Heres a joke that is funny and does not contain a single dirty word.

[chuckyoufarley]

Heres a joke that is very funny and does not contain a single dirty word.





: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A

: small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the

: birch, Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch? The birch says

: he cannot tell.


: Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says,

: Woodpecker, you are a tree expert.


: Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch? The

: woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, It is

: neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the

: best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.

:

: Wipe that smile off your face.

 

[Guest]

i got another "clean" joke.

i got another "clean" joke.

a guy comes home from a bar w/ a sheep under his arm. he comes storming into the bedroom where his wife was sleeping and says "this is the pig i have sex with when i'm drunk." his wife rolls over and says "that's not a pig, it's a sheep!" the man replies "i was talking to the SHEEP!" (i'm too funny)

 

[Guest]

thank u i'll be here all week. 2 shows a night! p.s. farley that shit is funny!

 

[chuckyoufarley]

thorodee
that was to funny bro
pieceofmyheart i love good humor it gets me thru my days

 

[buckeye-leaf]

good jokes, I have one to add.

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God...

Well Bill Im really confused on this call. Im not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that Windows 95. Im going to do something Ive never done before. In your case, Im going to let you decide where you want to go!

Bill says Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?

God said, Im willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision. "Fine, but where should I go first?" God said, Im going to leave that up to you. Bill said, OK, then, let's try Hell first. So Bill went to Hell.

It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of naked women running around, drinking nice wine, laughing and toking up. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. This is great! he told God, If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven! Fine, said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. Hmm, I think I prefer Hell he told God. Fine, says God, as you desire. So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. How's everything going, Bill? God asked.

Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and disappointment, This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful naked women drinking wine and playing in the water?

God says, "That was the screen saver".


Buckeye

 

[Guest]

hahahahah lol

 

[Wacky Tobacky]

ROFL!!!

 

[robobond]

That reminds me of this vid. Check it out here and click here.

Then watch the movie.
One of my favorite cartoonist's.

here's some other movies by him:

Grim Reaper

Grim Reaper 2

Grim Reaper 4


If you like then go here for the rest of the series.

 

[Wacky Tobacky]

There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak much English, but was a very good worker.

After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the "parts", but the sheep farmer yelled, "No! Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious and we call them 'sheep fries'."

Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper, and indeed the 'sheep fries' were tasty.

The next day, they castrated 16 sheep, and the following evening they all settled down to another supper of 'sheep fries'. The third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was, and she said, "You know, it's the weirdest thing! I told him since there weren't very many 'sheep fries' this evening, we were also going to have French fries, and he ran like hell!"

 

[Guest]

Very good jokes to everyone.

 

[chuckyoufarley]

HAHAHHAHAHA KEEPEM COMIN

 

[Grat3fulh3ad]

ROTFLMAO

 

[Guest]

appoligies in advance....

the circus is in town and after a show the performers like to unwind in the local bars,
one evening a clown comes in with a giraffe & procedes to get them both drunk off their ass'es as its been a long day, 4hours later the clown gets off his stool, baggy pants hit the floor, he trips up over his size eleventymillion shoes slams his face into the floor and his nose horn lets out a parp, at this point the giraffe turns round and starts laffing (as you would), to this the clown gets up and swings a left hander right into the giraffes mouth knocking it clean out, he picks up his pants and staggers out leaving the animal on the ground, the bartender shouts after him "OI, you cant leave that lyin there!!!!" to this the clown replies "its not a lion, its a giraffe!"



same bar different night a horse prances into the bar, bar man says "why the long face?".........shortly after that his buddy, a magnificent white horse trotts in, the bar man seys, "we have a whisky named after you", the white horse replies, "what, Eric?"

 

[pieceofmyheart]

lol

The preacher's sermon was on forgiveness. He asked the congregation to raise their hands if they had forgiven their enemies. Everyone raised their hand but one sweet little old lady.
The preacher asked her why she didn't raise her hand. She replied that she didn't have any enemies.
The preacher said, "Well dear, I happen to know that you are 90 years old. How have you lived your life that you have no enemies?"

The sweet little old lady stood, smiled, and said, " I outlived the bitches."

 

[Gangabiss]

Am I the only person that finds jokes tiresome?

I mean it's like, this is goin to be funny and you are going to laugh! It pretty much ruins it from the outset for me.
Don't tell me what is funny!!!

Spontaneous humour is the best.

 

[Guest]

hey all... after you take a shit, do you wipe you're gangabiss? do you put baby powder on you're gangabiss so you don't get a rash? point is don't be a hating ASS, if you don't like the jokes stay out the thread!!!!!!!!

 

[Gangabiss]

Wow...who crammed a little plastic He-Man up your back passage?

You have the powerrrrr!

 

[Guest]

LOL!!!! found a pic just for you!


no hard feelings....ain't smoked yet

 

[Gangabiss]

 

[Nikijad4210]

Hey, I liked your joke, POMH. I can actually see my grandma saying that...After all, she could make a sailor blush with what comes out of her mouth. And she's in her 70's, no less...One hell of a foul-mouthed old bitty.