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Jehovah witnesses broke into my house

dickcorn

Active member
I woulda followed them and probably called cops for first time ever. I lived in a trailer park and they knocked my door every two weeks. They would stand outside knocking for five minutes unless you told them to leave. Finally one day I was butchering a deer when they knocked. I went to the door covered in blood with a large knife. When they asked to come in I said I had a few things id like to say tell them about the devil and I'd love them to come in and help with some heavy lifting. All while waving a bloody knife near them. The looked at each other frightend, and said I looked busy and they'd stop back later. I grabbed the pamphlet they were shoving at me and wadded it up and tossed in my trash can next to them. In the remaining 6 months or so I lived there They never stopped back. Probably thought I was crazy. Ha
 

PhenoMenal

Hairdresser
Veteran
i dont know much about Jehovah's Witnesses other than how rude and blatant they are ... but... "144,000", this is a very precise number ... there must be some interesting science behind this? :)
 
I

im me

when they do that pick up the pamphlet open your door light that shit on fire right in front of them and let em know next time they'll be the ones on fire.
 

yortbogey

To Have More ... Desire Less
Veteran
or a devil Halloween costume and a smoke machine

maybe the old executioners mask and a axe, in match black leather thong.... while carrying a chihuahua on a diamond dog leash...

oh and second U open the door snap.... Polaroids of them to show them there reaction.....
 

purple_man

Well-known member
Veteran
them can be some tiresome folks...

used to harresss my door too, until once i opened up, and gave them some bible lessons, and torn their questions to pieces, made them know, they is just a cult/sect and they ain't got shit on orthodox folks, hence they better scramble before i purge their bodies and souls or call upon abrahms curse pon them... never saw them again...

blessss
 
Z

Ziggaro

JW's believe that only the 144,000 will enter heaven. Guess there is some kind of real estate past the pearly gates.
Really trip them up when the come by.

Me- You guys believe that only 144,00 will enter heaven right?
JW- Yes
Me- Well is I convert to your religion, what if I take one of your places amongst that 144,000? Which one of you is willing to be left behind?
JW- Looking at each other like, what do we say now?
Me- Have a good day.

144,000 is the number given in Revelations. It's not something unique to JW.

I like JW as people, just don't enjoy talking to them. Everybody has a right to freely express their religion, even if it means coming to my house every Saturday and knocking on my door for 15 minutes before I can open my blinds again.

A door is no barrier to god, and I and many others celebrate this on passover by leaving it open. A lock seems to work pretty well, though.
 

Sir_Syzurp

Member
If its soliciting of any form, I open the door ask for as many pamphlets as they will give me, have my dab torch in hand and burn them all on my front porch in front of them... Everyone ALWAYS leaves
 

I'm Dykster

Member
The Jehovah's Witness organization is all about money. Those poor people that come to your door pay for all the books and mags with their own money while the organization owns so much property. I think it rude that they go door to door and bug us but they believe they might save us from the end of the world. Oh yea...I jab at them with some stuff about their organization and I am an atheist ....most of them cant handle that..lol
 

Stoner4Life

Medicinal Advocate
ICMag Donor
Veteran


a friend of mine had a t-shirt made up, it read:


I AM THE FUCKING POPE

it was his Saturday shirt.
 

Marco61

Member
...... ^ ....

Awkward...
Yup, post is gone already, but I read it too. Not sure what that person's problem is. They talk about narcing out anyone who is in the MJ trade for a profit, but yet the person runs their own MJ company selling clones and other shit. Oh well, someone must have caught a bad buzz....

Wish that comment didn't get deleted. Honestly, anyone dealing with this person to obtain clones should think twice if that comment accurately portrays their feelings on who may and may not cultivate mj. Only thing worse than a wholesale prohibition on marijuana is a quasi-legal system that protects a few and continues to persecute the majority.

anyways... jehovah's witness.. yep annoying. Nothing else to really say I think you could have gotten rid of them without threatening their lives with a weapon.
 

fatigues

Active member
Veteran
Jehovah's Witnesses trick or treating for religion at my door are a nuisance; but I have found them to be unfailingly polite. We tell them we are not interested and they go away. I have never had one be insistent outside my door, let alone inside of it.

