I'm a Cocaine Addict. There, i said it.

[regseeds]

I recently admitted to my wife and friends a 20 year 'high functioning' cocaine addiction

It was due to the fact i made the mistake of losing my phone in a dealers car (damn cheap tracksuit bottoms without pocket zips)., at that point, when i was exposed, i knew (and had been trying for over 10 years) to stop the damage before I died, or cause irreparable damage to my Wife and kids, I'm sure it would have continued otherwise.

For me, Cocaine was always about having a secret that no one else knew about, the excitement, breaking the rules.

Also it was closely linked to sex (or in my case, pornography) which was something i spent of lot of time involved in during my mid teens and before cocaine took hold ( this is before the internet, were talking VHS territory)

But I'm glad i admitted my addiction because i have lost months, maybe even years of my life to the drug. (i don't mean health wise i mean time spent being high)

If i wasn't taking twice weekly drug tests now (on my own insistence) and i could get away with it, i'd still drop everything and get high immediately.

I just thought this might be an opportunity for others to share their experiences, make open admissions or even secret admissions.

i would truly value hearing your stories to aid my recovery and start a discussion.

Perhaps just knowing i'm not the only one is reassuring.

If theres a conversation to be had please speak up. Its taken me over 40 years to understand that honesty is the only way to survive this life

Peace.

TLDR
My best friend (brother), since I was 4 years old, took his own life. That was the starting point of my addiction/s. Hookers and food were my vices of choice, nothing else.

Smoke a joint, sleep with two, then four and try all manner of craziness. It took 4-6 years to kick it. Stemming from the pain inside myself.

One day, I woke up and discovered life is just a game. If your aces get cracked, it's just variance. No need to lose your discipline.

Made it to the other side.

"Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss."

 

[LndRcLvr]

TLDR
My best friend (brother), since I was 4 years old, took his own life. That was the starting point of my addiction/s. Hookers and food were my vices of choice, nothing else.

Smoke a joint, sleep with two, then four and try all manner of craziness. It took 4-6 years to kick it. Stemming from the pain inside myself.

One day, I woke up and discovered life is just a game. If your aces get cracked, it's just variance. No need to lose your discipline.

Made it to the other side.

"Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss."

You are a strong person. Keep it up ,

 

[H e d g e]

I’ve got to add how fkn ridiculous it is there’s places here ‘helping’ people to ‘recover’ from cannabis ‘addiction’. Full of people that have only agreed to go in the hope of getting their driving license back after a roadside test.
Smoking cannabis makes you less likely to crash your car, the British transport police proved this accidentally while trying to justify a need for testing.
Cannabis isn’t addictive, people have been using it successfully to recover from addiction, a deficiency in endogenous cannabinoids causes addiction to other things, the worlds gone mad.
Politicians should be tested every morning for cocaine and alcohol, until then we’re all fucked.

 

[regseeds]

You are a strong person. Keep it up ,

What was going to happen was always going to happen. I didn't know it yet.

The mind has known vulnerabilities, like a computer program. I appreciate your compliment. Am I not strong or keeping anything up.

I'm just not a slave to the mind.

The conversations between Krishnamurti & David Bohm brought me to total clarity. Mic, drop, moment for me, which set me on the path to freedom.

I remember shouting Holy Shit! Joining the dots between
All You Need Is Kill novel, and Krishnamurti & David Bohm talk about the application the mind builds to protect the EGO. You won't find that online or through any conventional channel.

 

[exoticrobotic]

Cannabis isn’t addictive, people have been using it successfully to recover from addiction