Recieved aweful news and I'll be gone for a while.

[LadyOlive]

Thank you all so much

Thank you all so much

Thank you all so much for the well wishes and prayers. I so appreciate it.
Everyone here is so compassionate and caring. I just love this forum.

I did recieve some good news..... he is not totally paralyzed. They had him standing. He is very weak, but can stand!

I just can't wait to get out there and see him, it has been so long and I miss him so, so much.

Thank you all again, so very kindly.

Your friend,
LadyOlive

PS. I posted a question in the Tokers den about travel hiding, any ideas would be fantastic.

 

[guest3854]

Really sorry to hear about your unfortunate news.

 

[sparobis]

very sorry to hear ms olive....hope the future brings you great times
peace
sparo

 

[left hemi]

I'm a stroke survivor. I was 39. I was lucky. my left side is somewhat fried, but no damage to higher level function. one thing you'll hear a lot of is "every stroke is different", as annoying as that will become, it is true. there is research that shows recovery can be achieved to a larger degree than was originally expected. there is something called "constraint therapy", I have like no idea how it could be applied to legs. in the case of arms, it involves having the functioning arm constrained, forcing the "bad" arm to learn to work. since it all is literally "in your head", they don't want to say anything that is a disincentive to keep at rehab, they won't tell you the rule of thumb: if you don't get it back in 2 weeks, you ain't getting it back. in the case of constraint therapy, they have had positive results years (pushing decades) post stroke.there is another therapy called "patterning", where the affected extremity is manipulated through useful motions (like crawling, for example) there is development being done on robotic devices to accomplish this. good luck, and my best woishes to you and your dad. it's possible to have a rich, full life as a stroke survivor. I have come to regard my "disability" as little more than a serious nuisance.

 

[LadyOlive]

I'm back from Phoenix

I'm back from Phoenix

Hi Friends,

Well my 2 weeks in Phoenix was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My father is pretty bad. He had a left hemesphere stroke so it effects the right side. He is partially paralyzed in his arm and face and leg. He is blind in his right eye, and has very bad memory loss. He also has a lot of nerve damage in his leg. He can remember bits and pieces from the past but nothing from current time. He had no problem recognizing me. And he knows he has a son, brother and sisters, but doesn't comprehend he had an apartment, truck or things. Or recently living in New Mexico.

I spent a lot of time with him and he talked the best he could with me, but lost his train of thought many times. I almost lost him once, he was in the rehab center and all of sudden he vomited a ton of blood and he stopped breathing. His heart never stopped but his breathing did and they said he coded. They had to do an emergency procedure to caterize the bleeding ulcer he had going on. So that was a 4 day step back into the ICU dept.

I had to empty his apartment and ship a lot home. I had $160 in shipping charges. And my ex-stepmother is storing a few things for me until my husband and I can get out there to pick them up. He worked with wood and had made beautiful tables. I one at home that he gave me back in 1991.

He is now in a nursing home where they will do therapy and evaluate him for long term care. He will never live alone, or be able to take any kind of good care of himself. He may walk some with a walker, but will never have full stride again. He knows something is wrong, but doesn't understand why.
I've told him he has had a stroke but he doesn't comprehend what it really was.
He does not like what is wrong and keeps saying he wants to just cash in.
And I don't blame him. He has good days, but mostly bad and one second he is right there with you, the next he is blank. He is not eating well at all either.
In one of his good moments, he told me he wanted to die, and that he had a plan. And if I know my Dad, he'll stop eating.

I aquired Medical Power of Attorney and put a DNR in effect. I know what my father wants and doesn't want, we have talked about this even before this happened. He has wishes that I've promised to honor after he passes. And I am totally OK with this. I would not want to live like this either. It will be very hard for me to watch him wither, but I understand.

I had a couple of personal "take a break days" because of exhaustion and went to a couple of places that were my favorites when I lived out there in 1974.
South Mountain and Squaw Peak were always my favorite, and the "Park & Swap" in the Greyhound Dog racing park. Here are a few pics of the mountains. I did hook up out there and I'll tell you, I bought 7 grams for $20 and it was Mexican. And wow...... it was a great buzz. Quick and strong acting, and I was back staight in 3 hours. I loved it. I shipped it home, wrapped it up real good and hid it in a computer tower and sent it parcel post. It should be here today or tomorrow. So I have treats coming!

