TOTALLY RANDOM POST II

[mean mr.mustard]

I think that I would have to be in a defensive situation to kill an elephant. It may seem like a respect for ingenuity but I also like pork and pigs are smart... so I will try to validate myself and point out that they are freaking enormous and have spears for teeth and stomp people into soup.

If one were charging me and I had the means (600 nitro? some huge fucking gun) I think I would still have problems staying steady accurate with that kind of caliber, let alone the mess in my pants... or the massive power speeding towards me that could turn me into something resembling such.

How many rounds could you feasibly get off before you just couldn't take the recoil? I think most elephant guns are double barreled. I think that's all you could have time for if your shoulder wasn't broken on the first round.

I watched a documentary about a herd of elephants that was ruining a village by destroying their crops.

All of your friends and family starving is reason enough to drive them away, but if there's anything that you could do to preserve the meat I would think of it as a fair trade for the crops.

I just read that they're using drones to keep the beasts at bay these days.

But if humans can train a species that show affection for their human trainers it just feels wrong to eat them.

I am so high I don't even know what thread this is and have no idea how off topic I have dragged this....

Oh ok cool...

Still on topic somehow.

 

[moose eater]

I think that I would have to be in a defensive situation to kill an elephant. It may seem like a respect for ingenuity but I also like pork and pigs are smart... so I will try to validate myself and point out that they are freaking enormous and have spears for teeth and stomp people into soup.

If one were charging me and I had the means (600 nitro? some huge fucking gun) I think I would still have problems staying steady accurate with that kind of caliber, let alone the mess in my pants... or the massive power speeding towards me that could turn me into something resembling such.

How many rounds could you feasibly get off before you just couldn't take the recoil? I think most elephant guns are double barreled. I think that's all you could have time for if your shoulder wasn't broken on the first round.

I watched a documentary about a herd of elephants that was ruining a village by destroying their crops.

All of your friends and family starving is reason enough to drive them away, but if there's anything that you could do to preserve the meat I would think of it as a fair trade for the crops.

I just read that they're using drones to keep the beasts at bay these days.

But if humans can train a species that show affection for their human trainers it just feels wrong to eat them.

I am so high I don't even know what thread this is and have no idea how off topic I have dragged this....

Oh ok cool...

Still on topic somehow.

Just remember, if you shoot the elephant, and it lives, it'll remember you. That much is certain. I've heard rumors to such effect, anyway.

Probably better to harm animals with very short memories.. Maybe like Dory in 'Finding Nemo.'

Shit, the day after shooting her, she'd offer to make you lunch and not remember ever having met you before.

 

[mean mr.mustard]

If I survived and it survived after that we would regroup and then it's on like The Highlander and there could be only one.

I'd expect it to come for me if I didn't find it.... like John Candy's bear in The Great Outdoors... I know that we wouldn't be done until... wait... can elephants swing swords with their trunks??

 

[pop_rocks]

you can add shooting at an elephant to this song

even if you could hit it there is no guarantee that its a kill shot and now you have a pissed off elephant raging in on you! lets hope that second shot finds its mark
/plus now you have an enemy somewhere in the bush! one day when you least expect it....

 

[mean mr.mustard]

you can add shooting at an elephant to this song

even if you could hit it there is no guarantee that its a kill shot and now you have a pissed off elephant raging in on you! lets hope that second shot finds its mark
/plus now you have an enemy somewhere in the bush! one day when you least expect it....

I watched that video twice damn it!

 

[tobedetermined]

I have a major soft spot for elephants, so I agree with Mr Mustard. Fun fact: How can you tell the difference between rhino shit and elephant shit? They both smell just like cow shit btw. The rhino shit will be mostly grass and the elephant shit is mostly leaves. So, next time you are in the bush keep an eye on the shit. Especially those big ones . . .

 

[tobedetermined]

FYI here is the stopper they count in Kruger. SanPark issue .50 calibre bolt action rifles.

 

[Three Berries]

Cats because they can....

https://media.128ducks.com/file_store/8840c7cfd339e356638adbdba2e986c0b961cb5781e668d20e6a929a18358953.mp4

 

[armedoldhippy]

.375 H&H is legal minimum for elephants most places in Africa. neither of those rifles appear to be .50s by

looking at them. hell, the shells are bigger around than the barrels on those

 

[tobedetermined]

I asked him and he said .50 and showed us a cartridge as they loaded - but I am certainly no expert. As usual, we didn't see any game except for some impala. Lots of shit, though.

