UNFORTUNATLY , NOT ALL STORIES HAVE A HAPPY ENDING, BUT SOME ARE SO FUNNY THEY MAKE YOU CRY! IF YOU HAVE A STORY OF CRAPPING YOURSELF OR OF A FUNNY PLACE YOU HAD TO CRAP. LET'S HAVE A GOOD LAUGH! 
STEAMER STORIES [CRAPPED MYSELF]
- Thread starter farmerlion
- Start date
boroboro
Member
How about a nice, quiet squat in the woods? It was a beautiful summer morning in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan, I was most of the way through a two week camping trip, so I was pretty used to squatting in the woods.
I reached out for some leaves, cleaned up, and headed out for a fine day, feeling grand and about a pound lighter. Later, though, I learned what the leaves were that I wiped on myself: Poison Ivy.
What followed was the most miserable 2 weeks my ass has ever had, and hopefully ever will have.
I reached out for some leaves, cleaned up, and headed out for a fine day, feeling grand and about a pound lighter. Later, though, I learned what the leaves were that I wiped on myself: Poison Ivy.
What followed was the most miserable 2 weeks my ass has ever had, and hopefully ever will have.
1 of my 2 cent's
1 of my 2 cent's
I HAVE SEVERAL STORIES I WILL SHARE IN TIME. TWO SUMMERS AGO I WAS HAULING A LOAD OF BLOCK ABOUT 125 MILES TO A JOB SITE. RIGHT WHEN I LEFT I FELT BELLY PAINS,NO PROBLEM I'LL STOP IN BERTHOLD 28 MILES FROM HERE AND SNACK-UP. 12 MILES OUT OF TOWN IS BERTHOLD HILL. MOST SEMI'S ARE AT A CRAWL GOING UP... MINE WAS! I HIT A DIP IN THE ROAD INSTANTLY SENDING THE ALL TO SOFT TURD INTO MY UNDERWEAR. STANDING THE BEST I COULD FOR THE NEXT 14 MILES I SURE WAS GLAD I HAD A POCKETKNIVE WITH ME THAT DAY. PULLING UP TO THE C-STORE, DUCK WALKING TO THE BATHROOM. I WAS ABLE TO CUT MY UNDERWEAR OFF IN THE BATHROOM. I WAS'NT ABOUT TO GET CAUGHT CARRYING THEM TO THE GARBAGE SO I LEFT THEM ON THE FLOOR AND MOVED TO THE NEXT STALL.WHILE I WAS CLEANING UP A MAN WALKED IN TELLING HIS BUDDY HOW BAD HE HAD TO GO.SITTING DOWN HE RECANTED HIS STORY,
SOME POOR BASTARD HAD TO GO WORSE.
1 of my 2 cent's
I HAVE SEVERAL STORIES I WILL SHARE IN TIME. TWO SUMMERS AGO I WAS HAULING A LOAD OF BLOCK ABOUT 125 MILES TO A JOB SITE. RIGHT WHEN I LEFT I FELT BELLY PAINS,NO PROBLEM I'LL STOP IN BERTHOLD 28 MILES FROM HERE AND SNACK-UP. 12 MILES OUT OF TOWN IS BERTHOLD HILL. MOST SEMI'S ARE AT A CRAWL GOING UP... MINE WAS! I HIT A DIP IN THE ROAD INSTANTLY SENDING THE ALL TO SOFT TURD INTO MY UNDERWEAR. STANDING THE BEST I COULD FOR THE NEXT 14 MILES I SURE WAS GLAD I HAD A POCKETKNIVE WITH ME THAT DAY. PULLING UP TO THE C-STORE, DUCK WALKING TO THE BATHROOM. I WAS ABLE TO CUT MY UNDERWEAR OFF IN THE BATHROOM. I WAS'NT ABOUT TO GET CAUGHT CARRYING THEM TO THE GARBAGE SO I LEFT THEM ON THE FLOOR AND MOVED TO THE NEXT STALL.WHILE I WAS CLEANING UP A MAN WALKED IN TELLING HIS BUDDY HOW BAD HE HAD TO GO.SITTING DOWN HE RECANTED HIS STORY,
SOME POOR BASTARD HAD TO GO WORSE.
Ice fishing with phill
Ice fishing with phill
On the way to lake sakakawea,phill tells me of his new one piece thermal longjohns. how warm he will be ect. after 5 hours of fishing and many beers Phill has to shit. He spots a boat dock rolled up on the shoreline, perfect outhouse he say's. about half way there he realizes he will have to get naked to his knee's with his new longjohns. they are'nt so cool anymore. i'm cassually watching his dillemma unfold from 50 yards away. I look back over phills on top of the boatdock taking his boots off. his shirts and jacket are laying in the snow.[what the hell?] He's butt naked in 20 degrees swearing up a storm. Long story short, while he was sitting down his long underwear fell below him. He pissed and shit inside his longjohns. He had to fully undress to get them off. He drug them back accross the ice to show me how much fun he had. He did catch a 21 pound northern pike about 2 hours later.
