Dealing with transitions

[Im'One]

I think the biggest challenge with retirement, even more so than finding a way to occupy your time, is coming to terms with the fact that you aren’t needed. Whether you’re Bill Gates or a part-time plumber, the world will keep on running without you, and that can be a terrifying/depressing thought to deal with. In a way it can be liberating, because it grants us a sort of freedom, but that is easy to overlook when you’re trying to deal with the idea that you really have no purpose and the world would be the same without you.

Thats true and leads to all kinds of weird behavior...if not dealt with. I can keep busy with my horse and garden, maybe even play a little music with friends. I thought if i get too bored I could always foster some rescue puppies.

 

[BlueBlazer]

Here's a shot of my retirement buddy. I got him the same year I retired. He did a couple photo shoots for American Greetings. This was from one of them. He was on a number of both American Greetings and Hallmark holiday cards.

Devilishly cute dog you have there.

 

[Ringodoggie]

LOL.. Thanks.

 

[Teddybrae]

Hey, listen ... I 'm stoned and slow and it's the end of the day for me ... And when I read yr post I think I 'm reading "enmeshed".

Enmeshed in a Family Script written by Ancestors for today's Actors.

For me Transitioning from normal to retired took a long time. I had this idea that my Role in my Family was a very important one. The Play, the Family Psychodrama, could not continue without me. So the lines of the Script said.

That meant I had to change how the Script taught that I should think about myself. I had to give up some of my Ego. I had to give up the part that told me enacting the Ancestors stuff was honorable, worthy, noble.

I see now that the Family Script and the Ego are the same thing. That the past experiences of my Ancestors informs my Thoughts. I am chained to stories of the Past that inform my actions today.

To my mind, what you imagine doing is very hard and takes a lot of time. Someone who does what you want must put the brakes on a lifetime of behaviours ...and come up with something new!

Well I probably have at least 7 years to retirement, but probably need to sell the farm. I need to get an IRA going or I'm going to pay taxes out the ass. Just crap like that. Letting go of dreams and expectations regarding the family farm and Dad's estate bullshit? That's the tough part. Mom (administrator) and my brother have circled the wagons and refused to do any of the fiduciary obligations and I'm just not going to court over it. I'm better off just forgetting any of that...and paddling my own canoe the best I can.

 

[Im'One]

Hey, listen ... I 'm stoned and slow and it's the end of the day for me ... And when I read yr post I think I 'm reading "enmeshed".

Enmeshed in a Family Script written by Ancestors for today's Actors.

For me Transitioning from normal to retired took a long time. I had this idea that my Role in my Family was a very important one. The Play, the Family Psychodrama, could not continue without me. So the lines of the Script said.

That meant I had to change how the Script taught that I should think about myself. I had to give up some of my Ego. I had to give up the part that told me enacting the Ancestors stuff was honorable, worthy, noble.

I see now that the Family Script and the Ego are the same thing. That the past experiences of my Ancestors informs my Thoughts. I am chained to stories of the Past that inform my actions today.

To my mind, what you imagine doing is very hard and takes a lot of time. Someone who does what you want must put the brakes on a lifetime of behaviours ...and come up with something new!

Thank you! I believe in that too, I studied and was treated by a shrink with cognitive therapy years ago.
It's tough and may require some time but it's what I must do...write my own script.

 

[flylowgethigh]

After I retired, I bought an office building and had it all furnished and setup just like a real office. Except, I was the only one there. LOL I would literally come in and sit at a desk with a phone (land line) that WASN'T EVEN HOOKED UP OR WORKING. LMAO

I would sit there and look at the phone and listen to music. After a while, it wore off and I started getting into other things. I reverse engineered the DTV SATV card and got busted. Reversed the DISH Network SATV card and didn't get busted. LOL Trained dogs. Played rock and roll. Now, I am getting ready to move to sunny Southern California to complete my retirement.

Sand, sunshine and young half naked pussy. That's retirement for me.


.

I can't just walk past that post without asking what it was you did before retiring that made you have to go to "work" everyday? Congrats on getting things done. I have a ton of toy projects and am too lazy to touch them.

And good luck in SoCal. I had to leave in 79 because the place just wasn't fun anymore.

