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Weird - Wacky - Funny News

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Robrites

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vta

Active member
Veteran
Chicago Thug Tries To Rob Hot Dog Stand, Gives Himself Painful Karma To Groin Instead

https://madworldnews.com/chicago-thug-hot-dog-stand/

In Chicago, Illinois, a hot dog stand was ambushed by a young thug who had plans to rob the place until things took an odd turn. After scaring employees into giving him money, the black male accidentally gave himself a dose of painful karma straight to his own grown that’s causing him to pay a very hefty price. Now, the restaurant is thankful for the unusual circumstances that saved the employees and customers from a life-threatening situation as the rest of the world is laughing at this ill-fated thug and his big mistake.

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Terrion Pouncy (left) attempted to rob Maxwell Street Express (right) in Illinois but inflicted painful karma to his own groin instead. (Photo Credit: Facebook/ Google street view/Fox News)

Owning and operating a business, especially in a high crime area like Chicago, always comes with the risk of danger from those who’d take from others rather than work for what they want. When one Illinois degenerate decided to turn to crime and attempted to inflict a terrifying situation on innocent people who were just trying to make a living, the business owner and employee got lucky as the robbery took a turn in their favor — but the same can’t be said for the thieving thug.

When 19-year-old Terrion Pouncy ambushed Maxwell Street Express, a hot dog joint in Chicago, Illinois, attempting to rob the place at gunpoint, he was stopped cold by his own painful mistake. Pouncy barged into Maxwell Street Express, demanding that customers and employees hand over their wallets along with the cash from the register, but he wouldn’t get far with his new funds.

According to The Chicago Sun-Times, at the time of the robbery, one of the victims had reportedly been carrying a large bucket of grease. With the gun pointed at his head, the employee was trying to hand over a stack of $1 bills, but the bucket slipped, and the money flew out of his hands.

Pouncy grabbed the fallen money and started to run away while trying to secure his gun at his waist. However, as he fled, the gun accidentally went off, and Pouncy shot himself in the penis. Yes, while trying to rob a hot dog stand, the only wiener that was lost was the thug’s own.

Talk about some painful karma. Of course, now-penisless Pouncy didn’t make it very far. Surveillance cameras captured video and audio of the robbery and aftermath, which showed Pouncy struggling to make it across the street before the pain of his injuries took over and he collapsed in front of a house nearby.

Fox News reported that he was then taken to Christ Hospital, where he was later arrested by the Chicago Police and charged with two counts of armed robbery. Police also recovered the wallets Pouncy had stolen from the two men, as well as the .38 caliber pistol he used during his crime.

Not only does Pouncy have to live with the dose of painful karma he was dealt for the rest of his life, his bad luck didn’t stop there. He remains in the hospital and unable to attend his hearing, where the judge ordered him to be held without bond.

Even though customers and employees had their things stolen, they still made it out alive and well. The most violent part of the attack, oddly enough, was inflicted by the culprit on himself, who personally delivered all the karma needed directly to his groin. I don’t know about you, but I like a happy ending — something Pouncy will probably never be able to enjoy again, pun intended.
 
R

Robrites

Purina Debuts New ‘Slovenly Feast’ For Nasty-Ass Shelter Cats

Purina Debuts New ‘Slovenly Feast’ For Nasty-Ass Shelter Cats

Purina Debuts New ‘Slovenly Feast’ For Nasty-Ass Shelter Cats



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ST. LOUIS—Offering more affordable fare for the animals rotting away in cages, Purina on Monday debuted new Slovenly Feast for nasty-ass shelter cats. “With the flavors these scraggly, half-dead felines have come to expect, Slovenly Feast is the perfect meal for shelter cats,” said spokesperson Linda Brashear, adding that the semi-liquid substance comes in Rancid Meat Mash, Fish Scales and Fiberglass Bits, and Savory Botulism in Gravy among others. “These meals are specially formulated to help keep the gross cats’ fur nice and patchy, with extra-fortifying fish bone fragments to ensure that the pus covering one of their eyes continues to glisten. Just open a can, dump it on the concrete floor, and let the unloved cats swarm the puddle. They’ll be yowling for more!” Brashear went on to say that the food was so delicious it was typically all gone before the rats could get to it later on.
 
R

Robrites

New GMO Onion Pushes Tears Way Way Deep Inside Where They Belong

New GMO Onion Pushes Tears Way Way Deep Inside Where They Belong

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The U.S. Department of Agriculture announced this week that it has formally approved a new type of genetically engineered onion developed by GMO giant Monsanto. The Manion™ eliminates the age-old hassle of crying like a pussy while chopping onions; by pushing tears deep deep down inside where they belong. “I think we’ll be seeing a lot more husbands helping out in the kitchen now that they don’t have to worry about looking like a little girl who just skinned her knee every time they want to adorn their chili cheese dog with the proper condiments,” explained Dr. Jonathan Sobel, Monsanto’s Chief of technology in a press conference. “Even more importantly, a father won’t have to worry about the sexual orientation of a son who has taken an interest in cooking.”
Skeptics are concerned that, in addition to the obvious drawbacks such as women no longer having a way to cloak their actual misery-based tears under the banner of food preparation, Manion overuse could have negative long term effects such as the development of more aggressive, Manion-resistant “Super Tears.” Despite these risks, the demand for the tear-free onion remains high for men of all ages, from college lacrosse bros to surviving members of the Greatest Generation. “I like to think this is an onion my father, Lt. Gordon Sobel, hero of Normandy beach and selfless provider for a family of 12, would have been proud to have under his roof,” Sobel stated as he held back tears.
 

ozzieAI

Well-known member
Veteran
A MAN who repeatedly ordered prostitute’s to show up on his neighbour’s porch in the Nebraska city of Omaha has been jailed for four years.
According to the Omaha World-Herald, Douglas Goldsberry asked the women to strip on the neighbour’s front porch late at night or early in the morning while he watched from his kitchen and masturbated.

He did this about 30 times a year for four years.
The strange appearances terrorised the family, which included two small children, living in the house as the women would ring their doorbell asking for payment.
“It’s a really twisted and sick plot,” Deputy Douglas County Attorney Chad Brown said.
Last week the 45-year-old US man was sentenced to four years jail for a pandering charge but it’s likely he will serve less than two years.

Goldsberry may also face other charges after child pornography was found on his electronic devices.

http://www.news.com.au/world/north-...h/news-story/9ddf2b4aa5f67bdaf80f390f04697b97
 

mean mr.mustard

I Pass Satellites
Veteran
The oils in an onion contain phosphoric acid.

Aerosolized oil comes into contact with mucous membranes and we tear up.

Cut down on the ways it can ruin entire moments of our lives.

Cold oil doesn't spray as easily. Sharp edges don't rip the cells as much as a dull one. Your ski mask doesn't serve any other purpose most of the year. Your mom told you to man up.

They're onions fer fooks sake!

There's hungry people who would weep with joy if they had that "problem".
 

Capt.Ahab

Feeding the ducks with a bun.
Veteran
R

Robrites

Pinky the cat is up for adoption

Pinky the cat is up for adoption

[youtubeif]okZW3_5Gr4s[/youtubeif]
 

Weezard

Hawaiian Inebriatti
Veteran
Same kine that does not understand skruff pinch paralysis.
Incompetence has it's cost. :D
 
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