Would you survive a zombie attack?

[bounty29]

I saw a post at another forum that really made me think. I've always loved watching zombie movies and stuff, I also read a great book, "The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Living Dead". I know it isn't the most realistic thing, but who cares, it's entertaining... and you never know what you could wake up to one day.

Anyway, invariably such movies and books lead to us hypothesising the dilemma of "Just where to go in the event of a zombie takeover?".

Brooks contends that a shopping mall is one of the worst places to take refuge in as the weight of the zombies at the glass doors would be enough to break through, if nothing else did.

So, what you'll need to consider...

Zombie Strengths:

They're incapable of feeling fear, any kind of emotion or rational thought process (much like my ex). Thus, they can't purposefully prevent an attack on themselves or predict your next move (....nevermind)

They're impervious to any kind of pain and do not need oxygen to stay alive. They can live underwater and in almost any other environment, accept for fire. So, don't take that vacation on a desert island - go to Mt Etna, where you'll be safe.

In this scenario, their bite is 100% fatal - though, not to feed for hunger's sake, but to reproduce the zombie virus that will take over the world. They have excellent eyesight, smell, and can survive anything other than decapitation or the destruction of their brain (note: even maimed zombies can still attack).

In the most recent 'Dawn Of The Dead' they were capable of moving pretty fast. However, in most other zombie movies they're slow and lumbering, so I'll stick with that tendency. Also, in Brooks, the zombie virus is so potent it even kills the microbes that aid decomposition. Whence, zombies can take up to two years to biodegrade, so you'll need to hide for a while.

Their weaknesses:

They're slow (see above), they're incapable of conspiring or strategising or complicated movements (e.g. they cannot climb a ladder, enter your orificies, or even turn a door knob). However, when they reach a dead end, they may clamber over each other, like a Romanian circus act...so, just hibernating in a bunk bed will not save you!!

What you would need:

- A place where there's not a huge number of people (as with any other plague, it will spread quickly in highly populated areas).

- Supplies for at least a year or two.

- A place where you can view the surrounding area to see if they're advancing.

- Accessibility should be restricted, but still allow necessary resources to be reached (eg. Starbucks).

Many people mentioned Costco or Sam's Club type places, as they have everything you need to survive and limited entry points.

There's a little questionnaire on this site that gives your odds of surviving a zombie war. Go to the site and then click on the "Calculate Risk" tab at the top. I only got 25%

http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/worldwarz/

 

[pieceofmyheart]

I would survive.....and become their Queen

 

[GMT]

ah with the indica I smmoke, they'd think I was one of them anyway.

 

[page1]

i would love it if this happend. i would get my self alot of weapons, an army tank and just go on a fucking killing spree.

i would have a samurai in 1 hand and mini machine gun in the other, they wouldnt stand a chance! HAVE U SEEN HOW SLOW THEY MOVE!!!

also shaun of the dead is a wicked film

 

[Guest]

I'd just pretend to be a Zombie

When in Rome...

 

[Guest]

I'd just pretend to be a Zombie

When in Rome...

That won't work Flamengo they can smell fresh food ( your flesh).

This thread is toooo funny!!!!!!

GCG

 

[Tarkus]

Hell yeah, go to Sam's Club and chill on top of the huge shelves. Just bring an ass load of rope, and make little rope bridges (be there a while). Bring a few weapons in case you fuck up, or need to clear the place out. Hell, jack the forklift, have a few friends on point, knock over huge shelf, got yourself a barricade. They might smash the doors, but they wont get through that.
You would also have to secure the loading bays out back.
I think a zombie attack would be pretty easy to survive, if you are careful. They are slow, but they have a way of fucking things up. No need for a killing spree, they will smell you and continue to beat at the door. Take a few potshots. Hell, do they sell propane at Sam's Club??
I would like to think I would survive. Plus, I have a National Guard Armory very near my house, I think I could probably stock up on the weapons.

Upon further thinking, I realize I could prob just stay at the Armory. I bet they have MREs.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I think I would probibly survive. I would become that biggest pothead in the world though, it would be so boring if you were stuck in the same area for years.....

 

[GOT_BUD?]

I'd survive. But just because I live next door to Chuck Norris.

His tears cure cancer, but he never cries. 'Cause he's Chuck Norris.

 

[hydroclops]

I would survive.....and become their Queen

That you would, All hail POMH queen of te zombies

 

[Guest]

ah with the indica I smmoke, they'd think I was one of them anyway.

LMFAO!! I got enough firepower to protect me for a few years.

 

[zeon33]

i would jus grow bud like those cats in day of the dead.

anyone play zombie mod for counter strike source? i dont play counter strike usually but i play this cause it has zombies.
its pretty fun, but its more of the dawn of the dead remake, where they move all fast, plus its scarier cause they infect you in 1 hit.

they're comin out with a more professional zombie game for hl2 called, left 4 dead. its looks basically the same as resident evil outbreak, with 4 characters that have a minor background.

 

[killa-bud]

i got 33 % chance of survilvel,hmmm

i'ed just get a shark suit from somewhere, that pretty much covers the zombies

 

[jd2769]

these guys are having the same thoughts as us or us them whichever.

http://peta-sucks.com/smf/index.php/topic,14325.0.html

 

[jojajico]

its actually quite sad how much thought i have put into this but i would shoot for a place with ammo lost of it and like in dawn of the dead i would take them out one by one all day long all head shots. id make bombs (yes i know how) and just be tossin them into the crowd all day long. everyday me and my crew would go to the ruff of costco or wherever and just break out the lawn chairs and scooped rifles and have at it like we were fishing or something. and i would construct what i like to call a zombie suit. they can only really hurt u if they bite you right. so i would mave a suit that would protect my hands and arms made out of a thin flexible material like layered jeans or something. we would kill them until there are no more. also it should be instituted that everone carry lighter fluid and a lighter incase anyone dies suddenly and you nned to burn their body. u never kno any death could produce them.

 

[Guest]

Jojajico, sounds like you would need to come to my house man. Lots of ammo over here.

 

[Martha Stewart]

Zombies, piece of cake.

Now Martha-Bots are a different story.

But if You need some Zombie-shootin' fun...try this.
http://artscool.cfa.cmu.edu/~lee/deanimator.html

Martha S.

 

[jojajico]

Jojajico, sounds like you would need to come to my house man. Lots of ammo over here.

ive got over 10,000 rounds at my place and my neighbor probably has 10 times that. im hopin they attack i got to get rid of some of this ammo its takin up space. lol i dont even like guns!!!

 

[The Dopest]

40% here they say. i feel a lil more than that

 

[Irishslappop]

all you need is some knowledge of how to reload a weapon, plenty of ammo, a steady aim, and a ton of Coke and PCP.