Don't tell

[Lord Doobie]

I've been married 20 years...and my wife doesn't know...however, the only reason I never told my wife is because she'd tell her mother....and her mother has a mouth the size of Alaska...biggest blabbermouth I've ever seen...always gossiping about anything and everything...even makes shit up to blabber about...and always embelishing whatever she hears...she once told everybody a friend of mine was smuggling drugs in from Thailand...if you play with fire, you're bound to get burned

 

[GardenCaress]

I agree with Lord Doobie, some people just aren't good at keeping secrets. If your wife is one of those people, I guess that sucks.

Maybe show her a bunch of movies where someone lets one detail slip and the whole shebang unravels and comes crashing down
Or a book would be even better.. any suggestions?

People usually respond well to examples and stories..

 

[golden]

woman keep secret???

GOOD ONE

even ones youve know for 20 years had kids with and thought they were cool as a fan can one day just fucking turn into a different person, hope you never did anything to ever annoy them in the least bit at that point.

 

[Babbabud]

If you dont know her well enough to decide whether to tell her or not how the hell could you be thinking about marriage ? Best to KNOW someone before getting into a life long relationship with them.

 

[sneaky101]

Try watching some movies or news stories about cannabis and see what her reaction is. If she says, "those damn pigs just won't leave people alone they are just self medicating and trying not to use prescription drugs that cause anal leakage or suicidal tendencies", or "pot isn't bad, I don't see why they don't just legalize it and start taxing the hell out of hit" she is probably cool. If she says something like, "they get what they deserve" or "my dad was on drugs and I think anyone who supplies or uses drugs should be in prison, if my dad's dealer was caught he would have never left me and mom".....DON"T TELL HER!

 

[greasehorse]

I think a ladies need for 64 times the verbal and hand signage data as compared to males would not be so helpful in a secret grow. All of that talk and such would be a very possible liability. Women also divulge secrets to each other eventually so if you don't want her friends and relatives to know it, then don't ever say it. Most of the women I have dated were eventually pot negative and stayed on my ass to quit smoking weed. A couple were even cheating on me and using hard drugs behind my back. So, personally, my trust factor is rigid now. The real deal is this...is she worth giving up the operation for. Also, are you ready to give it up. If either of these answers is no, then keep it quiet and stay friends or friends with benefits - but that usually will not last long. If she is looking for a mate then she will eventually move on. There are other things involved also. Is it right to bring someone in your grow location even if they don't know it. A surprise bust will screw them around to no end. I would say that if it is not a legal grow then you will most likely have to give up your relationship with weed or give up your relationship with ladies. The unsecurity and fear factor of having the cops show up is not for most straight folks. It is a criminal act and only suitable for a criminal lady. Or someone with low self esteem or ignorant of the possible end results of the situation. Prison! Front page pics in the local paper, ect...Not many people want to risk that - with good reason...

 

[DoffCocker]

woman keep secret???

GOOD ONE

even ones youve know for 20 years had kids with and thought they were cool as a fan can one day just fucking turn into a different person, hope you never did anything to ever annoy them in the least bit at that point.

your confusing woman with people here imho.

and although you are 100% right, its not a valid reason not to tell someone.

If you dont know her well enough to decide whether to tell her or not how the hell could you be thinking about marriage ? Best to KNOW someone before getting into a life long relationship with them.

Nail on the head.

If id been with someone for more than 6 months or so and felt i coudlnt tell them i grow a bit of weed, id be thinking its time to end that relationship tbh.

Its just weed at the end of the day, fuck living like that.

 

[Centrum]

Don't tell.
It saves you the time of having to kill her later on in the divorce.


Remember I want half Eddie!

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

Best tell no-one...

...even if you marry her.....keep your grow a complete secret, it's your freedom/liberty at stake here....not her's.....

....if the relationship turns sour at any juncture what you do will probably be used against you...

 

[GeorgeSmiley]

I don't have to worry about my wife..... she's the biggest proponent of not telling anyone.... embarrassed I suspect lol She also doesn't want anyone to know that she smokes. I figure with a BS, MBA, and PHD she wouldn't give a fuck what people think lol

 

[DoffCocker]

Best tell no-one...

...even if you marry her.....keep your grow a complete secret, it's your freedom/liberty at stake here....not her's.....

....if the relationship turns sour at any juncture what you do will probably be used against you...

Do you find that works in the real world though gypsy m8?

id get caught out way way before i married her lol, i just dont think im capable of the level of deceit required to hide it that well.

i dont grow at home though, the missus doesnt know where my grow is, but she knows it exists, i suspect most do grow at home though so that option isnt available, your going to have to comprise at some point.

