Men with dildos WTF??

[Guest]

OK I have never in all my years been able to figure out the stupidity of some men.

My wife works in healthcare at a hospital and is subject to being on call. For pushing 25 years plus.

Over the years I cant count the number of times she and her co-workers have had to deal with men who show up at the ER that have "fallen or accidentally sat on" a huge dildo thats lodged in their rectum. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU GUYS ??? OK I have heard that some dudes like the prostate massage or what ever promts that but have any of you sad fucks ever heard of a lanyard??

Sadly for these dumb fucks it ends up with being opened up and major surgery and from what Im told occasionally a temporary colostomy if they cant reach it from below with forceps.
This is always the funny joke at parties which never include personal IDs for HIPPA's sake and to protect the innocent but it happens over and over even in my regional neck of the woods.
As I type this she was called from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to head in to help take care of some shit for brains. The part they find priceless is the excuses given and even better when a wife or family member is called to the hospital unknowingly and finds out what the situation is. The surgeon is trying to be delicate explaining to the spouse or fam but they all figure it out. But the doctors and nurse's are all professional and just want to take care of the patients in the moment. That is their passion and like my wife they just want to take care of them.
Regardless of the fact your doctors and nurse's will do everything to take care of you since thats what its about for them dont ever think for a minute when they walk out and later wont laugh at what an idiot you are and make fun of you at parties. Just no names. Your medical providers wont ever tell and holds that confidentiality as they should. But so many dudes named John Doe have a dildo or other odd items up their ass it makes most folks say WTF??

 

[Cvh]

My wife works in healthcare too. (We're in the EU).
All I can say is that this is a global phenomenon.

Must be some conspiracy end of the world kind of things. I better go get my tin foil hat. Lol.
Don't allow your wife to have one off those around the house...

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

Maybe they should start putting more pockets on trousers/pants? - old con's know about 'The Prison Pocket' - but I can't see the joy in using that area of the body for storage - unless its absolutely necessary -

I guess some fella's use their butts like a hamster uses its cheeks - and sometimes what they stick up there gets stuck - and I wonder what would happen if the fine people of the medical services were not there to help remove it? -

 

[BadTicket]

 

[kaochiu]

What a poet! ^^^

Going to ER with some unholy item stucked there requiring major surgery, feeling shame is the least of your troubles. I mean, there are tv programs based on them. Folk do crazy things to make it on tv.
I dunno how global this is, we kids in Spain were told to make sure our underwear was always clean... just in case of an accident, so the doctors wouldn't think what sort of evil mother would allow her kid walk around with dirty pants.
Half a century later, I swear I keep it in mind. If you cross the street after the chicken and a lorry runs you over, you'll get a better attention by the doctors reattaching you. It'd be like:
- Look nurse Richards, the patient has clean pants!
- Yes Dr Nigel, you can tell he's much loved by his mum and she must be a remarkable lady
- Yeah, that's why I don't mind so much handling his guts. Let's save him!

 

[GGNo2]

Maybe they should start putting more pockets on trousers/pants? - old con's know about 'The Prison Pocket' - but I can't see the joy in using that area of the body for storage - unless its absolutely necessary -

I guess some fella's use their butts like a hamster uses its cheeks - and sometimes what they stick up there gets stuck - and I wonder what would happen if the fine people of the medical services were not there to help remove it? -

Ive done some time at her majesties pleasure I also used my prison pocket to get some super skunk inside the resort. Wasn't something I particularly relished doing but means must make it just and all that.
I was grateful for the smoke on my 1st couple of nights but I must have gave myself away because my second morning I got a cell spin.

Luckily I had smoked up the eighth I took in.

 

[TychoMonolyth]

WTF dude... you should prefaced this thread with:
At the risk of raising anyone's curiosity.

Lol


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[subrob]

OK I have never in all my years been able to figure out the stupidity of some men.

My wife works in healthcare at a hospital and is subject to being on call. For pushing 25 years plus.

Over the years I cant count the number of times she and her co-workers have had to deal with men who show up at the ER that have "fallen or accidentally sat on" a huge dildo thats lodged in their rectum. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU GUYS ??? OK I have heard that some dudes like the prostate massage or what ever promts that but have any of you sad fucks ever heard of a lanyard??

