If there was a Fraternity for Country Folks, what would the Initiation Rituals be ?

[St. Phatty]

Just some more Stoned Thinking.


I got one idea.

The remains of a cow that has been butchered are allowed to sit on a blue tarp, with another tarp over it, for about 3 weeks.

The initiates merely have the job of shoveling and raking and pushing the remains over to a compost pile, nearby.

(Country frats have compost piles, right ?)

For a country person, this is no big deal.

For a more suburban person ... if they want to be in a country frat, that can't be afraid of baby flies.


Anyway, that's my one idea.

Since most frats involve drinking, I'm not sure if country drinking is that different from suburban drinking.

Would the drinking and pot-smoking rituals for a country frat be similar to a suburban frat - or would they be different ?

It wouldn't fit in the headline space, maybe another question would be,
If there was a Fraternity or Sorority for Country Folks, what would the Initiation Rituals be ?

But, I guess ICMag is mostly guys, it's more like a fraternity.

 

[ronbo51]

Step 1: Here, hold my beer.

 

[Skinny Leaf]

You have to drink from the spittoon after everybody in the fraternity spits in it. Nothing better than wintergreen Copenhagen and Redman chewing tobacco drowned in saliva. Who's first?

Don't like that? There is always that beautiful sheep in the corner. Of course there will be pics taken.

 

[CosmicGiggle]

...... I'd include some fireworks.

 

[420somewhere]

Step 2: Watch This

 

[resinryder]

The way most redneck stories begin----You ain't gonna believe this shit!!
Butcher a pig. Assign the new initiates the task of cleaning the chitlins. That would be the hogs intestines for those who don't know. It's a shitty job!!

 

[OranguTrump]

Negotiate a lawn full of old cars on blocks, rusting farm equipment, a dozen feral cats & dogs, several drunken relatives passed out in the weeds and a meth lab - while black out drunk, with their pants around their knees, holding a beer, chewing a wad of tabacky AND trying to text their cousin/sister for a booty call.

While blindfolded.

 

[armedoldhippy]

butcher a hog, grind the sausage, bake biscuits & make good gravy. if you CAN do that, you get to skip the initiations because you are ALREADY a country fraternity associate member whether you knew it or not...

 

[Stoner4Life]

wouldn't wish this on anyone but.......

my initiation to living in the country was living in a tar paper hunting shack during a winter that saw near constant below zero temps and many days n' nights in the -35 to -45F temps. that shack was scabbed together as a November temps type of crib, the 2 short walls were asphalt shingles, 1 long wall was rolled roofing (hence the tar paper moniker) and the last wall was a well painted exterior grade sheeting. The old fuel oil stove was temperamental, during the day I/we could deal with it, but at night if it shut down I'd wake up to find the dog's water bowl frozen over. Of course as it was a hunting shack and used only a few weeks out of the year it had no electric service & no plumbing; light @ night was via three wall mounted single head gas lamps, that means three Coleman lantern type of lights, so I had to keep plenty of silk mantles on hand.

That winter ('88/'89) was the final piece of hitting bottom from my cocaine addiction, it was that addiction which forced me to seek refuge where I was least likely to re-offend.

 

[Stoner4Life]

butcher a hog, grind the sausage, bake biscuits & make good gravy. if you CAN do that, you get to skip the initiations because you are ALREADY a country fraternity associate member whether you knew it or not...

I met a hippie type of couple up here known by their nickname(s) 'Biscuits & Gravy' but I never concerned myself in knowing which one was Biscuits & who was Gravy.......

 

[armedoldhippy]

I met a hippie type of couple up here known by their nickname(s) 'Biscuits & Gravy' but I never concerned myself in knowing which one was Biscuits & who was Gravy.......

well, you gotta have both, so...

 

[RustyShcklfrd]

butcher a hog, grind the sausage, bake biscuits & make good gravy. if you CAN do that, you get to skip the initiations because you are ALREADY a country fraternity associate member whether you knew it or not...

Nailed it!

 

[Mikell]

Polyamorous? Now we're speaking Mikell.


You have to travel to city and light a manbun or other hipster trash on fire.

