Okay, so we are fucked. She has two tumors in her left lung and multiple low-density tumors in her liver. This makes her a Stage IV patient and from what I am reading, her expectations are to not be around for Christmas.
I am absolutely devastated.
I know, I know. I've talked about her end-stage emphysema here and on other boards extensively and I knew she didn't have a whole lot of time left, but to get slapped in the face with this one was just terrible. She is scared and broke my heart by saying she is not ready to die. What can you say to that? We have had 29 years together. 29 of them. We raised 6 kids and we have the 11 grandkids and now it is time to pay the man and nobody wants to anty up in this game.
I will start a grow today but I will have to figure out how to get the necessary meds in the near-term for the hemp oil treatments and other use. I don't want her to smoke it as that will irritate her lungs more and we don't need that I think, but I read the research on the effectiveness of pot on Small Cell Lung Cancer that has gotten out of control and is not expected to respond to chemo. So it is what it is.
I'm dying a little today. I don't have the words to make her know it is going to be okay. She is worried about me being alone in this big house with all the bills and the whole nine yards. I think I have a hard year ahead of me.