I was the same way when I first tried defoliating.Frank the best advice I could give on defoliation is don't be afraid to start plucking!
Do a little at a time until you get comfortable, or if you're feeling brave clean them up real good all at once. Either way the plants recover and within a few days the remaining leaves adjust, and the canopy is full again. You can start like you mentioned... Big fan leaves first that are obviously blocking lots of light. A few days later after they adjust you'll see which other leaves need to go. For me this continues all throughout flowering right up until harvest. I'm almost always plucking a leaf or two any time I'm in there working.
That's mostly all I do, but there are other ways I'll defoliate sometimes for purposes other than penetration. I have a headband about to go into flower that just loves to stretch and I'm aiming to not let it. Then there's the snow monkey a week in that I'm undecided on what to do with. I'll post up in my thread and the snow monkey thread some before and afters.
I was the same way when I first tried defoliating.
I've since learned to be ruthless. Otherwise I'm constantly removing leaves.
My garden is perpetual so I'm constantly removing leaves anyways, but judging from your pics I'd say we defoliate about the same.
EDIT - Actually looking again I think I'm probably heavier handed with it. Not sure I can see any signs of defoliation on some of you plants tbh. Maybe I'm looking at the wrong pics?
However - thank you all - for your support. For your encouragement. For your wisdom. For your patience and understanding. For community. Thank you. Sincerely. I F.U.C.K.I.N.G. love this place. It is my home. It is the only place I am me.
It's an honor to share what I do...with all of you.
dank.Frank