Happy World Bi-Polar Day March 30th

[Zeta Reticuli]

Mine problem is if i found that something is interesting for me i can become genius in that area,
but stuff that i dont found interesting like learning a French language in school where i learned French
for 9 years i hardly know today just a few words and what they means.

English i never learned in school,but looking at movies and listening songs in English was help me to
get this language.

 

[CharlesU Farley]

If society would have treated us as if we have a gift instead of a disease, it would have worked out way better. They always wanted me to be like the 'other' kids. Fuck those kids. They go in slow motion. LOL

Small wonder I was bored in school. It's not that I was smarter than the other kids. I just did everything a lot faster. I can remember in high school English Lit class reading Huckleberry Finn. The teacher would say, "Class, for tonight's homework read pages 13 through 22".

WTF!!!!! I read the entire book in 3 hours and from then on, class bored me.

This is so funny, I might actually post a picture of it..... I have every school report card from Kindergarten through college. On my second grade report card, I got an "Unsatisfactory" in behavior. In the margin of the report card the teacher wrote, "Won't stop talking in class". LMAO No shit, lady. I'm fucking MANIC!!! LOL

They should have put us in a special class where we could excel at our own rate instead of being held back by the other kids.

The most sad part is, if a kid is manic today, they drug the shit out of them until they are shitass stupid. I weep for the future.

Kudos to all of us who have this terrible disease and have tolerated those who do not. LOL

I could have written _exactly_ what you just now did... we are kindred spirits!

Here's the report card that indicated I might have had some issues as a kid:

I was bored to death, liked to make people laugh, and didn't have a whole lot of self-restraint, obviously.

The D minus with a red 4 in conduct in Math was because I walked past the teacher, who was exceedingly flat-chested, and said, "I think I'm allergic to foam rubber, is that what those falsies are made of?" Then I started fake sneezing.

Quick visit to the principal's office on that one.

 

[Putembk]

@ Charles......That's just who I am and how I express myself, quite matter of fact, I meant no disrespect.

Then please continue to post on the O'l Farts thread....we respect you.

 

[Putembk]

@ Subby, where are your gloves? Don't tell me you trim wet with out gloves.

 

[drosera420]

Hey guys, the wife was finally diagnosed about 10 years ago with BP amongst a couple other things. Man that explained alot of her... particulars. It finally took a super manic phase and a 5150 that turned into two weeks of intense work with a competent Dr. That episode scared the crap out of both of us but she finally could see a bit clearer. It's a tough road to hoe and takes care and understanding on all sides.

I didn't see anything out of line in the threads CharlesU Farley. Sounds like Putembk didn't either, and I'd wager if others did they just need to put their big girl britches on.

 

[I Care]

I was able to identify bipolar around 14 years ago. Based on the description of being unreasonably depressed regardless of nothing bad happening or anything to be upset about. Like some thing I couldn’t turn off and fake it. As I get older I realize it’s not very uncommon for people. After you learn about it it’s easier to identify the difference between being upset about something or being upset about nothing.

 

[EnjoyingLife]

I'm one of those exceedingly lucky fuckers.

I have manic runs, where I get a whole shitload of stuff accomplished and drill down into unbelievable detail. But I never have the depressive side of it. I get angry and pissed off of course, but it's never a poor me, life is so unfair bullshit. But I'm definitely down for celebrating a World Bipolar Day.

Some may characterize my actions as obsession... I prefer the term passion.

For me mind set and diet have a lot to do with my bi polar ups and downs but I seem to go manic these days before depressed thankfully. I spent a lot of time in my teenage years on the depressed side so I'm glad they are past.
Totally relate to "Some may characterize my actions as obsession... I prefer the term passion."

 

[shithawk420]

If society would have treated us as if we have a gift instead of a disease, it would have worked out way better. They always wanted me to be like the 'other' kids. Fuck those kids. They go in slow motion. LOL

Small wonder I was bored in school. It's not that I was smarter than the other kids. I just did everything a lot faster. I can remember in high school English Lit class reading Huckleberry Finn. The teacher would say, "Class, for tonight's homework read pages 13 through 22".

WTF!!!!! I read the entire book in 3 hours and from then on, class bored me.

This is so funny, I might actually post a picture of it..... I have every school report card from Kindergarten through college. On my second grade report card, I got an "Unsatisfactory" in behavior. In the margin of the report card the teacher wrote, "Won't stop talking in class". LMAO No shit, lady. I'm fucking MANIC!!! LOL

They should have put us in a special class where we could excel at our own rate instead of being held back by the other kids.

The most sad part is, if a kid is manic today, they drug the shit out of them until they are shitass stupid. I weep for the future.

Kudos to all of us who have this terrible disease and have tolerated those who do not. LOL

Holy shit! Not many people can say they still have their report card from K to college! Post it up man!

 

[EnjoyingLife]

I understand how polarizing I can be.

But I'm also a sensitive/empath type, so I pick up on vibes and don't like to rock the boat and make others seasick.

