House caught fire

[shithawk420]

Oh yeah.ive studied Ninjutsu for 20 years.im still not walking in this weather.Lol.but yeah I am the closest thing to a ninja.if anyone is curious I CAN teach you real ninjutsu.Steven Hayes is a joke.and no offense Gypsy but so was Frank Dukes.NOBODY KNOWES DIM MAK!

 

[moose eater]

Not saying he has a right to put hands on you hawk. But in the real world, if a dog has bit me before, right or wrong, I'm not sticking my hand back in the kennel. Stop putting your hand back in the kennel if desiring not to get bit. You already know the dog bites.

It's absolutely your choice to stay where you are. But you also know the past patterns and likely future outcomes. Choices.

 

[shithawk420]

I understand you moose.but he's a nut.im the nice guy.but until I get my house done I'm stuck here.unless I wanna stay at pads.thank God I didn't cause I was fucked up enough I bought 80 bucks worth of booze and cigars.im so grateful I don't do cigarettes and drugs besides alcohol.but I'm saying right now.a lesser man would be dead.at least give me that.and once again thank you moose.we may have made mistakes but we try

 

[right]

Sorry to hear that your having trouble , many one of these agency's could get you a motel voucher

 

[shithawk420]

Thank you for the thought right.but what I tried to explain is they don't have these programs by me.im literally in bumfuck egypt.ill even tell you guys what county I'm in.i wish I could go to a motel.things wouldn't be so bad except my dad stole my money for beer.and he beats me up.you wanna know the BEST PART!!!?? The punk cops don't like me so I go to jail cause it's a small and everyone knows my dad.ive had it.just kill me and be done already

 

[right]

Shit Shithawk man I'm sorry to here that on thanksgiving . My dad was kinda mean too . Hang in there.

 

[shithawk420]

Thanks right.i just gotta make it to next week in theory.he can beat me but he can't kill me.hes not good enough.speaking of Thanksgiving I drank bear and got hit in the face no fucking food.happy fucking holidays!

 

[shithawk420]

But hey,the bears won! Didn't see the falcons Saints game though

 

[moose eater]

hawk, I get some of what you're saying. What makes no logical sense to me is your continuing to justify your compromising of yourself by stating your dad's a nut.

Your dad may well be a nut. What's that got to do with your making decisions that compromise your safety or being? Plotting violence, staying in a fucked up circle, and more.

I'm glad you didn't retaliate. But consider how much of YOUR power you're giving away when you continue to maintain the same-old-same-old and justify any of it by focusing on your dad's actions. You're giving away -your- mojo for free.

But it seems you've talked yourself into believing that is where you need to be. That's your choice, too. And may or may not work out in the end. I hope it does.

 

[shithawk420]

Hey sorry guyx.i could Google but how do you if you have pneumonia? It's cold and damp S shit.plu a I've been caughin up black shit in my sleep.normamally I wouldn't care but I've go stuff to do.if anyo saw trailer park boys fuck off I got work too do! Cyrus is is a dick

 

[dufous]

You would have a high fever. Your lips and fingernails would turn blue.

 

[OkThen]

sorry to hear about your problems. I suggest getting out of there as soon as the wind dies down, If your sick get to a hospital. If you don't have somewhere safe in the area, get somewhere warm and don't look back. The house can be replaced,

 

[shithawk420]

hawk, I get some of what you're saying. What makes no logical sense to me is your continuing to justify your compromising of yourself by stating your dad's a nut.

Your dad may well be a nut. What's that got to do with your making decisions that compromise your safety or being? Plotting violence, staying in a fucked up circle, and more.

I'm glad you didn't retaliate. But consider how much of YOUR power you're giving away when you continue to maintain the same-old-same-old and justify any of it by focusing on your dad's actions. You're giving away -your- mojo for free.

But it seems you've talked yourself into believing that is where you need to be. That's your choice, too. And may or may not work out in the end. I hope it does.

I know what your saying moose.but I have to kiss his ass or I won't get my roof or House done.i don't have money to pay for anyone else.and he knows it.dont people understand the word poor? I am poorer than poor.not one same cent to my name.and I'm on felony probation.i am fucked beyond fucked.where am I gonna go? Pads? Some asshole will piss me off and I'll definitely go to prison.like I said live by the sword.its over for me.

 

[flylowgethigh]

I am saddened that you are not in a better place now - from a few days ago it sounded like you were. Hang tough but get the F out. There are a ton of people that need help (ie work) but NOBODY wants problems. Bad time of year, but I bet farmers and snow crews need labor and have a shack to stay in.

You seem to have internet access - Go Fund Me Please page? I'll help, but you NEED to help yourself first and staying there isn't it from what you have said.

Good Luck.

 

[moose eater]

I know what your saying moose.but I have to kiss his ass or I won't get my roof or House done.i don't have money to pay for anyone else.and he knows it.dont people understand the word poor? I am poorer than poor.not one same cent to my name.and I'm on felony probation.i am fucked beyond fucked.where am I gonna go? Pads? Some asshole will piss me off and I'll definitely go to prison.like I said live by the sword.its over for me.

