Talking with your kids about cannabis?

[Guest]

I'm a soon-to-be father and was wondering how any of you with children approach the subject with them, if you do at all, especially with not being a patient who uses for med purposes and not living in a canna-friendly country where many people on the outside looking in have condescending notions in their minds? Opinions, advice, experiences, or any general insights you who are parents might have would be greatly appreciated

 

[mexicanmafia]

i was wondering the same question? how do you tell your kids? i'm a med patient in cali. its a hard subject to approach your kids with?

good question dankPheno

peace!

mm

 

[DocLeaf]

start with the truth

most medicines come from plants. people that are ill take medicine to help them feel better,,,

stress the fact that when people mis-use medicines and plants it often makes them feel sad.

(note: I n I nah have youts but this is how we'd broach the topic)

hope this helps
DocLeaf

 

[guineapig]

Definately a good topic for a thread......

First of all, make sure you talk to your child before his/her peers talk to him/her. This
way your kids will get accurate information and know some facts about Cannabis (because the child's friends might exaggerate or even lie about Cannabis).....

Ok now that we've gotten to your kid early, what should we say?

Well we must present Cannabis in comparison to drugs like alcohol, cigarettes, inhalants, etc, and stress that unlike these drugs (and pharmaceutical drugs), not one
person in recorded history has ever overdosed from using Cannabis.

Now that this fact has been presented, you must tell your child that excessive
recreational use of cannabis is not appropriate for young children for the following reasons: legal hassles, possible lung irritation, and the fact that they are still trying
to define their personality.

If your child is an experimental type, he/she might try it at a party every once in awhile.....however, if your child has to wake-and-bake every day and must be stoned
every time he/she is around you, then there is a serious problem with your relationship
with your child......remember, excessive drug use is often a symptom of an unhealthy
parent-child relationship......the child has not received adequate love or affection or
understanding from one or more parent and therefore is seeking the internal bliss that
comes from smoking Cannabis.....not to mention respect from his/her stoner peers....

There are too many horror stories of young children bringing a bag of Cannabis to
show-and-tell or just showing off to their peers how cool they are by bringing
Cannabis to school.......this can be a nightmare scenario for a parent!!!!

If there were more hug use there would be less drug abuse!!!!

(Cannabis is a potent medicine and shouldn't be abused.....until college lol....jk....)

I hope this helps and please if I have misled anyone or if anyone disagrees please
chime in and help guide these parents past the failed drug propaganda of the past
100 years and into a happy, healthy future......

kind regards from a guineapig

 

[Guest]

I tell my kids that the very nature of government is to both seek justification for its existence, and to garner more and more power. That government and power are addictions unto themselves.

That said, I've told them that since time began, groups have often arbitrarily identified (things/people/other groups) that they've agreed were o.k. to persecute for little or no substantial reason.

I've stated that the cold reality of the social and legal ramifications surrounding cannabis, even as used responsibly by adults, is one such example of this sort of arbitrary, non-scientifically-supported persecution.

I've asked them if they've seen any behavior from those adults in their lives who were using cannabis that has led them to believe that cannabis-smoking adults are inherently dangerous, out of control, or removed from awareness of their immediate reality, as the various governments often state or imply. My kids have stated that they simply see responsible adults as more reasonable and laid back (less tense) when using cannabis.. "They smile more.."

In this day and age when schools and many other 'do-gooder agencies', ask personal questions about family life, parents, etc., always seemingly in the name of saving the children, the earth, the whales, or some other glorious project, (not too dissimilar to Stalin's block captains), it's good if your kids know where 'the line of personal and family privacy' is.

I've engaged in a fair amount of activism and primary organizing; the school folks know a fair bit about my politics and related activities.

Ever since my kids were old enough to attend pre-school, I've told them that if -anyone- (i.e., cop, teacher, doc, social worker, etc. etc.) asks personal questions about their family life, mommy, daddy, etc., they are to respond thus; "If you want to know something about my mommy or my daddy, perhaps you should ask my mommy or my daddy." A clear boundary is set this way. Politely and honestly.

