J
johndoe123
Hey LJ.mr keep on fighting the good fight brother!
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thoughts in the nite..
- Thread starter lumberjack.mr
- Start date
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Today didn't go so well at dialysis. I don't know how they keep putting incompetent staff on me? The girl setting my needles today did the first one fine, but after she set the second one, she pushed the rinse and pre- med.s in too fast for a new fistula, and blew the dam thing way up by my arm pit, on the inside of my bicep muscle.! Burned like hell immediately, and have been packing my arm in ice since I returned home, but this dam thing is hurting now! It had a large bubble in the skin earlier, now it is hardened and turning all different shades of dark purple and black, and is about the size of a small lemon. I refuse to take anymore of the dam Lortab crap, and I have ice packs on it even as I type this, but holy crap this shit hurts!
On a brighter note; my girls are doing great! The two that are in the flowering cabinet are awesome! not very large, but it will be enough to last me until the next two are done, in about 6 weeks... They are really starting to frost over with crystals and looking more and more like the picture on the grow reports. Soon it will be that terrible day when the stalk is cut, and the growth stops.. I always enjoy watching the way different strains grow, and seeing how far they will go in the perfect conditions. The clones i cut on the 5th of last month. are doing very well, and soon will be large enough start taking cuttings from, to create more of the little beauties! i inadvertently pollinated a Money Maker x with the Kauai strain, and the White Widow x with the Kauai strain. But I let them go for the seed supply. I can hardly wait to see what these babies will do in the extended growing season here. I suspect the result is going to be spectacular! The money maker is such a vigorous growing strain! I have been told that the strain is common to produce upwards of four pounds per plant! That's amazing! The most I have ever personally pulled of of one girl is two and a half lbs.. What I am most excited about is being able to produce my own oil/ medications. i am so dam sick of taking over 20+ pills per day! Been popping these dam thing by the handful for over eight years. My kidney probably would have been fine if I had been living in a Medical friendly state for the last ten years! This evening is ok, but i won't be able to do dialysis again until Saturday morning. By then I will be feeling pretty crappy again, and not in very good shape health wise. Usually by the fourth or fifth day of missed or failed dialysis they admit me back into the hospital for another round on the bill the shit out of Medicare - merry pay all ride! The only problem is I have to endure all of the pain and traumas associated with their little money train! Last month when I was in the hospital, was the quickest most hassle free stay I have ever had in a hospital, but We had to go down to the Dallas metropolis area to obtain a good surgeon, and proper care. I was in and out in three days, and i had a horrible seizure coming out of surgery. In the local hospital, I would've awakened in ICU and probably on life support! Every time I came out of surgery here, the first thing they would do was pump me full of Dillaudid, to control the pain and reduce the seizure risk. Worked out good for the nurses on the floor, but I had to deal with heroin withdrawals for three days to every one that I was on that crap! It was hell on me, and even worse for my loved ones, who dealt with the mood swings and debilitating depression, nausea, and anger issues. Pain and drug withdrawals do not make good bedfellows ! With cannabis edibles, like the granola bars I had this last time thru the OR. made a drastic difference in the way I will treat my pain, and seizures from then / now on. Hope that the dialysis goes better next time- I only go so i don't die ... You'd think they would put their best person on me every time until this dam thing has time to season in? just a thought .. Lj.mike
On a brighter note; my girls are doing great! The two that are in the flowering cabinet are awesome! not very large, but it will be enough to last me until the next two are done, in about 6 weeks... They are really starting to frost over with crystals and looking more and more like the picture on the grow reports. Soon it will be that terrible day when the stalk is cut, and the growth stops.. I always enjoy watching the way different strains grow, and seeing how far they will go in the perfect conditions. The clones i cut on the 5th of last month. are doing very well, and soon will be large enough start taking cuttings from, to create more of the little beauties! i inadvertently pollinated a Money Maker x with the Kauai strain, and the White Widow x with the Kauai strain. But I let them go for the seed supply. I can hardly wait to see what these babies will do in the extended growing season here. I suspect the result is going to be spectacular! The money maker is such a vigorous growing strain! I have been told that the strain is common to