Sounds like self-discipline is a major component in your battles right now, hawk.

I've crossed the continent, under-age, with all of .35 cents in my pocket, a jar of peanut butter, and a loaf of bread, with a dog on a leash, long ago. You've had money for booze and cigars, if I read you correctly.

'Will' means finding a way.

As the poster above pointed out, there's menial labor positions available elsewhere, and as others have noted, shelters or other options for homelessness and getting re-established. And no, many of them aren't ideal. And yes, most will have expectations for your conduct, including not being drunk or violent, or rude.

Popping someone in the mouth for saying shit you don't like is an admission that the difference between you and your pop may not be as broad as you wish; controlling your actions and reactions is a part of ANY workable situation at home or elsewhere, even if you lived in a cave and only encountered people on town trips for grub.

We can be a difficult species to tolerate at times, but the alternative is self-forfeiture, as often as not. Have you forfeited enough yet? Tired of your actions and reactions making you into your own enemy?

In the end, it seems to me that in your own way, you suffer from what many of us human beings suffer from; the comfort often found in familiarity, even if the more familiar setting sucks, it has some components of comfort in being more or less predictable.

If that's the case, OK, but you're the one keeping yourself there.

Staying in the flame, and continuing to express your angst about things getting hot, or getting burned, loses its potency when the person complaining continues to be the one making themselves vulnerable to the experience.

I don't say that with harshness or excess guilt intended. I say that as a matter of your empowerment. You have what you need. You just need to decide what matters.

 

[shithawk420]

I've told my mom that I need a go fund me.i told her to take me to churches but I can't do it by myself! The closest town that might help me is 30 miles.my town where my house is,they wouldn't even piss on me if I was on fire.my mom won't help me cause she's mentally ill.she too embarrassed to ask for help.shes spoiled.her family had money.she never had to work.im litterally begging for help.my organs are failing.i ask for work but nobody wants to hire a little man who can't stop puking cause my organs are failing.i don't even know how I'm still alive.ive asked everyone and resource I can think of.but everyone left me for dead.the materials are at my house but I can't get there no car.my dad says he'll help but he's too drunk and high and wants to hurt me.wtf am I supposed to go? I can barely fucking walk.my organs are fucking done.

 

[moose eater]

Got a thumb still, hawk? A backpack? warm clothes? That was how I first left at age 13. Strangers took me when I hailed them with a short stumpy digit..

Granted, times have changed, and there's a lot less trust in the world it seems, as compared to 1972, but there's still folks out there. Stay sober enough to try and read folks' intentions, and there's a way.

A gift to me by being with crazy people since before my birth, then dealing dope, then working mental health. I learned to read folks pretty darned well. Gifts and skills can come in strange packages or from strange sources/causes. Everything is Yin & Yang. EVERYTHING.

 

[shithawk420]

I digress.even if I was gonna stay at a pad.how do I get there? I already lied to my probation officer saying the house is livable.im gonna fucking snap.i told my dad and other friend I can pay them.or rather my mom did.they say no,just buy beer.fucking drunk liars! Now the goddamn material is gonna be useless or some methhead is gonna steal it! Wtf am I supposed to do!? My dad is purpusly making me stay away from my house so I can't work on it.your not understanding.HE IS A PSHYCOPATH! 17 YEARS IN PRISON FUCKED HIM UP! IF HE HITS ME I CANT EVEN CALL THE COPS CAUSE ILL GO TO JAIL! IM JUST GONNA TAKE MORE PILLS.im sorry but your not understanding that I'm his prisoner

 

[shithawk420]

Got a thumb still, hawk? A backpack? warm clothes? That was how I first left at age 13. Strangers took me when I hailed them with a short stumpy digit..

Granted, times have changed, and there's a lot less trust in the world it seems, as compared to 1972, but there's still folks out there. Stay sober enough to try and read folks' intentions, and there's a way.

A gift to me by being with crazy people since before my birth, then dealing dope, then working mental health. I learned to read folks pretty darned well. Gifts and skills can come in strange packages or from strange sources/causes. Everything is Yin & Yang. EVERYTHING.

I hear you moose.but everything changes when your on felony probation.id leave in a heartbeat but if I just take off I'll have a warrant and go to prison.im not prison material

 

[moose eater]

Many potential answers already given, and you want to continue complaining about your dad, rather than changing your own channel.

You can tantrum all day, every day, and your mother and father are still going to be who they choose to be. Time for you to choose who YOU'RE going to be. It's a bit late in life to continue testing them to see if they'll be the parents you always wanted them to be.

It's sad when we grow up without the guidance or mentors we wish we'd had, and the hollowness that can leave, but you're into your later 30s now, if I recall, 'hawk. The only real parent you're going to rely on now, is yourself. There are mentors out there, but they're not often found in fist-fights with dad, unreturned cries for help from mom, or in a bottle of alcohol.

Your P.O., if aware of the need to leave, would likely support a shelter or constructive relocation effort, for the right purpose and circumstances.

Or you can plead helplessness, and wait to see if your mom or dad evolves.

Which do you think is more realistic at this time?