Humerous Stories (Let's Hear Them)

[Holdin']

yeah its true. unfortunately. I mean I didn't see his dick in his hand. but he was parked on the side of a dumpster behind a building. sitting in his car with one arm moving up and down rapidly. I don't think there is too many things he could've been doing.

It's always the weird guy...

Not that I've encountered similar events. But on a similar note, when I was 16, "the weird guy" that I worked with was this mormon, 6'8'', large, very nice, but slightly slow man. He'd be the nicest dude, but then say the weirdest damn shit. He'd always talk about all these women he had sex with. And, was quite obviously lying. But anyways, the guy was weird as fuck. Then rumor started flying around that one of the managers (a buck tooth redhead) sucked him off in the backroom at Taco Bell. After I heard those rumors, I heard that he quit for some unknown reason. I ran into him months later, asked him if the nasty girl blew him and he confirmed. Then he told me that he quit because "the management was against him." Then he quickly changed the subject, and we went separate ways.

On a similar note of THAT. That same nasty manager that sucked weirdos dick creeped me the fuck out one time. She needed keys for the cash register, but I was busy making food, so I told her to take them out of my pocket. Well, she grabbed the keys, but also got a handful of something else at the same time . Definitely not an accident. I gave her this "what the fuck?" look then she just smiled and walked away. The rest of the night was quite awkward. I should've turned that bitch in for sexual harrassment.

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

I've got a joke.

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the
bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in
Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to
belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to
eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears
in bars in Billings."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He
comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully
bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

.....You're gonna love this.........
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The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

 

[Guest]

old tales

old tales

late 1 night when i was a youth me and my mates decided to go hang around at the local airport ,,,,
after an hour of playing arcade games and running riot up and down escalators we decided to have trolley race ,so we had our little grand prix, got bored and just dumped the trolleys infront of the escalators and decided to head out of there ,,,,,
all of a sudden someone shouts "oi" at us ,we turn round to see 2 security officers coming towards us ,now theyre shouting "oi wait there",,now normally in these situations me and my mates wouldv'e been off like a shot ,but for some reason we just all froze ,,
next thing the security says "have u lot been messing about with the trolleys and the escalators" ,to wich we all reply with very guilty faces "no it werent us"
security guard then says "SO THESE AREN'T YOUR CAR KEYS THEN ?"

DOH talk about getting caught hook line and sinker