produce upwards of four pounds per plant! That's amazing! The most I have ever personally pulled of of one girl is two and a half lbs.. What I am most excited about is being able to produce my own oil/ medications. i am so dam sick of taking over 20+ pills per day! Been popping these dam thing by the handful for over eight years. My kidney probably would have been fine if I had been living in a Medical friendly state for the last ten years! This evening is ok, but i won't be able to do dialysis again until Saturday morning. By then I will be feeling pretty crappy again, and not in very good shape health wise. Usually by the fourth or fifth day of missed or failed dialysis they admit me back into the hospital for another round on the bill the shit out of Medicare - merry pay all ride! The only problem is I have to endure all of the pain and traumas associated with their little money train! Last month when I was in the hospital, was the quickest most hassle free stay I have ever had in a hospital, but We had to go down to the Dallas metropolis area to obtain a good surgeon, and proper care. I was in and out in three days, and i had a horrible seizure coming out of surgery. In the local hospital, I would've awakened in ICU and probably on life support! Every time I came out of surgery here, the first thing they would do was pump me full of Dillaudid, to control the pain and reduce the seizure risk. Worked out good for the nurses on the floor, but I had to deal with heroin withdrawals for three days to every one that I was on that crap! It was hell on me, and even worse for my loved ones, who dealt with the mood swings and debilitating depression, nausea, and anger issues. Pain and drug withdrawals do not make good bedfellows ! With cannabis edibles, like the granola bars I had this last time thru the OR. made a drastic difference in the way I will treat my pain, and seizures from then / now on. Hope that the dialysis goes better next time- I only go so i don't die ... You'd think they would put their best person on me every time until this dam thing has time to season in? just a thought .. Lj.mike
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Treatment went well, maybe nest week ,i will get a full week of treatments, withoout any of the nurses blowing my arm again?. i hope it levels out soon. i am ready for some stability. #33 operations in fifty years, i'm done! Lets hope..Lj.mike
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Today is the continuation of yesterday, or at least that is how it feels , when you've been up feeding the wood stove all nite. I have not been out to look, but the sound of sleet pinging off of the bathroom vent cap doesn't sound good.. I imagine to wood pile is a solid block of ice by now. Knew this front was coming, but somehow I didn't get out to cover the wood pile before the ice hit. i have a rick or so under the back deck for just such occasions, fortunately I thought of that ahead of time . When the wife said there is a place to park the lawn mower, I said no, there is a place to stack an emergency supply of fire wood. I guess i was right about that, now I have to build an awning off of the side of the shed for the mower to go under. We all know john deer mowers are allergic to weather exposure, and $2800. was a hell of a lot for a dang mower! Put that on the list with all of the other shit I need to get done, but have not..
My treatment seems to be leveling to some degree. That is to say, they have begun to understand my health and it's fragile nature a little better. There are only three nurses that are allowed to set my needles now, fortunately they are very well skilled and are quick and relatively hassle free. I have been trying to exercise some in the mornings. I had a real rude awakening the first time I dropped for twenty, or hit the pull-up bar for a set of ten.. Lets say it has been a while, a few operations, and a lot of bed time since the last time i tried to do anything of a work out. The push ups were a little bit refreshing, but then I tried the pull ups, not so good, and the sit ups were not very pretty to watch, but I knocked out forty before i felt the erg to puke!!
This morning isn't so bad because I have been up and down all nite, but I can definitely feel the soreness building in my abdominal region, and especially in my arms and chest! I think it is going to help, but i have to be very careful with the right arm, and the lifting restrictions.. I'd hate to inadvertently damage the only life line I have left.. man I miss being a body builder. i don't miss it for all of the attention it garners, but I miss the self sufficiency I felt then, and I miss the exuberance of pride my wife used to show when ever we were out together. Man I wish we could just pack and roll like we used to. we'd pack for a week and hop in the truck and take off. Now any abnormal travel must be planned and programed before i ever Leave the house, so I will be able to receive my dialysis, and try to enjoy wherever we go. In my youth , in the darker time of my life, I traveled all over this country. I left home at a very young age, never to return, and totally unequipped or prepared for the world, or afraid.
