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Online Dating

I’ve recently started exploring this “online dating” thing to try to meet some nice young ladies in my town. It’s been fun so far and I’ve had a few real dates because of these dating websites. I meet all types of women online, some are looking for lifelong companionship, some for friendship only, and some girls want to get stoned and go straight to my bed. I’ll be honest, I would prefer the reverse order. Here is the latest email to a young woman whom I visited Friday night.


Hi girly, hope you are doing well! Just a couple of things I want to talk to you about. I'm glad we had the chance to meet and I think that you are a beautiful, wonderful woman and I hope that we can always be friends, but I think that we are looking for different things in life. You are going away in three months with no plans to come back to the USA and I want someone who is going to be around forever. I want a woman who will be sexual with me and is able to show me that I am important to her life. I need that kind of satisfaction (and need it soon). I have this pressure that is building inside me. It's true what men say, it feels like a balloon that very much needs to be popped. Sure, I could pop it myself (and do two or three times a week), but that's more like just letting the air out slowly, the pressure goes away slightly, but is nothing compared to a good ole fashion "popping". Sure, I could hire a woman to help me pop my balloon, but that scares me, these poppers are very expensive, the risk of contamination is too high, and I would hope that she would want to start a passionate and fulfilling relationship from our explosive experience. I want a woman who cares deeply about my balloon and understands its need to be controlled, caresses, comforted, popped, and then refilled. I know that this sounds silly and even selfish but I feel that it’s important that you know how I feel.
I hope that you understand what I think that I am trying to say here.
Your friend,
Forfingoz




Have you guys and gals had any experiences with the online dating scene? Let’s hear em.

Forfingoz
 
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G

Guest

This is what we call a creepy e-mail~
I dont even know how you could possibly say that to someone, why dont you just use adultfriendfinder if you only want sex?
 

GOT_BUD?

Weed is a gateway to gardening
ICMag Donor
Veteran
The one and only time I filled out one of those surveys, it came back with 0 mathches out of a possible 8 million. :biglaugh: Guess I'm just too picky.

Although, I know a couple of people that are now married that started out dating online, and they seem to be genuine, so who knows? :confused:
 
G

Guest

Least he's honest... a bit more graphic for my taste lol but some say they want a great love relationship can wait for sex ... and sucker the woman into the sack and the woman never hears from him again...

Plus we have no idea the conversation the 2 of them had when they met face to face... maybe they just talk very openly... :confused: up to her what she wants too... I give him credit for being upfront and honest about sex... how many really are?

JMO
 

ItsGrowTime

gets some
Veteran
Four Fingers said:
I want a woman who cares deeply about my balloon

ROFL!! :pointlaug
That really is a weird email. In the online dating scene, if she doesnt look like shes going to give up the ass just move on. No further contact, etc. And for god sake, ditch the balloon analogy.

EDIT: Forgot the experience part. Being a fairly shy person overall Ive done plenty of internet dating. Everything from serious long term relationships to literally one night of sex and never speak again. I can't count the number of times Ive gotten laid from some chick I met on AOL (member since 95..version 2.0...yeah, pathetic lol) or Adultfriendfinder. Having said that, Ive also met some of my very best friends in the world thru the online scene. The thing to remember is that most people doing it dont feel comfortable doing it the "old fashioned way" so think likewise and use it to showcase your good traits. And my trick is to be funny, witty, and sweet and I get the panties like clockwork. I dont care much about the relationship thing anymore. If you are looking for serious stuff be careful, many online women are either psycho or NOT women.
 
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Yummybud

Active member
Veteran
lol, yeah that's hilarious.

I actually found a couple of really hot chicks from my University, they were in my class, that had adds posted on craglist, want to meet guys for dating or whatever. So it's not all fat people, losers and freaks lol.

Anyways I wouldn't try online dating, like I'd talk to her on the email and shit but then you have to eventually meet them right? I'd pussy out and not show up.
 

Yummybud

Active member
Veteran
lol yeah that whole balloon thing is damn funny. I want you to pop my balloon, I do it two or three times a day lol.


I want the balloon to burst on your pretty face.
 
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KharmaGirl

~Resident Puck Bunny~
Veteran
Dude... If some guy I basically just met sent me that I'd be more than skeeved out. A little too much info there, ya know? If she's going away soon, that's all you had to bring up. The sexual stuff is irrelevant. I'd be avoiding your future emails/calls. Just my .02 :wave:
 
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ItsGrowTime

gets some
Veteran
Did you actually include the picture of the balloon in the email??? The more I read this thread the more it cracks me up.
 

Yummybud

Active member
Veteran
wouldn't the short translation of that email be " I want to ejaculate on you"

that's what she'll read from that.
 

Tom Hill

Well-known member
Veteran
I spit up apple pie all over the room when i read this, actually cried from laughing so hard at one point. You are joking aren't you? "these poppers are very expensive" lol, too much..
 

sackoweed

I took anger management already!!!! FUCK!!!
Veteran
Ok i have a suggestion type in porn store. then click blowup dolls. Hit puchase now. And waaa laaa you have a date for life. she wont talk back, she will always swallow and not spit. And you can be a total stud and not the guy that gets sand kicked in his face at the beach.. Guys creepy is being nice.. lol.. some people will tell everything.. lmao.. peace..
ohh btw good luck not gettin shot by yer date..

sack
 
Yes, it's suppose to be funny, and yes it is true and yes the balloon photo was included. I'll post her reply if she sends one.

Forfingoz
 
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edelephant

Member
oh my god, that is some funny ass shit, did your really send this message? my favorite line is definitely the last one...

Four Fingers said:
I want a woman who cares deeply about my balloon and understands its need to be controlled, caresses, comforted, popped, and then refilled.

oh boy, i just recently started browsing the hilarity that is the toker's den forum. I can laugh for days with some of these threads.

cheers

edelephant.
 

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