Some of the reasons we just LOVE kids!!

[pipeline]

^^^^Funny stuff Guys & Gals!

My cousin now a teenager when she was at a doctor for a check-up as a youngin:


Doctor: Do you have a history of cataracts in your family?

Cousin: Well my mom drives a Toyota Camery and my grandma drives a Taurus.....

 

[Pops]

When my ex-wife and I took my oldest son out to visit my Dad, we felt it necessary to talk to him about my youngest half-sister who had been born mentally and physically handicapped. We explained to him that she was different and "special". As we walked out the door from the visit, my son tugged on my pants, looked up at me and said" What's so special about being retarded?"

 

[Guest]

hehehhehehehehehehehehehehe thanx for all the laughs.

 

[Snowdog27]

Oh my god Pops that one had me on the floor,
I'm glad I decided to check out this thread cause I need a good laugh

 

[pieceofmyheart]

When mine was about 3, I was getting her a snack. She said she wanted a lotta bit. So Im like what in the world is a lotta bit?

She says "you know, I don't want a little bit, I want a lotta bit. "

I can still those precious little hands showing me how much more a lotta is than a little.

 

[buckeye-leaf]

Some first graders were having a discussion about heaven. The teacher asks what body part goes into heaven first?.......A little boy raised his hand and says "Its your legs, the other night when mom and dad was in bed her legs were in the air and she said OH GOD IM COMING"

 

[BeAn]

This is one of those threads where 'LOL' means you actualy laughed out loud lol...

Very funny, thank you all very much!

 

[genkisan]

My little 5 year old girl is a super-princess....into pink, flowers, crowns, Snow White dresses, just discovered Hello Kitty, etc etc etc.....but has a real Wednesday Addams streak to her...


Today she asked me out of the blue if she is going to die young, and then an hour later, when I cut myself cooking, rushed to the bathroom with my and asked avidly if she could see the bloody......

Her imaginary friends sometmes end up dying in bizarre ways too.......she is not saddened by this, just takes it as a matter of course.

Yes, she is an odd girl indeed....my wife just told me that over breakfast our little morbid princess informed her that she doesn't like to eat fresh blood...only dry blood, because it tastes like metal (which it does actually, containing lots of iron.)........

 

[BeAn]

Just buy her a box of Fish Blood meal, keep your daughter and you plants happy...

 

[cough_cough_eer]

My nephew (8) asked me something that kinda cought me off guard. He asked if Kletus and Brandine (hillbillie types from the Simpsons) were brother and sister???uuummmm

 

[BeAn]

^^...LOL....ask your parents.

 

[genkisan]

So my two girls(5 & 6) are playing a game of house, and my wife asks the younger one if she is being a girl baby or a boy baby....she responds:

"Oh, were are all both in the game, boy and girl at the same time"

To which my wife responds:

"Ah, so we are all hermaphrodites?"
And the young one responds: " Yes! We are all permafadites!", and promptly goes running off to imform her sister that they are both permafadites.....


hee hee hee

 

[genkisan]

more kid funnies:

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mum breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mum, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mum goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window".

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller.
She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mum explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups.
"Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "it makes my teeth cough."

D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked:
"How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mum asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad
read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked:
"What
happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mum knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon this Mum will never forget..

This particular Sunday sermon... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that Moment my daughter, (who was listening intently), leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mum, what is butt dust?

 

[Guest]

I remember when my son was about 7... I was at the Dr. w/him and on the back of the door in the examining room was a picture of a fetus in a woman's tummy from conception to birth... I was watching him... he was studying that poster pretty damn hard... and he gets this funny look on his face... turns to me and says...

"Mommy was I in your tummy?"
"Yes sweetie ... you were..."
Another really funny look... studies the poster again...
"Mommy... did you eat?"

hahahaha

"No sweetheart.. I didn't.. one day I will tell you how you came to be... when your lil mind can understand..."
"Mommy... how did I get out?"
WHEW
"Sweetie... mommy went into a hospital and the Dr. did a procedure called c-section... and he took you out of my tummy... right under my belly button.."

Questions stopped but that began a few days of ....

"Daddy... I was in mommy's tummy you know... she opened her mouth and I jumped down her throat... it was dark in there... I didn't like it...."

HAHAHAHA

Boy when he got older and we had the ole sex talk... did I have fun telling him that stuff .... *evil grin* Can't wait for the day when he's married and his wife is pregnant to repeat that story....bwuahahahaha

Peace~

Hippie Chic