They are also empowered by us to inform the person doing the asking that they intend to inform their parents about such questioning.

My kids are well aware of my early childhood escapades; we waited 'til we were getting up in the years to have kids, and I have been relatively open with them. I've discussed (in 'kid terms') everything from family suicides, to governmental tendencies, to the meaning of propaganda. I've emphasized that my reality as a 13 year old, and their reality as kids in -my- household, are two -very- different realities. I had mucho reason to be on the road at 13. Reasons that I won't elaborate about here. They don't have those reasons. At all.

In that regard, I tell them that while they're busy conquering the hurdles of growing up, contrary to what they know about my early adolescence as a hitch-hiking, cannabis and drug-consuming, Jr. hippie, they are charged with learning as much as they are able to, pulling good grades, doing their daily chores, and not engaging in vices that they are not prepared (by age, circumstances, and experience) to engage in.

I tell them that adults make decisions and engage in activities that are, for some fairly acceptable and logical reasons, reserved for adults; i.e., carrying a firearm, driving a vehicle, voting, etc.

There are few real secrets in a family system. What -is- there is an awareness of whether or not someone is reasonable, trustable, safe, and whether or not they live up to their obligations. Kids know and see these things. They know what to expect from persons in their lives.

My kids have never seen me outright drunk. They have never seen any adult in our home out of control due to some substance or another.

Weed among adults is a non-issue in my home., Providing that it's handled responsibly. And my kids have had very honest discussions with us about this issue. My kids are aware of adults who have plenty of weed around them, yet they are also aware that those adult persons don't spend their every waking hour toking on a pipe or a joint. We've discussed this in relation to phenomenon such as 'self-discipline' and 'responsibility.'

We've discussed the average differences in adults vs. kids where self-discipline and responsibility are concerned. (Not that all kids and adults are stereo-typically or inherently locked into one or the other categories).

One of the biggest issues is the stigma that the 'system' will often try to lay on kids' heads about that generic and ominous group called 'drug users.' Dispelling the power that these concepts seem to have is very important.

In the end, what seems most important and effective to me is this; open and honest communication and -real- dialogue, .... and trust. No games. Blow their trust, and it's over with.

But you're up against one hell of a propaganda machine. We were blessed with some pretty smart kids. That has helped a lot.

moose eater

 

[Guest]

thanks for being so forthcoming and getting the ball rolling guys...i don't post much since i've been on the boards for YEARS, and so many "new" topics i swear i've already read/discussed dozens of times in the past lead me to basically just browse/lurk now (yes, by now we all know bubba, og, and diesel are good bud)...but this is one topic i haven't seen much about...family means a lot to me and i know it does to many others as well so i'm anxious to see how this thread evolves...i truly appreciate you all taking the time to share your perspectives

 

[pieceofmyheart]

http://www.icmag.com/ic/showthread.php?t=38777

Here is a very good thread on growing and talking with your kids.

I agree with moose eater and guinea pig but just remember. Give them the info they need, don't over do it. They are children and think like children and when we expect them to understand things as we do as adults, we will get a surprise. No matter how smart they are, they are kids, take it easy on them. Knowing that their parents are doing something illegal, no matter how right you tell them that is is, is putting a load on them. To keep quiet for one thing, and it could worry them a lot to think a parent could be arrested. We all know we take that chance but if it happened your child could feel some guilt.

All I am saying is try to get on their level, see things from their still underdeveolped minds and senses. I am against putting "adult" scenerios in a kid's head....too much pressure.


of course, thats just my opinion.

 

[PazVerdeRadical]

pomh, hello, how have you been?
it makes me wonder if you really think that kids are really incapable of coping with actions that the laws deem as criminal... i recommend you rent a very good film, brazilian film, called City of God, two thumbs up
one love.