Ice fishing with phill
On the way to lake sakakawea,phill tells me of his new one piece thermal longjohns. how warm he will be ect. after 5 hours of fishing and many beers Phill has to shit. He spots a boat dock rolled up on the shoreline, perfect outhouse he say's. about half way there he realizes he will have to get naked to his knee's with his new longjohns. they are'nt so cool anymore. i'm cassually watching his dillemma unfold from 50 yards away. I look back over phills on top of the boatdock taking his boots off. his shirts and jacket are laying in the snow.[what the hell?] He's butt naked in 20 degrees swearing up a storm. Long story short, while he was sitting down his long underwear fell below him. He pissed and shit inside his longjohns. He had to fully undress to get them off. He drug them back accross the ice to show me how much fun he had. He did catch a 21 pound northern pike about 2 hours later.
AM I CLEAN YET?
AM I CLEAN YET?
SHORTLY AFTER NEW YEARS, MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WENT OUT AND GOT TOTALLY WRECKED! I WAS HURTIN SHE WAS TOAST. I WENT STRAIGHT TO BED. SHE DECIDED SHE NEEDED A BATH. DURING WHICH TIME SHE DISCOVERS SHE IS GOING TO BE SICK. SHE HAD GRABBED THE WASTE CAN TO THROW-UP IN AS SHE PUKED. SHE ALSO MANAGED TO CRAP IN THE TUB AT THE SAME TIME. WHEN SHE TURNS AROUND TO FIND HER TURD SHE SPILLS HER BUCKET OF PUKE IN THE TUB WITH HER AND STARTS BALLING! I WAKE UP GO IN TO CHECK ON HER. THATS SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERYDAY! HONEY I LOVE YOU BUT I'M SORRY YOUR ON YOUR OWN. I WENT BACK TO BED.
AM I CLEAN YET?
SHORTLY AFTER NEW YEARS, MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WENT OUT AND GOT TOTALLY WRECKED! I WAS HURTIN SHE WAS TOAST. I WENT STRAIGHT TO BED. SHE DECIDED SHE NEEDED A BATH. DURING WHICH TIME SHE DISCOVERS SHE IS GOING TO BE SICK. SHE HAD GRABBED THE WASTE CAN TO THROW-UP IN AS SHE PUKED. SHE ALSO MANAGED TO CRAP IN THE TUB AT THE SAME TIME. WHEN SHE TURNS AROUND TO FIND HER TURD SHE SPILLS HER BUCKET OF PUKE IN THE TUB WITH HER AND STARTS BALLING! I WAKE UP GO IN TO CHECK ON HER. THATS SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERYDAY! HONEY I LOVE YOU BUT I'M SORRY YOUR ON YOUR OWN. I WENT BACK TO BED.
ok i was on a 5 day hiking trip and you know gotta take a nature poo so i drop and squat just as im about to wipe a giant bumblebee lands on my sack and just sits there for like 2-3 mins i was like 
most worried ive ever been
most worried ive ever been
D
Don Cotyle
I feel for your lady farmerlion! I was sick as a dog in bed with the flu jumping out of bed every hour or so with the trotts. I jumped out of bed...ran for the bathroom and plopped down on the comode, guts rumbleing. I hadn't gone yet and suddenly had to puke. I did a quick 180 and began throwing up in the toilet, the heaving of my stomach caused my bowels to let loose. I sprayed my wifes vanity table about 5 feet away, the wall, the curtains and the window. I tryed cleaning it up and just kept pukeing. My lady came home...threw a fit and threw it all out the window. That fun time cost me $1,000 for a new vanity,chair,perfumes,brushs,makeup,curtains,hairdryer and curlers. Go ahead and laugh...even I think it's funny 5 years later...but not at the time
D
Don Cotyle
Ya'll ever heard of takeing an upperdecker??? There was this guy that ripped me off and over time he thought I had let it slide a year later. He has friends over all the time so I started to hang out over there agan. Every time there were more than 4-5 people over there I would take a massive dump in the top tank of his toilet. Someone else would use the bathrom and flush...sending the crap from the upper tank into the toilet bowl, and works for about 8 flushes. He thought sewage was backing up into his house. He had the lines "rooto-rootered"...next week the same thing upperdecker...snake the pipes... over and over for about a month. It cost him way more than he ripped me for. I finaly told him what I was doing in front of all his peeps, everyone rolled laughing. Needless to say he was not amused!!!
