do they really have talking blow up dolls ?
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confession thread
- Thread starter hunt4genetics
- Start date
Even the $5 hookers have their limits, apparently.
I guess its not technically a crouch. More of a kneel. Like you are down on one knee to propose. Opens up a whole lot of options.. Such as car door open. Crouched down to "tie my shoes"...
thats just good buisness, you dont have to like somebody to take their cash
med_breeder
Active member
I have never regained any relationship that I have lost. I lose track of people, then find them again, maybe via Facebook etc. After the initial catch up, it fizzles. There are a good 5-7 people from my past that I wish I could so recapture what we had. Or better!
supermans friends played with his account while he was outside and got him banned...supermanlives.. I can guarantee it ...he he .......yeehaw
Well, that's the story and he's sticking too it!
that's a big confession bro, I think it took great courage to say that; the reason I think that is because I've wrestled many years in my mind on how and when to speak those words/thoughts myself.
when I feel that way I'm reminded of what my psychologist told me back in 2005, this isn't meant to sound cold or dismissive of your feelings btw. Richard Draeger told me: "Alone is what you are Peter, loneliness is what you choose to make of it."
Richard knew my mistrust of psychologists, time and time again all of counselors would suddenly say, "I'll be moving on now to a new job, your files have already been turned over to so & so." So in other words, I'd have to lay my life out in the open again after the current one moved on.
Richard was quitting his practice but promised to meet me once a week for lunch and a good chat, and we did; his huge lake home up here is where he lived year around. Four months into his retirement he went down to the Mayo Center for a full physical, I never saw him again, he was diagnosed with phase 4 pancreatic cancer and passed only 3 weeks later.
I won't/can't compare my life to yours but I live alone in northern MN, both of my parents are gone leaving me only a seriously sociopathic sister that I have zero contact with. My cousins live back in NY and we don't talk either, we were close as kids but grew apart as adults eventually, and then finally when I moved up here we seemed to never speak again.
I had a serious fall at work which exacerbated the severe arthritis in my spine, I never recovered from that accident, gone were nights out leaning over a pool table, gone was ever knowing that I'd feel well enough at any given time for perhaps a local cribbage tournament etc
of course with a near zero social life the chance of finding and keeping a girlfriend is negligible, shit!
The only true bright spot in my life is my miniature dachshund Suzi, she's a very loving lap dog and always game to go outside for a romp or a ride in the car, I call her my therapy dog but I don't have her registered as such.
Feel free to reach out Nader, I'm always here, pm me any time.
EDIT:
I just sent you a friend request brother, at the same time I had a look at your other friends and to be perfectly honest you've aligned yourself with some very nice & caring top notch members, regardless of your momentary feelings I believe you've got a good support group aligned already. in fact besides his sick sense of humor your friend Fly by Night is a very caring and thoughtful mensch, I love him like a brother; Mrs.Babba is as sweet as honey. But get ahold of me if you have any qualms about contacting others.
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One big part of the prohibition era growers lifestyle is separation and isolation
I remember kyle kushman saying in 90's, you can't have friends and grow (ironic since this info was in high times)
For me, one big part of me smoking and growing is that the mainstream culture I am part of is very materialistic and shallow. I am not. Smoking helps cushion the mental shock I feel from being different. The paranoia from growing in a hostile legal climate seals the deal as far as disenfranchising oneself from the mainstream.
At some point I found that the pot had opened me back up to humanitarian needs, but I didn't have many people in my life to fulfill them. I started to work on cracking that nut next, and I put my focus on people more like me (grower/heads) than those unlike me.
My world is not so small and empty and these days I get alot more hugs than I did in days past.
Hopefully your need manifests into fulfillment, enough so you can pass some of that good energy down the line.
Thanks for the love, guys. I am blessed to be able to grow cannabis, which is what I truly love.. but that definitely makes things insanely lonely. Starting my 30's feels fucked since I had barely any affection in my 20's. And yeah 8 hugs a day would be nice lol. I've been lucky to get half that many in a month
I love my wife with all my heart, soul and body. I feel as though we are connected when I am miles away. I reach for her warmth constantly. Without her I would be dead now. At least not alive.
I still look at other women. I may have waited too long to marry, but the habit to mingle with women has never left me. I will never act on it, but I am constantly overcome with guilt for thinking of it. God forgive me.
I still look at other women. I may have waited too long to marry, but the habit to mingle with women has never left me. I will never act on it, but I am constantly overcome with guilt for thinking of it. God forgive me.
Yummybud944
Member
I feel so isolated and lonely right now. since finished school and haven't landed a job yet i feel like i'm getting depressed again. I was pretty happy for a while. I feel guilty for sitting around at night watching youtube videos and other shit to pass time and try and not think about anything. i've been getting more and more isolated also, not really in contact with my friends, I kind of feel embarrassed to tell them that i have't found a job yet. I always get people asking me "so did you land a job yet" and I just feel embarrassed now saying no i'm still looking.
I also like to go to gore sites and watch gore videos and clips like people committing suicide or people killed in accidents. I feel like i'm a bad person for looking at those sites but for some reason it helps me when i'm stressed. maybe it's because i see that life could be worse.
I also like to go to gore sites and watch gore videos and clips like people committing suicide or people killed in accidents. I feel like i'm a bad person for looking at those sites but for some reason it helps me when i'm stressed. maybe it's because i see that life could be worse.
DUDE, I always try to remember it can always be worse. No matter what is happening in your life, somebody ALWAYS has it worse. Watch some Jerry Springer if you don't believe that. That show is like a magnet for weirdos.
Just don't get old, be disabled, and live alone out in the boonies. Man I have only had hugs from family or my grand-kids in almost 10 years and I just turned 60. SUCKS.
I also think growing weed for a living will be more accepted and legalized in most places (but hugely taxed and regulated) within just a few more years. Your loneliness has a light at the end of the tunnel man.
amen to that, that's exactly where I'm sitting right now, but no kids, grandkids etc.......
I feel inadequate. I feel that my grow isn't what it could've been. I feel afraid (though not as bad as before) about going to harvest my crops and drive em back.
I also feel inadequate in my "legit" field. As I apply to grad schools I feel even more so against very stiff odds.
I also feel inadequate in my "legit" field. As I apply to grad schools I feel even more so against very stiff odds.
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There's nothing wrong with looking. There's nothing wrong with watching porn either. I understand loving someone and wanting to stay faithful to them. Looking isn't cheating.
