gf is beating me up... wtf?

[mowood3479]

Thanks, To all who responded. I got some good advice and have utilized much of it. Still with the gf.. and still have my garden.
but she is getting help (seeing a dr and a therapist)... and in the future if she does lose it again, hopefully I will identify it quick enough to handle the situation appropriately. (wrap her up and hold her down until she comes out of crisis mode).
Also, I went and spent 500 bucks at the whole foods store... since she used to eat only whole foods and switched to cheaper stuff since being with me (because Im cheap and hate buying expensive stuff)... hoping that will make a difference.
anyway, thanks for the advice and kind thoughts. Im just muddling through life trying to figure out the right thing to do... I really have not much of a clue alot of the time... so getting someone else's perspective helps. Especially since I cant really talk about the whole situation with most people.

 

[Hydro-Soil]

Great to hear!

Last time I spent that much... my wife ended up pregnant with my darling 3yr old. All our extra cash goes to food. Heh.

Be nice if life came with an instruction book, eh? Spend a lot of time on yourself and you'll find yourself lonely in a crowd though. Well adjusted is NOT the norm in society today. LOL

Keep us posted.

Stay Safe!

 

[Alone]

You must really love her. I mean, to stay with a girl that has psychotic episodes and focuses them on you. To humble yourself and sacrifice all that makes you a human being and a man, just for her......Just Wow! Thats gotta be love.

 

[midwestHIGHS]

What's funny is people that don't believe how much our daily diet effects us, we are what we eat. Gmo's, preservatives, anti biotics, growth horomones, processed sugars, etc. this is why americans have so many health problems, physically and mentally. I'n the OP's case it's obviously not solely based on diet, but this is a big contributing factor on how we feel and act on daily basis. Therapy is usually needed to help someone in this case, only problem is getting that person to want to go to therapy. Have you tried to get her on the ganj?

Hey try and find other organic grocery stores that take pride in providing locally grown and raised products. Alot of the veggies and fruits at wholefoods are not even organic or local, not only that but they are way overpriced.

I used to shop at whole pay check and have since gave that up, now I buy my organic food at a smaller all natural/organic store with affordable prices.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for ya!

 

[huligun]

I am over 6'2 and 200lbs. I played sports in school under a scholarship at a major university, but I had a woman that was like 5'5 belting me all the time. I told her from day one that I would not lay a hand on her, and for the most part I never have. There have been scuffles while I was driving that she would dive on me and I would put my hand up to stop her. I gave her a bloody nose and she made a thing about it telling everyone I got physical with her. This went on for a couple years. I talked to her about treatment and gave her every chance I could. I told her that fighting was stupid and one could always outdo the other until one of us was dead or in prison. This chick felt that she had a right to express herself any way she pleased. One day she and I were outside and she threw a cell phone at me. It hit me right above the eye and bled like a stuck pig. I dripped blood everywhere as I went into the house to take a look at it and clean it up. Next thing I know I hear a loud knock on the door. I open it to police. They saw the blood and pushed their way in against my objections. They had a report that someone seen her do this to me and had seen it in the past. The police had probable cause because I was hurt and there was blood everywhere. They put her in cuffs and took her away. Because her daughter was at the scene the assault charge become a felony. An instant no-contact order was issued by the courts. She totally fucked herself and I had nothing to do with it. I tried to help her in the beginning, but she didn't listen, and thought I was a pussy because I didn't stand up for myself. Call me a pussy all day long, but I am not the one that got dragged into jail and put into the system over a temper tantrum. I suggest that you Tell this story to your girl friend and then leave her. Your situation is poison man, run like hell at any expense.

And my advice to you... Get rid of her. She will drag you down and there is no turning back. Once you get it for hitting a woman you are marked for life. Get away from her at any expense. Let her get her felony charge hitting some other guy. You will never change her and she is bound for self destruction.

