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DEA warns of stoned rabbits if Utah passes medical marijuana

Stoner4Life

Medicinal Advocate
ICMag Donor
Veteran
I had to verify this so that I wasn't printing someone's gag or parody piece, but it's friggin' real.......


Utah is considering a bill that would allow patients with certain debilitating conditions to be treated with edible forms of marijuana. If the bill passes, the state's wildlife may "cultivate a taste" for the plant, lose their fear of humans, and basically be high all the time. That's according to testimony presented to a Utah Senate panel (time stamp 58:00) last week by an agent of the Drug Enforcement Administration.

"I deal in facts. I deal in science," said special agent Matt Fairbanks, who's been working in the state for a decade. He is member of the "marijuana eradication" team in Utah. Some of his colleagues in Georgia recently achieved notoriety by raiding a retiree's garden and seizing a number of okra plants.

Fairbanks spoke of his time eliminating back-country marijuana grows in the Utah mountains, specifically the environmental costs associated with large-scale weed cultivation on public land: "Personally, I have seen entire mountainsides subjected to pesticides, harmful chemicals, deforestation and erosion," he said. "The ramifications to the flora, the animal life, the contaminated water, are still unknown."

Fairbanks said that at some illegal marijuana grow sites he saw "rabbits that had cultivated a taste for the marijuana. ..." He continued: "One of them refused to leave us, and we took all the marijuana around him, but his natural instincts to run were somehow gone."

It's true that illegal pot farming can have harmful environmental consequences. Of course, nothing about these consequences is unique to marijuana. If corn were outlawed and cartels started growing it in national forests, the per-plant environmental toll would be about the same.

But backcountry marijuana grows are a direct result of marijuana's illegal status. If you're concerned about the environmental impact of these grows, an alternative is to legalize and regulate the plant so that people can grow it on farms and in their gardens, rather than on remote mountainsides.

Now, regarding rabbits. Some wild animals apparently do develop a taste for bud (and, yes, best to keep it away from your pets). But I don't know that the occasional high rabbit constitutes grounds for keeping marijuana prohibition in place, any more than drunk squirrels are an argument for outlawing alcohol. And let's not even get started on the nationwide epidemic of catnip abuse.

There was a time, not too long ago, when drug warriors terrified a nation with images of "the devil's weed" and "reefer madness." Now, it seems that enforcers of marijuana law conjuring up a stoned bunny?

Not scary enough for the Utah Senate, it seems: the panel approved the bill and sent it to the full Senate, where it will be debated this week.



http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs...ned-rabbits-if-utah-passes-medical-marijuana/
 

hush

Señor Member
Veteran
A stoned rabbit is nothing to worry about... Beware instead of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog. It's got a vicious streak a mile wide!

killer_rabbit.jpg
 

waveguide

Active member
Veteran
this has got to be some kind of promotion for a new sitcom. what are you gonna do with a stoned rabbit? well stay tuned, you're gonna find out!

rabbit walks into a butcher store. got any nails?

stoned rabbit fucks everything up. red eyed, never seems to focus on things that are bullshit, like note even trying. just made shit up, and it sort of went from there.

but we're gonna do the stoned rabbit thing. this carefully encrypted headline is the only way we can reach our comrades from zeta woolworth. we must program fear into the animals! we must program fear into the animals!

the state's wildlife may "cultivate a taste" for the plant, lose their fear of humans, and basically be high all the time.

oh if you say so
 

Jhhnn

Active member
Veteran
Beat me to the post.

Fairbanks doesn't know shit, particularly about rabbits. Young rabbits, even wild ones, are easily tamed with food. If you bring a handful of rabbit chow every time you visit the grow, he'll come running at the sound of your feet. He probably couldn't figure out why the agents weren't feeding him like the growers did.

The foolishness over environmental damage is amazing. It happens because cannabis is illegal, but the idea of changing that never entered the guy's head.
 

Green Squall

Well-known member
I saw this on my Weed News App I can't believe this guy is for real. That kind of twisted logic totally blows my mind.
 

Crusader Rabbit

Active member
Veteran
It always is, that when the people who persecute and prosecute us speak out loud, they show themselves to be freaks. Absolute freaks.
 

Jhhnn

Active member
Veteran
I kinda feel sorry for guys like Fairbanks because he's completely sincere. He believes the bullshit. I suppose he'd have to in order to do the job. Hell, he's been more lied to than the rest of us, more heavily indoctrinated than I'd care to imagine.

All of this has to be very hard on their self image.
 

prune

Active member
Veteran
Last winter i took advantage of a warm spell to dump a pile of trim out back, a pile that was soon covered with snow for a month. As the snow melted it revealed a warren of gopher snow tunnels radiating outwards from a now eaten and disappeared pile. I can just imagine the dank parties that went on that winter in gopherville!
 
N

noyd666

go down well with roast spuds. these clowns sure are running like frightened rabbits now, shit they will have to go after illegal stills.
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