Getting Drug Tested for my 2nd Job Interview tommorow.. Gonna BOMB it!!

[Hal]

this gives me more time to make sure my piss is clean. it may sound stupid, but i will be smoking weed tommorow (not much). i wont smoke on friday (test day) and make sure i follow all your directions and try to find clean piss..

thanks guys!!

I predict that you will smoke some weed (but not much....) within 3 hours of your lab test.

Taking bets on that.

 

[Ganja Kirbya]

I'd say make a run to the nearest headshop asap now that you have the time to do so. Just get some fake piss. Thats all there is to it, then you dont have to worry about when you can or can't smoke.

 

[SMARMY ARMY]

it may sound stupid, but i will be smoking weed tommorow (not much).

yeah that's pretty stupid, 5 pages of good advice on this thread for nothing

 

[zingablack]

hey does anyone know why thc metabolites stay in your system for a month. i have a theory of why. your body expels toxins that harm it such as coke, tweek, etc. but things that are useful are stored until a later date. same reason fat is stored is because if you dont eat for a prolonged period your body will start "eating" the fat off of you to stay alive. i believe it stores the metabolites for the same reason. well thats my theory if anyone can shoot holes in it go ahead i just thought of it awhile back and have wondered about it since.

o yea a friend of mine smoked a joint with me and had a test the next day and passed with just the fruit pectin. i dunno just thought i throw it out there

 

[lovelightpower]

part of a water purifying tablet dissolved in the urine, passes prison tests,
can be smuggled in quite easily.

 

[newbie_grower]

I think the Wizinator comes with freeze dried fake? piss and heating packs. Clean donor piss would be ideal. A heat pack may be too warm or get cold. I don't know that headshops sell Wizinators.

The urine they send with the urinator is real powdered human urine, and will work in lab drug screens. You can also buy a kit with powdered urine and a heat pad etc for a fraction of the price of the urinator (just with no fake cock

I dont suggest synthetic urine for a lab drug screen, from what I have heard it is easy to detect.

 

[BonsaiBud]

part of a water purifying tablet dissolved in the urine, passes prison tests,
can be smuggled in quite easily.

What? those horrid iodine tabs that you carry for when your filter breaks and you can't find a spring, and you don't have time to boil the water? I bet that would work on some tests, but this kid is going in for a proper lab test. Granted the fact that he will piss totally dirty; it might give him a chance. However, I'm sure prisons use cheap litmus-paper type tests while a real lab will look a bit closer at the piss and might wonder why it is loaded with iodine.

I do like your idea as yet another option. Let me add that I have heard some people say they just dip a finger in bleach and enough is absorbed into the skin that you can then dip that finger into the piss cup and enough bleach will dissolve from skin to the piss and destroy the traces of THC. I bet bleach may be accessible to some prisoners in prison and, if this method works, it provides an "in house" chemical for destroying THC in a piss cup.

Now that I've said all that, I just had an idea. How about putting an entire tablet into a liter or two of water and drinking that about 6 hours before the test? It may be enough iodine to destroy the THC in your body.

 

[buckeye-leaf]

shit in the cup and say your retarded, get to be a special employee

 

[steppinRazor]

shit in the cup and say your retarded, get to be a special employee

ROFLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

hahaha damn man that was fuckin classic

 

[Stone]

That was some seriously funny shitlol...

Good thing Marcellas won't do it b/c it falls under the category of advise in this thread.

If they watch you, DILUTION (w/ JJScorpio's directions)

If they don't, SUBSTITUTION (any damn way you can get it in & warm)

Good Luck...

 

[Echoes]

The urine they send with the urinator is real powdered human urine, and will work in lab drug screens. You can also buy a kit with powdered urine and a heat pad etc for a fraction of the price of the urinator (just with no fake cock

I dont suggest synthetic urine for a lab drug screen, from what I have heard it is easy to detect.

Not trying to nitpick here but it isn't real powdered human urine. It is synthetic urine that is designed to be identical to human urine (minus the DNA.) You can purchase the artificial urine without purchasing the Whizzinator, in fact I suggest this as it saves a lot of money. I'd assume the same goes for the Urinator. The fake dick is mostly for people who have supervised urine tests (probation, pro sports, etc) and it'll work just fine without it. Simply pre-mix your urine powder as directed and store it in a condom or perhaps a label-less medicine bottle. Tape it so it sits in between your legs and strap the glove warmers over it (I'd also suggest just getting the glove warmers from Walmart or something, I think it's cheaper.) Allow it to sit there at least 30 minutes to an hour before the test so that it gets near body temperature.