No need to document, just give the city name and a local news channel.



Anyone else tired of rural denizens moving to the city, becoming urbanized (referring to your home town with disdain is step one), but who periodically return to make an ass of themselves?

Who needs a shower after one night camping? How do you forget how to make a fire?

Siblings are farkin' hilarious. Don't pretend you're still from here, you switched teams.

Why the fuck do they (urbanites, not that traitor of a younger sister) move here after the city grinds their weak ass out, only to try and make here like there, and whine about the differences they can't alter?

We kill some of our own food out here. Yes, food comes from living things. Buck up or shut up.

And mind the animal shit. We aren't owned by our animals nor do we wipe their asses (or yours).

 

[St. Phatty]

I might ask them to disassemble an old Mercedes Diesel, taking care not to damage any parts.

But that's just me trying to get some free labor.

 

[FoothillFarming]

Ask them to smile? If they have all their teeth they ain't country?

Walk by and scoot dirt on their shoes. If they freak out, they ain't county.

If you say black lives matter....... Na, I will leave that one out...lol.

 

[shithawk420]

holy shit stoner.your lucky to be alive.im glad your here to tell the tale cause that is rough.even by my standards.

 

[Betterhaff]

You have to drink from the spittoon after everybody in the fraternity spits in it

That reminds me of a sick joke.

A group is at the pool hall and a dare is made.

Bob: "I'll bet you $10 you won't take a swig out of that spittoon."

Jim: "You're on."

Jim takes the spittoon and starts drinking...and drinking...and finishes the whole thing.

Bob: Gross man, all you had to do was take a swig."

Jim: I know but it was all globbed together...I couldn't stop...I think I'm going to be sick."

 

[Stoner4Life]

holy shit stoner.your lucky to be alive.im glad your here to tell the tale cause that is rough.even by my standards.

thnx hawk. the next year was more of the same (a bit less cold though) except that 3 Chicago transplants showed up to share the cabin (Fuck! it was a 10' X 22' cabin) which more than maxed it out.

A friend of mine had a nice little 12' X 14' cabin, insulated, dual pane windows etc, gave it to me for free. I/we jacked it up, put it on an old triple axle trailer and hauled it illegally for 8 miles to get it home, did it @ 3am on dirt back roads, some was soft road but most was good hard packed gravel.

Okay, now here's the good part! I get the cabin in place, run a big power (we got electrical service after that 1st winter) cord out to it and moved my stuff into it. The 3 or sometimes 4 guys from Chicago could share the tar paper shack, I lived solo here it comes though.......

A good friend who owned his own home in town had his brother cribbing up temporarily, he had come in from a busted marriage in TX and had his 5 kids with him, 4 boys & a girl, all were under the age of 11. He and his brother had a big fight and was thrown out, he shows up at 'the camp' to beg a place to spend the night, one night became 4 months as I recall.

I grabbed my personal shit and dragged it into my 8' X 10' fish house, you know 'Grumpy Old Men' ice fishing shack, they were welcome to what I had; and in fact just 2 days later my federal tax refund showed up, I hadn't filed for my '88 taxes and so this check (for '88 & '89) was a nice refund considering how little work there was up here for me.

It was about $350, and because he was dead broke with 5 kids I cashed the check and gave him $250 of it; I drove him to the local food shelf and then the not so local one, he bulked up on all of it & then we hit the grocery store and he bought whatever he needed after the food shelf visits.

Good karma though, he was/is an excellent mechanic, genius kinda guy, he grew up on a farm in ND, taking broken stuff apart & repairing it, making already running equipment better or faster. Anyway I owned a 4X4 1968 Jeep Kaiser Wagoneer w/a 327 wide block, an unfamiliar engine/tranny configuration from all the local mechanics, so I hunted down parts and he did great repairs for free, he also fixed the other guys trucks as well.


wow, sorry 'bout the long post, but when I think about those times they're just memories that I regard in a moment's time.

 

[usda101]

You could write a Book , The life and times of Stoner4life .

 

[WelderDan]

Kill it, skin it, grill it & eat it.