What's the goofiest thing you've done while high?

[JustSumTomatoes]

Being a stoner brings with it many silly experiences... Anything from putting the milk back in the fridge along with the box of cereal, to loosing your car keys and searching for them for 15 minutes only to realize they've been in your hand the whole time (yes, I've done both.)

Feel free to share your own stories and anecdotes...

Here's one of my "finer" stoner experiences...

When I was a teenager my buddies mom was out of town for the weekend. This meant we were going to be getting very high, no doubt we did just that. After smoking many joints back to back and taking many bong rips we came up with the idea to make brownies. We had never done it before and were way too baked to think of looking up the proper method of doing it. In haste to get even more ripped we threw some canola oil in a pan and cranked up the heat on the stove to the highest setting and waited until it was hot.

This is where it starts to get fun... After smoking another doob we put the remaining weed (a little over a quarter) in the pan. POOF! All of the weed instantly went from green to black and a large cloud of smoke engulfed the whole kitchen. We immediately realized we had fucked up and tried to quickly breathe the smoke in as not to let any go to waste. At this point we were stoned stupid, I mean baked senseless.

After cleaning up the mess we made, the munchies set in pretty heavy. I found a large bucket of instant "super meal" noodles and asked my friend if I could make them. He said "sure dude!" Oh boy I thought, this is going to be amazing! I put them in the microwave and set the timer. After bullshitting for a few minutes and giggling over the mistake with the oil we started to smell something foul, like burnt styrofoam. We looked towards the microwave and saw smoke billowing out of it. Holy shit the noodles are on fire! My buddy thought quick and popped the flaming bucket out of the microwave and tossed it out the back door.

Luckily the microwave was not damaged, unlike the noodles. We opened up all the windows and doors in the house to vent out the noxious fumes. Now how in the world did a bucket of noodles catch on fire? Well my dumb ass forget one important ingredient in the preparation of instant noodles... WATER! So there you have it, I managed to fuck up pot brownies and instant noodles in the same night.

A few days later my friends mom came home and wanted to know why the kitchen smelled horrible. My friend told of how I sabotaged the noodles minus all the weed consumption and the brownies mishap. Good times.

 

[armedoldhippy]

i got stoned & went to the grocery store for my wife. wandered around aimlessly until i had most of the list. roll out into parking lot & tried for over twenty minutes to unlock her Ford, but my keys would NOT work. finally, a fellow walked up & asked "why are you trying to get in my car?" OOOPS! i had driven MY truck, instead of her Ford. glad he had a good sense of humor...

 

[Stoner4Life]

voting for Ronald Reagan???

 

[JustSumTomatoes]

voting for Ronald Reagan???

You deserve to be stoned to death. Pun intended.

 

[moose eater]

The inquiry covers a lot of bases, and a lot of years. So I'll go with recent history.

Coming out of the mountains pulling double sleds, and stopping to the side of the trail so my son could pull up alongside me and I could check my machine and inquire re. his.

My machine misses the pack on the far edge of the trail and lists sideways into several feet of fluff, maintaining a 30-35 degree list with 2 larger freight sled loads behind me.. With some effort, and the nearly 800 lb. beast still attached to the two loaded freight sleds, we get it back up on the pack, and I pop the cowling to check the transmission fluid stick to make sure there's no serious amount of metal shavings clinging to the magnetic tip that are a result of the trip..


I safely return the transmission stick to the transmission with my left hand, which has plenty of clearance from that angle. Then, with the motor still idling in neutral at about 1,500 rpm's, I reach in to 'double-check' the stick with my non-dominant right hand, that happens to come into that same opening at the wrong angle, and after checking the set on the tranny stick, I run my right-hand middle finger (mostly), and to a lesser degree, the two fingers to either side of it, into a ribbed clutch that's also turning at 1,500 rpm's.

Interfered with the 'necessary' gesticulation while driving for several days.

My mechanic asked me, just to get it straight, "You grabbed that clutch at 1500 rpm?! You can turn that off to check that stuff, you know...."

Snared by that old stoner's doubt. Did I do that right? Did I check that??

 

[Brother Nature]

Ronald Regan? Damn, that's a good one...

I've had a few more than I'd like to admit, but my personal favorite is the first time I ever smoked a 'cigarette'.

I had a friend at high school whose dad was a real proper stoner, he was a good guy the type that'd prefer we smoked his weed than get it from some dodgy fucker who would rip us off. Only issue was that his weed was really, really good. Good to the point his mum used to give me shit for coming around and smoking, "Everytime you come around you end up taking a nap, what's up with that?"

