Relationship problems?

[Guest]

I was wondering if any of you guys have problems with friends or girls when it comes to you smoking? I have an ex GF I really love and care about and she has been wanting me to let her smoke some, so twice before school I literally had barely anything so we didn't get anything out of it. Now I have a good bit and I feel guilty about letting her do it cause she needs to do good in school and I just worry about her. Do any of you guys ever feel really bad about smoking when your close to straight edge type people?

 

[.♠.]

Herb is a gift.

As long as it is used responsibly (not before school) then there should be no negative thoughts involved in its use.

Instead of being overcome with guilt, allow the herb to enlighten you. But there is a time and a place for everything.

Peace

 

[HotCha]

pot is for grownups.

 

[.♠.]

See, I was thinking college when I read the post. But now after re-reading it perhaps he did mean high-school.

Take care of your education, get college figured out and then worry about herb bro. It is my experience that this is the better route to follow. Otherwise you'll have to spend a lot of time backtracking.

Peace

 

[Guest]

Yes it is highschool, senior year. Don't get the wrong idea guys, I'm not a heavy smoker like most of the guys on the forum, half a gram lasts me. I smoke before school because I am very anti social and I get very stomach sick before school and by smoking it helps me relax, I don't smoke where I can't pay attention because I know my limits, unfortunatly my friend does not and I would feel bad if she abused it, which is why I was wondering if anyone has ever been put in a situation like this. I'm going to tell her no more before school.

 

[naga_sadu]

I was wondering if any of you guys have problems with friends or girls when it comes to you smoking?

None unless they give me lectures about the ills of smoking.

Now I have a good bit and I feel guilty about letting her do it cause she needs to do good in school and I just worry about her.

This is only what I've observed and in no way should it be taken as fact...

Smoking weed and doing well in school as far as I've seen bear no correlation.
If the person is fucking up his/her grades, more than anything its an indicator that he/she is not motivated by the current academic/ work environment he/she's in. Instead of pondering on whether to keep him/ her sober or stoned, I'd rather make them think on what they really enjoy doing and somehow find an academic/ vocational programme which suits that and reposition their focus that way.

What does your friend enjoy doing? Does she like motorbikes? Does she like making flower vases? Does she like Preying Mantis Northern Style Kung Fu? Does she enjoy making glass bongs? Does she like academics? See, academics is just 1 route a person can take in life. If your academics are bearing down, it's perhaps time for a thinking session as to what the true interests are.

I've noticed this w/ mj. People who smoke and are studying something which is their true passion or working in a field which really interests them, they tend to do better. But people who smoke and are studying something which isin't their true passion or working in a field which doesn't interest them they tend to "fuck up." THis isin't any scientific study, just a simple Subcontinental's observations. In these cases, it's best to sit down and talk w/ them (do not lecture them but talk about it in an entertaining way) and find out what fields get their energies up...and thru friendly dialogue, retune them to take up study/ occupations etc. in those fields.

You should not make the mistake of engaging in lectures or some "reality" sessions. That's mentally saddistic of you. Don't be a friar, be a comrad/ friend. Even if ur friend fucks up (which I hope doesn't happen) try to get her spirits up and find out what her true interests are instead of giving stupid "wannabe fatherly" lectures...they suck + have no effect other than making the other person feel like shit.

One of my friends in SSLC-II (12th grade) here in India started smoking bhang by then. On the mean time, I was in the process of becoming a "regular." Anyways, till SSLC-II, he performed reasonably well academically. In the 12th grade, he just started fucking up. He would average about 65% percentile wise in SSLC and SSLC-I (10th and 11th grades respectively). In SSLC-II he fucked up big time. Naturally, his parents found out and shifted all the blame to "pot abuse." Well, I too was concerned and I talked to him for about 2 weeks. I'd just take him out on a Minsk (boy I miss that bike), hit the woods, encamp, chill down, smoke and get into some serious talk as to what interested him. After just a few sessions, I found out that he wasn't an "academic" type. Academics simply didn't interest him + all this time he was just biting his teeth and tugging along. He was interested in motorcycles. He loved them to death. He loved bikes as I'd love my family, for example.

In the recent upcoming weeks, I got him some bespoke motorbike manuals (imported them from England), and while we had our semi annual vacations, I took him to my mechanic and had him show the basics. He stuck to that. And strangely enough, even if he was smoking, he would gladly sit under an open shed in the blistering sun for 8 hours to learn the trade. He didn't graduate HS, enrolled in a motorbike maintenance & repair diploma and began his career working for a well established Royal Enfield mech. Worked his way up, learnt some designing course and today, he has his residence in the same locality as my home state's Chief Minister!

Now, there was lots of risk in that particular case now that I think about it. If I could re-do things, I would prolly make him grit his teeth and get a HS diploma w/ minimum passing marks first. But yea, pot does kinda make u very attached to things/ professions you love and endear and makes u outright reject things / professions which you hate or don't hold dear. Keep this mind when deciding what to do. U know best. If she insists on smoking and is fucking up her grades, please try and find her talents + passions and hook her up + guide her to a vocational/ academic/ apprenticeship programme which suits her talents and passions. Also, a person doing things/ professions which they consider dear mature up alot faster than those who don't.

Now, I'm sharing my experience w/u because I started drinking bhang lassis and smoking bhang when I was younger than u/ ur friend are now. Typically, I'd advise people to start only after getting a basic HS diploma but if the person is intent on starting before, well, what I post in this forum advising them to do so otherwise isin't going to influence their decision making process. Just keepin' it real. But for your own safety, please at least make sure that the person is of legal smoking age in your community.

Do any of you guys ever feel really bad about smoking when your close to straight edge type people?

No. Why should I? If they're sobriety nazis (ones who give u lectures about smoking) I'd naturally develop an urge to toss a few frag grenade at 'em but other than that I don't feel either good or bad.

 

[Guest]

Thanks naga sadu, that was something I really wanted to hear.

 

[naga_sadu]

Thanks naga sadu, that was something I really wanted to hear.

No probs man, just giving u my experience in my yonger days.

Anyway, try to do things positively and constructively. Once you've opened up a venue for someone, it's very hard to shut it or restrict it, in all practicality. The chances are, more than anything else, if u restrict something after opening up a venue, the person will just try to override your restriction by going thru another source, who may not have the best of intentions, if u know what I mean. I've seen this shit happen way too many times. I don't think this is something u want either.

In summary, the war on drugs and the prohibition of marijuana is technically supposed to shut out peoples' venues for getting stoned. Has the DEA accomplished this? No. Will they ever? No. So, is this kind of restrictive method, applied on an interpersonal level, result yielding? No.

Either ways, good luck out there man...

 

[gen131]

excellent post, naga sadu. practical spirituality and relationship info. cool.
gen131