Sadly for these dumb fucks it ends up with being opened up and major surgery and from what Im told occasionally a temporary colostomy if they cant reach it from below with forceps.
This is always the funny joke at parties which never include personal IDs for HIPPA's sake and to protect the innocent but it happens over and over even in my regional neck of the woods.
As I type this she was called from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to head in to help take care of some shit for brains. The part they find priceless is the excuses given and even better when a wife or family member is called to the hospital unknowingly and finds out what the situation is. The surgeon is trying to be delicate explaining to the spouse or fam but they all figure it out. But the doctors and nurse's are all professional and just want to take care of the patients in the moment. That is their passion and like my wife they just want to take care of them.
Regardless of the fact your doctors and nurse's will do everything to take care of you since thats what its about for them dont ever think for a minute when they walk out and later wont laugh at what an idiot you are and make fun of you at parties. Just no names. Your medical providers wont ever tell and holds that confidentiality as they should. But so many dudes named John Doe have a dildo or other odd items up their ass it makes most folks say WTF??

You talking about dudes asses again? I had to check the date of this post. I remember you telling the same story last year or so. In a political thread, I believe you tied it to Hillary somehow. The whole thing. Your wife at the ER, the global phenomenon thing....it's a little creepy. I mean, we don't HAVE to just talk about cannabis here, but c'mon dude, your infatuation with this subject might be better suited to a different website. Fukn stewy.

 

[GOT_BUD?]

You talking about dudes asses again? I had to check the date of this post. I remember you telling the same story last year or so. In a political thread, I believe you tied it to Hillary somehow. The whole thing. Your wife at the ER, the global phenomenon thing....it's a little creepy. I mean, we don't HAVE to just talk about cannabis here, but c'mon dude, your infatuation with this subject might be better suited to a different website. Fukn stewy.

Some guys talk about cars. Some about fine wines. Some talk about beautiful women.

Stewart talks about men with things lodged in their butts. It's kind of his thing.

 

[Farmer John]

Dildos. Dildos and mens assholes. And the prison pocket. I love you guys.

 

[Farmer John]

Oh for fucks sake

 

[GOT_BUD?]

Wasn't Richard Gere keeping a pet up there? - or was it Tom Cruise?

Why not both?

(It was Richard with a gerbil I believe.)

 

[troutman]

The World has more assholes today than 100 years ago.

 

[St. Phatty]

Women are smart.

When they put things in body cavities, they use Things with Strings.

Though it sounds like some of those dildo's might need more than string to remove.

Don't think 10 pound string would do.

AT LEAST, 100 pound fishing line.

I experienced nothing resembling pleasure the few times I have had cameras etc. up my backside.

But they say some men enjoy the pressure on the prostate.

Are their butts wired differently ?

I have "accessory innervation" in my mouth (extra nerves).

Maybe those guys with the stuck-butt's, have extra nerves in their butts.

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

- It amazes me how much that part of the body is talked about these days - I don't remember so much butt-talk around in the past -

 

[944s2]

- It amazes me how much that part of the body is talked about these days - I don't remember so much butt-talk around in the past -

It’s a very strange world at the moment G,,

 

[Farmer John]

It’s a very strange world at the moment G,,

Im really proud and glad that we here bring more sense to this strange world good job everyone, now. Lube talk?

 

[Guest]

You talking about dudes asses again? I had to check the date of this post. I remember you telling the same story last year or so. In a political thread, I believe you tied it to Hillary somehow. The whole thing. Your wife at the ER, the global phenomenon thing....it's a little creepy. I mean, we don't HAVE to just talk about cannabis here, but c'mon dude, your infatuation with this subject might be better suited to a different website. Fukn stewy.

Going through life perpetually mad and looking for conflict is kind of sad. Smile and have some fun.

Just try to see the humor in the situation. When you live with someone you will hear about their day. Maybe it happened to you and your defensive about it. Or your one of the ones who have a lanyard.
It comes under the category of the crazy things people do. I always wondered why its men and never women. Can you tell my why?

This one turned out to be 23 year old kid brought in by his mom. Luckily for him they put him to sleep and was able to retrieve it. Took about 5 minutes once he was under. The folks all were shocked that it was one of the biggest dildos they had ever removed. I have heard stories at parties about more objects than you can imagine.

 

[MedFaced]

It comes under the category of the crazy things people do. I always wondered why its men and never women. Can you tell my why?

Involuntary muscles in the sphincter can create suction. Fear and tension tighten the prison wallet up. I have heard from jail staff that the women lose things in Narnia as well.

Just remember folks, it's only gay when you push back.

 

[St. Phatty]

Silver Lining

This isn't in the "Trippy Photo" thread.