I leaned a lot, very fast, and I remembered. I remembered the atrocities I left, and the atrocities I faced. the world can be a very cruel and cold place. Lj.mike
My treatment seems to be leveling to some degree. That is to say, they have begun to understand my health and it's fragile nature a little better. There are only three nurses that are allowed to set my needles now, fortunately they are very well skilled and are quick and relatively hassle free. I have been trying to exercise some in the mornings. I had a real rude awakening the first time I dropped for twenty, or hit the pull-up bar for a set of ten.. Lets say it has been a while, a few operations, and a lot of bed time since the last time i tried to do anything of a work out. The push ups were a little bit refreshing, but then I tried the pull ups, not so good, and the sit ups were not very pretty to watch, but I knocked out forty before i felt the erg to puke!!
This morning isn't so bad because I have been up and down all nite, but I can definitely feel the soreness building in my abdominal region, and especially in my arms and chest! I think it is going to help, but i have to be very careful with the right arm, and the lifting restrictions.. I'd hate to inadvertently damage the only life line I have left.. man I miss being a body builder. i don't miss it for all of the attention it garners, but I miss the self sufficiency I felt then, and I miss the exuberance of pride my wife used to show when ever we were out together. Man I wish we could just pack and roll like we used to. we'd pack for a week and hop in the truck and take off. Now any abnormal travel must be planned and programed before i ever Leave the house, so I will be able to receive my dialysis, and try to enjoy wherever we go. In my youth , in the darker time of my life, I traveled all over this country. I left home at a very young age, never to return, and totally unequipped or prepared for the world, or afraid.
I leaned a lot, very fast, and I remembered. I remembered the atrocities I left, and the atrocities I faced. the world can be a very cruel and cold place. Lj.mike
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lumberjack.mr
Active member
This day is good. i have visitors from the land of hope, California, Humbolt Nation.. they have brought me some goodies, to help me feel better , or to drill home how much I am missing by being in Texas.. Any rate, dam glad to see them. I listen to some of the stories he tells me of grows he has done and noes he has been part of, and my mind reels in speculation of all that could be .. Dam I will be glad when Texas gets in the dam game! I would surmise, that it doesn't take a fool to understand when a state is making so much money in tax revenue that it has to return $ to it;s citizens?! Are these dang red neck , hard nosed idiots really believing that this is going to go away or somehow be stopped, or reversed? The truth is out , and the people who elected these liars, and fools= are pissed! They have asserted their will upon the elected officials of this country; the law makers and , and erasers. It is not a dictatorship in which we live. rather a supposed democracy. We suppose that when we elect a person to an office of public domain, they are competent, and morally indignant to the pressures of ' outside influence", or bribes of political bartering. The actions we are seeing today are a desecration of the constitutional rights of every person in this country! Sadly; we are too often reminded that power corrupts the hearts of those who posses it, and destroys the moral fiber of a persons honor and dignity.
I am , as usual, up before the rest of teh house by hours. I awaken instinctively, and usually can not return to sleep. I do this is hope that I will be able to sleep thru my treatment as much as possible. The treatments themselves are getting easier to endure. With the right check list prior to leaving, and the right medications when i get there - there is a way to crash , and not wake up or move, I just need a little more time to get the timing down.. Of course ; if I had more edibles , I could conceivably medicate in the chair with no one the wiser. My friend brought me several samples of different products available at the cannabis clubs, Amazing! I am going to try some of the candy today, and of course the joint for the trip there and the one for the trip home.. I really need there to be no screw ups with treatment this week, The wife and I have a concert date nite for Thursday evening- THE STEVE MILLER BAND. and I have moved my dialysis on that day to 10am, so I will have time to take a nap for a couple of hours after treatment. i have been on Peritoneal dialysis for the last three and a hall years, and on an infallible schedule , that limited my evening to 8pm curfew, so I would have ten hours to conduct my treatment before I had to get the kids up and off to school. The modality of dialysis that I am on now, and for ever, is only four hours - three days a week/And i don't have a catheter extending from my abdomen. The promise of being able to swim this years is a positive gain as well, especially when the summer temps exceed 100* for months at a time .. I miss Kauai so much this time of year, not that I miss it any less any other time of year, just don't have as much time by the wood stove to think about it... this too will pass ? been a lot of years and the longing to return to my island home still calls so loudly in my heart and thoughts. I miss the family I have there, and i miss my hikes in the interior of the island... i miss my home.. Lj.mike