 

[moose eater]

.375 H&H is legal minimum for elephants most places in Africa. neither of those rifles appear to be .50s by

looking at them. hell, the shells are bigger around than the barrels on those View attachment 18817057

There are more .50 cal rifle cartridges than the .50 BMG cartridge.

A fellow who guided for brown bear on Kodiak Island years ago (Joe Want), a well-known icon in that line of employment, for whom a former friend worked as an assistant guide years ago, had been mauled years before my former friend worked with him. He continued guiding after the fact..

He carried a double barrel .500 magnum (not the S&W .500 magnum they put through their revolvers), which was .50 calibre, custom made. Neither .50 BMG, nor S&W .500 Mag.

 

[D. B. Doober]

For the past few year I've been having a horrible problem when walking a long distance...I'll have to wipe my butt, and can't, and after a while it becomes a bloody mess and I end up breezing into a public toilet and wipe my ass. It happened today. Took a crap, while later went out to walk to the store for coffee. Got like 5 minutes into the walk and realized i had to wipe my ass. I made it another mile or so and ran into a public bathroom...there was tons of blood, soaked up like 3 wads of toilet paper. It dripped all over my hands. I washed and got out of there. This happens to me a few times a week. It's like i get instant bleeding diaper rash. I don't know what to do. I end up chaffing my butt cheeks so bad that it bleeds horribly. I swear it's not a hemmoroid. I was googling and it said lower GI problem. I'm not sure. It's from having to wipe my butt and not being able to. Only thing i can do is wipe better. But i wipe just fine. Damn. Always happening to me. I guess if it was cancer they would have seen stuff in my bloodwork like cancer cells or whatever and low white blood cells and stuff.

 

[tobedetermined]

Go see a doctor, doober. You can not self diagnose this.

 

[moose eater]

For the past few year I've been having a horrible problem when walking a long distance...I'll have to wipe my butt, and can't, and after a while it becomes a bloody mess and I end up breezing into a public toilet and wipe my ass. It happened today. Took a crap, while later went out to walk to the store for coffee. Got like 5 minutes into the walk and realized i had to wipe my ass. I made it another mile or so and ran into a public bathroom...there was tons of blood, soaked up like 3 wads of toilet paper. It dripped all over my hands. I washed and got out of there. This happens to me a few times a week. It's like i get instant bleeding diaper rash. I don't know what to do. I end up chaffing my butt cheeks so bad that it bleeds horribly. I swear it's not a hemmoroid. I was googling and it said lower GI problem. I'm not sure. It's from having to wipe my butt and not being able to. Only thing i can do is wipe better. But i wipe just fine. Damn. Always happening to me. I guess if it was cancer they would have seen stuff in my bloodwork like cancer cells or whatever and low white blood cells and stuff.

Could be fungal, leading to tissue break-down. Pardon the expression, but terms such as 'jungle rot,' and 'monkey ass' have been used to describe similar conditions before..

If you're diabetic, high glucose can help to sponsor fungal infections.

Hygiene is imperative if you have infections (fungal OR bacterial) or damage near that area.

There's lots of bacteria from the entrails at the site of the rectum. One of the reasons why rectal cancer is often treated with chemicals rather than surgery, includes the risks presented or created by having open tissue there, or near there.

Likewise, in similar vain, years ago I had a dog, really good pup, who had apparently 'gotten into it' with another dog, and the other dog (I didn't see the conflict; just the aftermath), had ripped his ass badly, right near the rectum. The vet, a very good guy who lived in this area a long time, and was golden in my book for reasons I won't elaborate on, as this post is long enough and graphic enough already, (he's long deceased now, and I miss him terribly, truly; best veterinarian I ever worked with, and I've been a dog guy for 60 years now), told me that an instinctive point of assault/aggression is -that- specific area for dogs; it's essentially a kill zone, every bit as much as when they grab by the neck and shake, though mortality takes longer when it's an injury of that sort, rather than the fracturing of the neck..

Point of all that is, if you're having that kind of expression of injury/agitation/etc. there, and you can, get it checked out ASAP. No reason to not nip something in the bud (or in the butt) that can go from somewhat benign to earth-shatteringly destructive, if you can prevent it from escalating.