Also, the website (Whizzinator) states: "This urine has been extensively tested by several laboratories using Ames Multistix, EMIT and gas chromatography methods and full spectrum urinalysis methods." I've heard from a few people that it works and I have a vial of it myself in case I ever need it. I landed my old job without taking a drug test though they say when signing up you agree to take one and they have the "right" to test you in case of suspicion or injury at work (for insurance purposes.) However, they had a policy where if you tested positive you could wait like a year or something and try again. Best Buy probably isn't as merciful. I wasn't tested for my current job either but they said the same stuff. However, they'd look out for me there because most of them smoke themselves.


@Marcellas - I can't believe you're continuing to smoke the day before your drug test, man. Get a hold of yourself and put the pot down for a few days and flush/detox or whatever. If you're really serious about this job you would've already stopped. A friend of mine used to work for Geek Squad and they're pretty serious about positive drug test results. This means you won't get the job and probably never will if you continue to sabotage yourself. Who knows, it may already be too late. Good luck, though.

 

[SwissBliss]

Thank God I found this thread in time.... I used to work for best buy..


First off let me state that Marcellas.... man you got some issues. No offense, I have always liked you in the past, but goddamn man, you are seriously like my little brother. No responsibility, no sense of accountability. As many have said before, if you knew you were up for the job, you should have quit smoking when you realized that you were a prospective employee and/or you found out that they drug test. And you CERTAINLY should have stopped smoking and started preparing when they gave you a drug test date, NOT continued to smoke, jesus what the fuck are you thinking. You are like those fucking kids who are on cnn claiming they are addicted to MJ. WTF MAN?!?!?!

Ok, now that that is out of the way (although I can't understate your stupidity...), you need to stop smoking now. Even though what I am about to tell you (and I know you are not going to stop..) means you will be good, you need to stop to prove that you have even a shred of self discipline...

I was employed with BestBuy for a year in 03-04. I was an idiot back then and got fired for some stupid shit (got caught on camera selling pot and acid) but still was wise enough to stop smoking before the test. It is actually a private firm, and they do not watch you whatsoever. You go inside a private bathroom, they tell you not to turn on the sink or flush, and you piss, and then slide the sample through a tiny window. Too easy.. So all you need to do is get some clean piss, a heat pack, and a condom. Or if you are worried if they are gonna watch you, next day air a wizzinator from ebay and you will never have to worry about this situation again. Also, be glad to know they only drug test once, unless you stab somebody with a forklift or something. It sounds like you will be a warehouse worker, prob. making 8 bucks or so an hour. Good luck man, I hope everything works out for you. Post or PM me with any other questions...

~SB~

 

[roadrcr]

He

He

Dont want the job or is just yagging our chains.

 

[BonsaiBud]

OK Marcellas. I've got a solution for you. You need clean piss and you need it fast. You don't know ANYONE who you can get it from because everyone you know does drugs.

Craigslist personals: "men seeking men"
Yup. You simply put up an add stating: "young bicurious seeking golden shower from a CLEAN sober stud"

No car? No problem. Some dude will gladly come pick you up and take you to his place for the gay watersports.
4:00 AM ? No problem. Some gay dude will have just gotten back from the bar and will be super lonely.

Hey man. If you want the job you need to do whatever it takes.

 

[melvin2]

SUBSTITUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines (from another forum)

SUBSTITUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines (from another forum)

I did not compile this information. A guy named IamN2pot on the cannabis.com message board gets the credit for this.

