My daughters friend, need advise

[George Hayduke]

Don't forget to leave bread crumbs so you can find your way back. Enjoy nature.

nah, i can't get lost in these woods anymore. i wish i could but i've walked them too many times and also looked at google maps way to long. i wished i could get lost like i did when i was a kid.

i also attest to some of the crazier people i've known are chilled out now including me. that doesn't mean thats what you want for your kids. i wouldn't want my kids doing the same shit i've done, nor do i want to be the parent that is so uptight that when my kids finally leave the nest they go wild because they've never been able to do that before. i also attest to some of the crazier people i grew up with are still ****ing crazy.

 

[motaco]

yeah unfortunately that does seem to kinda be the deal.

if she isn't pregnant by some goddamn waste of life at 17 then she'll probably turn out alright at 25

watching everyone two or three years older than you screw themselves up pretty bad helps you learn from their mistakes if nothing else.


It is kinda funny. I know what george is sayin. I had QUIT drinkin by the time I was 18. most kids were really just starting. and those are the girls that get pregnant. they're 18 so they can get into bars, guys buy them drinks, they are dumb and next thing you know they're tin roof rusted. Pass out and guys lay them.

 

[NOKUY]

that's very true danktown, i've noticed that too. a lot of the kids that are the type of kids you don't want your daughter to be or to hang around, like kids that use drugs and get into trouble and drink like crazy and have sex at a young age, actually turn out to be the most mature, well-adjusted people later in life. it's like they grow up so much when they're young that they end up being more mature later. then again a lot of those kids also end up in prison or on drugs for basically their entire lives, but the ones that have a good head on their shoulders and are able to stop using drugs and get their shit together, end up having their shit a lot more together later in life than someone who was raised more conservatively and never did drugs and never had to get their shit together. know what i mean?

i only half agree....maybe my post will prolly make me mostly agree, but...

when i was that age 11...i had been hunting for 5 years, i had been operating a chiansaw for 3 years, and i watched my 7 year old sister when my parents were working out of town for days at a time.

i didnt smoke weed or drink 'til i was well over 20, and had already been in the USMC.

I was bored as fuk w/ school, and if the teacher let me go to the library i always did, and i read and learned.

I NEVER had a curfue, bedtime, or a stop to anything i wanted to do.

...as long as i never got into trouble. (i never did)

but i worked my ass off for my freedom...I dont remember a week when i didnt cut and chop less than 4 cords of wood a week, or ride my bike less than 8 hrs a day.

...or shovel piles of snow

..or clean up after and take care of 2 great danes....all by myself as a little fukin kid....because my parents did nothing but work....and it's what i wanted.

never a christmas, never a birthday....and I'm glad for that.

i would get anything i asked for and i never asked for anything.

if myspace was around when i was a kid my parents wouldent have evn had a computer...and i wouldent have cared. (i never have had a phone or tv or computer in my bedroom to this day).



every second my parents had off we went hunting or fishing or shooting or to a national park or something like that.

wake up and live!

 

[Stoner4Life]

I sure don't post shyt to be popular or to go with popular opinion.

Yamaha....... I came down hard on you because you came here with a problem involving your child, her girlfriend, and her g/f's mom and you seem very focused on changing the g/f & her mom. The changes need to made in your home, not theirs! I didn't say anything about myspace at all, I mentioned that she has unrestricted net access and perhaps 'unsupervised' might've been a better choice of terms. I realize you check up on those activities but you must admit that you 'catch' the problem AFTER it happens, after your daughter has gotten & read those messages that bother you. That's too fvckin' late dude, period! That g/f's mom must be a piece of shyt for allowing her kid to post those chains or messages and I gave you the easy out on that one....... DISALLOW that friendship. If your kid befriended a 12 yr old heroin junkie would you allow THAT? I think not, so where do YOU draw the line on being a ruling parent?
The cell phone. If, as you claim there is adult supervision in her life she doesn't need it and it is in the hands of others once AGAIN as to what your daughter, sees, hears, shares before you are even, if ever, aware of it. She is NOT going to come and tell you her friends are texting dirty messages EVER!
YOU admitted that you were more liberal than most folks (big fvcking duhhh there) and now you're finding out the real costs of being that 'anything goes' type of parent that you are.
Yamaha, you presented a problem that you've created in giving your kid adult toys to play with and you had the nerve to try to put the blame on others. I saw through that shyt & wasn't going to blow smoke up your ass, I gave you the Dr. Phil 5 minute fixit. If you took away the adult toys in her life (for now) THOSE PROBLEMS OF YOURS WOULD BE GONE!!!!!!! It's just that fvcking easy dude, be the smart parent, do your kid a favor. If you don't have the balls to admit to your child that you gave them too many liberties and then take them away how in the fvck will you ever solve any future issues in her life? Can't you say to your child that you made a mistake? Can't you tell her that it's not her fault (because it's not) but her friends and that you don't want her to have access to that yet?

