Thought I would share an out there experience I had when I was younger.

[budsnblunts]

This is copy and pasted from something i wrote years ago when I was in a strange part of my life. I was extremely impacted by this experience and eventually went through a battle of mental health. I also believe I benefitted from this in the long run. Any way what are you guys thoughts on it? I bring it up being able to look at it with a new aspect.


I once contemplated the thought of thinking in another area of my mind. I wanted to try think in a lower more closer to the middle section of my brain ( because thoughts feel they conjure at the front of my forehead). I went about thinking this for many weeks. Thinking and feeling this thought was becoming more real and with each passing hour i spent inside my head it felt more plausible. Until one day it was about 11 pm. I was laying in bed, sitting in my head thinking of thinking.I have a black room in my head, my fortress, where I am able to do what I feel, from walk in straight lines to conjuring images. Well while I was in bed I have made a process for my brain to become more powerful, simply by shutting down other senses. I would shut my eyes and lay in the dark, one less lot of information coming into the brain. I would then have things as silent as possible thus shutting down my ears. The next thing would be to focus on my dark room until i felt disconnected from my body. Once I achieved this I started thinking of thinking in another section of my head. Now what had happen was this. I looked upon the back wall of my black room and thought can I push that wall down take a step down into the new area I want to think in. In that instant it felt as though I had slotted down into the center of my head, like taking two steps down the stairs. What I was viewing was a little table with a S figured statue in front of me. The S statue was black but had the most vivid white S in the center of it. It felt as though I could have picked it up. At that moment I felt dizzy and the walls were spinning (much as when you have drunk to much alcohol) I feared this feeling because i felt I was getting stuck here. Before I knew it i was shaking my head trying to get back to what ever reality was at the time. I have never been able to achieve that state again. I haven't talked to many people if anyone about this either. I do ponder on it as much as I can though. Anyone have anything similar ever happen?

 

[Teddybrae]

Much respect for sharing that!


Consciousness/self awareness is not like that for me. I swap between feeling and hearing my environment ... I cannot see or make images like you seem to be able to. I have no trouble tracking images but it's not my favoured way of interpreting the World.


As far as I understand Psychology it seems you were profoundly dissociated. Separated from your body in an imaginary way ... because in fact we can NEVER be separate from our bodies.


I dissociate when I have experienced a shock! Then I don't know what I 'm feeling and cannot find words to speak. I struggle to 'get a grip' on reality.

 

[budsnblunts]

I wasn't taught a great deal of coping mechanisms for some of the things we have to go through in life, same goes for alot of people. I have done some hard and long inward thinking, which twisted the way I perceived everything. But after all that i stay away from the deep dark room where i was once trapped for what felt like months on end. From that i appreciate what I have here on earth and really feel lucky for my experience, I live to teach, share and experience new things. I suppose we see the self conscious side differently due to our places in the world. But I'm sure there are things we all share that are similar and just another natural process of the human body. We recognize puberty and mid life crisis, menopause as natural processes but depression and certain manic disorders and states are looked at as though you and your mind are sick or broken. It creates stigma and and ugly vibe about it all. I've been learning that they come and go just as do most other times of life with feelings that are sometimes overwhelming. Cheers teddy.

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

- maybe you have experienced the difference between sanity and insanity - and have found that sanity is much more preferable - so reside on the sane side?

- to be able to really know the difference between what is sane and what is insane - you have to swim in both pools -

 

[White Beard]

I have not experienced *exactly* what you speak of, but I have performed many such exercises over the last 40 years. My comments from here relate to your post, but are from a more general perspective.

We are in fact much larger n the inside than we believe. Visual orientation tricks us over time into believing that our brains/minds work on the same level as our sight, but that’s a misperception. With that misperception, we begin to believe that we can’t perceive or be directly aware of the rest of the brain - or even of the insides of our bodies generally.

We are creatures built out of habits, and that habituation misleads us. Over time, it has the effect of limiting our thoughts and our awareness to our customary patterns, but these patterns can be come with attention: attention follows imagination, thought attaches to attention, and energy follows thought.

My version of your black box/room lies directly behind my eyes, in what feels like the center of my head: by turning my focus to it, I can fall asleep under virtually any conditions, or I can simply rest myself mentally. Similarly, by shifting focus intentionally we can become actively aware of the structures of the brain, both physiological and conceptual. At one point, I learned that I was able to ‘see’ in 360 degrees; at first I considered it a delusion, and found it disorienting, but as with any practice, I became comfortable with it and came to trust it, but as with anything, practice is necessary to maintain it.

During one period, I noticed that people - and animals especially - could become aware of me without seeing me and I began to apply myself to becoming ‘less detectable’...with the end result that became able to sneak up on dogs, and become invisible to wild animals (a fox passed within a foot of me, as if I were a tree, a bush, or a rock, which was my first such experience).

In addition to becoming aware of different ‘places’ inside the brain, I developed the ability to ‘feel’ my brain as a whole...which has its uses.

I understand that you went through some issues as a consequence, but please know that - however disorienting your experience may have been - it does not represent a mental breakdown; I am glad that you feel you have benefited from the experience and are more comfortable now.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

[D. B. Doober]

I've promised myself I'll never trip on shrooms or acid plenty of times while tripping on shrooms or acid
As Sgt. Barnes in Platoon said "what IS reality?"

 

[Teddybrae]

Here's quote from Richard Willhelm's I Ching that might be appropriate here.


"The power of inner concentration which religious contemplation develops in great men strong of faith enables them to apprehend the mysterious and divine laws of life ...
and by means of the profoundest inner concentration they give expression to these laws in their own persons.
Thus a hidden spiritual power emanates from them, influencing and dominating others without their being aware of how it happens."


As an unashamed marxist lefty commo bastard I wouldn't use language like 'dominate' myself ... but Willhelm's translation is almost 100 years old.

 

[White Beard]

Wilhelm’s is still a good translation - one of the best, IMO

 

[Sunshineinabag]

I woke up with garfield the cat on my chest

 

[budsnblunts]

Been really interesting reading your fullas replies, thanks alot. Has been nearly ten years since I was in this mind set. I give thanks to the bush and nature, what ever it might be but feels bloody good to acknowledge. I have had some pretty intense times since then but keep a firm grip on reality. As it keeps myself and my family happy. I still have that niggle from time and again where I fit in know where. Times likes these help being able to share thoughts on the subject.