SUBSTITUTION: Tips, tricks and guidelines by N2

Invest a few bucks in a human digital thermometer. They are fast and accurate. I cannot over emphasize the importance of PRACTICE, PRACTICE, and PRACTICE!!! If you use condoms, be sure you use NON-lubricated condoms and rinse the condom to remove the powder from it. You can also use a well rinsed, 2 oz shampoo bottle (travel size). Now that you have your digital thermo and condoms/shampoo bottle, start practicing by filling your chosen container with 105 degree water. If using a condom, fold the loaded condom over the tip of the digital thermo to take its temp. If using a plastic bottle, place the tip of the thermometer directly into the water. Place the bottle/condom in your crotch. (Two pair of tighty whity’s holds it in place better and adds extra insulation to maintain the temp) In my experience, I find the water/pee container crotched inside your briefs, cools at a rate of about 1 degree every 2-3 minutes until it stabilizes at about 94-98 degrees. DO NOT plan on using toilet/bathroom water to cool it down. Most testing joints color their toilet water blue to foil using it, and if they hear you turn on the sink water or flush the john before you give them your sample, they may require you to re-submit or fail you. If your sample is to warm when you get it in the cup, simply swish it around in the cup while you blow on it. You can cool it at a rate of about 1 degree every 30 seconds, but don't over do it. PRACTICE! You can't re-warm it at that point. In the reverse, I find I can warm a substitute urine product from my pocket temp of 85-88 to 96-98 in about 20 minutes with body heat by crotching the container. The test cup temp strip is attached to the cup just like they are stuck to the side of a fish aquarium. The temp strip will read from 90-100 (some non-DOT require 94-100) so you can see your pee temp and cool it if necessary before you give it to the collector. One more tip. If you are using a condom, I don't tie the end of the condom. It is too risky in my humble opinion (IMHO) to try to puncture it to get your pee out. I take the condom with my 2+ ounces of pee in it and give it a spin, like you would a bread bag. Then double it over itself and use a wire tie (trash bag/bread bag type tie) with the ends rolled over them selves (to prevent puncture) and twist it tight to close the condom. To empty your condom, simply untwist the wire tie and let the condom untwist. Then place the open end of the condom in the cup and empty it. Check the temp on the side of the cup, and give it to the collector. Once again let me say PRACTICE. Practice carrying it in your crotch, practice emptying it into the cup, etc, just practice.

Men: IMHO the best place/way to crotch and carry the 2oz shampoo bottle/condom is to place it between your scrotum and anus. If you have any question as to where this spot is, stand up with your feet shoulder width apart. Reach down with your hand and cup your testicals. Note where your bird and ring fingers are touching. That is where you want to carry the bottle. It this position I find you can carry on about your activities normally while maintaining a 94-95 degree sample temp. To raise the sample temp to 97-98, simply sit down and cross you legs so that the container is enclosed between your thighs. It about 10-15 minutes the sample will warm to body temp, 97-98.

Women: You can of course carry a substitute sample the same as the men, but post by females write that it is also easy to carry the bottle inside your vaginal cavity, where it will maintain a 98 degree sample temp or you can use two 1oz bottles and place one under each breast, held in place with a well padded bra for added insulation in maintaining the temp.

Please remember that these suggestions are just guidelines and may need to be slightly modified to suit your particular need and comfort. The key to successfully substituting is to PRACTICE.

I need to add that for human urine, the sample should be used within 8 hours at room/body temp. If you need to store it longer, it can be kept frozen in an air tight container for up to 1 year. To thaw and warm, use warm water. N2

 

[Marcellas]

i was considering taking a shit in the cup and saying i didnt know, i couldnt pee.. haha but i didnt go to my test. i didnt smoke before i WOULDVE went, but I knew I smoke way to much weed anyways and I was fucked.. its okay i can find a good job that pays $8.25 like BestBuy or more.

 

[Hovz]

Where i live the smokeshop sells formula 420 that cleans ur system if u drink it 2 hours before the u.a. but it only works if you follow the instructions exactly. They also sell this synthetic piss called ez-fix and it has a thermometer sticker right on the bottle and you just duct tape it to your inner thigh with a hand warmer it comes with and make sure the thermometer shows green when you squeeze it into the cup, because it has to be the right temperature or they will know its fake, if its too hot you just put it on some cold tile for a moment until it turns green. Also you can buy the whizzinator if they watch you piss. Everyone i know just goes and buys ez-fix for 30 bucks whenever they have to take a u.a. , sorry kinda late info but maybe it can help somehow

 

[Vash]

OK Marcellas. I've got a solution for you. You need clean piss and you need it fast. You don't know ANYONE who you can get it from because everyone you know does drugs.

Craigslist personals: "men seeking men"
Yup. You simply put up an add stating: "young bicurious seeking golden shower from a CLEAN sober stud"

No car? No problem. Some dude will gladly come pick you up and take you to his place for the gay watersports.
4:00 AM ? No problem. Some gay dude will have just gotten back from the bar and will be super lonely.

Hey man. If you want the job you need to do whatever it takes.

LMAO.......that's the only thing I could do. That's a good one, BB. Raises a lot of questions about you, though, my friend, which I ain't got a damn thing to do with so I ain't goin' there. I will give you props for the laugh, though. I'm in tears!!

 

[metamorf]

As I said at the beginning of the thread: Plenty of McGayver suggestions here ;D

 

[Shlomo]

Fuck piss tests. Here in BC they're trying to get mandatory drug tests on some union construction sites, but realistically as soon as this gets challenged in court as an unreasonable invasion of privacy, that shit is out the window. Canada rocks!

If I had to test and someone told me at the test that they were going to watch me piss, I would squirt it in their face. Taste test, beotch!