 

[pieceofmyheart]

pomh, hello, how have you been?
it makes me wonder if you really think that kids are really incapable of coping with actions that the laws deem as criminal... i recommend you rent a very good film, brazilian film, called City of God, two thumbs up
one love.

Not at all but kids brains do not work like adults, they just don't. If they did, they wouldn't need our guidance raising them, we could just send them on their merry way at 12 or 13.

Like I said I do not agree with putting adult agendas in a childs head, I don't think it is fair to them. As a child your life should be as free of worry as possible, hell you have your entire adult life to worry.

just my opinion

 

[naga_sadu]

I took the "easy way out" by moving to a locale where such things aren't so much of a "criminal" activity and/or a taboo, where mmj is pretty much a part of the local culture. My grandpa discussed mmj pretty freely with me and my older bro. Those discussions gave us the interest to backpack to distant lands. I didn't get the idea of travelling to Termez (a part of Soviet controlled Uzbekistan) by looking at the travel channel or something of that sort, I guarantee u that.

Of course I was REALLY lucky that I would be a local in a place that has a much more sane tolerance of mmj than most of the world...

But yea, if I was growing up in the US, this would be a pretty intriguing dilemma, especially considering on one hand you're trying to say the facts surroinding mmj and on the others, the kid's school, thru BS progs such as DARE say the exact opposite and actually encourage kids to rat out on parents and relatives who use mmj.

And kids don't necessarily have the most rational mind when it comes to making choices and what further adds to the parent's woes, is that the kid spends most of the attentive hours at school...a so called "place for learning." And schools do a pretty damn good job of roboticising kids, I've seen that much already!!!!!!

I could be wrong as I've never raised kids in societies where mmj is hardcore taboo and criminal such as US. So I'm just giving out thoughts that's all. If I'm wrong in my thoughts, pls. correct me.

But yes, I am interested to know how people living in societies like US would handle the subject w/ kids esp. in societies where it's very much taboo + illegal.

 

[oldpink]

spoke to all my kids (3) at an early age about cannabis and never hid it from them
in fact my son had his first "Space Cake" here in the dam last week with a friend of his
as he's over 16 I don't mind as he's more than mature enough to make up his own mind
best way is to be honest and give them facts to think about, not the bullshit there taught in school

 

[pieceofmyheart]

naga-sadu and oldpink, I guess where you live makes a big difference as to the info you share with your kids and the things you allow them to experiment with.

If you knowingly allow your 16 year old to partake in an illegal substance in the states you may be arressed and your kids may be taken away from you. We see in the news all the time parents buying thier teens beer for parties and such and the parents being arrested for it.

My children attend public school but I have been very active in their education and their schools. I am not raising sheep by any means, but I give them info as they need it and can emotionally handle it. If I would tell them I am growing and tell them never to tell a soul but they slip and tell a friend. Because they are kids, not narcs and many times kids don't quite get the consequences of things. Then I get popped. The guilt they would feel!!!! I don't want to put my kids in that situation.

 

[Guest]

In Alaska, those who use cannabis in their homes and are over the age of 19 are fortunate to say that it is still (at least for now) a matter of privacy, by constitutional precedent. In that regard, it is not -nearly- as taboo as it might be seen as being in other places. (Though some of the obviously uninformed claims in other parts on these boards about just how loose it still is are nothing short of ludicrous...)

None-the-less, our kids also know that the state doesn't always honor their own laws and restrictions.

In a distant comparison that has been used in our home in the past, we've talked about the importance of honesty. Our kids know that it's something that's valued in our home. They also know that honesty is a matter of trust and personal involvement.

We've talked about the Dutch and other citizens in the 1930s and 1940s who sometimes had children/families of their own, and who hid Jewish persons in their homes anyway. We've talked about how they were put into the position of not telling the truth to the SS/Nazis/Gestapo as a matter of self-preservation, and that cannabis prohibitiuon creates somewhat distantly similar dynamics as well; that being honest with persons about what an individual's parents do could result in catastrophe for that family.