Anyways, she also used to smoke cloves (not the traditional type though, the American type that had filters and shit), which we basically thought of as cigarettes. One night we decided we'd try 'some tobacco', so he snuck upstairs after they'd gone to bed, took a clove and we proceeded to go outside to smoke it. This all took place after smoking a good half eighth of primo Jack Herer, mind you. So we get outside, in the pitch black and decide to light up. It's strange cause we've got to keep re lighting the thing and it just tastes terrible, we get to about 3-4 coughed out puffs and decide to give up, thinking how gross smoking is.

We get back inside, and my friend pulls out the cigarette to have one last look before he throws it away and it turns out we smoked the fucking thing backwards. I did take a positive out of it though, neither of us ever became tobacco smokers and to this day if I have a cigarette I automatically think of that moment and how gross and stupid it was.

 

[JustSumTomatoes]

Ronald Regan? Damn, that's a good one...

I've had a few more than I'd like to admit, but my personal favorite is the first time I ever smoked a 'cigarette'.

I had a friend at high school whose dad was a real proper stoner, he was a good guy the type that'd prefer we smoked his weed than get it from some dodgy fucker who would rip us off. Only issue was that his weed was really, really good. Good to the point his mum used to give me shit for coming around and smoking, "Everytime you come around you end up taking a nap, what's up with that?"

Anyways, she also used to smoke cloves (not the traditional type though, the American type that had filters and shit), which we basically thought of as cigarettes. One night we decided we'd try 'some tobacco', so he snuck upstairs after they'd gone to bed, took a clove and we proceeded to go outside to smoke it. This all took place after smoking a good half eighth of primo Jack Herer, mind you. So we get outside, in the pitch black and decide to light up. It's strange cause we've got to keep re lighting the thing and it just tastes terrible, we get to about 3-4 coughed out puffs and decide to give up, thinking how gross smoking is.

We get back inside, and my friend pulls out the cigarette to have one last look before he throws it away and it turns out we smoked the fucking thing backwards. I did take a positive out of it though, neither of us ever became tobacco smokers and to this day if I have a cigarette I automatically think of that moment and how gross and stupid it was.

Hahaha! I saw a friend do that once when we were totally stoned. Funniest damn thing ever!

 

[kaochiu]

Been a long time since I've got high enough to do goofy things, too much tolerance, but I remember this two visitor pretty girls in my cortijo, like 10-12 years ago. I cooked for them and opened the "special" top bud jars, chosen cuts of NL5Haze, Cheese and Bubblegum (kept them for years). We smoked in a volcano vap and then a hookah, and did get very high, so I had the cool idea of going for a horseride. They'd never seen a horse before and despite being very stoned I was acting like in command of the situation. Took the two easiest horses for them, saddled them up, helped them to climb, showed them how to hold the reins, measured their stirrups, secured their cinches and put them in line to go. Gave them the last "expert" advices, no doubt my tone was a scale up and my eyebrows looked affected. And athletically I jumped on my horse. Only I forgot to secure my own cinch and inertia did the rest, I fell like a sack of potatoes to the other side. In one second wasted the whole performance. In short, plenty laughs but no sex. Damned dope.

 

[JustSumTomatoes]

Been a long time since I've got high enough to do goofy things, too much tolerance, but I remember this two visitor pretty girls in my cortijo, like 10-12 years ago. I cooked for them and opened the "special" top bud jars, chosen cuts of NL5Haze, Cheese and Bubblegum (kept them for years). We smoked in a volcano vap and then a hookah, and did get very high, so I had the cool idea of going for a horseride. They'd never seen a horse before and despite being very stoned I was acting like in command of the situation. Took the two easiest horses for them, saddled them up, helped them to climb, showed them how to hold the reins, measured their stirrups, secured their cinches and put them in line to go. Gave them the last "expert" advices, no doubt my tone was a scale up and my eyebrows looked affected. And athletically I jumped on my horse. Only I forgot to secure my own cinch and inertia did the rest, I fell like a sack of potatoes to the other side. In one second wasted the whole performance. In short, plenty laughs but no sex. Damned dope.

Hahaha! I imagine riding a horse blazed would be pretty crazy. I know if you get caught riding a lawn mower drunk/high it's a DUI but what about a horse? What if the horse is drunk/high? Just a thought lol.

 

[kaochiu]

Yeah, DUI applies for horse rides. Mind you, a drunk person on a horse can create worse havoc than with a lawnmower. Going to the local festival all well combed riding your horse, getting steaming drunk and let the horse drive what's left of you back home is a classic. Luckily my path was through the dry river at some point before dawn, not a lot of police there.

 

[armedoldhippy]

Hahaha! I imagine riding a horse blazed would be pretty crazy. I know if you get caught riding a lawn mower drunk/high it's a DUI but what about a horse? What if the horse is drunk/high? Just a thought lol.

it's okay if the horse is shitfaced, the rider can't be though. they arrest a few every summer around here riding down the road fucked up as a wooly mammoth...

