So I've got this friend Todd, thinks he can do no wrong, a real bullshit artist too. Likes to lie about having owned a Harley back in Chicago in the '80s, but when he finally bought one last year he asked me (I've owned 5 of them) every beginners question that there was, worse yet to prove his lies is that his so called 'previous' hog would have been identical, except for the year, in every way to the one he just bought
He even asked me how to change the oil 
Anyway I allowed him to keep his guns safe @ my house (he walked up to my gun vault w/2 guns in hand, I said "wtf are you doing there? your guns can get leaned on the walls in that corner") plus the use of my garage to store his bike all winter, he's also storing a big pile (buckets, cans & boxes) of assorted hardware, nuts, bolts, screws, fasteners etc on the floor in the storage end of my building, a big pile.
He was supposed to install a very small window air conditioner for me last year, I bought it in mid June, it went uninstalled all summer long. Instead I relied on my huge 25 yr old a/c unit, it made it through the year but my power bills were high as it needed to cool 1800 sq ft, this smaller unit will only be cooling 350 sq ft. He's been dodging this obligation for weeks again, on Friday he called to cancel complaining about a sudden nose bleed.
Todd goes in for a colonoscopy on Thursday and had the balls to ask me for a ride to & from the hospital as they told him that he wouldn't be allowed to drive. btw, to & from the hospital means 2 round trips (150 miles total) to Bemidji as I don't need to be shopping, sight-seeing or waiting on his friggin' ass, cheap pun intended. I told him that I have a prior obligation in International Falls, far from Bemidji.
What I did do however was to hire my friend Hank to install it tomorrow, Hank's also going to move Todd's pile of shit (unintended pun) outside for me. btw, Todd holds this hardware in the highest regard, it belonged to his dearly departed father, he travelled all the way to Chicago to pick this crap up.
For the last few days he'll only answer my calls after sunset when it'd be too late to get started, and now he'll be writing off the next 5 or 6 days to having to take preparatory meds & the discomfort of the procedure. Just to ruin his day on Thursday I'll be calling him @ 11pm or so the night before and telling him that his crap is sitting outside, and I'm going to put a 'FREE HARDWARE PILE' sign on it.
I'm on the state highway in rural minnesota, everybody here tinkers & does their own repairs, I think first tinkerer or wrench driving by with a pickup truck who sees the sign would likely take it all. Todd's gonna have to send one or both of his sons to pick it up.
it's gonna feel great 