Does that increase some stress for them? Yes. Do they blame the parents or the system for that dilemma? If the point is made clear, especially through their own observations, that the parents in question aren't harming anyone, and are behaving responsibly, then it is very easy to place the burden of that stress where it belongs; on the state and feds. Not unlike teaching them a useful respect of roads and not crossing in front of trucks and cars, for fear of even greater harm. Except the social stigma, if unaddressed, can be heavier in discussing cannabis, due to the propaganda mill.

Of greater immediate consequence in my own childrens' lives has been the fact that there are very nice children whom they would like to invite over to our semi-remote rural home at times, to play, or for a meal. Some of those children are apparently not allowed to come to our house. There's always a reason given to say 'no,' but there's -always- something... In that regard, I strongly believe that it's has been my political involvement and action that has cost my kids some friendships. And I find that sad, but I understand it. I don't invite over too many dogmatic mainstream Demopublicans or Repugniks either, and don't want their bs influence around my family. So I guess that I can also see the other side of the coin.

moose eater

 

[alaeddin]

From a tehcnically-still-a-childs point of view, I will say that I have thought this over a lot in my mind, the fact that if I was a parent what would I have said and compared it with my parents' sayings.
Actually, they have never tried it, which has made things much harder.

If I ever had children, I would take the honesty moose eater suggests and use it to create a very strong friendly environment at home, talk to them about cannabis, say that I would approve their doing it as long as I knew about it, and even do it together when they were old enough.

I wish I could have had such a relationship with my parents.

 

[mrwags]

http://www.icmag.com/ic/showthread.php?t=38777

Here is a very good thread on growing and talking with your kids.

I agree with moose eater and guinea pig but just remember. Give them the info they need, don't over do it. They are children and think like children and when we expect them to understand things as we do as adults, we will get a surprise. No matter how smart they are, they are kids, take it easy on them. Knowing that their parents are doing something illegal, no matter how right you tell them that is is, is putting a load on them. To keep quiet for one thing, and it could worry them a lot to think a parent could be arrested. We all know we take that chance but if it happened your child could feel some guilt.

All I am saying is try to get on their level, see things from their still underdeveolped minds and senses. I am against putting "adult" scenerios in a kid's head....too much pressure.


of course, thats just my opinion.

This I feel is a valid point including the fact that in most visits from your local D.A.R.E chapter to all public schools they hold up pictures of rolling papers and bongs and stuff and ask if they have ever seen this at home. Rasing an honest kid as we are suppost to IMO would put the child in a situation as POMH mentioned that can be saved (I hope) for a few more years.



Mr.Wags

 

[pieceofmyheart]

I am very blessed with intelligent, dance to the tune of thier own drummer type of kids. They are not at all mainstream........


We do have a very strong and open realtionship. Like I said they know I smoke, they know exactly how I feel about weed and alcohol and other drugs. They just don't know that I grow, now when I feel that are old enough I'll tell them for sure.

 

[Guest]

This I feel is a valid point including the fact that in most visits from your local D.A.R.E chapter to all public schools they hold up pictures of rolling papers and bongs and stuff and ask if they have ever seen this at home. Rasing an honest kid as we are suppost to IMO would put the child in a situation as POMH mentioned that can be saved (I hope) for a few more years.



