What's new
  • ICMag with help from Landrace Warden and The Vault is running a NEW contest in November! You can check it here. Prizes are seeds & forum premium access. Come join in!

DEALING WITH TELEMARKETERS: HINTS FROM ANDY ROONEY

FRIENDinDEED

A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A . . .
Veteran
this in my email the other day and thought i would share it with those who dont already know a "alternative" to dealing with telemarketers and junk mail.

hints from Andy Rooney

(1)"Hold On, Please..." Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help: When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment.�Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away. When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 41 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away!

The postage was 39 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that ase, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in thes e cool little, postage-paid return envelopes. One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 41 cents. The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice! Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea! If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore. THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS!
 

Linenoise

Member
I began doing these things a couple months ago. For added excitement I like to shred up my junk mail into confetti and stuff it in the envelopes. It makes it heavier and it makes a nice little mess when they open them. :)
 

lc00p4

STORM-TROOPA
Veteran
i like to fart or burp when i answer telemarketer calls. those are some really good ideas and i think some enjoyment is to be had...
 
If a Telemarketer has a sexy voice ill start hitting on them."Yeah, i might be interested, but tell me, what are you wearing right now honey?" funny as hell when i puit on speaker and my friends and wife listen in.Actually had one woman give me her phone #.LOL
 

genkisan

Cannabrex Formulator
Veteran
I worked in telemarketing for 13 months.....made over 110 000 calls (all in a heavy Indian accent).

Best thing you can do (other than ask to be put on their "no-call list") is stop them dead in their tracks with something either totally in their face or totally whacked.

Such as:


1)
"What are ya sellin'"

in a rude and obnoxious voice, aggressive like. That was one that really stumped me at the beginning. I did learn to deal with it, but that's another story.

2)
"Can't talk right now, getting a blowjob....."

That will stop even most veteran sales reps dead in their tracks.

3)If they ask for someone's name, and you know they are a TM, tell them the guy they are asking for is dead/in jail. That fooks their pitch but good.

4)Again, if it is a business to business call....lead them on, let them think they have made the sale, and then tell them yo are the janitor or somesuch, and can't sign or authorize anything.

5)
Ok....enough with the phone schpiel...do you have crack? I want crack man...not yer stupid credit card or some shit.......GIMME CRACK you fookin' pencil-dick!!!!

That will git yer file removed from their list right quick.



It was a grueling job, and I'll never ever do it again, but I tell ya, I had some funny-ass times. Keeping yer sense of humor is the only way you kin survive thru 200 calls a day with a 1% sale rate.
 
Last edited:

FRANKENBLUNT420

me blunt is like, wicked yo!! owight
StarGatherer said:
If a Telemarketer has a sexy voice ill start hitting on them."Yeah, i might be interested, but tell me, what are you wearing right now honey?" funny as hell when i puit on speaker and my friends and wife listen in.Actually had one woman give me her phone #.LOL
Linenoise said:
I began doing these things a couple months ago. For added excitement I like to shred up my junk mail into confetti and stuff it in the envelopes. It makes it heavier and it makes a nice little mess when they open them. :)
TwoOhSix! said:
When telemarketers call my house I just say "Alo? NOOOO speaka englis heaaaaaaa"
They don't call back.
lc00p4 said:
i like to fart or burp when i answer telemarketer calls. those are some really good ideas and i think some enjoyment is to be had...
you all are "psychoticlly debacherous" and i love it!!! :muahaha:
 

Linenoise

Member
genkisan said:
4)Again, if it is a business to business call....lead them on, let them think they have made the sale, and then tell them yo are the janitor or somesuch, and can't sign or authorize anything.

I did something similar to this. I used to act like a total idiot. Anything they asked me I said 'I dunno' or 'I'm not sure'. Sometimes I would mix it up and add in a 'It depends'.

Like when they asked who was in charge of X. I would say that it depends on what it is about. They would then explain in a little more detail and then I would say 'Hmm. I am not sure' or 'That's a good question.'

Most of the time they would just hang up on me. What they did not know is that I was doing them a favor. The office manager in our office is a real jerk to telemarketers. He usually responded to them with a 'Lose my ****ing number' or 'Don't ever ****ing call me again.'

I wouldn't speak like that to telemarketers. I just do not think you should be out right rude to people, even if they are annoying. Plus it goes back to my philosophy of not spreading negative vibes around if it can be helped.
 

Latest posts

Latest posts

Top