I am heart broken

[Hubbleman]

(i posted this on shroomery first but it got out of hand and info was corrupted so im posting it here)

My "soul mate" love of 14 years....

We live on the other side of the word cos i have hjob here and i was working my ass off hoping to make her happy and bring back tons of cash. I loved her, God loved her

Few weeks ago i was tripping and i had a thought, while shes alone she shouldnt suffer alone, and i told her she can go out and have and enjoy herself and maybe hgave some "fun" with other men.

Well few days ago, she really did have "fun" with other man - she slept with him.

That wasnt what i meant when i said things while tripping.

I was devastaeted. But few days ago i relaised i still love her and was hoping to work things out with her when i get back.

Today i found out that her best male buddy was spreading lies about me, nasty lies. And that was partly why she shlep with the other guy.

I was pissed. I said a lot of nasty horrrible things about him. Because he was partly the reason for wrecking our love.

And today my girfried tells me she dumps me. Aparently because i am "too angry" (to her douche bag friend) WHo aparently she had more love for him than me.

I am fucking devastated. My heart still cant processs what happened.

For 14 years i loved her withut any hesitation, with all my heart.

Then i started thinking and i came to realsie thsi was long in the making. Back 14 - 10 years ago when we were going out, i seeen signs, signs that she didnt care about my heart that much and it was alll just a show, for money and fame , afdter all i have a veryu respectable job and it brought a lot of glamour to my girlfriends life. I simply dissmissed those signs cos i loved her.

So today she said its over and she even sweared at me. Aparently because i ws "rude" to he fried" who fucke up our relationship

There is a massive hole in my heart.

And i am fresh out of weed, all i have is wine and smokes.

My heart still cant process it. But something tells me i will survive without her.

Aparently she loved her male friend more than me.......... i was such a fool.

 

[moose eater]

Sorry to read of your heart-ache. People, if nothing else, are fickle, often don't know themselves well until they're in their 60s, and can be misleading to others, as well as to themselves. There's an old saying which I'll paraphrase, as I can't remember the quote, but it went something like, Individually we can be a wonderful species, but collectively we can suck.. Sometimes individually we suck too.

There's lots of pretentiousness about care or concern form others from those who are disingenuous or put on a 'front' for their own ego's benefit. Pretending to care often costs very little. demonstrating that care costs a bit more, and that difference between the 2 separates those who talk a good game for their own self-delusions, versus those who are in the game for real.

Losing primary relationships, or especially involving betrayal in those losses, has always been a major 'Achilles tendon/heel' for me; having lost a lot of persons early in life, coupled with the surrounding behaviors affecting those moments, those losses often turned me into a melted puddle of goo, bordering on psychosis at times. It was heavier than for many persons.

That said, I strongly suspect your assessment is correct; you will recover. And in every storm is a rainbow, and in every rainbow is evidence that there is or was rain. It's Yin & Yang. all of life is a trade-off and balances, and sometimes perspective is the difference in seeing the bullet you dodged, when you were busy thinking about the losses.

Imagine if you'd have gone another 20 years with this person, been married, and her name was on half of your stuff, and THEN she decided she wanted no part of you? That circumstance would take the heart-ache you feel now, and likely turn it into 10=-fold the sadness. Not only would you have had that much more time into the thing, but you'd be out your life's earnings to (likely) about 50%.

We rarely know people as well as we THINK we do. We, as a species, are very prone to putting our best foot forward, and not revealing the proverbial dirt we carry within ourselves. For ego's sake we put forth an image of who we want to be seen as, that often defies the realty of who we are. We are a multi-faceted entity, and so is your former lover; good, bad, ugly, and all points between, to one extent or another.

Sorry for your broken heart, and I hope you recover well down the road, and meet the soul-mate of your dreams; a person who says what they mean, means what they say, doesn't cave into gossip without checking out the validity, and is honest enough with themselves to know themselves for their better and lesser attributes, and is willing to show all in honesty.

If what you lost was a person who looks to gossip, rather than checking details with you, or who tosses away a long-term relationship for a roll in the hay, then you lost virtually nothing but the time wasted thinking you had something else.

And yes, take the time you need to to invest in your relationship. Love, and relationships, like gardens, often don't do so well when neglected.

Take care, and remember what Tom Hanks said in the movie where he's stranded on the remote Island, and comes back to find he's been declared dead, and his soul-mate has moved on. Not knowing what he'll do tomorrow with his life, he reassures his friend that he knows the Sun -will- rise, and (he will continue on)..

