The unspoken rules of stoner etiquette.

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Over the last year or so my friends and I have slowly discovered what we have named the unspoken rules of stoner etiquette. Many people already follow the rules but are unaware of it, it's just something you do. Mainly it is just being polite. A while ago I figured it'd be a cool topic to post here, but I'm lazy so now that I have a chance to do some yard work I thought I'd wright em up. Since I mostly smoke with only one other person these tend to cater to the two person session.



•Who ever packs the bowl gets greens unless said person is preoccupied, the other person can hit greens but can only half of the greens. Never completely toast the bowl when there are greens.

• If there are more than two people in the session greens must be split in order to allow the last person in the circle to have a bit of greens. (not possible in larger groups and a bit of lighter skill is necessary)

•Clockwise, what ever the smoking implement, it always goes clockwise. The privilege of packing the bowl also goes clockwise.

•No super massive fatty hits on someone else's herb.

•You must always clear the bong.

•Whoever rolls the J lights the J.

•No camping, when you have the piece your job is to smoke not talk.

•If I load two bowls and you load one, next time you load first.

•If someone breaks the rules, eh, whatever.


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[EddieShoestring]

Never EVER hustle a man for his personal-for me thats the big one

 

[Guest]

make sure your lip nasties stay on your lips

 

[Guest]

yah thats about rite..

 

[Guest]

most of the time i have a 2 person session and most of the time i pack or roll when i am in my home court. but i always observe the green hits rules and will even donate first rips to guests....sometimes

 

[Pixelante]

My friends and I don't have too many rules, but that's because the 5 of us have been smoking together for months. We usually don't even keep track of who's weed it is. We compile it all together, and use whats around with no questions asked. You can smoke your fill even if it isn't yours, as long as you follow a couple simple rules:

If the weed isn't yours, you chip in money to my weed fund, which is a container kept on my bar. That way, when the opportunity to buy more comes up, there's always money for it. Or, you may buy snacks.

Everyone gets to pick one movie to watch, and the order of movies is determined by deliberation, negotiation, and voting. If an absolute majority (51% or more) of the people there disagree with your choice of movie, you must pick a different one. This rule is mainly in place because of my girlfriend, who likes to watch old movies, sad/depressing movies, or foreign artsy movies -- they are total buzzkills. The primary movie genre choices are comedies and mindless action flicks. Substituting TV for movies is acceptable as long as an absolute majority agree on what to watch. Board games are acceptable during movies or TV time, but the game played must be voted on. Video games, likewise, must be voted on. They usually must be multi-player. One-player games are acceptable if 1) it is permitted by vote 2) you pass the controller around. The person who owns the residence and/or supplied the weed gets veto power. This veto power is not absolute, and vetos can be overridden. If you abuse your veto power, you will lose it.

If you cached the bowl and we don't smoke more for a while, you have to handle all piece maintenance. That means pouring out excess water, adding more ice, changing water if necessary, etc.

Don't spill the bong! Always pass my nice pieces with one hand securely under the bottom so you don't drop them. I spent a lot of money on my stuff -- better safe than sorry.

If you bring your own piece and/or your own weed, you can smoke as much or as little as you want, and rotation is meaningless.

If you're going to talk, pass first. Then you can talk all you please.

 

[Guest]

If you're going to talk, pass first. Then you can talk all you please.

word...such a good rule!!!

 

[ChrOniCHiGhz]

Sounds about right, except we ALWAYS pass to the right in our circles. And of course there is the party fouls, dropping the blunt/joint, ect. If you break someones glass piece, you should expect an asswhoppin, but other then that.

 

[Guest]

if you break a piece in my neck o' the woods, you better have some cash ass or grass to repay your newly acquired debt.

 

[Feyd]

-If you are holding the blunt, limit talking to a few seconds at a time. For instance, if you are telling a story, and the blunt gets passed to you, take a hit, tell a sentence, take a hit, then pass it and continue talking. Don't treat the blunt as an invitation to start a rant, giving someone the blunt isn't giving them the floor.

