Is it always you reaching out or making the first move?

[Sat X RB]

I like loits of contact with Others. they're doing their own thing of course and how things seem for me does not necessarily apply to Others ... no matter how much I wish it were so.

thinking about this I recognise that sometimes in my isolated hippie lifestyle I get lonely. that's right: LONELY!

this is tough for me. so I think, well ... DETACH. we're not all joined at the hip. we have our own row to hoe. we will die ALONE.

we are all merely Travellers along Life's journey. dig what you see/hear/feel for Yourself! after all experience shared is experience become secondhand ...

cheers!

 

[Drift13]

For years I was the one to do the contacting or go the extra step. But after some shit went down I learned who was worth calling and the rest got kicked to the side.

 

[Ziggaro]

Hmm it seems like its the reverse for me...

I usually have pretty good luck with people, and many good things (including my wife!) have happened without me making the first move.

I don't worry about it, though.. I think that if you are worried about that it is hard to be genuine. If you are not genuine.. well good luck!

 

[bench warmer]

If others aren't responding, it's possible they're using the Ignore feature.

 

[Nor'Easter]

Ok this thread slid into negativity now. If that is what it takes for you to be happy, fine no sweat off my back! I am not looking for a popularity contest anyway. I have never sought anyone's friendship here, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I just thought it was not that important, I don't have to add someone to a list for them to be a friend. Still, if someone sends me a friendship request, I almost never refuse. Well I haven't yet, can't rule it out if I knew someone was a troublemaker or something but I feel the more friends the better in general, can't have too many friends. That being said, most are still future friends in making, don't know too many of them yet. peace

 

[vonforne]

I am slack at answering PMs and VMs. I procrastinate. Like now I have one from Ganja Hasi I have not answered in a week.

Doesn´t mean I don´t like him or want to continue our friendship it only means I am a procrastinating stoner easily distracted by the slightest thing as I go about my day.


V

 

[Nor'Easter]

yes that is understandable
I have looked at more than one PM and thought I will have more time to reply properly later, only to forget, and then a week or so goes by. I am usually on top of that though. Another vendor is not answering e-mails or pm's, and people at the site say he's too busy like that's acceptable. So it is ok to ignore customers? Or are you too busy to run your business or tend to customers? That does not make sense to me, you make time for that kind of stuff. end of rant But I hear you. People here generally don't have the same level of friendship as they do in their "real" life, although I'd take many here over anyone in my personal life anyday! And like someone said in a rep comment to me (sorry it won't let me return rep), people are too busy for good old-fashioned friendship a lot these days, sad. peace

 

[Hash Zeppelin]

I am trying to get better at reaching out to folks. I am bad about it in real life too. I always feel like I am just bothering some people, or they are just being nice because it is hard to be mean to me. I look about as intimidating as a basket of kittens, so people are generally nice to me. Iknow for a fact that I have missed out on going out with some great girls because I just didnt ask them out like an idiot.

some people stop responding on this sight because they get paranoid. It happened to one of my friends on here recently.

 

[noluv]

I don't reach out and only answer the phone if it's mom calling.

 

[Hash Zeppelin]

yummy is that you?

 

[noluv]

Yummy was hittin up chicks n whatnot he did nothing but reach out.

 

[Stoner4Life]

Yummy was hittin up chicks n whatnot he did nothing but reach out.

he did no such thing, it was always "I think this chick likes me, should I ask her out?" and he never did.

that Russian chick Natasha had to have thrown herself @ him.

if you actually meant 'he did nothing but reach out' to be interpreted as he constantly came to the Den trolling the members with woeful tales of his dating prowess then I apologize, you're 100% right, yeah he was reaching out.......

 

[noluv]

I meant both that's why I said he did nothing else. But I stand corrected about the other part then.

 

[noluv]

Although I did reach out in a way by coming back here but man was that a mistake. I'd like to think the problem is everyone else but I'm not that dumb. Can't handle people. At least there's plants. Last post.

 

[Nor'Easter]

I would not rather think of let alone discuss Yummy. how do you continue to post as a guest noluv? Anyway, I feel better now about most folks here I was wondering about. Turns out they were busy and not here for the most part it seems. See with me, if someone had a problem with me, I would want them to be straight with me and tell me exactly what it is they have a problem with. If I am wrong, and I am often enough, I would do what I could to correct or remedy the situation. If they wanted to continue being friends, that would be my preference, but if not as long as I know I am fine with it. People have funny ways of playing funky games and dancing around and not being honest though. I don't know why it seems for some easier to lie or avoid the truth rather than just confront it.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

... I have those on my friends list, that I leave a message on their user page and don't hear from them, I have to badger some of them repeatedly before they respond. If they are absent for a while, I check in to see all is well, if I am gone no one cares it seems. In "real life", it also seems I keep reaching out and no one seems to make any effort at all. Now I don't stink nor am I some tyrant or something so what gives?...

It's not you, bruz. Real friends take the time to check in.

 

[thegambler]

Funny, I've been thinking about these same types of things lately too. People I hear from- most I'm not really interested in talking to. People I've reached out to- most don't communicate back. It used to bother me more but than I thought about my wife: who is generally known as one of the most caring, loving, well-liked people out there. People love her! And she only talks to one old friend- about once every 3-4 months. I mark it down to this: as people get fat and ugly in their old age, they are less likely to want to communicate.

 

[longearedfriend]

^^

a teacher said to us once that in general when people age, they start losing all their friends

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

... See with me, if someone had a problem with me, I would want them to be straight with me and tell me exactly what it is they have a problem with. If I am wrong, and I am often enough, I would do what I could to correct or remedy the situation. If they wanted to continue being friends, that would be my preference, but if not as long as I know I am fine with it. People have funny ways of playing funky games and dancing around and not being honest though. I don't know why it seems for some easier to lie or avoid the truth rather than just confront it.

Folks aren't always willing to admit they play peeps to get their way. (Not your friends, I'm generalizing.)

Keep-it-real can't juggle as many balls as theater. Don't let your guard down. Some are harmless and some take advantage.

 

[Nor'Easter]

Well I needed a laugh so thanks for the fat and ugly post!
Real friends get fat and old and ugly too and stick with you! I have some friends here I consider the truest and best friends I have. peace

Edit: I can't complain about most on my friends list. none have given me any problems, a couple keep in touch and just 2 or 3 I wonder wtf... but overall good people as I hope I am to others.