I am , as usual, up before the rest of teh house by hours. I awaken instinctively, and usually can not return to sleep. I do this is hope that I will be able to sleep thru my treatment as much as possible. The treatments themselves are getting easier to endure. With the right check list prior to leaving, and the right medications when i get there - there is a way to crash , and not wake up or move, I just need a little more time to get the timing down.. Of course ; if I had more edibles , I could conceivably medicate in the chair with no one the wiser. My friend brought me several samples of different products available at the cannabis clubs, Amazing! I am going to try some of the candy today, and of course the joint for the trip there and the one for the trip home.. I really need there to be no screw ups with treatment this week, The wife and I have a concert date nite for Thursday evening- THE STEVE MILLER BAND. and I have moved my dialysis on that day to 10am, so I will have time to take a nap for a couple of hours after treatment. i have been on Peritoneal dialysis for the last three and a hall years, and on an infallible schedule , that limited my evening to 8pm curfew, so I would have ten hours to conduct my treatment before I had to get the kids up and off to school. The modality of dialysis that I am on now, and for ever, is only four hours - three days a week/And i don't have a catheter extending from my abdomen. The promise of being able to swim this years is a positive gain as well, especially when the summer temps exceed 100* for months at a time .. I miss Kauai so much this time of year, not that I miss it any less any other time of year, just don't have as much time by the wood stove to think about it... this too will pass ? been a lot of years and the longing to return to my island home still calls so loudly in my heart and thoughts. I miss the family I have there, and i miss my hikes in the interior of the island... i miss my home.. Lj.mike
J
johndoe123
Hey LJ have a good time at the concert this week buddy. Steve Miller Band should be a great one! 
lumberjack.mr
Active member
I sure intend to, might even have a drin- nah, but I'll definitely be taking some good stuff in the oil pen! Yeehaa !! I really hope my health doesn't take a dive in the next two days.. Thanks for the good vibes though JD hope all is well on your end of the rainbow.. Lj.mike
enjoy and relax. after all that you have been through, you have it coming to you...
J
johndoe123
THISenjoy and relax. after all that you have been through, you have it coming to you...
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Man, clear sky- cold night! I have a lot of medical implants, due to not sitting on the side lines, and the cold weather makes them hurt like heck!
My girls are ready to cut! I think they have gone as far as i should try for, with this pair. the next two to go into the cabinet will be the Blue Dreams! I can't wait to see how these flower out! I have a couple of more days of flushing, and I will make the switch.
Tomorrow is the concert day! I feel great! I was kinda concerned about how sore I was , from trying to do pull ups,etc.. I think I have the worst of it past now, and my arm is doing well. Things are coming together for a great night! lj.mike
My girls are ready to cut! I think they have gone as far as i should try for, with this pair. the next two to go into the cabinet will be the Blue Dreams! I can't wait to see how these flower out! I have a couple of more days of flushing, and I will make the switch.
Tomorrow is the concert day! I feel great! I was kinda concerned about how sore I was , from trying to do pull ups,etc.. I think I have the worst of it past now, and my arm is doing well. Things are coming together for a great night! lj.mike
CoCoColaClassic
Member
Texas doesn't have a cultivation law. You can grow up to 4 ounces and it's a misdemeanor. Get a 250 watt and flower a CBD strain STAT
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Well, things were going too well I guess. the treatment didn't go so good, and I ended up with a blown needle. I have my arm packed in ice to reduce the swelling and expedite the coagulation. I have been gaining weight so it is hard to judge how much over my dry weight I really am.? I could try again in the morning, but it would likely do the same thing again, due to how new and fragile the fistula still is. So, I get to be frugal with liquid intake for a couple of days, and hope for the best. Tonight is definitely still a go, Steve Miller Band with the prettiest girl I have ever known ( my wife). Hope she does well on her biology exam today, or at least doesn't find out if she didn't until next week. If she doesn't, she'll spend the entire evening beating herself up for not being home studying..