YOU made the blunder of giving her access to things YOU admit are problems.
YOU want it to stop now. Your problems are in your own home, NOT in her g/f's.

Does EVERY kid in her class have a cell phone? FVCK NO!
Does EVERY kid in her class have unsupervised net access? FVCK NO!
YOUR kid has those things and yet you think the problem is elsewhere in her life.

Open your eyes and fly right as a parent. The fault lies FIRST with you for giving her those things and then in the choice of her friends. Although I came off as a hard ass on you, you cannot go around finger pointing at others when YOU gave her those tools that now worry you so much. Yes, YOU created the monster.

She's only 11 and I didn't say spoiled rotten or anything like that, but are you afraid to take the toys away for fear of her feelings toward you? She's no adult yet & you need to make or help guide most of her important decisions for her at this time, but the toys you gave her allow others to access her in adult ways. She's Barbie Doll age dude. I wouldn't doubt that she'd kick and scream if you tried to take those from her, her behavior might actually remind you that she's not ready for access to adult activities yet in her life. Using those tools (cell & internet) properly is adult business that even a lot of adults fvck up, never mind kids.

When she decides she wants to smoke cigarettes @ 15 are you going to allow that too? Start parenting instead of letting her be led by others before it's too late.

Plus I would rather have her friends call her cell phone then my house bothering me.

btw, THAT attitude is exactly what got you in this jam in the first place. A REAL parent with kids right in this age group wants to know everything that's going on so the problems don't get to the point that they are at now.

yup, I'm gonna say it again....... bad parenting, period.

 

[KharmaGirl]

Way to judge someone you don't even know based on a few paragraphs Who are you to call anyone here a bad parent?!

Good thing I'm not about to judge you based on your posts here....

 

[George Hayduke]

but i worked my ass off for my freedom...I dont remember a week when i didnt cut and chop less than 4 cords of wood a week, or ride my bike less than 8 hrs a day.

aye... i grew up the same way. my parents worked all the time and never had any extra money. i wouldn't want to grow up any other way. i didn't have my own computer until a few years ago and my first phone came was when i got my own place.

i remember growing up and chopping wood for my dad. if it wasn't done we stayed cold and he relied on me for this mostly. myself, and my younger brother a little less. if it wasn't done.... well i never wanted to find out what would happen to me if i didn't do what he said. if my dad said 'jump' you jumped and i'm better off for it today. he taught and trained me how to take care of myself today. the same can't be said about a lot of kids now. they just don't understand what its like to get up at the crack of dawn to chop wood for a few hours everyday.

 

[George Hayduke]

god damn.... i sound like an old bitter man. oh well..

 

[Stoner4Life]

Way to judge someone you don't even know based on a few paragraphs Who are you to call anyone here a bad parent?!

Good thing I'm not about to judge you based on your posts here....

go ahead and judge me....... then ban me for NOT breaking the TOU.
This is not the only site I buy seeds at, so do what you must KG. If I do get banned & I still want Gypsy's seeds then np, I'll just go to Gypsy's Surrey shop for seeds like I did in '02, I get around KG and it'd just be an excuse to hop the pond again. do what you must!

yamaha assigned NO blame to himself yet he has given a mere child adult toys with adult accessing to the entire world.

yamaha put it all out there for us to see and comment on, he didn't request that only 'kind' replies are welcome. yamaha NEVER seemed to put any of the blame on him or his ways & yet he has given her the tools that he's bytching about. His first post asks for advice on what to do about the g/f & her mom, that's NOT his family and OUT of his control! The changes he wants in his childs life are within his control if and when he bones up and gets rid of the items that his daughter has no business having at her age. if that 11 yr old didn't have a cell phone or unsupervised net access then we wouldn't have heard those issues. the problems that yamaha has were brought upon himself by giving in to a childs wants. period. He's looking to cast the blame on others for a situation HE created.