Probably one of the more unique posts in the Random thread, by the way, but a worthy one, I think.

Get it taken care of, Doober.

 

[moose eater]

For the past few year I've been having a horrible problem when walking a long distance...I'll have to wipe my butt, and can't, and after a while it becomes a bloody mess and I end up breezing into a public toilet and wipe my ass. It happened today. Took a crap, while later went out to walk to the store for coffee. Got like 5 minutes into the walk and realized i had to wipe my ass. I made it another mile or so and ran into a public bathroom...there was tons of blood, soaked up like 3 wads of toilet paper. It dripped all over my hands. I washed and got out of there. This happens to me a few times a week. It's like i get instant bleeding diaper rash. I don't know what to do. I end up chaffing my butt cheeks so bad that it bleeds horribly. I swear it's not a hemmoroid. I was googling and it said lower GI problem. I'm not sure. It's from having to wipe my butt and not being able to. Only thing i can do is wipe better. But i wipe just fine. Damn. Always happening to me. I guess if it was cancer they would have seen stuff in my bloodwork like cancer cells or whatever and low white blood cells and stuff.

With infections you typicaly (not always,, but typically) see increased platelets and white cells, with reduced numbers of red cells in a standard blood panel.

Not all cancers are detectable by the nifty newer blood tests. Those 'work', if I recall, and are adequate (mostly) for about 9 types of cancer; not all cancers. and even for the ones they can detect, I don't think they're 100%.

Again, get it seen by a good Doc if you can.

 

[D. B. Doober]

Yeah I'll get in touch with the doctor this week. Have put it off for too long. Although, they'll want to do one of those video probe things. Endoscopy? So embarrassing. @moose eater did the dog survive? It really got bit in the butt? Did it die? Sorry man. Stay cool!

 

[moose eater]

Yeah I'll get in touch with the doctor this week. Have put it off for too long. Although, they'll want to do one of those video probe things. Endoscopy? So embarrassing. @moose eater did the dog survive? It really got bit in the butt? Did it die? Sorry man. Stay cool!

Dog did fine. He was half Norwegian Elkhound, 1/4 German Shepherd, 1/8 husky, and 1/8 coyote; one of several pups I traveled the USA with.

Though his mother, a purebred registered Norwegian Elkhound I picked up in Cambridge Springs, Pennsylvania about 1974, grew up slumming, hitchhiking with me hundreds of thousands of miles, and often bringing home ghetto trash strays. A slut in the dog world. .

Her pup (the dog with the ass injury) was born into the luxury of a 1964 Ford F-100 short-bed, step-side pick-up truck, with Indian blanket door panels and a mandala rear window decal with an easy rider rifle rack, and he also did hundreds of thousands of miles with me, but with fewer hours on the side of the road asking for rides. .

He recovered very well from his ass-ripping, which was quite a graphic injury in its own rite.

He ultimately died of cancer when we lived in Valdez, Ak., and had initally fallen down in the driveway while I was riding a Harley FLHS over to Northern Manitoba to visit friends from the Yukon Territory.

I'd phoned home at dusk from a gas station pay phone at Husdson's Hope, BC, NW of Dawson Creek, BC, on the Peace River, and my wife told me he'd fallen in the driveway, had been taken to the vet's in Valdez, and they'd discovered a large tumor on his liver and spleen. He was nearly gone when they found the tumor. A down-side to loving animals that have such a tall tolerance for pain that they don't tell you something's wrong until it's too fucking late.

I offered to turn the bike around and head home, and she said "No. Do your trip."

She kept him alive at fairly high dollar value until I returned home from Northern Manitoba, and a few days later, while I laid on the kitchen floor stroking his head and neck, him at peace, and me having a final period of time to just 'be with him', he passed while I was asleep, after I could no longer stay awake, and had headed to bed.

He's buried near the Tanana River, in an old military wool blanket, on a property where he grew up, next to a Doberman that was his mentor in earlier life.

He was one of the best dogs I've had the priviledge to have had as a primary companion, though there've been many. They've all died before me. Fuckers.

 

[D. B. Doober]

Dog did fine. He was half Norwegian Elkhound, 1/4 German Shepherd, 1/8 husky, and 1/8 coyote; one of several pups I traveled the USA with.

