After years of partying and drinking... I realized I had nothing, so I quit. I only want what's real now. I know the "donations" I receive for my medicine are fake. They're gonna fade away one day, like they have out in Cali. That's why I don't go pro, and dedicate to myself to this plant 100%. I do have a lot of time available for the next 4 years though. The decisions I make influence how I'll be living in the future. Yeah I could be partying and having a good time, while living hand-in-mouth... But I'd rather make something for myself, and then stop and enjoy it..
bobble, your "donatians" are real, they are proof that you are doin something right, they might fade away one day... maybe sooner than later if your state legalizes, but you could still get payed for your work a different way... im not in the us & dont know how easy it is to get a licence etc...
but i think there is always a way.. ofcourse your decisions influence your future, i know mine do & some haunt me still... i have made alot of mistakes in life & regret some dearly... but thats me... i have to live with it & like you i want to progress, so i have learned to try and always be concious of whot i do, meaning once again no drink & smoke for a while, yes weed too... all these things dont help you be concious & listen to your inner spirit...
not beeing esoterical now, just saying if one truley wants to progess one has to be clear of ones sences.. and partying & drinking wont help... besides like you said, its not reality, reality is when one wakes up after such a night, those thoughts & feelings that come to mind... they are real & the reason why one started drinking/partying in the first place... anyhow i dont want to sound like im a sad, depressed fart.. which im not... i think ive only been depressed 3-4 times in my life... im an optimist & people like to say i have the sun coming out of my ar**
Anyway, whot i want to say is we are on the same page, it sounds egoistic, but i think thats just beening honest, as prob 95% +
of humanity is ego & only thinks of themself! Next to nobody is goin to pay your bills, help you in need or take a bullet for you, so yeah make something for yourself & enjoy it, cause you only have one life, make the best of it...
personaly im goin to be 36 next year and feel like ive puffed away 10yrs of my life and im on the fast lane atm trying to catch up...
weed has accompanyed me half my life & i will never let it go... its my second love, music & my girl are my nr#1 haha i sound like a geek, my life evolves around music, my girl & weed (atm more the growing than the smoking) but im on the road to becoming happy & truely enjoying my life im so much looking forward to my future.. i have always lived my dreams & fullfilled my goals, i dont know any other way... all the best ... happy growing