 

[whodi]

think if you grew for a living and she worked a little job, then you got locked up for a while ... then her and your kid(s) find out you grew MJ all that time and now they dont have a way to support themselves so well..

that's why i said make sure she's independent and strong minded if you're gonna hide it.

 

[79towncar]

In my opinion I wouldn't tell her for 2 reasons... Number 1. How a man provides for his family is of no concern to the wife... Just provide and be a good husband and if she asks questions tell her it's none of her concern.. Tell her there are things she can't know and will never know and that is the last time this conversation will ever be talked about..

Number 2. If you tell her, then you are now making her an accessory. Now she could be facing jail time.. Then if there are kids more problems arise.. No benefit comes from telling a wife/girl friend at all.. Altho it is a good idea to inform her if police should ever come to the house asking questions about you to use her right and invoke silence and hand them your attorney's card... She should have an idea that something is going on.. But she should never know exact details ever..

 

[oregon024]

I would tell her letting her know she's getting in your circle no woman has been.And enjoy that sweet stuff you only live once.

 

[thirtyshort]

In my opinion I wouldn't tell her for 2 reasons... Number 1. How a man provides for his family is of no concern to the wife... Just provide and be a good husband and if she asks questions tell her it's none of her concern.. Tell her there are things she can't know and will never know and that is the last time this conversation will ever be talked about..

Number 2. If you tell her, then you are now making her an accessory. Now she could be facing jail time.. Then if there are kids more problems arise.. No benefit comes from telling a wife/girl friend at all.. Altho it is a good idea to inform her if police should ever come to the house asking questions about you to use her right and invoke silence and hand them your attorney's card... She should have an idea that something is going on.. But she should never know exact details ever..

This is exactly what I'm thinking. My father grew for a bit and my mother never knew. Matter of fact I was told never to let her know even if he died, just give her some money from his stash every month so she could live off of. My father has always had a full time regular job as well and he would go as far as cashing his checks and depositing the paycheck in the bank in cash so she wouldn't know what the orginal paycheck amount was or any shit that may be on the check like dates, hours etc. He always told me NEVER EVER TELL A WOMAN but in his case I think it's a bit different because he had/has a regular job and the growing was strictly extra retirement funds but growing is my sole income so for me it's more lying involved.

I think Whodi has a great point with the wife having no job or just soe bullshit job and then one getting busted and now she can barely support herself. I think that is very fucked up kids or not.

For those who say "if you don't know whether or not you should tell you shouldn't be with her" that's way off. I could trust this woman with my life but there are others like her parents or whatever that she trusts just the same and those people trust others and those others trust others and next thing you know half the city knows.

 

[medmaker420]

I have seen too many pissed off and bitter ex's over the years and them MORE THAN HAPPY to rat out the one person in their life they now hate. Women can be fucking evil, sure you feel guilted into telling them everything about you and your life BUT screw them over ever and you will live to regret it.

While things are good, let her know AS LONG AS she is smoking with you. If things become rocky, close up shop until you can locate a safe spot and AWAY from any contact from that crazy lady.

 

[caruso813]

Keep it a secret to keep her safe. My opinion anyway.

 

[johnipedestran]

if you are going to marry her she needs to know

anything short of that keep your mouth shut.

There are women that exist out there that not only puff, but are completely professional with regards to both grow and work life.....

peace
jip

 

[biteme]

mr. 30short-in one post you mentioned you were divorced but after bringing this subject up for discussion with your opening post, you then proceeded to answer the question (correctly, i may add) in each successive post you made. never tell.

but i need to ask; why would you ever consider telling her about your gardening activity? the mere thought of it makes no sense to me. i hope you understand that you offer her the greatest protection from prosecution you can possibly give just by keeping her 100% in the dark? my wife knows everything she needs to know about me, and then some. it took us many, many years to get to this point. but to this day she is still on a need to know basis and it shall stay that way because i do love her and need to keep her in her comfort zone which may be some distance from away from me in various aspects of our lives. peace-biteme

 

[thirtyshort]

I have seen too many pissed off and bitter ex's over the years and them MORE THAN HAPPY to rat out the one person in their life they now hate. Women can be fucking evil, sure you feel guilted into telling them everything about you and your life BUT screw them over ever and you will live to regret it.

While things are good, let her know AS LONG AS she is smoking with you. If things become rocky, close up shop until you can locate a safe spot and AWAY from any contact from that crazy lady.

I was married when I first started growing. She had to know about it because I did it in a building that was on our properrty. I trusted her with my life. I never thought we'd get divorced but we did. Thank god by the time the marriage got rocky I was growing in another location and as soon as I started getting that feeling that she was thinking about divorce I shut down shop and stored all of my equipment. When she brought up the divorce I felt safe as hell.

I think gypsy is right. No tell!!!! I don't lie as it is I just don't tell. I'm going to continue not telling and sleep like a baby.