Though his mother, a purebred registered Norwegian Elkhound I picked up in Cambridge Springs, Pennsylvania about 1974, grew up slumming, hitchhiking with me hundreds of thousands of miles, and often bringing home ghetto trash strays. A slut in the dog world. .

Her pup (the dog with the ass injury) was born into the luxury of a 1964 Ford F-100 short-bed, step-side pick-up truck, with Indian blanket door panels and a mandala rear window decal with an easy rider rifle rack, and he also did hundreds of thousands of miles with me, but with fewer hours on the side of the road asking for rides. .

He recovered very well from his ass-ripping, which was quite a graphic injury in its own rite.

He ultimately died of cancer when we lived in Valdez, Ak., and had initally fallen down in the driveway while I was riding a Harley FLHS over to Northern Manitoba to visit friends from the Yukon Territory.

I'd phoned home at dusk from a gas station pay phone at Husdson's Hope, BC, NW of Dawson Creek, BC, on the Peace River, and my wife told me he'd fallen in the driveway, had been taken to the vet's in Valdez, and they'd discovered a large tumor on his liver and spleen. He was nearly gone when they found the tumor. A down-side to loving animals that have such a tall tolerance for pain that they don't tell you something's wrong until it's too fucking late.

I offered to turn the bike around and head home, and she said "No. Do your trip."

She kept him alive at fairly high dollar value until I returned home from Northern Manitoba, and a few days later, while I laid on the kitchen floor stroking his head and neck, him at peace, and me having a final period of time to just 'be with him', he passed while I was asleep, after I could no longer stay awake, and had headed to bed.

He's buried near the Tanana River, in an old military wool blanket, on a property where he grew up, next to a Doberman that was his mentor in earlier life.

He was one of the best dogs I've had the priviledge to have had as a primary companion, though there've been many. They've all died before me. Fuckers.

I'm very sorry. Sounds like that dog really meant a lot to you. Not sure how to deal with death. My dog Diego died while while I was sleeping...his back went out and I blinked it seemed like and he was dead. They said he got sepsis or something. Not sure. I miss him though. Was paralyzed when I adopted him but we got him to walk again. I still have his leash after 15 years

 

[moose eater]

I'm very sorry. Sounds like that dog really meant a lot to you. Not sure how to deal with death. My dog Diego died while while I was sleeping...his back went out and I blinked it seemed like and he was dead. They said he got sepsis or something. Not sure. I miss him though. Was paralyzed when I adopted him but we got him to walk again. I still have his leash after 15 years View attachment 18817163

I have collars and tags from nearly every dog we've had, and there've been a lot of them. All unique, all special, all incredible friends and guardians. Once they pass, they're free. No collars required any more.

When I was younger, transient, somewhat routinely involved in high-risk incomes and living, and somewhat purposefully not dating for the inherent heartache or disappointment primary/initimate human relationships often brought, I used to tell people that I'd never had a woman go for a cop's leg or throat when I was in dire straits, and I never had a dog steal my coke, hash or money. The converse or inverse of those things could not be said truthfully.

Dogs need to live longer, but the bigger they are, the shorter they typically live.

The German Shepherd here now is an amazing friend and animal. Primarily my wife's dog now, though brought home for me after our last GSD (my and my older son's pup) died on our wedding anniversary this last summer. With me full-well knowing that in this case, the newest GSD is apt to outlive me this time. Making it all the more fitting or reasonable that she's bonded so well with my wife.

There's a 20+ year old poodle here (my wife's dog, a rescue), as well as another 12-13 year old Norwegian Elkhound (supposedly my younger son's dog, though you wouldn't know it by his complete detatchment from her and us; now more or less my pup), and those 2 and I are in a race to the terra firma.

Uncertain at this time which of us will feed the worms first, though the near-ancient poodle is now sometimes seemingly 'lost', staring at walls as though he's waiting for them to open like a door or something. Or, the other day, in cold winter, for the first time, for what ever reason, he headed down the road at a full-speed-ahead clip, reportedly running headlong into snowbanks. Like a pinball in a pinball machine, bouncing off the bumpers. Yet he's still spry enough to leap up the front porch steps and run like the tiny bit of wind he is when outside at times.

"Ain't it amazing how the time just flies...

Living in the middle, sunset, sunrise...

And ain't just crazy how the time goes by..

Everybody lives, everybody dies..."

 

[moose eater]