 

[yortbogey]

Thanks, To all who responded. I got some good advice and have utilized much of it. Still with the gf.. and still have my garden.
but she is getting help (seeing a dr and a therapist)... and in the future if she does lose it again, hopefully I will identify it quick enough to handle the situation appropriately. (wrap her up and hold her down until she comes out of crisis mode).
Also, I went and spent 500 bucks at the whole foods store... since she used to eat only whole foods and switched to cheaper stuff since being with me (because Im cheap and hate buying expensive stuff)... hoping that will make a difference.
anyway, thanks for the advice and kind thoughts. Im just muddling through life trying to figure out the right thing to do... I really have not much of a clue alot of the time... so getting someone else's perspective helps. Especially since I cant really talk about the whole situation with most people.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

BIGGER~MAN right there...
way bigger than most of the sock-puppets 'round hear...

 

[Max Bloom]

I am over 6'2 and 200lbs. I played sports in school under a scholarship at a major university, but I had a woman that was like 5'5 belting me all the time. I told her from day one that I would not lay a hand on her, and for the most part I never have. There have been scuffles while I was driving that she would dive on me and I would put my hand up to stop her. I gave her a bloody nose and she made a thing about it telling everyone I got physical with her. This went on for a couple years. I talked to her about treatment and gave her every chance I could. I told her that fighting was stupid and one could always outdo the other until one of us was dead or in prison. This chick felt that she had a right to express herself any way she pleased. One day she and I were outside and she threw a cell phone at me. It hit me right above the eye and bled like a stuck pig. I dripped blood everywhere as I went into the house to take a look at it and clean it up. Next thing I know I hear a loud knock on the door. I open it to police. They saw the blood and pushed their way in against my objections. They had a report that someone seen her do this to me and had seen it in the past. The police had probable cause because I was hurt and there was blood everywhere. They put her in cuffs and took her away. Because her daughter was at the scene the assault charge become a felony. An instant no-contact order was issued by the courts. She totally fucked herself and I had nothing to do with it. I tried to help her in the beginning, but she didn't listen, and thought I was a pussy because I didn't stand up for myself. Call me a pussy all day long, but I am not the one that got dragged into jail and put into the system over a temper tantrum. I suggest that you Tell this story to your girl friend and then leave her. Your situation is poison man, run like hell at any expense.

And my advice to you... Get rid of her. She will drag you down and there is no turning back. Once you get it for hitting a woman you are marked for life. Get away from her at any expense. Let her get her felony charge hitting some other guy. You will never change her and she is bound for self destruction.

Reminds me of the proverb, "A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own".

To be the OP: You can't say you haven't been warned.

 

[Max Bloom]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

BIGGER~MAN right there...
way bigger than most of the sock-puppets 'round hear...

I wonder if the situation had been reversed would you feel the same way?

Would sticking around with an abusive boyfriend make her a "bigger woman"?

 

[huligun]

I wonder if the situation had been reversed would you feel the same way?

Would sticking around with an abusive boyfriend make her a "bigger woman"?

Thanks... I didn't want to get into with a big talking judgmental mod that thinks his way of thinking is the only one.

 

[Hydro-Soil]

I feel sorry for most couples. They seem to be in this constant battle between each other... battle of a lifetime or some crap.

You're supposed to be on the same team. Duh!

It doesn't sound like the OP got involved with some whacked chick. Sounds like this is all new. You folks ready to up and scat at the drop of a hat are losing out.

No, it never should have escalated into violence... the kid doesn't have a manual on life though... remember?

Keep in mind that the general mind set about women has become overwhelmed with behaviors aggravated by foods and a truly whacked society. Well adjusted, intelligent women are awesome... good luck finding one.

I took the best material I could find available and grew my own. *shrug* 10 years later... I wouldn't trade her for the world. LOL Worth every minute we've spent working together... can't get that out of a cracker jack box.

Stay Safe!