lj.mike
lj.mike
lumberjack.mr
Active member
The night was a blast! Had a great time at the concert, even made it to a friend's home for a visit afterward. I had not realized how dated my music taste are. the people at this concert looked to have just stepped out of a geriatric ward. i think my wife was the youngest person there! (30)... They did a really good show, but the venue was small, and not very comfortable, and the place was crawling with police in every isle! so much for puff and pass.. The band was really good, but they only played the same songs that have been popular for decades. Sorry to say, but the music industry has advance a great deal since the 70's. i had an enjoyable evening, but the tickets were not worth the $100. ea. that we paid for them. I would have felt the same if the cost had been half of what we paid. some things are better left to history, and the continued efforts of entertainers like George Thurogood, Steve Miller band, Dave Mathews band, Willey Nelson- they were great before time took it's toll on them. Willey, when we saw him last year, didn't even try to sing his songs, just stood on stage and read the lyrics aloud, while his wife and kids tried to keep the gaps filled in when he played or talked/sang his songs, and there was no interaction with the audience . I guess I have become old myself?
The blow-out at treatment yesterday morning has been slowly darkening, and is really painful to the touch. I keep getting the same excuse over and over- the fistula is very fragile, and extremely easy to damage, or cause to blow out around the needles. If luck is on my side, it will heal enough for them to conduct treatment Sat..I can really tell when the toxins start to build up, I begin to itch first, then nausea , then vomiting and convulsions, followed by a seizure event of some sort. Of course it wouldn't be me if I didn't have the same responses to being too dry from dialysis? My arm looks horrible again, fortunately the weather here is still warranting long sleeved shirts and jackets. I have yet to receive one full week of treatments without any problems. It has become a little frustrating, and painful. I guess I need to get busy with the heat and ice pack alternating, better start with the ice, and alternate with the heat. Great way to spend the morning.. So much for any exercise today, any strenuous activity now could cause a spike in my blood pressure, and blow a hole open in the fistula. I am concerned that my exercise is interfering with the dialysis treatments, due to constriction of the arteries through and around the muscle. I guess i will just have to deal with the crap as it comes my way! Of course, the weather is taking a nose dive again, getting colder by the hour! So, I guess putting some firewood under a tarp would be a good idea.. Have a great day Folks!
Lj.mike
The blow-out at treatment yesterday morning has been slowly darkening, and is really painful to the touch. I keep getting the same excuse over and over- the fistula is very fragile, and extremely easy to damage, or cause to blow out around the needles. If luck is on my side, it will heal enough for them to conduct treatment Sat..I can really tell when the toxins start to build up, I begin to itch first, then nausea , then vomiting and convulsions, followed by a seizure event of some sort. Of course it wouldn't be me if I didn't have the same responses to being too dry from dialysis? My arm looks horrible again, fortunately the weather here is still warranting long sleeved shirts and jackets. I have yet to receive one full week of treatments without any problems. It has become a little frustrating, and painful. I guess I need to get busy with the heat and ice pack alternating, better start with the ice, and alternate with the heat. Great way to spend the morning.. So much for any exercise today, any strenuous activity now could cause a spike in my blood pressure, and blow a hole open in the fistula. I am concerned that my exercise is interfering with the dialysis treatments, due to constriction of the arteries through and around the muscle. I guess i will just have to deal with the crap as it comes my way! Of course, the weather is taking a nose dive again, getting colder by the hour! So, I guess putting some firewood under a tarp would be a good idea.. Have a great day Folks!
Lj.mike
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Good evening to all, I am well.The day was good, and the evening was a night out with friends. I even had a drink with dinner, that tasted good, but this morning is a little uncomfortable. I don't have a full hang over, but due to my compromised renal function, alcohol does not process thru my system the same as before, so I will feel like crap for a day or two. I didn't even get a buzz, and my head feels like a twenty pound bowling ball!