11 yrs old? Barbie Dolls not cell phones and internet. It's obvious to me his kid can't handle herself in those regards.

And his quote aboout not wanting to be bothered by incoming calls? does that sound like a concerned parent? fvck no, he wants the easy way out & he said so in just that one sentence alone.

 

[KharmaGirl]

Mods cannot ban people lol

 

[Guest]

stoner you are FVCKED in the head

 

[yamaha_1fan]

I am going to get the chasity belt and I am going to board up her windows and bedroom door. That will protect her.

S4L I think I deserve the right to call you an ignorant ass.

 

[Stoner4Life]

my last post in your pathetic thread.......

my last post in your pathetic thread.......

S4L I think I deserve the right to call you an ignorant ass.

you do have that right dude as I called you out on bad parenting.

Plus I would rather have her friends call her cell phone then my house bothering me.

That sentence sums up your parenting skills in a single sentence. And I'm just saying that it is the ignorant man who has NO idea who is calling/texting his little girl. You GAVE her that tool and now you're here crying about it & wanting to change her g/f's behavior, just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[NOKUY]

wtf good will come from her myspace connects?

I have NEVER heard anyone say that they made it due to myspace....if your kid wants to be a .....lets just say a "marine biologist"...there are better ...FAR better avenues.....myspace is gonna be nuthin but trouble.

..and all of her myspace friends have e-mail addresses...if they are so tight..then whats the need 4 myspace.

 

[yohomz]

Myspace is basically a cesspool of gossip and garbage. There's really no place for an 11 year old there.

 

[Mr.Pyrex]

why does your 11 year old daughter need myspace in the first place?

 

[genkisan]

Any parent who thinks their rules or wishes will in anyway override the hormonal juices of puberty are more deluded than the guy rushin off to the bank to cash cheques fer dead Nigerian colonels/politicians/oil barons.


Best you can do is teach them respect for others, safety and the value of long term relationships.......everything else is part of growing up, and i a world where hormone laden meat makes kids git their periods at 10-11 years old, yer gonna have to deal with it early.


As fer the Myspace thing, just do what I do..limit the non schoolwork PC time to something manageable (never more than an hour a day, and thats a LOT).

As fer a cell phone, get her to go the fook out and work fer some money, so she can pay her own damn phone bills and have her own landline.....or cell if she chooses to pay that premium. Your home phone is YOURS, if she wants to gossip and chit-chat all fookin day, let her do it on her dime...
Mebbe she'll learn something that way, and not grow up spoiled and with a sense of grandiose entitlement.

The most important parenting tip I can give anyone......burn yer fookin TV.

 

[FRIENDinDEED]

delete her stupid myspace acct. ....if it's on your comp. or monitor it daily (your not gonna monitor it daily)

if she's resourceful enuff and cares about it enuff then she'll figure it out on her own....and i suppose respect that if she doesnt get into trouble.

just hope her and yummy dont hook-up.

i thinks its ok if they meet, yummy wuldnt know what he would want to do, and if he gets an idea in his mind its gonna take him another 3 weeks to make a decision on it. and you know kids lose interest very quickely wiht boring shit so needless to say. . . .

 

[dumbfounded1600]

Just delete her myspace and make her respect you to watch her mouth when shes around you.

 

[dumbfounded1600]

Just delete her myspace and make her respect you to watch her mouth when shes around you.

At this age ... No she doesn't have a say so in to what she wants to do...maybe when she gets older in the real world and wants to make her own decision...yeah make a myspace account...until she shows you that...delete it

 

[NOKUY]

well you could send her a text msg:

sumthin like:

'sup gurl....we should have dinner 2gether 2nite....if ur not bzy?

yur moms and me pikd up sum chiken and slaw frum kfc, and we'd like it if you came into the other room and joined us in front of the TV for dinner.

if your too busy on myspace we understand, but thought we'd invite you to the party tho.

if u get thirsty there is a 12 pak in the fridge.

TTYL
luv dad