 

[POLISH WALRUS]

Isnt this debate like peein on a wildfire? Plants........abusive relationship? Equals success for sure???????Question is whats the deal breaker ,jail,hospital or worse? Love is an action word not a description of pecker parking spot. How does any of this debate fit into the reality of herb gardens and proper ettiquet ? Choose between hobby and woman .........in your case they dont mix and to wait until dire consequences arrive is just Darwinism,,,,,,,,,,,

 

[TribalSeeds]

Give her a good slap with your dick right across the face next time shes giving you head then bust your nut in her eye. That always teaches them a lesson

 

[FRIENDinDEED]

Thanks, To all who responded. I got some good advice and have utilized much of it. Still with the gf.. and still have my garden.
but she is getting help (seeing a dr and a therapist)... and in the future if she does lose it again, hopefully I will identify it quick enough to handle the situation appropriately. (wrap her up and hold her down until she comes out of crisis mode).
Also, I went and spent 500 bucks at the whole foods store... since she used to eat only whole foods and switched to cheaper stuff since being with me (because Im cheap and hate buying expensive stuff)... hoping that will make a difference.
anyway, thanks for the advice and kind thoughts. Im just muddling through life trying to figure out the right thing to do... I really have not much of a clue alot of the time... so getting someone else's perspective helps. Especially since I cant really talk about the whole situation with most people.

only you know what you are really going through. I was going to suggest the holding thing since that's what I would do. its obvous you love her and she grows with you so no real need to move or anything like that, from what ive read of what you posted that is not something that "has" to be an option.

cats like haligun are the kind of story that most cats are willing to go through not because the chick had problems but because she was stupid and even he can admit he got lucky BUT even he can tell you that he could have run a long time ago and saw some signs earlier on, but men and women are different and do things for our own reasons. only reason he bled the way he did is because of capillary action. getting a cut on a vein could be easy to stop since its just one, getting cut above the eye (head/face area) where there are millions of veins (venuoles/arterioles/capillaries) so your not gonna stop it that easily and to those who don't really know (the cops) its gonna seem a whole lot worse since it takes forever for that type of bleeding to stop

a chick hitting me is something that I don't worry about. martial arts training, mma training, nursing student (tons of human anatomy/physiology knowledge) pretty much sums up to me being the type of person that has to be absolutely be sure that im going to defend myself and you have to know what your dealing with do I have to maime you? do I have to stop you? can I just put you in a hold until you calm down?. your gf is not one of those dangerous ppl that you just walk out on. you could tell from the responses who's really in love/ and who wasn't, who's selfish and who isn't.

that lil girl doesn't need to see any of that happen that way. its one thing to see the violence BUT if she were to see you just walk away then you'd be even more of a coward to her than ever and she would never forget you for that. she sees that mom has a problem and sees that your trying to help then that's positive and remember DONT LEAVE THAT LIL GIRL OUT OF THINGS!!!!! SHE HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY ALL OF THIS TOO!!!! MAKE SURE SHE SEES SOMEONE AND HAS SOMEONE TO TALK TO AS WELL!!! DONT JUST ASSUME SHES OK AND SHE JUST GOING TO FORGET IT ALL BECAUSE SHES LITTLE!!!

that's how families stick together and grow stronger, not by running away. being in America and realizing that these people are going to sell you whatever they want should be enough for anyone to understand that YES it could very well be the damned food!!!!! last bio 102 prof. had told us that 10yrs ago we were introduced to 500 different chemicals a day, studies show now that its up to 5000 a day and how do you think that happens?!?

you did the right thing, stick with it and be a man about it by not just running if thast not what your situation dictates you do, and yeah, you do have to think with your heart as hard as that is for guys to do at times. shit starts just grad her and remind her of what she got going on (you guys relationship, the lil girl, the home, the life), stick with it don't just run! I ran from my first marriage and its the worst thing in the world to do. yes you feel at a loss/ you don't know what to do/whats going to happen next, yeah i get that I was there too. control your situation! your not dealing with some moron/jerk/idiot. YOU know who your dealing with

 

[huligun]

If she hits you in front of a minor it is a felony. Keep that in mind. It will absolutely ruin her life. You don't have to call the cops, there are plenty of people out there that have 911 on speed dial.