i finally cut a couple of seed plants, and they appear to have done really well in that regard. One was a cross with a strain from Kauai x Money Maker, and the other is kauai x white widow. I also have some auto flower seeding out as well. I put a couple of new girls in the cabinet to bud out, both are blue dream x chemdog. I may have let them get a little too tall, but as I am using LED lights, I don't think I have any reason for concern. I also switched my feeding from only using Kool Bloom, to using FOXFARM big bloom & grow big fertilizers. I am going to continue to use the coco for now. I don't have to worry as much about over watering, and the medium is very conducive to accelerated growth. My experience with Auto flower strains is limited, but they seem to be quite content in the coco as well.
guess domestic duties call.. the girls are up, and I need to be watering and cutting clones. best wishes,. Lj.mike
i finally cut a couple of seed plants, and they appear to have done really well in that regard. One was a cross with a strain from Kauai x Money Maker, and the other is kauai x white widow. I also have some auto flower seeding out as well. I put a couple of new girls in the cabinet to bud out, both are blue dream x chemdog. I may have let them get a little too tall, but as I am using LED lights, I don't think I have any reason for concern. I also switched my feeding from only using Kool Bloom, to using FOXFARM big bloom & grow big fertilizers. I am going to continue to use the coco for now. I don't have to worry as much about over watering, and the medium is very conducive to accelerated growth. My experience with Auto flower strains is limited, but they seem to be quite content in the coco as well.
guess domestic duties call.. the girls are up, and I need to be watering and cutting clones. best wishes,. Lj.mike
lumberjack.mr
Active member
today is starting a little cold, the wood stove burned out in the night. After I got the fire going and downed a cup of coffee, the morning started to look up.
Today is a treatment day, .. oh well. The treatments are going better, and the nurses are becoming more comfortable with my fistula, and is fragility. This is hard to become accustomed to. I have been dializing for three years now, and it still makes my stomach turn when i see the blood start to pump out. I am better when it is running and the lines are full, but the first few seconds, when the blood is filling the lines, turns my belly every time. Thankfully, the nurses are really good about getting me sedated or at least comfortable. I have found a new respect for the benefits of benedryl. I don't have allergy problems, however, when that stuff is mixed with Valium it will knock you on your but!
I have started to level off on my weight, finally. I have been overloaded for too long, I had forgotten how much water I was carrying around with me. I go for dialysis, and come out ten pounds or more lighter! I am lighter than I have been since my teenage years, but I am alive. Makes it hard to complain about anything when you compare like that.. I have had a long hard battle and the scars are many, I am ready for a time of peace.
i have been helping my wife with her homework from her biology class, man I am surprised we aren't all dying from some disease or another! There are bugs everywhere! I have a much better understanding of the persistence to maintain a sterile environment at the dialysis center. I have to shower before I go, and wash my arm with some sterilizing soap when I get there. Then they scrub my arm with a bleach and antiseptic mixture before they insert the needles/ spikes into my arm. They don't wear face mask, but they are required to wear face shields- in case of a blow-out. I feel like a dam lab experiment, everything they do is written in my chart, every conversation, every instance of difficulty, and success. Better than the alternative... I have a few pieces of some candy from California, that my bro brought to me when he came to visit a couple of weeks ago, I was told it will kick butt, so I will take a couple of pieces before treatment today and see. The last one of the suckers that I got was wonderful! I used it coming out of surgery, and had no other painkillers, and went home the next day! That is unheard of for me. Every time they get me in the hospital, they ride the dam money train for as far as possible, or until i have had enough and walk out on them. They know that the dam social security will pay the 80%, so that is how they bill! They count on the 80%, bill it out as high as they possibly can, and so what if the remaining 20% bankrupts the patient, they got theirs.. Better than the alternative..?
the garden is going good. Have some sprouts of more auto flowers to get planted, and I have a good supply of seed, of numerous medical grade strains, to last me for the foreseeable future. Of course ; I don't have the green house built yet, and Texas is still in the dark ages of cannabis prohibition. When all of those pieces of the game fall into place- it's on! For now I am stuck in a closet- so to speak... At least I am having success in that regard. I need more light, an I need more space, but I am growing out of containment, and am going to have to start cutting back the mother plants, or do a scrogg to use up some of this extra foliage. They are so pretty and healthy, i can't bring myself to throw them out, and I don't have any more room to grow.. lol.. Tough spot ..
