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I was molested as a kid...

Weird

3rd-Eye Jedi
Veteran
I guess the best analogy for a fucked up child hood I can think of is a bend in a young sapling

The bend stays as the tree grows and is forever a feature of the tree regardless

Now I am not trying to condemn anyone to their childhood imprint but it seems to me that humans suffer a similar malady in this regard in that the abuse seems to have shaped that person, normally on a subconscious level so that no matter how hard one tries to grow is still is there presenting itself in some way

When I was a kid my one wish was to try to keep the same thing from happening someone else, some kids dream of being stars or of things or adventures.

When I mean commercializing pot I mean to the point where people can't still just grow a plant, take some shelter and figure shit out.

Sometimes in order to keep perpetuating the abuses of those before us we need to break off from society and take a deep look in our mind at the nature of ourselves in relation to the world.

This should be a basic and essential human right or how else can we prevent corrupting ourselves without evaluation causation in regards to the human condition in us and others?
 
O

[omerta]

@bagend12

maybe its time to look on this from other site, maybe im little harsh.. what i want to say, it is been hard to have such a situation as a kid cause early memories should be best things, which you are holding deep in your heart for whole life.. maybe its time to close that door behind you, renounce this bad memories, leave it, and dont think what will be if i dont have that problem as a kid and who im gonna be today.. time is going in one way, we do not getting any younger.. stop elaborate about it cause it only hurt, and get you sh*t together.. look forward and live a dream..

:tiphat:
 
N

NewAgeGenetics

these early bad memories are the traumas. who did these things are usually alcoholics.
 

Andyo

Active member
Veteran
catholic conspiracy

catholic conspiracy

these early bad memories are the traumas. who did these things are usually alcoholics.

There has been a world wide catholic conspiracy ,in its churches and schools in the 50,s and 60,s
controlled indoctrination and sexual and mental and physical abuse.

The spanish inquisition long before tortured for non belief how fukin sick can humans become
and still wars of stupid religion

pure evil!
 
9

99%

Is there a worse crime than taking away the innocence and future happiness of a child by a rapist? I don't think so. Now I'm a father, the thought of that happening to my kids horrifies me to the core, my heart goes out to any person who went through that.
I now look upon every male who chooses to spend time with children as being a potential sexual predator, I think everyone should.
 
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wasgedn

Active member
I now look upon every male who chooses to spend time with children as being a potential sexual predator,
thats maybe to hard...dunno..

in past most abuse was there where parents had giving charge to 3 party(church,children's home etc) cause them was thinking we give our child to good people who kno even better to raise a child then us(so stupid)
the church is fckt up...
or dyncorp in balkanwar was carieng children which lost all their people and take them to those who have a lot of money and power...
pizzagate....

or just look whats coming to surface on this thread...

but thats all conspiracy theory and i am a lunatic..
 

Stan G.

Member
This thread makes me grateful for loving parents, who protected me from such atrocities. May your hearts and souls find complete peace and healing and may the perpetrators find unending suffering, through numerous torturous rebirths.:tiphat:
 

Phaeton

Speed of Dark
Veteran
This is my social outlet. In six years I have answered maybe six PMs. Mostly I look for questions on lighting, I have a very tight focus and use subjects with complex patterns to channel my energies.
No wife, no kids, no car, no plumbing, and often when I get all messed up I tell folks how I am one of the luckier folks on this earth. I know this because that is the only reason I was allowed to live. 21 broken bones and internal scarring that can roll me in a ball with a sudden weather change.
No details, some things cannot be made pretty under any pretext. I lost two years, I think I was around seven because I don't remember third grade at all or the summer before.

Cancer, untreated, is finally finishing what I was always unable to do. I have to be careful in my enthusiasm for death, some folks mistake it for suicidal tendencies rather than the relief I have been waiting for.
If I was capable of suicide it would have been fifty years ago, not now.