Mr.Wags

this is a great topic. one i've just started rethinking when my oldest was starting JR high this year...I have 3 kids and have always smoked since 13...my mom smoked when I was young and my uncle was a guerilla farmer in the everglades...I was alot more mature than my kids were at their age so I didnt really think of having the talks yet..I decided to ask my 11 yr old what she knew about cannabis or Marijuana? she responded that the school said if you used it once it would make you crazy and jump out a window or something....First thought was wow..what strain...second was what is she going to think when she finds out thats bullshit...when she wonders what else has she been lied to about...I wasnt sheltered when I was growing up...I'm as honest as I can be to them...the other two are a lil younger so some things I do shelter them from for now...when my daughter asks me a question she knows she's getting the truth cause we sit down and talk and look for info on it..she surprised me one night when watching the history channels The history of Marijuana by sitting down and watching....she had so many q's that I ended up recording it...I also have alot of books on the subject...I figure if we are going to change the future it starts at home...with the truth and facts ....my daughter has seen people with cancer that i've given meds to. hearing their spouses say how sick they are and thanking me for being so kind.....people she has grown to love and respect....all in all knowing I get good karma for my deeds ,a sense of pride and nothing else.Now before anyone jumps my shit about taking my kid on deals....these are people I've know since I was a kid,20+ yrs and my kids have known since birth. one's a retired doctor,ones a teacher and the other a plumber for the school board.After the talk I figured it was a good way for her to see and hear first hand...now she goes just to see them smile...I also talk to her about the legal stance.. and why it's that way....you are right you cant shove it down their throats but through time they get the big picture...speaking of D.A.R.E...when my kid was 7 they went to the school talking about tabacco and how it's a drug....she came home all upset that day telling me i'm going to die from them....then I get a call from the school to come in.....so I go down the next day to talk to the principal ...I go in and the D.A.R.E officer comes in as well acusing me of doing drugs....I asked what drugs they were talking about as I take a few...they were stunned..now I did take meds at the time for pain and mental...also I smoke and have drank...all drugs... they said my daughter told them I did drugs when they asked if any of the kids parents did drugs...my daughter was referring to the tabacco and alcohol...I threw a fit and cursed them out for upsetting my daughter with scare tactics..end of story she wasnt allowed in the D.A.R.E program anymore...the truth may not set you free but the propaganda will bury you if allowed.....stay safe everyone...

 

[Guest]

It's nice for kids to have that period of innocense during childhood.

But in blanket generalizations, we potentially do them a major disservice.

They're often taught that 'what teachers say is correct,' 'what governments (especially our own) do in the name of the People is for the good of the People,' 'that cops are honest and judges are fair-minded with integrity,' that 'the violence done by -our- police and military is noble and different from that violence done by the forces of other countries,' that 'there is always a clear-cut line between good and evil and right and wrong,' etc., etc., and a passle of other inaccurate beliefs.

We have taught our children what I believe is a more balanced and -real- version of these things, all the while entertaining things like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc.

My kids learned very early on that 'just because it came from a person with 'clout,' prestige, or power, doesn't necessarily make it real.'

My kids, especially my daughter, have, thus far, been smart enough and intuitive enough, to see when they're being schmoozed by authorities..... all on their own... without much additional coaching by their mother and I.

But yeah, allowing the forces of propaganda to float on by without checking it does a world of harm to them.

"Burn down the Mission, if we're gonna' stay alive.." (Elton John)

moose eater

 

[DurbanPoison]

I'm only 21, but this is something that crosses my mind every now and then. I don't know for sure, but I assume that i'll still be a rec. user once I do have kids in the next 5-10 yearsish. Thank you all for sharing your opinions.

 

[naga_sadu]

One of the best teachers of young kids is travel. Encourage them to do it. Instead of givin' em, a car or a motorbike, give 'em a plane ticket. Travel at a very young age isin't a very 'revolutionary' kind of thing.

Travelling to distant locales and cultures, in addition to giving the kids a first hand view on cultures and systems which have used mmj for thousands of years, also clears their mind of lies and false notions taught to them during their tenure in "educational" institutions. Also, it gives kids a much more well rounded world view and greatly helps their analytical and judgemental abilities. It helps turn them into humans rather than into zombies, which "the system" seems to encourage.

Since we're mmj users sending our kids on backpacking trips to locales where it's used as a part of the culture can be a very profound, eye opening experience for them, especially if you're livin in a society where mmj is taboo/ criminilised.....a good time to do this is perhaps when the kids are around 14-15 yrs. of age. At a younger age, you can perhaps have your kids accompany you in your travels and journeys.