Time to start gathering up my stuff for treatment, Lj.mike
Today is a treatment day, .. oh well. The treatments are going better, and the nurses are becoming more comfortable with my fistula, and is fragility. This is hard to become accustomed to. I have been dializing for three years now, and it still makes my stomach turn when i see the blood start to pump out. I am better when it is running and the lines are full, but the first few seconds, when the blood is filling the lines, turns my belly every time. Thankfully, the nurses are really good about getting me sedated or at least comfortable. I have found a new respect for the benefits of benedryl. I don't have allergy problems, however, when that stuff is mixed with Valium it will knock you on your but!
I have started to level off on my weight, finally. I have been overloaded for too long, I had forgotten how much water I was carrying around with me. I go for dialysis, and come out ten pounds or more lighter! I am lighter than I have been since my teenage years, but I am alive. Makes it hard to complain about anything when you compare like that.. I have had a long hard battle and the scars are many, I am ready for a time of peace.
i have been helping my wife with her homework from her biology class, man I am surprised we aren't all dying from some disease or another! There are bugs everywhere! I have a much better understanding of the persistence to maintain a sterile environment at the dialysis center. I have to shower before I go, and wash my arm with some sterilizing soap when I get there. Then they scrub my arm with a bleach and antiseptic mixture before they insert the needles/ spikes into my arm. They don't wear face mask, but they are required to wear face shields- in case of a blow-out. I feel like a dam lab experiment, everything they do is written in my chart, every conversation, every instance of difficulty, and success. Better than the alternative... I have a few pieces of some candy from California, that my bro brought to me when he came to visit a couple of weeks ago, I was told it will kick butt, so I will take a couple of pieces before treatment today and see. The last one of the suckers that I got was wonderful! I used it coming out of surgery, and had no other painkillers, and went home the next day! That is unheard of for me. Every time they get me in the hospital, they ride the dam money train for as far as possible, or until i have had enough and walk out on them. They know that the dam social security will pay the 80%, so that is how they bill! They count on the 80%, bill it out as high as they possibly can, and so what if the remaining 20% bankrupts the patient, they got theirs.. Better than the alternative..?
the garden is going good. Have some sprouts of more auto flowers to get planted, and I have a good supply of seed, of numerous medical grade strains, to last me for the foreseeable future. Of course ; I don't have the green house built yet, and Texas is still in the dark ages of cannabis prohibition. When all of those pieces of the game fall into place- it's on! For now I am stuck in a closet- so to speak... At least I am having success in that regard. I need more light, an I need more space, but I am growing out of containment, and am going to have to start cutting back the mother plants, or do a scrogg to use up some of this extra foliage. They are so pretty and healthy, i can't bring myself to throw them out, and I don't have any more room to grow.. lol.. Tough spot ..
Time to start gathering up my stuff for treatment, Lj.mike
Shoots, didn't know you were a Kauai boy. Spent 3 months there and with it as cold as it gets here, I gotta get to the island, guns and all. Something special, though I got rock fever, lol. Plan on retiring there within 5 yrs, hopefully!
Stay strong brother,
The LORD's gotcha
Steele
Stay strong brother,
The LORD's gotcha
Steele
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Eh bra, you already know. Bombai cama iana we go. Aloha nui nui loa! lj.mike
lumberjack.mr
Active member
Don't count winter out until the end of February.. that's what grandpa always said, and it is certainly true today! Everything is covered with ice! I hope this stuff clears up soon, or we may run out of fire wood!
The weekend is going well enough, the girls are all stretching upward and the terpins are a terpinatin' ! the kids are stuck in the house today, as the last several days, due to inclement weather, and no school.. we are all getting a little stir crazed, and the roads are a mess! Last year we didn't worry about the weather because we had the F250 w/ 4x4, we'd just lock the hubs and go. This new chevy truck isn't equipped with four wheel drive, and isn't fun at all in the ice!
