probe. whew!

 

[Subversive]

Great story! Glad y'all 'r safe.

Subversive

 

[Dutchgrown]

wow. When will the autobiography be published?

Odd you should mention that Gamera, actually been suggesting to Gypsy for quite some
time that he should be thinking of getting it all down for print, and since I am a fast typist (around 80-90 wpm)
and do take alot of dictation from him for the magazine and other projects, we'll have to get that going!

Hmmmm, seems like it would make for an awesome winter assignment, yeah, that's it, bask in the
warm tropical breezes and write a book. Hint..hint..hint...to Gypsy


dg

 

[zeppelindood]

I'd be excited to buy my copy DG... sounds like something he needs to do before he gets old and forgets about it all.... lol

 

[Chamba]

lol...you shook hands with them as you parted...I guess that means they didn't go as far as they could of.....in a latex way

I was strip searched flying into Australia one time...they had already decided to do that as I went through Immigration..as I was going through Customs they gave my bags a really thorough "by the books" search over and there were other Customs guys hovering seriously from a distance of a 4 or 5 metres away with the look as if they were ready to try and tackle me if I ran...I just shook my head!.... I thought, what a bunch of idoitic phuckwits( meanwhile, as I'm getting the 3rd degree time waste, some Old Italian grandma or a young good looking family walks through with a few klicks of smack!)...

I should of known something was up on the previous entry into Oz as the guy who searched my bag only gave it a cursory going over and was more concerned with my trips to Thailand and asked what do I do there, who pays for the ticket etc so I told him (with a tiny hint of sarcasm) when he had finished his little flick through of my bags "to feel quite free to search all the bags...you know ...down to the very bottom " ...he said "we will just give your bags a light search this time, so maybe you will relax and smuggle something next time" I looked at the asshole (wishing I had a recorded the convo!) and shook my head slowly as if to say I can't believe you just said that you idiot!- Aussie Customs btw are Nazis..I told him "I paid more in tax this year than you earned so why would I smuggle drugs...(he said nothing and a few moments passed) .."am I free to go?"...he said "that's all, you may go"..(I should of demanded to see his superiors and filed a complaint..but shit is not me..)

...so back to the following flight into Oz...they gave my bags a real good search over, pulling everything out, squeezing toothpaste, taking things away for re-xray and taking forever.."here we go!" I thought .....

I usually have my bags searched, but this time was a real serious search ..they even squeezed the handles and felt all over the empty bag..then he says he wants me to follow them to that room. I said "are you going to strip search me?" in disbelief..yes he said " How long will it take?, my sister is waiting for me"..not long he said....and it didn't ,,,,there were uniformed two guys in the room and as soon as I got in there I pulled my shirt off quick smart " woah" they said, "please read this form..." which states basically they have the right to strip search me and this search is "random"...( yeah, right....( more "random" if you are a single male aged from 20 ~ 35, frequent Asian trips and pay cash for the ticket).and then they said I have to remove each piece of clothing one piece at a time in a special order when they request it and hand it to them ....one shoe to them, and then the other, then one of the socks, pants and then undies..but strangely they didn't ask me to remove my long sleeved buttoned shirt but had to hold it up and turn etc ........I was joking with them saying " this must be as unpleasant for you as it is for me" ..."now I know why Mum always said to wear clean under pants! lol" blah blah....I got them relaxed and smiling ( in a serious sort of offical way) and they realised I was the world's best actor or had nothing on me ...then I halfway through the strip search I said " you are not going to stick a finger..." (as I made a gesture with my index finger with a concerned look on my face) " are you?" ...that might not be necessary they said .....I had to bend over and peel open the cheeks..turn around hold up my balls, run fingers through my hair etc .I didn't have anything on me, but even so just being put through that proceedure conjures up guilt and fear "did I leave something there?"....

I timed it - less than 5 mins from start to finish

now, if they asked me to bend over and wanted to rubber glove me I would refuse and request a nurse or doctor not some Aussie Customs guy who probably gets his jollies fingering hetro butts 5 times a day...if a medical person was not available then a female Customs fingerer would have to suffice! lol.......you can refuse the finger, but they will make you stay there until you have left them with a parting gift - a number twoey or they will take you to a hospital for xrays


ever since that time I was strip searched I have only been lightly searched or waved through at Oz airports

if I have to carry a little ganja with me on flights I would swallow it and pass it through on the other end..that way you can feel very secure and safe.

the secret to walking through checks when carrying your ganja is to hide your natural emotions and place other emotions in their place......eye contact with officials is important, ..."guilty" persons tend to be excited or look nervous...the pro smugglers practice that " jet lagged, tired and bored" look

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

The Snapping of Rubber Gloves?

The Snapping of Rubber Gloves?

They left the door to the small rotten/filthy cell slightly a-jar as I was put thru this strip-search ordeal......One French customs guy (the tall-lanky, follically challenged, gormless looking one with the un-even moustache) stood in the doorway and his supervisor was with me in the cell telling me what I was supposed to do. He ran thru some phrases about how they were legally entitled to see me butt naked by some European convention ruling as I removed my shirt and dropped my keks (pants).....

Now I thought that perhaps an amateur wanna-be French proctologist would appear suddenly from waiting in the wings as this drama unfolded, snapping the rubber gloves onto his hands and wanting to take a close look up where the sun don't shine....... Lo-and-behold this did not happen!......They did not want to explore my Hershey highway nor my meat and two veg...phew!......All they required of me was that I take my clothing off and then do a 360 degree turn.....probably so that they could see that I did not have anything taped to my body and only having the bits that I should have hanging off me.

