Dog the Bounty Hunter canned

[Stoner4Life]

Dog Chapmans Freak Show.......

Dog Chapmans Freak Show.......

I'll gladly take my personal grievances out on him here.

(1) WTF is with all the accoutrements (beads, feathers, ribbons, and other shyt) in his hair? Isn't he done playing dress up in mommies closet yet?

(2) Although he is a 'bounty hunter' he's ALSO the bail bondsman too. He does this so that his show never runs out of so called 'bad guys/gals.' So the whole time he's telling us what a bad mofo he's going after & how dangerous he/she is....... DOG is the mother fvcker that bonded out that scumbag in the first place....... BULLSHIT!

(3) He down talks the people he goes after & then comforts them with that 'always too late' fatherly advice crap. He ellicits his own tears quite often too....... this is so easily done if you think about it. I'd be crying too if if at the end of the day I had to go home with that bytch beast (Beth) wife of his, yes it'd be quite easy to cry for those cameras.......

(4) He's hiding something (maybe just his ugliness) behind those glasses but I think it's the fact that he's a pill popper or speed freak. And I don't know about you guys but I can literally smell that freak right through my TV set. He reeks of 3 day old shorts, greazey hair, sweat, stale cigarette smoke, and not enough Old Spice. I've always prayed (now no need to worry) that he not yank off those stinky asssed cowboy boots of his.

(5) A completely disfunctional family imo.......
why air your family business out on national TV?

(6) He's a fvcking racist to boot!

 

[NOKUY]

^^^^agreed....and I dont care what anyone says ....but cowboy boots and an 'extreme mullet" automatically make you racist.

 

[Jack D Ripper]

(2) Although he is a 'bounty hunter' he's ALSO the bail bondsman too. He does this so that his show never runs out of so called 'bad guys/gals.' So the whole time he's telling us what a bad mofo he's going after & how dangerous he/she is....... DOG is the mother fvcker that bonded out that scumbag in the first place....... BULLSHIT!

I didnt realize that, what a phony.

I was always hoping that he'd whip out his mace and get shot by some gangsta... but I guess he knows exactly who hes going after. I wouldnt be surprised if it was even more staged that that though... like the perp is in cahoots with the Dog.

 

[Stoner4Life]

I didnt realize that, what a phony.

I was always hoping that he'd whip out his mace and get shot by some gangsta... but I guess he knows exactly who hes going after. I wouldnt be surprised if it was even more staged that that though... like the perp is in cahoots with the Dog.

yup, it's true. he owns 'DaKine Bail Bonds' company, first he bails 'em, then he jails 'em. a vicious circle that keeps his show going constantly. He VERY likely bails out offenders that he KNOWS he'll be chasing down later, again more fodder for the show.......

Oh Gawd....... I'm getting an idea! check my next post in this thread in about ten minutes. I need to call my lawyer on the legality of it! BRB you guys.......

 

[Stoner4Life]

OK, my lawyer states: Please don't use the word "dead" in that post. So here we go.......

I'm posting a 'Notice of Bounty' on that fvcking mullet!

..........................WANTED!............................
.......................Shed or Alive!.........................
............THAT MULLET! The 'Dogs' Mullet.............

Let all who can read this notice be informed that there is now a bounty upon the Duane 'Dog' Chapmans mullet. No bodily harm must come to his person with the exception of that very offending skanky head of hair.
He's known to carry mace pepper spray so be careful! It's well known that calling his bluff and shouting, "Drop the hairspray BYTCH!" while advancing toward him usually gets him to wet his shorts and cower. Be careful of that aqua lunged bytch wife of his Beth, those slammery glands can knock a guy clean off his feet if she gets the 'drop' on ya.

..........................REWARD!...........................
.....10 Beans of any variety, you pick & I'll pay for them.....
DO NOT try bringing in last yrs Dog Chapmans Mullet Halloween costume wig either.

 

[TNTBudSticker]

^^^^agreed....and I dont care what anyone says ....but cowboy boots and an 'extreme mullet" automatically make you racist.

Just Because you have a Mullet

It's all business in the front and its party time in the back.....

Thats the reason for a mullet...Front-long back ?


Cant do the time..dont do the crime...f**k em...but he bails them out


Last I heard...The son sold some newsy about DoG himself

Probably nothing compared to catching someone and saying all the nasties that goes along with the 5th amendment when he's looking for a low-life thug

"So I caught your ugly looking stupid running crackhead for 4 months and your midgeted foot left ugly trails of stupid smelly ****ed up disfigured marks"

throw in the "N" word.. so what? Better than teargas


That wouldnt offend me at all...sometimes its the ONLY way to talk to them..

HAHA..have it for breakfast every morning

 

[Ganico]

throw in the "N" word.. so what? Better than teargas


That wouldnt offend me at all...sometimes its the ONLY way to talk to them..

HAHA..have it for breakfast every morning

What the ****?

 

[TNTBudSticker]

^^^^^

LOL..that was funny!!