 

[WelderDan]

Went to a party and my lighter died. I smoked cigarettes at the time, so I kept bumming a light. At one point, I had an unlit cigarette in my mouth, a lit one in one hand, and a lighter (someone else's) in the other hand. I emptied my pockets the next day and had 6 lighters.

 

[JustSumTomatoes]

Went to a party and my lighter died. I smoked cigarettes at the time, so I kept bumming a light. At one point, I had an unlit cigarette in my mouth, a lit one in one hand, and a lighter (someone else's) in the other hand. I emptied my pockets the next day and had 6 lighters.

I'm guilty of nabbing lighters all too often without realizing it.

 

[JustSumTomatoes]

Oh here's another one... Picking up a bag and getting stoned with the dude who sold it to me only to realize when I got home that I forgot to pay for it lol! This has happened at least 3 different times that I can think of. Always ended with an apologetic phone call and a trip back with the money the next day. A good laugh for both of us.

 

[moose eater]

Hitch-hiking, later 1970s, near Kamloops, B.C., too many days of little sleep, and buzzed. Got out of the long-distance ride I'd gotten up near Teslin, Yukon Territory (all the way to Kamloops). Got out, said farewells, and as I watched the vehicle head out into nothingness, realized my mittens and sign were still in his vehicle.

Next stop? Sporting goods store for mittens, and a grocery store for a magic marker and some scrap cardboard.

I bet I donated several pairs of nice, cold-weather mittens to reefer-affected travel by thumb.

 

[moose eater]

Paying for my beer at the liquor store, then collecting my change, and heading promptly out the door, only to have the clerk, winded, come running up behind me with my beer.

"Sir, you forgot your beer!"

"Oh.. Um... Thanks..."

 

[JustSumTomatoes]

Paying for my beer at the liquor store, then collecting my change, and heading promptly out the door, only to have the clerk, winded, come running up behind me with my beer.

"Sir, you forgot your beer!"

"Oh.. Um... Thanks..."

Ha! One time (while we were all high of course) my buddy ordered some food at Burger King, paid for it, then drove off without the food lol. Being horrible friends we were giggling the whole time until he got on the highway and told him. He got off at the nearest exit and went back to get it. We all were laughing pretty hard about that one once he got his food.

 

[moose eater]

I drove off with the bank's drive-thru tube container once.

I called them up to admit my sin, thinking I'd probably shut down the lane at the bank.

Nope, they keep extras around just for folks like us..

I turned around and took it back to the drive-thru.

"Sorry 'bout that..."

 

[JustSumTomatoes]

I always wondered if ever anyone did that... now I know lol.

 

[moose eater]

16-17 years old, staying on an off-grid, self-sufficient homestead farm in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, not far from Lake Superior, with a fellow and his family who'd taken me in and given me work and a place to stay..

He and his wife were gone to a small town a ways away, to get feed for the critters.

I was left at the homestead with a couple younger kids, and the mentally disabled mid-50s aunt of his wife's.

Being relatively poor farmer hippies, always laboring, never hungry, but never wealthy either, we had very little ammunition laying around.

I went to the barn to sort through the outdated bread and snacks from the wholesale bread factory, etc., that we often fed the hogs from, and to feed the critters and milk the goats.

Got into the barn, and I could hear this scratching sound. Couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. Listened some more. Found a plump field mouse had somehow gotten into one of the 5-gallon grain buckets we used for the animals' feeding. The thing had apparently gotten into the bucket and eaten the grain that was stuck to the sides of the interior of the bucket, and was now too fat to get out.

Field mice are a farmer's enemy; they get into grain, etc., and cause havoc.

I hated holding anything in my hands to kill it, ever since my first time shooting a rabbit at age 11.

Seriously stoned to the bone, I went back to the cabin, and took the single-shot break-open Harrington & Richardson 12 gauge off the wall, reached into the tub that held the scant number of shells in it, selected a birdshot cartridge of perhaps an 8 or 6 value, then went hack to the barn.

I took the bucket a little ways from the barn, into the pasture, and after loading the shotgun, tipped the 5-gallon bucket over. The fattened mouse came running out of the bucket, seemingly thinking it had found freedom.

As soon as it was a safe distance from the edge of the bucket, I blasted the thing at fairly close range, leaving a small crater in the dirt, and -no- remnants of mouse. I'd apparently vaporized the thing.

I considered (after the fact, of course) that the fellow with whom I was staying would notice the missing cartridge. When the container only has a half-dozen shells or so in it, one missing stands out pretty well.

I confessed my silly transgressions a short while after they arrived home the next day or so, preferring to tell them, rather than to have them discover the cartridge had been used.

Despite the inconvenience of having someone in their home unnecessarily use something that cost money to replace, and might be a necessity in dealing with any number of problematic critters, they laughed about it for some time to come.

I was nicknamed, "The Great White Hunter."

That was the first AND the last time I used a 12 gauge on a mouse.

The up-side was it was quite effective.