So they got me to execute a pirouette in my birthday suit and that was basically it.....I could then put my clothing back on and was led back to the room I was in before with Old Pink sitting in the corner and his 3 gramms of Afghani still in the coffee shop bag it was sold to him in on the table.

 

[guest123]

hey chamba , your dead right mate , aussie customs are nazies ... the did the old search on me last time i went through ,, i think they are all jealous some of us travel and they dont or something like that ,,, .. the didnt take to kindly to me saying they were all weirdos for wanting to see me naked , i dont think that went down well with them either .. no sence of humour , and i was the one youd think wouldnt be laughing at the time ...

 

[Guest]

**now, if they asked me to bend over and wanted to rubber glove me I would refuse and request a nurse or doctor not some Aussie Customs guy who probably gets his jollies fingering hetro butts 5 times a day...if a medical person was not available then a female Customs fingerer would have to suffice! lol.......**

Man im sorry you got treated like that at our airports but i had to laugh when you said that! Just picturing a purdy l;ittle customs lass with gloves on and a finger wooops i better stop now

Seriously though, that is some grilling they put you through, i didnt realise they were so anal

 

[Guest]

Gypsy,

I must say I do enjoy reading about your adventures. It is a travesty we have such terribly misguided individuals throughout the world making silly laws against herb. I think the book would certainly be an intriguing read if you have other adventures like the two I have read recently about you. Damn those Belgian Bastards. Best of luck in your future travels. BTW, I too have an S-Type R. 2004 Blk/Charcoal. I love it. It totally blows the doors off of many unsuspecting drivers.

Peace

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

I sat back down at the table in the room with Old Pink and the scribbling French customs fella........He had to write so much out in long-hand that I thought to myself that it would not be long before he succumbed to a repetative strain injury in his wrist.......

This tiny little bag with a tiny bit of cannabis resin (Hashish) lay there on the table and I thought about how many actual man hours/time was going to be spent on this triffle of a non-offence......and I gazed out the window as many other vehicles slid by un-molested and un-checked by the French customs people because they were fully booked dealing with us and confiscating 3 gramms of hash from Old Pink.....

Then I said to the French supervisor guy....'Maybe while you take an hour and 3-4 men to search and confiscate a tiny bit of legally bought Hashish, a car full of terrorists and explosives is passing you by out there. Or perhaps a couple of tons of fine sensimilla just went by in that van, because you don't have any customs guys checking anything right now it seems?'......He quite obviously understood what I was saying as it sunk in......and there was a sort of twinkling in his eye as he ran it thru his brain......Maybe he thought that we might be a decoy of sorts.....using the oldest smuggling trick in the book?

....and maybe.....maybe he was absolutely right!

 

[Gamera]

When I'm frisked I always let out a nice loud moan when they touch the bum or crotch. They turn red and hurry it up. In fact I just did that at the Queensryke and Judas Priest show and got some good laughs!

 

[Dr. D]

oooh the old strip search...iv had to do that on many an occasion..it actually became a weekly thing at one point, it was ridiculous of course complaints were made...but the worst on was wen i was trippin my ass off and i walk into the cell to see the head DS pig snapping his rubber gloves on.... fuckin freaked me for a minute..it wa bad enough being in the police station on acid!! Glad u, ur son and OP got thru ok! lol evrytime theyd strip search my friend hed rip his clothes off and say heres my balls and heres my arse!!

 

[Guest]

here's some pic's

here's some pic's

of the scene of crime and the hash

we took these pic's of the french custom's and the hash that I had
the pic's of the hash are from the same coffee shop and in the same bag the bit they stole was in

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

....We both sat there at the table with the French customs supervisor scribbling away on several forms.....They did not even weigh the little piece of hash that sat in the 'Prix D'ami' coffee shop bag that it had been purchased in, but took Old Pinks word that it was around 3 gramms.....

The coffee shop bag with the hash in it was then put into a slightly bigger plastic bag which then had a small form in French attached to it probably to identify what it was and who it had been confiscated from.

I asked the customs guys if it was possible for me to photograph the hash with the form attached for I thought that it would make a great pic to put in the next International Cannagraphic Magazine.....especially if I could get a few of the French customs guys to pose with it......Sadly they declined and said that I was not allowed to take any pictures of them or the hashish which was now destined to be destroyed.....or so they said......

Eventually all the relevant paperwork was completed and still in a jovial mood we both shook the hands of the French guys and bade them a fond adieu, since they said that it was O.K. to go back to the waiting car and head over to the British customs control area.....

My son was waiting by the car with a big smile on his face and a pretty French customs lady by his side. They had been chatting and she had reassured him that we would be returning, so he was not un-duly worried at all. Apparently they had not subjected him to any sort of strip search so his dignity was fully intact....unlike our own.

I got in the drivers side as Old Pink sat behind me in the rear passenger seat. My son sat in the front and I started the engine.
We still had the British customs checkpoint to go thru about 100 yards away and I floored the accelerator towards it leaving the French side in my exhaust.

We gave our passports to the little British immigration fella in the little kiosk and he gave them a cursory look-over then told us that we could proceed.......and this I did slowly past the customs check-point without getting flagged down this time and headed for the train that would take us under the English Channel and home!