I remember when I was a kid, the winters here were much longer and colder, or maybe it just seemed so to us. i can remember a couple of years when everything was frozen solid and we were stuck twenty miles out in the sticks, and the power went down for days at a time. If we didn't chop fire wood - we didn't stay warm or eat anything hot! I remember my Grandpa having me crawl out on the frozen pond to tie a rope around a calf that had fallen thru. The calf was about the same size as me, so I was a little more than uneasy about the task. i got to the calf easy enough, but when I reached down in the water to wrap the rope under it, the world turned to a place of pain! i feel thru the ice ,of course, and I couldn't get a breath in to scream! The water was only chest deep, so I wasn't going under, but I knew exactly how that calf felt, and it was Not good.
I guess i look at dialysis the same way; it isn't a task I look forward to, but there really is no alternative for me. perhaps in the future some time, the cure for renal disease will be found, or at least enough advancement to afford a transplant to the many people with whom I share this disease. We saved the calf that night, but who really did the saving - grandpa, me, or the rope? Lj.mike
The weekend is going well enough, the girls are all stretching upward and the terpins are a terpinatin' ! the kids are stuck in the house today, as the last several days, due to inclement weather, and no school.. we are all getting a little stir crazed, and the roads are a mess! Last year we didn't worry about the weather because we had the F250 w/ 4x4, we'd just lock the hubs and go. This new chevy truck isn't equipped with four wheel drive, and isn't fun at all in the ice!
I remember when I was a kid, the winters here were much longer and colder, or maybe it just seemed so to us. i can remember a couple of years when everything was frozen solid and we were stuck twenty miles out in the sticks, and the power went down for days at a time. If we didn't chop fire wood - we didn't stay warm or eat anything hot! I remember my Grandpa having me crawl out on the frozen pond to tie a rope around a calf that had fallen thru. The calf was about the same size as me, so I was a little more than uneasy about the task. i got to the calf easy enough, but when I reached down in the water to wrap the rope under it, the world turned to a place of pain! i feel thru the ice ,of course, and I couldn't get a breath in to scream! The water was only chest deep, so I wasn't going under, but I knew exactly how that calf felt, and it was Not good.
I guess i look at dialysis the same way; it isn't a task I look forward to, but there really is no alternative for me. perhaps in the future some time, the cure for renal disease will be found, or at least enough advancement to afford a transplant to the many people with whom I share this disease. We saved the calf that night, but who really did the saving - grandpa, me, or the rope? Lj.mike
go easy on the exercise, tai chi yi jin jing.. gentle, good enough for kung fu masters....
yeah, nice to see you say it. the music industry is there to sell... songs are great when you hear them the first time and they fit... they're great for rallying an idea in culture... but the rock n roll ideas turned into the establishment when people forgot what they were challenging. now 60's rock is like a lullaby to help americans fear change.
music is about living, and living isn't about popping open the same old shit forever, we get tired. people remember the songs and forget to live. life keeps going, and people still hold the same ideas about what a good time is.
in my opinion, it's knowing to avoid sameness.
i think it's cool willie nelson forgets what he's doing.. i'd be like fuck this. what a nightmare, go here, go here, play guitar and sing all the time like that's all you can ever be. an industrial prison for performer and audience.
yeah, nice to see you say it. the music industry is there to sell... songs are great when you hear them the first time and they fit... they're great for rallying an idea in culture... but the rock n roll ideas turned into the establishment when people forgot what they were challenging. now 60's rock is like a lullaby to help americans fear change.
music is about living, and living isn't about popping open the same old shit forever, we get tired. people remember the songs and forget to live. life keeps going, and people still hold the same ideas about what a good time is.
in my opinion, it's knowing to avoid sameness.
i think it's cool willie nelson forgets what he's doing.. i'd be like fuck this. what a nightmare, go here, go here, play guitar and sing all the time like that's all you can ever be. an industrial prison for performer and audience.
lumberjack.mr
Active member
^^ very true, sad- but true. I think some of them only continue because they were to wrapped in the moment, and now have to scrape to support the lifestyle they trained themselves to require. Willey Nelson- That's a story all to itself, he was just too stoned to care about the money when he had it, not that he rides in a greyhound to his shows, but uncle SAM has his hand in too many pockets- too deep! Enough said.. Lj.mike
hahaha, My wife just won tickets to the Dave Mathews band in May. some things just make you laugh.....lol...
hahaha, My wife just won tickets to the Dave Mathews band in May. some things just make you laugh.....lol...
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