While your story is interesting, thankfully is is in my personal experience, the exception and not the rule.

By the way: what would you have done if, after threatening them with a weapon, they went and called the cops afterwards and you had LEO tramping through your living room 15 mins later looking to arrest you? And one thing then lead to another and suddenly, LEO isn't interested so much in finding "the knife" but in looking at all the other cool things they see inside your home? I'm not sure of your situation, but for many people on ICM -- that would have been about as disastrous as it gets.

Putting up with 5 DAYS of somebody blathering on about Jesus would have been worth all the pain and misery that might have otherwise dumped upon the heads of many people here. Just sayin'
 

Ready4

Active member
Veteran
In spite of the NO TRESPASSING signs in the driveway and the NO SOLICITING sign on the door, there were the witnesses knocking.
I went out the back door with the dog , went around the house and let the dog go. Good dog ! She put them on notice to not move an inch...
I put the leash and calmly would not let them get back to their car until they heard my lecture !
Ummm what frucking part of NO TRESPASSING and NO SOLICITING do you fail to understand ??? Do you assholes understand that I can have you arrested for trespassing here ???? " Why are we assholes ?" they say.... why are you assholes ? Not just because you are criminally trespassing but having the arrogance to believe that you are somehow more "saved" than I am just because you belong to a twisted cult !!!! No get the fruck out of here and do not come back or I will make a citizens arrest !!!
For you paranoid folks..... Did you ever realize that LEO could be undercover as Witnesses ?? : > )
 
J

Johnny Redthumb

those bastards get aggressive in some communities. if i were a jehovas i would care about saving others, less people in heaven? more angels and grapes for me!

but maybe resorting to threatened violence shouldn't be the first option. try locking your front door like the rest of america does, and maybe put up a no soliciting sign.
 
N

noyd666

USED TO LISTEN TO THE SALVO'S PLAYING THERE BRASS BAND OF A SUNDAY, DIFF STREET EVERY WEEK, OOOMMMPA OOMPAA LOL, STILL GIVE TO THE SALVO'S, THE REST GET MY CONTEMT.:moon:
 

igrowone

Well-known member
Veteran
they used to drop by my place a few times a year
then they caught me in my shower one day, so i towelled up best i could
could be an emergency, right?
apparently god's chosen must shower with their clothes on, too much skin does make an impression with them
last i've seen of 'em
 

yesum

Well-known member
ICMag Donor
Veteran
In spite of the NO TRESPASSING signs in the driveway and the NO SOLICITING sign on the door, there were the witnesses knocking.
I went out the back door with the dog , went around the house and let the dog go. Good dog ! She put them on notice to not move an inch...
I put the leash and calmly would not let them get back to their car until they heard my lecture !
Ummm what frucking part of NO TRESPASSING and NO SOLICITING do you fail to understand ??? Do you assholes understand that I can have you arrested for trespassing here ???? " Why are we assholes ?" they say.... why are you assholes ? Not just because you are criminally trespassing but having the arrogance to believe that you are somehow more "saved" than I am just because you belong to a twisted cult !!!! No get the fruck out of here and do not come back or I will make a citizens arrest !!!
For you paranoid folks..... Did you ever realize that LEO could be undercover as Witnesses ?? : > )

I like the cut of your jib, no homo.:dance013:

I live next to JV and most of them are pretty nice. They try to give me stuff and I have taken a few papers to look at.

When you have signs saying no soliciting or trespassing or they open your door, those fuckers gotta go. No excuse for that shit.

If I had recurring shitheads come and bother me after telling them to go away, spray bottle filled with water to their eyes. Next time with vinegar added.
 

Harry Gypsna

Dirty hippy Bastard
Veteran
According to the doctrine Jehovah's witnesses follow, only 40,000 people will go to Heaven anyway, so it begs the question, why do they bother?
I defeated one last year on the doorstep. I kept answering all his questions and questioning his answers and eventually I wore him down and he fucked off. I'm not rude to them, but I make it clear that I am a non believer and until I see some evidence I will remain so.

Around here, they aren't quite at the point of doing home invasions yet though.

EDIT
It seems I was 104,000 heaven chosen people out. that will teach me to read/listen more carefully.
 
Last edited:

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