It was very hard saying Goodbye to him on Monday, but he kept telling me that I needed to go home to my family. He understood that I had to leave.
My heart is broken. I didn't want to leave. So I'm home now, and I call every 3 days or so to check on him and have them tell him I called. So we'll see what conspires. Hopefully he will keep fighting and at least enjoy the life he has left. But I really have my doubts.

Thank you all for the well wishes, I really appreciate it.

Talk soon,
LadyOlive

 

[Guest]

LO - You did good - my heart goes out to you & family /

Life is so frail...../ may you all find peace during this hard time in your lifes.

Make good memories & have a blessed Holiday season

 

[cooked cook]

rock on, Olive warrior.
Wow...I know that had to be a truly tough trip. We've been looking after my elderly father in law, and it sounds like he's only provided a small challenge commpared to what you had to handle. Good luck, and much strength proceeding ahead. Take it one day at a time, and always take time out to take care o your own head
peace
cc

 

[2buds]

Hi Ya LadyOlive,
Wishing you some strength and happiness for the times ahead. Hug and kiss the family you have and lean on those around you when you feel week. That's what family is there for. Sending you Love and Prayers for the Holidays.
Peace,2buds

 

[Guest]

Good morning LadyOlive.

Saddened to hear of your tribulations, watching a family member cash in is the hardest thing you have to do. The decision for DNR is a personal crisis that we all have to face, just thank the powers that be that you had the chance to get it in effect before it became a court battle.

The Mrs, 1TokeUnderLine says to say hi and offer her condolances, she knows it won't mean much but wants you to know that at least in her case you are not alone in your grief, she shares it with you. She just lost her mother under similar circumstances.

Another hard decision is the matter of honoring their wishes after they pass, too. We learned a hard lesson in that arena and have both created living wills directing that we be cremated and DNR if recovery dictates any loss in quality of life. We both know it will be hard to pull the plug on one another if we have to but love enough to prevent further suffering and hardship. It sounds like your father is thinking along the same lines if he just wants to cash in - his wishes must be honored in spite of the heartbreak you must be coping with throughout the ordeal, and his confidence in your love is evident merely by the request. You must be honored by it.

We wish health and happiness to you and yours, and want you to know if you ever need anyone to vent to, feel free to vent away. Do any of the specialists have projections indicating chances of his system recovering to a point acceptable to him, or has the damage been severely global?

Those pics are fantastic - it's beautiful out there, shame it can't be viewed in the frame of mind it was intended, but I'm sure the panoramic views at least helped to calm your psyche. Sorry to hear of your loss and hope you complete this hurdle with minimal scarring.

Take care and know that your friends here are affected by your ordeal and hope for your return to "normalcy" is speedy and without further pain and sufferring.

The Toke family.

 

[Sleepy]

wow.

you are one strong lady, olive!

sad to hear about your dad's condition. but you did get to see him.

stay strong.

best wishes.

 

[left hemi]

the one second you're there thing is not unusual. I would fall asleep in mid-sentence. braoin injury is spooky. suicide in the face of such is a perfectly rational option that merits analysis. If you ever met me, you'd know I haven't the will to starve myself to death. has he lost use of either of his "upper extremities" (forgive me for not saying arm)? even if you lose your non-dominant limb, it's a major pain in the ass. just keep putting one foot in front of the other and tell dad as one survivor to another he should do the same.

 

[dociron]

Welcome back M'Lady................
as always,, my heart and shoulder is open.
Huggz lil sister................D

 

[LadyOlive]

Thank you everyone,

I've been calling out there and he seems to be stable, and he's eating some so I guess if he's eating, he's living. I'll call in a little while and check on him again. I'm really hoping he fights. Maybe his death talk was just that. The last thing I told him was so stay strong for me. I know he must feel like just giving up, but I think he has me in the back of his mind also and I'm his only daughter so I've alwayds been Daddy's little girl. I know that people survive strokes but I don't know the real amount of brain damage and if or when he'll get any of his memory back.

He is a strong man, he even said that himself while I was there. So I really hope he works with the therapists and at least tries.

Thank you all again for the well wishes and prayers. Everyone has been so kind

LadyOlive

 

[nycnoob]

Glad to know you and him are fine.. I really do hope he stays and fight for you.. Theres nothing I love more than my family, friends, hehe Icmag and MJ..

Take care

 

[LadyOlive]

Thank you nycoob. I do to.

 

[mean mr.mustard]

Be strong my Lady.

 

[LadyOlive]

I really am trying mean mr. mustard, but I just got a call yesterday and he is in the hospital now with pnumonia It's not real bad, but it's pnumonia never the less. I just hope he can fight this off.