 

[Ganico]

Not really

 

[Yummybud]

remember last episode I saw this crackhead was screaming "help somebody, get the real police here "

and dog says " shut your mouth, I'm as real as can be you mohta ****a"

lol even the crackhead thinks dog is a crackhead trying to kidnap him or something, how ironic.

 

[FRANKENBLUNT420]

OK, my lawyer states: Please don't use the word "dead" in that post. So here we go.......

I'm posting a 'Notice of Bounty' on that fvcking mullet!

..........................WANTED!............................
.......................Shed or Alive!.........................
............THAT MULLET! The 'Dogs' Mullet.............

Let all who can read this notice be informed that there is now a bounty upon the Duane 'Dog' Chapmans mullet. No bodily harm must come to his person with the exception of that very offending skanky head of hair.
He's known to carry mace pepper spray so be careful! It's well known that calling his bluff and shouting, "Drop the hairspray BYTCH!" while advancing toward him usually gets him to wet his shorts and cower. Be careful of that aqua lunged bytch wife of his Beth, those slammery glands can knock a guy clean off his feet if she gets the 'drop' on ya.

..........................REWARD!...........................
.....10 Beans of any variety, you pick & I'll pay for them.....
DO NOT try bringing in last yrs Dog Chapmans Mullet Halloween costume wig either.

YOUR THE MAN I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ARE !!!!!!!MUHAHHHHAHHHHAHAHH

 

[FRANKENBLUNT420]

Just Because you have a Mullet

It's all business in the front and its party time in the back.....

Thats the reason for a mullet...Front-long back ?


Cant do the time..dont do the crime...f**k em...but he bails them out


Last I heard...The son sold some newsy about DoG himself

Probably nothing compared to catching someone and saying all the nasties that goes along with the 5th amendment when he's looking for a low-life thug

"So I caught your ugly looking stupid running crackhead for 4 months and your midgeted foot left ugly trails of stupid smelly ****ed up disfigured marks"

throw in the "N" word.. so what? Better than teargas


That wouldnt offend me at all...sometimes its the ONLY way to talk to them..

HAHA..have it for breakfast every morning

man WTF are you yammering on about with this swill?!?!? HEY STONER4LIFE, NOW HERES A "PUTZY CHOOCH" IF I EVER SAW ONE!!! ROFLMAO

 

[BadKarma]

Bondsman are a good thing. They get your ass out of jail while awaiting your trial. In our system they are probably the ONLY ones who practice " Innocent until proven guilty". After reading the post here I see many of you don't believe in innocent until proven guilty.

Next time you need a $50,000 bond who you going to call? Id call Dog or someone like him because unlike your "friends" he will actually come get your ass out of jail.

 

[Jack D Ripper]

a bondsman doesnt give a **** if you rot in jail... they just want their 10% and a lien on your momma's house.

bondsmen are scum, just another cog in the machine

 

[BadKarma]

a bondsman doesnt give a **** if you rot in jail... they just want their 10% and a lien on your momma's house.

bondsmen are scum, just another cog in the machine

Like I said have one of your "friends "pony up the 50k. Good Luck

 

[Jack D Ripper]

I never claimed to have friends with 50k to bail me out... just saying that the bondsman cares about 1 thing: money$

he makes 10% no matter what, an easy 5k if you ask me
he has NO risk, becasue he wont bail you out without a lien on a house
if you run and get caught, he gets the house AND his 50k back

its a win/win/win situation for that duchebag

 

[BadKarma]

Bullshit ive made a bond just like that no lein on anything.

EDIT Ive made several bonds like that.

The one who ****s your mother is you when you run. Not the bondsman.
Thats sad you would bemnd your own mother over like that.

 

[Jack D Ripper]

I doubt your bail was 50k then...

from wikipedia:

"For large bail amounts, bondsmen can generally obtain security against the assets of the defendant or persons willing to assist the defendant. For example, for a $100,000 bond for a person who owns a home, the bondsman would charge $10,000 and take a mortgage against the house for the full penal sum of the bond."

another interesting fact...

"Bail bondsmen are almost exclusively found in the United States. In most other countries bail is usually more modest and the practice of bounty hunting is illegal."

bail bondsmen want your $$, they dont give a **** about "innocent until proven guilty"

 

[BadKarma]

The one who ****s your mother is you when you run. Not the bondsman.
Thats sad you would bend your own mother over like that.
And Yes as an upstanding member of my comunity I have made 2 40k bond with 10%down.

Oh sorry you ****in used wikipedia and we call know thats the #1 source of info on this friggin forum.

 

[Jack D Ripper]

The one who ****s your mother is you when you run. Not the bondsman.
Thats sad you would bemnd your own mother over like that.

omg, I never looked at it that way. youre right.

The bail bondsman/bountyhunter is a champion of liberty!

edit: wikipedia is a lot more valid than some jerk claiming "This one time when I was in jail..." which seems to be the only argument youve made so far