DON THATS FUNNY AS HELL!!!
DON THATS FUNNY AS HELL!!!
I have a friend i race with in montana. his brother is a rancher. i suppose it was about 1997. the snow was building up alot and cold as hell. he was bringing a trailer full of sheep to auction so he did'nt have to find then feed them anymore.on the way to town he had to shit real bad,what the hell i'll just crap in the stock trailer and hold the door closed.he was leaning up against one wall with his pants down holding the door when one old uwe seen that crack of light and made a push for freedom. he got pulled out the back holding on to her with his pants down. letting go as he was being honked at by some nieghbors laghing thier asses off!
DON THATS FUNNY AS HELL!!!
I have a friend i race with in montana. his brother is a rancher. i suppose it was about 1997. the snow was building up alot and cold as hell. he was bringing a trailer full of sheep to auction so he did'nt have to find then feed them anymore.on the way to town he had to shit real bad,what the hell i'll just crap in the stock trailer and hold the door closed.he was leaning up against one wall with his pants down holding the door when one old uwe seen that crack of light and made a push for freedom. he got pulled out the back holding on to her with his pants down. letting go as he was being honked at by some nieghbors laghing thier asses off!
SICK BASTARD
SICK BASTARD
Totally trashed, I had my buddies drop me off at the Hardee's three blocks from my house. I need some food then I'll walk home.My mushroom and swiss pushed up real hard against a turd. So I started walking down the alley trying to find a place to shit. I seen a guy's truck, thought I could sit on the corner of the box and tailgate. hopped on the bumper the guy had a tanau cover over his box. While I was standing on his bumper I noticed a light on in the basement of an apartment building.[laundry room] Well I gotta shit bad it will have to work. I walk downstairs to thier washer and dryer. I hop my drunk ass up on thier washer and dump a super runny stream of shit all over that spinner deal in the middle. I about fall off laughing. Now I have to wipe my ass. I look around.... nothing to wipe with..shit. I open the dryer and find somebody's whites. I grabbed the nicest pair of white socks I could find for the job. I threw the socks in the washer with my steamer and closed the lid. I did feel sorry for whoever found and had to clean that mess up.
SICK BASTARD
Totally trashed, I had my buddies drop me off at the Hardee's three blocks from my house. I need some food then I'll walk home.My mushroom and swiss pushed up real hard against a turd. So I started walking down the alley trying to find a place to shit. I seen a guy's truck, thought I could sit on the corner of the box and tailgate. hopped on the bumper the guy had a tanau cover over his box. While I was standing on his bumper I noticed a light on in the basement of an apartment building.[laundry room] Well I gotta shit bad it will have to work. I walk downstairs to thier washer and dryer. I hop my drunk ass up on thier washer and dump a super runny stream of shit all over that spinner deal in the middle. I about fall off laughing. Now I have to wipe my ass. I look around.... nothing to wipe with..shit. I open the dryer and find somebody's whites. I grabbed the nicest pair of white socks I could find for the job. I threw the socks in the washer with my steamer and closed the lid. I did feel sorry for whoever found and had to clean that mess up.
ouch,karmas gonna get you for that one mate,not nice
I have a cousin who drinks Guiness,lots of it-every day and this plays havoc with your insides,especially if you don't eat much like this skinny dude
He has so many steamer stories he could write a book but one of the best/worst is the following:
Being skinny and somewhat paranoid about his skinny legs,he sometimes takes to wearing a pair of sweatpants under his jeans tucked into his socks.Anyone in my hometown will know straightaway who I'm talking about here but I don't give a shit,I'm not growing.
So we were at a concert one night(Alabama3) and the guiness was flowing as usual.Later that night the skinny one was climbing over his fence to get into his back garden,as he lifted his leg the floodgates opened and he filled his sweatpants with the sticky icky putrid black goo.Naaaassty
I have a cousin who drinks Guiness,lots of it-every day and this plays havoc with your insides,especially if you don't eat much like this skinny dude
He has so many steamer stories he could write a book but one of the best/worst is the following:
Being skinny and somewhat paranoid about his skinny legs,he sometimes takes to wearing a pair of sweatpants under his jeans tucked into his socks.Anyone in my hometown will know straightaway who I'm talking about here but I don't give a shit,I'm not growing.
So we were at a concert one night(Alabama3) and the guiness was flowing as usual.Later that night the skinny one was climbing over his fence to get into his back garden,as he lifted his leg the floodgates opened and he filled his sweatpants with the sticky icky putrid black goo.Naaaassty
burning red
burning red
Thanks for shareing the story. that was the whole intension of this thread. Everyone has had something screwed up happen a time or too.
burning red
Thanks for shareing the story. that was the whole intension of this thread. Everyone has had something screwed up happen a time or too.