Grieve until you don't need to, and don't let anyone else define what that time period is for you. It's YOUR grief. Embrace it and love it until it quiets down.

 

[Cuddles]

What a betrayal! You´d think that after such a long time together that the other person knows better than to believe some crap, right?! Most peoople just never even stop and sak themselves: How does this person know all this, where did they get this so called information from, is it even true? They just believe the crap. No common sense.No respect. no communication.

hubble, I know exactly how you feel. I´ve been been the subject of slander many times, denied by my closest friends, who also believed lies about me. they never even talked to me about it, they just started mobbing me. The list goes on, including my own family/parents!

Do what you have to do to grieve - drink, smoke, cry, get angry punch your arm chair, sleep with others or whatever. Then go tell your shallow ex to fuck off when you get the chance.
Loving someone sucks, especially when they treat you like sh*t, I know all about that too


sorry, mate I got your name mixed up, sorry sorry sorry!

 

[Hubbleman]

Thnaks fore wise words friend
I will find another girl, with a good heart, theres plenty of fish in the sea.
Also i admit i posted this on throoomery - double post- but i neeed this brother, heart ache is killing me

 

[unregistered190]

That really sucks but you will be just fine….I thought the same thing when I got a divorce years ago but in hindsight it was the best thing to have ever happened to me. I have moved on and happier than before for sure.

 

[Hubbleman]

"no ammount of crying is gonna change things"

Yet i still cry to release emotions

 

[Hubbleman]

The fun we had together during 14 years was unreaal... i really thought it will never end....

 

[Cuddles]

"no ammount of crying is gonna change things"

Yet i still cry to release emotions

yes, it´s a totally natural reaction. it´s almost like a reflex to emotions. Kinda like how an orgasm relieves a different kind of tension.

 

[Hubbleman]

...

 

[Cuddles]

great, that´s the best time to tell her to f*ck off and herself

 

[shithawk420]

Hmm.i could tell you lots of stories but I'm not going to.my aunt just passed and my uncle is terminal.they were together for over 40 years.he is literally trying to kill himself with booze.and the girl I love is in prison but she don't love me.

Best advice I can give is don't drink and dwell on it.that will kill you. Time to move on Hubble bubble man.it always hurts.

 

[Hubbleman]

NO. Fuck this this going to be a summer of love and fun. Fuck the bitches

 

[944s2]

I’m very sorry that you had to go through this Hubbleman and people do sometimes think the “ grass is greener” on the other side! but usually it’s not,,,,
Would you want her back,knowing what you know now?

 

[shithawk420]

That's the best thing to do.go to a pub with your mates or whatever it is you guys do in EU.cant be worse than my situation.i saw my love got arrested and sent to prison and there was nothing I could do.i wrote her and she won't even write me back.whatever I guess.

Wow.i just read moose eaters post and as always he gives a nice pearl of wisdom.that was great advice and I'm glad your still here moose.im gonna read that again later

 

[Hubbleman]

...

 

[shithawk420]

Dificult question. There asre lots of ins and outs..

But i gurantee the bitch will crawl back after all the trouble in my life is over

unfortunately she didnt see the difficulties i am facing, but when the time comes it will be too late

So what you gonna do,take her back? It sounds like a toxic relationship and I can gauranntee she's cheating.cut your losses mate.im guilty too of being in love with someone who don't love me.you take her back it will be a big mistake

 

[CosmicGiggle]

Sorry for your loss/learning experience Hubbleman. I had a friend in your situation and I gave him one of my little love bug pups for something to love that would love him back, unconditionally

He worked that situation and used that dog as bait to successfully attract women, lots of women in fact.

Best of luck in your recovery, if you have an open heart, love will sneak in and stay.

 

[shithawk420]

To quote Lahey in countdown to liquor day,be careful who you love.i wish I was as smart as I am now when I was 20.my heart is so broken I don't have much of a heart to give.but I'm a special case.im gonna write a book one day.

 

[f-e]

Today i found out that her best male buddy was spreading lies about me, nasty lies. And that was partly why she shlep with the other guy.

Yeah... you realise she's sleeping with him too right. If there is even another man in the picture.

 

[shithawk420]

Yeah... you realise she's sleeping with him too right. If there is even another man in the picture.

Nail on head.i can gauranntee it.