Agree 100%
I also am empathic but blocked it many years back. I am working on turning it back on. I have always been empathic and compassionate towards my mom and whatever female I have in my life at the moment but past that I am working on it. It's not easy =[
Something that confuses my girlfriend is just how loving, understanding, compassionate etc I can be towards her and my mom but seem incapable when it comes to others.
That and the fact that I dont really pick up on social queues. Fucking oblivious to them.
Wait, what, they aren't interested in my long winded explanation that could have been a max of like ten words but turned into five paragraphs?
Shes also forever telling me to stop flirting with the waitress....
Not out of jealousy. She's not that type thankfully. I have figured out that I am to flirtatious (mostly w/o trying) to be with jealous women. Causes more strife than its worth.
Funny thing here is I am without trying and then when/if they flirt back I dont notice....
Made for some interesting courtship in middle and highschool.
It eventually turned into are we fucking or not, just to simplify things...

 

[EnjoyingLife]

If society would have treated us as if we have a gift instead of a disease, it would have worked out way better. They always wanted me to be like the 'other' kids. Fuck those kids. They go in slow motion. LOL

Small wonder I was bored in school. It's not that I was smarter than the other kids. I just did everything a lot faster. I can remember in high school English Lit class reading Huckleberry Finn. The teacher would say, "Class, for tonight's homework read pages 13 through 22".

WTF!!!!! I read the entire book in 3 hours and from then on, class bored me.

This is so funny, I might actually post a picture of it..... I have every school report card from Kindergarten through college. On my second grade report card, I got an "Unsatisfactory" in behavior. In the margin of the report card the teacher wrote, "Won't stop talking in class". LMAO No shit, lady. I'm fucking MANIC!!! LOL

They should have put us in a special class where we could excel at our own rate instead of being held back by the other kids.

The most sad part is, if a kid is manic today, they drug the shit out of them until they are shitass stupid. I weep for the future.

Kudos to all of us who have this terrible disease and have tolerated those who do not. LOL

This was me in school too.
Bored af causing trouble.
I did get drugged but stopped taking them the day I woke up and I didn't recognise myself in the mirror.
After that it took some years because of the person I was at the time but I did eventually decide it was better for me and those who had to live with me to be a better person and work on my shit.
I'm not perfect but I am not looking for perfection in this area - not sure my brain chemistry will allow it. But does that statement stop me from achieving it? maybe....
My morning mantra for awhile was don't be an asshole today.
Was forever pissing people off for no other reason than I was angry and everyone else around me should be too.

 

[EnjoyingLife]

Must admit its nice seeing I am not the only one with these characteristics.

 

[shithawk420]

been diagnosed and undiagnosed with stuff. I can say for sure weed made me do a 180 and completely changed me for the better around 14. i was already gifted but weed made me want to learn again. and than alcohol fucked me up and now im at square one again.. been laying off the booze for a while. hope that will reset me again

 

[EnjoyingLife]

been diagnosed and undiagnosed with stuff. I can say for sure weed made me do a 180 and completely changed me for the better around 14. i was already gifted but weed made me want to learn again. and than alcohol fucked me up and now im at square one again.. been laying off the booze for a while. hope that will reset me again

Weed kinda fucked me up when I was younger but I think it was more just the toxic person I was and the unwillingness to change. That and the fact I just wanted to be high if I was awake - escaping what I saw as shitty circumstances. Mostly coke, weed and x but I dabbled with pills - the pain killers made me itch or nauseous so that was short lived but I was drinking a pint and eating four bars so I could sleep back in my coke days.
I drink more than I'd like to but I'm starting to slow down and I smoke weed. Some occasional ayahuasca and mushies - not together, not sure that'd be a fun ride for me plus I don't use either recreationally.
You may want to try mushies or aya, I find they help get me back on course.

 

[shithawk420]

Weed kinda fucked me up when I was younger but I think it was more just the toxic person I was and the unwillingness to change. That and the fact I just wanted to be high if I was awake - escaping what I saw as shitty circumstances. Mostly coke, weed and x but I dabbled with pills - the pain killers made me itch or nauseous so that was short lived but I was drinking a pint and eating four bars so I could sleep back in my coke days.
I drink more than I'd like to but I'm starting to slow down and I smoke weed. Some occasional ayahuasca and mushies - not together, not sure that'd be a fun ride for me plus I don't use either recreationally.
You may want to try mushies or aya, I find they help get me back on course.

i was drinking 20 beers and sometimes liquor every day. quit somewhere around a month ago. Besides jail ive never gone this long in my 23 years of heavy drinking. figured id die first.

ive i could get mushrooms i would. thought about spores from online but no idea if those work or not

 

[shithawk420]

i was drinking 20 beers and sometimes liquor every day. quit somewhere around a month ago. Besides jail ive never gone this long in my 23 years of heavy drinking. figured id die first.

if i could get mushrooms i would. thought about spores from online but no idea if those work or not

 

[Ringodoggie]

Self-medicating is super common for manics. Something to do with R1 and R2 receptors, if I'm not mistaken. We spend much of our lives chasing drugs and alcohol. I did all of it. And, all of it too much. But, my big one was actually alcohol. Really fucked up my life. Weed is cool but it's really just another dead end for me. I smoke 10 to 20 joints a day plus hash, edibles, blah, blah. I don't even get high any more it's just maintenance. I wish I could quit but I can't.