-Don't give the blunt a blowjob everytime someone passes it to you.

-Don't be a dick to someone else telling a story or just having conversation. I mean, it's all in good fun to rip on a friend about something, but being a serious asshole is a good way to just not get smoked up again..ever.

-If it isn't your weed, don't bogart it. You will smoke again another day, don't treat each session as if it's your last.

-If it looks about dead, and you didn't pitch in for the weed and you didn't even roll the blunt, ask if you can finish it if you plan on it.

-Most important in my eyes, is don't be a hypocrite. If you get on people's case about constantly camping and talking when they hold the blunt, don't take 5 minutes to hit it 4 times because you are dying to tell your buds what you did last night with so-and-so.

 

[lotatokin]

do not give the j or blunt a blowjob !as described in an earlier thread by a very funny guy !

 

[Feyd]

Also, I think it's pretty important that if you pass the blunt to someone, pass it to them with the lit end facing you, (usually only really matters if its lower or everyone is really high to begin with)

Easy thing to do but apparently hard thing to remember

 

[Mr. Freeman]

Is it just me?

I roll 1 J for each person present. To each his own.

 

[Feyd]

Yeah, clearly almost all the rules wouldn't really apply if everyone had their own J, because no sharing would be involved. But if someone is smoking you up, and you are sharing a blunt or a bowl, then they do.

But I also think that rolling a blunt or J for each person works best. For instance, if someone always wants to roll two blunts, and smoke one after the other but just pass it in a rotation, I'd rather just we both smoke our own blunts at the same time. Works better for me.

 

[Guest]

You young 'uns crack me up...

what the hell are greens ??

i am way to fekkin' old fer this thread..

 

[Sheriff Bart]

green be first tokes on the bowl, while its still green.

 

[UmphreyMcgee420]

green hit on the bowl... before it gets all burnt and starts turning black. love the phrases keep em comin.

 

[HuffAndPuff]

"Hey buddy, it's a joint, not a microphone!"

When its my weed, and I'm getting everyone high (as ushe) that's the only one I really care about. Just shut the fuck up, and keep that sucker moving. Any time it's more than three people, I roll at least 2 joints. Cuz its nice when I get high, too- nah'mean?

Oh yeah, and don't ever fucking "bear trap" me. This is what I call it when someone hands the very last of a spliff to someone else. Where it has like 3/4 of a hit left, and then the filter. Just like putting honey in the middle of a bear trap, this gets the eager, greedy, ignorant and uninitiated every time. They get all excited, like, "oh man, last hit, dig in!" rip it real big, and WHAMMY! You just smoked filter, guy we wish wouldn't smoke weed with us anymore, but we're too non-confrontational to just say that to, so we make you smoke roach instead.

Stay safe,
HuffAndPuff

 

[Mrs.Babba]

We have rules too, we just get stoned and forget!!! pass that doob will ya??? LOL

"Dont bogart that joint my friend!!...pass it over to me"

 

[Tarkus]

Hmm, I can understand not wanting people to sit there with the joint for a million years talking, but no talking when you have the joint what so ever?? That seems a bit harsh. If there is a conversation going (which there always is) I'll be damned if I am gonna miss out on saying something just because I have the doobie. I would of course take a toke first, and then say something (if I have something to say). Sometimes you need a half minute or so while you get your breath back after a good hit, and it's not like the joint is gonna go out immediately. Besides, we are smoking the joint to relax and have a good time, it ain't a race for crying out loud. Or crack. Some people just have to smoke it as quick as they can, like getting high is the most important thing in the world, and if they don't get their hits within a minute after they passed it they flip out.
Mellow out and enjoy the joint, it's not going anywhere except back around the circle. Besides, if you are already high as the sky, what does it matter if it has to be relit?

I am not saying I am the type of guy that waits to start talking until I get the joint, I am more of the kind of person that talks somewhat consistently. If we are having a stimulating debate/conversation, then I am still gonna talk, regardless of what's in my hand.


One of my big things is, when you dump the bong water and fill it back up, please wipe off the water around the top.