some funny commentary...
http://dickssaythefunniestthings.bl...er-and-no-one-else-on.html?zx=e11256535577e53
"Next week is the best week to live in San Francisco all year, because all the assholes with parrots, lizards, or snakes on their shoulders, or that one asshole that rides a giant unicycle around, or that Mad Max-looking bitch with the Kevlar-plated laptop, are all away at Burning Man and we don't have to deal with the pretentious bullshit that comes with that whole crowd. I wish I could drop a nuke and turn that ridiculous Utopian playground into a sea of glass, so I might be able to once again stand in line at a taqueria without having to hear about the subtle intricacies of fire-spinning. Oh, and for the record, any adult that hula-hoops should be shot in the face with a cannon that shoots fire ants. And fire."
Topper Holiday - September 2, 2010 - 9:28am:
"I mean, what the fuck is up with hula hoops with fucking tin foil and florescent day-glo duct tape wrapped around them? And like, tassles. That shit is ridiculous. Seriously, you go listen to music and fucking HULA HOOP. What are you, five years old? No, you're not sexy, and there's people around you trying to dance to this shitty music you all love so much, and you're hitting them with your hula hoop. You're taking up a lot of space. Someone needs to sit you down and tell you in no uncertain terms, you're a fucking ASSHOLE."
Topper Holiday - September 2, 2010 - 10:05am:
"And don't get me started on fucking Fire Dancers. First of all, if you're a dude fire dancing then there's no hope for you. Just hurry up and die. And chicks think it's all sexy and shit - whatever. Whenever I see you sluts throwing that shit in the air and spinning it around, I pray to whatever god that has been smiting me for all these years to please, PLEASE, for once, do me a solid and let some divine mishap involving kerosene and clumsiness engulf these flamers in ACTUAL FLAMES so I can watch them burn slowly with a couple marshmallows on a fucking stick. You are all potential SMORES to me. What's up god? WTF? Just this once."
Topper Holiday - September 2, 2010 - 10:58am
"And I know what fools are saying: there are so many hot chicks at Burning Man. There's hot chicks at the super market too, and that motherfucker is air conditioned. Half naked chicks running around showing their tits is all good in NOLA because (1.) I can buy a fucking frozen margarita and a poboy right over THERE, and, (2.) Bitches ain't up on drugs for four days in a fucking SAND STORM. You peeling four-day un-showered sand trap vagina? What is this, golf? Look shiny shirt guy, I'm married, so what the fuck I look like making small talk with some broad about shitty FOLK ART in a 110 degree DESERT, just for a bump of molly with some fucking SAND IN IT. No fucking thanks."
http://dickssaythefunniestthings.bl...er-and-no-one-else-on.html?zx=e11256535577e53
"Next week is the best week to live in San Francisco all year, because all the assholes with parrots, lizards, or snakes on their shoulders, or that one asshole that rides a giant unicycle around, or that Mad Max-looking bitch with the Kevlar-plated laptop, are all away at Burning Man and we don't have to deal with the pretentious bullshit that comes with that whole crowd. I wish I could drop a nuke and turn that ridiculous Utopian playground into a sea of glass, so I might be able to once again stand in line at a taqueria without having to hear about the subtle intricacies of fire-spinning. Oh, and for the record, any adult that hula-hoops should be shot in the face with a cannon that shoots fire ants. And fire."
Topper Holiday - September 2, 2010 - 9:28am:
"I mean, what the fuck is up with hula hoops with fucking tin foil and florescent day-glo duct tape wrapped around them? And like, tassles. That shit is ridiculous. Seriously, you go listen to music and fucking HULA HOOP. What are you, five years old? No, you're not sexy, and there's people around you trying to dance to this shitty music you all love so much, and you're hitting them with your hula hoop. You're taking up a lot of space. Someone needs to sit you down and tell you in no uncertain terms, you're a fucking ASSHOLE."
Topper Holiday - September 2, 2010 - 10:05am:
"And don't get me started on fucking Fire Dancers. First of all, if you're a dude fire dancing then there's no hope for you. Just hurry up and die. And chicks think it's all sexy and shit - whatever. Whenever I see you sluts throwing that shit in the air and spinning it around, I pray to whatever god that has been smiting me for all these years to please, PLEASE, for once, do me a solid and let some divine mishap involving kerosene and clumsiness engulf these flamers in ACTUAL FLAMES so I can watch them burn slowly with a couple marshmallows on a fucking stick. You are all potential SMORES to me. What's up god? WTF? Just this once."
Topper Holiday - September 2, 2010 - 10:58am
"And I know what fools are saying: there are so many hot chicks at Burning Man. There's hot chicks at the super market too, and that motherfucker is air conditioned. Half naked chicks running around showing their tits is all good in NOLA because (1.) I can buy a fucking frozen margarita and a poboy right over THERE, and, (2.) Bitches ain't up on drugs for four days in a fucking SAND STORM. You peeling four-day un-showered sand trap vagina? What is this, golf? Look shiny shirt guy, I'm married, so what the fuck I look like making small talk with some broad about shitty FOLK ART in a 110 degree DESERT, just for a bump of molly with some fucking SAND IN IT. No fucking thanks."