 

[yortbogey]

I wonder if the situation had been reversed would you feel the same way?

Would sticking around with an abusive boyfriend make her a "bigger woman"?

U dont get it....it's no longer about him or her... its about the KIDS
and whats best for them.... and that is a functioning mom and dad family...

 

[Max Bloom]

U dont get it....it's no longer about him or her... its about the KIDS
and whats best for them.... and that is a functioning mom and dad family...

I don't even know where to start... Ok, three things:

First of all, it's her daughter, not his. Her, her family, and the state will have to deal with that issue.

Second, you have yet to address the double standard that you're applying to the situation. Why are you excusing her behavior when that same behavior would land a man in jail?

Third, and most pertinent to this forum, is the immense risk the OP is taking by entrusting his grow op to someone who is obviously unstable.

No one here has made a single logical argument in favor of maintaining this toxic relationship.

 

[TURBD]

My relationship makes this look like a joke.
I have been pushed down stairs, beat with a vacuum while holding my 1yr old son.
Last time she was punching me in the face I lost it and grabbed her arm and started ramming her fist / head butting her hand and told her to fucking hit me good like this. While I laughed.
That wasn't to smart as I had quite a bit of swelling and black eyes. But since then she hasn't hit me again. Her hand was fucked for a week.
Yea yea yea. Leave her everyone says. I have 2 kids with her and her dad is a x cop who when I leave her as I have before. She no longer let's me see my kids. Brain washes them and tells them I don't love them. Threatens to call the cops on me when I was doing well before I was licenced.
So I know I will never truly be happy. Sacrifice myself so my kids have at least 1 semi stable parent who can teach them the many things I have spent my life learning. Instead of moving out and careing only about myself and the next slut I would be banging.
I know. Stupid. I love sluts and having fun. Love my kids more though unfortunately for me.

If you have kids with her that are yours try to work it out.
If not the no need to play captin save a hoe comment is best.

 

[RB56]

The OP told us a little about his situation and asked for advice based on what he chose to share. Advice was offered and he chose a course of action - possibly informed by the advice he got from us.

Almost everything else is speculation. If this is a long term, previously stable relationship, it may very well be the right thing to try to fix the problem. I certainly think less of people who bail because of illness. We don't know and shouldn't expect to. Everything may be back on track. Hope it is.

 

[mowood3479]

Thanks again to ALL who responded: Hulligan, Max Bloom, YOrt, Hydro SOil, RB56,
The gf is getting better... she knows she needs help atm and is getting it.
Im trying to change the way I do somethings also.. its not ALL on her..

I have spoken with her family and an ex bf she was with for a long time.. and up until a few months ago she has for the most part led a fairly high achieving good life.. This is the first time in her life she has had to deal with real mental illness...
So im hoping we can get things back on track... if not I will chop things down, hop a plane n go play in the sierras for awhile...
I have moved all the firearms out of the house..
I outwiegh her by 85lbs.. (besides throwing cell phones) she cant do much real damage unless I let her)... which I will not do again.
IDK mayb im wrong to try to make it work... its just that when she isnt in "crisis" mode she is really lovely.. I didnt see any "crisis" mode for the first ten months I was with her.. and since its first appearance it had steadily gotten more frequent until last week she started throwing blows.. (no crisis mode in the last week though) so thats good.
She is taking actions to get a handle on herself.. so she can be a good mom and gf.. Im proud of her for this.. changing yourself isnt easy I know.
Anyway, I know I havent disseminated a ton of info... and again I could be wrong... but As muddy as the waters are I think im headed in the right direction... but hell ive been wrong before...

 

[Max Bloom]

Good luck, man. I hope it all works out.