Anyway, I saw the thread and thought I would add my bit. Yes, it is a lifelong sentence.
Abuse is done by bad people, external excuses are just excuses.
If you know five people, two were abused to some degree.
And finally, no matter how good your intentions or how deep your knowledge, no one can ever get near me, what is, is.
 

stoned-trout

if it smells like fish
Veteran
it made my resentment list and has been cleared away with the wreckage of my past....lol...YEEHAW...I went through all diff kinds of abuse as a child...mental ,physical and sexual....but hey atleast they never boned me...being an orphan sucked ass.....may they all burn in hell...gee I guess I haven't quite forgiven them....lol
 

Andyo

Active member
Veteran
defiance

defiance

it made my resentment list and has been cleared away with the wreckage of my past....lol...YEEHAW...I went through all diff kinds of abuse as a child...mental ,physical and sexual....but hey atleast they never boned me...being an orphan sucked ass.....may they all burn in hell...gee I guess I haven't quite forgiven them....lol

I believe its what makes our defiance of their system.
Like most young guys i was in prison with.A
 

Weird

3rd-Eye Jedi
Veteran
Forgiving is essential to liberating one's self from the effects of that abuse

I have been there before, it is a beautiful place to be, I remember what it feels like but to be honest my heart isn't there right now either and I usually am only in that place when the stars align just right. I act as if that is the reality out of faith but haven't felt it in some time.

As much as I can forgive some things, I can't lay down and accept the human condition that allows for a culture that rewards pretending to be one person in the public eye and using the gains made by that image to fulfill one's desires at the expense of another and against the public measure of morality but allowed because most everyone is that grossly corruptible in one way or another when they work with a group of other empowered people who control the masses

I can forgive individuals for acts against humanity but I can't choke down the fact that a majority of the people out there at the core of their being accept this as a ok because that is the only reason it can exist

I might be a criminal but I never passed the buck when it came to making people suffer to fulfill my needs.

I guess that is why I am so anti-mainstream consumerist materialist instant gratification type shallow existence, because it is societies acceptance of the same dynamic out in the open, a real fuck you to the humanity that has suffered for the benefits of a person's pleasure

I do acknowledge, that had I not suffered the way I have, I might perhaps be no different, and this factors into my compassion for the human condition

Lastly however is this bit for those of you who can't escape your defiance, because you know how deeply I understand it, that it is the very measure the mainstream uses to marginalize us

Our reaction to abuse is used to further prosecute our beings so remember this, because we can't change the mainstream as easily as we can change ourselves,and thought it is a struggle to adapt, we have a relationship with a special plant to help us along the way. They don't
 

Stan G.

Member
Forgiving is essential to liberating one's self from the effects of that abuse

I have been there before, it is a beautiful place to be, I remember what it feels like but to be honest my heart isn't there right now either and I usually am only in that place when the stars align just right. I act as if that is the reality out of faith but haven't felt it in some time.

As much as I can forgive some things, I can't lay down and accept the human condition that allows for a culture that rewards pretending to be one person in the public eye and using the gains made by that image to fulfill one's desires at the expense of another and against the public measure of morality but allowed because most everyone is that grossly corruptible in one way or another when they work with a group of other empowered people who control the masses

I can forgive individuals for acts against humanity but I can't choke down the fact that a majority of the people out there at the core of their being accept this as a ok because that is the only reason it can exist

I might be a criminal but I never passed the buck when it came to making people suffer to fulfill my needs.

I guess that is why I am so anti-mainstream consumerist materialist instant gratification type shallow existence, because it is societies acceptance of the same dynamic out in the open, a real fuck you to the humanity that has suffered for the benefits of a person's pleasure

I do acknowledge, that had I not suffered the way I have, I might perhaps be no different, and this factors into my compassion for the human condition

Lastly however is this bit for those of you who can't escape your defiance, because you know how deeply I understand it, that it is the very measure the mainstream uses to marginalize us

Our reaction to abuse is used to further prosecute our beings so remember this, because we can't change the mainstream as easily as we can change ourselves,and thought it is a struggle to adapt, we have a relationship with a special plant to help us along the way. They don't
You have, what seems to be, a proper understanding of the way of the world. Don't let them keep you down, practice compassion, while cultivating kindness and Cannabis.:tiphat:
 

Genghis Kush

Active member
"Forgiving is essential to liberating one's self..."

Karaniya Metta Sutta:

May all beings be happy and secure, may they be happy-minded.
Whatever living beings there are - feeble or strong, long, stout or medium,
short, small or large, seen or unseen (ghosts, gods and hell-beings),
those dwelling far or near, those who are born or those who await rebirth
may all beings, without exception be happy-minded.
Let none deceive another nor despise any person whatever in any place;
in anger or ill-will let them not wish any suffering to each other.
Just as a mother would protect her only child at the risk of her own life,
even so, let him cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings.
Let his thoughts of boundless loving kindness pervade the whole world:
above, below and across, without obstruction, without any hatred, without any enmity.
 

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