 

[Teddybrae]

I see your post and wonder what your age is. I 'm into my seventies and it's not laziness that has got me ... it's just that I can't be bothered.
I mean I 've been watching shit go down now for a long time and nothing changes. We're not 'advancing' as a society. We're just making the same mistakes over and over again ... but with different colours or different names but it's still the same old shit.
And the harder one tries, the more things turn out the opposite. In the long run, anyway.
So maybe yr not Lazy. Maybe you're just recognising how fukn futile individual human efforts really are!!!

I can't just walk past that post without asking what it was you did before retiring that made you have to go to "work" everyday? Congrats on getting things done. I have a ton of toy projects and am too lazy to touch them.

And good luck in SoCal. I had to leave in 79 because the place just wasn't fun anymore.

 

[flylowgethigh]

Oh believe me I am very aware of how badly things are going with our country, and have been for 15 years. This bearishness has cost me a real fortune in lost opportunities but I don't care. As for being lazy, yeah I turn 65 this month and doing things is just a lot harder than it used to be.

Maybe being stoned all the time isn't helping much either.

As for the OP, and anyone else... remember the phrase: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"?

 

[Im'One]

Oh believe me I am very aware of how badly things are going with our country, and have been for 15 years. This bearishness has cost me a real fortune in lost opportunities but I don't care. As for being lazy, yeah I turn 65 this month and doing things is just a lot harder than it used to be.

Maybe being stoned all the time isn't helping much either.

As for the OP, and anyone else... remember the phrase: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"?

I'm going to be 60 as I said and I still enjoy puttering about and don't question my self quite as much as I used to. I would love to have more time for fun stuff but the truth is I'm thinking of how the hell I'm going to afford to retire in 5 to 7 years. I'm kind of pissed about it honestly.

 

[flylowgethigh]

You need to get pissed off my friend. I am repeating myself here but a Trust is a legal entity and MUST be done right. If you do not have a copy get one, you are entitled as a trustee. I can see them not wanting to break up a farm, but they need to do something I would think. As much as I hate them except for the lawyer I have on just in case retainer, you may want to talk with one yourself.

 

[Im'One]

You need to get pissed off my friend. I am repeating myself here but a Trust is a legal entity and MUST be done right. If you do not have a copy get one, you are entitled as a trustee. I can see them not wanting to break up a farm, but they need to do something I would think. As much as I hate them except for the lawyer I have on just in case retainer, you may want to talk with one yourself.

We been there done that,
Wound up paying huge amounts of money out of my pocket and mom used the funds from the estate to fight. Before going to court I ran out of money. Lawyers don't want to do this in percentage.
So I have been mad for ten years. I managed to get a copy of the trust and enough from her to pay back my self for legal fees and I'm don't want to go there anymore. Anger is getting toxic and i need to move on.

 

[Teddybrae]

Yep. We're back to 'enmeshed'. You gotta leave that Family. Fuck the Lawyers.
We had a bountiful 'dole' in this country that let me take the Family bush and do our own thing thousands of miles from our Ancestors. We were broke but NO STRESS!
What's welfare like where you are? Shit, I suppose. cos it's the US.
How much a week do you need to live on? Where is low cost housing? Have you the skills to grow a vege garden? Join a Community.

Lots of my reluctance to leave the straight world came down to conditioning. I just couldn't imagine how to live differently.
Anyway, much encouragement from me! Analyse what your needs are and trim your life down to those needs. You'd be surprised how well you can get along with little money.

We been there done that,
Wound up paying huge amounts of money out of my pocket and mom used the funds from the estate to fight. Before going to court I ran out of money. Lawyers don't want to do this in percentage.
So I have been mad for ten years. I managed to get a copy of the trust and enough from her to pay back my self for legal fees and I'm don't want to go there anymore. Anger is getting toxic and i need to move on.

 

[Im'One]

Wife snd i have fairly good jobs in Oklahoma and we are fairly rural. We have a nice home, modest but plenty enough for two, next town over
building a new hospital, we have good jobs with a small pension after we retire plus we both can double dip social security, we have five acres, a shop, a garden and a couple of vehicles nearly paid off. So we can do this.
Thanks for your support and advice.