To be honest, when I awake in an anxiety attack. or, those days when thoughts of hate and killing just won't leave me alone. When the mind races like a white water river........ I think about my plants. I think ahead to the next 'cannabis task' on my list. How long until my next harvest. What strain is next. How many days until this or that. It's really the only peace in my life. I worry that some day that will also be gone. Then, I'll have no peace.

But, today is not that day.

 

[pop_rocks]

I could have written _exactly_ what you just now did... we are kindred spirits!

Here's the report card that indicated I might have had some issues as a kid:

View attachment 18981756

I was bored to death, liked to make people laugh, and didn't have a whole lot of self-restraint, obviously.

The D minus with a red 4 in conduct in Math was because I walked past the teacher, who was exceedingly flat-chested, and said, "I think I'm allergic to foam rubber, is that what those falsies are made of?" Then I started fake sneezing.

Quick visit to the principal's office on that one.

this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you

 

[EnjoyingLife]

i was drinking 20 beers and sometimes liquor every day. quit somewhere around a month ago. Besides jail ive never gone this long in my 23 years of heavy drinking. figured id die first.

ive i could get mushrooms i would. thought about spores from online but no idea if those work or not

Shit.
I drank a lot as a teenager but not these days. I drink 3 or 4 times a week but it's like a beer(nothing less than 8 percent tastes good to me), a glass or two of wine or a couple shots like 5. I'd rather smoke than drink and my tolerance is high so it gets expensive. As a teen I'd start with like half a fifth and see where I was. Another thing I have to watch out for when I drink is I hit a point where my decision making gets skewed and it turns into ten more drinks.
Spore wise I'd say go for it. I've never bought any but I'm pretty sure there's a thread on this site talking about them. I've also heard a few people who got the grow kits and started growing their own on a rather large scale. Apparently it's pretty easy to inoculate a substrate of your choice and get a nice return.

 

[CharlesU Farley]

this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you

You can take a lick or get suspended for 3 days... that was an easy choice! My old man could hit harder than any assistant principal.

As you can tell from the report cards, that happened frequently..

 

[CharlesU Farley]

Self-medicating is super common for manics. Something to do with R1 and R2 receptors, if I'm not mistaken. We spend much of our lives chasing drugs and alcohol. I did all of it. And, all of it too much. But, my big one was actually alcohol. Really fucked up my life. Weed is cool but it's really just another dead end for me. I smoke 10 to 20 joints a day plus hash, edibles, blah, blah. I don't even get high any more it's just maintenance. I wish I could quit but I can't.

Right there with you with a self medication, although the alcohol was going to kill me so I had to find a compromise. When you have a grandfather, father, and brother all die of alcoholic liver disease, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out you're probably heading down that same path.

For me, the compromise was only drinking alcohol on the major holidays, and no Tuesday is not a major holiday. 7-8 times a year, I cut loose, get a quart of vodka and have a great weekend.

But after that it stops... completely. The January through late May dry spell is a long one, but the summer sure is nice.

Cannabis is a different thing, have used that to self-medicate since the '70s. 6 years ago I thought I had throat cancer, and being a respiratory therapist, I knew what that would entail with radiation / chemo. Didn't want to be coughing and hacking with the sarcophagus like lead mask over my face, so decided to go all edibles, all the time. I ingest four grams of decarbed cannabis, four times a day, everyday, every week, every year since. Came back from seeing my newest granddaughter and hadn't vaped in 3+ months, loaded up a big bowl of BHO, took four or five massive long bulgers, couldn't tell the difference.

I haven't vaped / smoked since.

I think it's safe to say that my endo cannabinoid system is totally saturated, and has been that way for a very long time now. But that doesn't bother me in the least, because now my lungs are in a whole lot better shape.

But I have _no_ desire to quit, it's what's keeping me where I am now and that is a very, very good place. And yes I realize how lucky / fortunate I am.

To be honest, when I awake in an anxiety attack. or, those days when thoughts of hate and killing just won't leave me alone. When the mind races like a white water river........ I think about my plants. I think ahead to the next 'cannabis task' on my list. How long until my next harvest. What strain is next. How many days until this or that. It's really the only peace in my life. I worry that some day that will also be gone. Then, I'll have no peace.

But, today is not that day.

Outstanding! That's the best way to look at it. As I learned back in the '70s from Richard Alpert/Baba Ram Das, Just Be Here Now. Don't worry about the future or feel guilty about the past, just realize where you are now and try to make it the best that you possibly can. It won't always be great, but it won't always be terrible either.

Cannabis gardening is one of the foundations of my life and gives me great joy. For me, it's psychotherapy without the mumbo, jumbo bullshit about a absent mother and a abusive father with a shrink asking you, well "Tell me, how does that make you _feel_? Fuck that!

Glad you found that same joy.

Take care of yourself!