sleep tight precious Kayla.......

[Stoner4Life]

I've felt all along the change in Kayla's well being would happen overnight, which night was of course the unknown. Yesterday started off a bit slowly for Kayla and a noticeable deterioration in her gait; it's not just that she slowed down a bit (she did) but there was a deliberate jerky motion in an effort to raise each leg whereas the day before her stride was fairly normal and just days prior she still had plenty of pep in her step hustling to the door to greet our various friends arrivals.


Last night she began to refuse food (ground beef & rice) unless I hand fed her from my own plate a bit here, a bit there although she was able to take in plenty of water.

For the first time ever Kayla was walking in and out of the house with her tail tucked low; normally she held that tail high and it wagged left n' right with every step she took, a happy confident stride all of her life and suddenly it was gone.

@ 4:00am this morning I cooked up 2 big marrow filled soup bones, one for Alice & one for Kayla who has always assigned herself 'keeper of the bones' by spiriting them away asap from Alice & Scooter in years past. Both girls dug into them for awhile but Alice soon tired of hers and fell asleep, it wasn't long before Kayla had Alice's bone on her blanket too as old habits die hard.


I had a vets appt scheduled for a checkup for Kayla later today but decided last night that there was no way I could allow her end to come as an accumulation of bad days back to back to back. There was a fluid raspiness to her breathing again and certainly one organ or another in her body was starting to shut down.


The look in her eyes and her step told me the fun was gone from her life and when the vet was very gently lifting her to the exam table she let out a horrible howl from the pain within. She was always such a gentle dog I knew that this one day of true discomfort or suffering was all she & I could bare.


I can't write anymore about her right now, I'm crying like a baby and need to get out of my house. I'd like to maybe tell you all more about Kayla later.......

 

[zenoonez]

I am so sorry, its always hard losing such a close member of the family. At least you knew her time was coming and treasured what time she had left. Peace.

 

[feral]

As a fellow animal lover you have my deepest condolences 'bra. Know that you did the right thing. So many let their pets suffer because they can't stand the thought of their loved one gone, and by doing so they are being selfish.
You showed/gave her the ultimate act of love.......just remember Kayla will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge and until then she is watching over you from above.

 

[tryn2getby]

So sorry to hear about your friend.... my dogs are my life ... my breath...my everything.... stay strong for the ones you still have & always remember 'all dogs go to heaven' ... Gods creatures for sure...


t2

 

[lipsmcgee]

I've never felt such sadness as when I lose an animal friend. For me it is one of the hardest things to deal with. It's always so hard to let a close companion go and it always seems too soon. Know that she is in no more pain and is free now.

 

[yortbogey]

breathless..............I can only offer a shoulder to lean and cry upon.....and help carry the weight of U'r lose.......I am hear to share the pain, the anguish, and the sorrow.......


Do Not Cry

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.

-Anonymous

 

[feral]

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

 

[HighDesertJoe]

I feel your pain Stoner4Life I cried like a baby reading your post it was the hardest thing I ever did putting my friend and constant companion down I've never gotten over it.

RIP Kayla

 

[feral]

A Dog's Prayer

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

--Beth Norman Harris

 

[whodair]

when the heart is full the eyes overflow...its an old yiddish saying i throw around but how true it is ...

stoner4life youve been a good friend to me on icmag, and like yourself i am an animal lover

heavy hearted in NY

 

[est1977]

My condolences for the loss of your best friend .........I lost my baby a few years ago and have yet to get another pet .I feel your pain

 

[303hydro]

Light and Love to you and your companion.

 

[hiker]

Stoner4life,So sorry to hear that day finally came, I've had too many of those myself. You are not alone in your tears, they are flowing here too. Just be glad you made her last days as well as her whole life so good for her. Time makes things better my friend, hang in there. Again, so,so, sorry for your loss, but at least she was your gain for many years.

 

[NEW ENGLAND]

You did the kindest most unselfish thing you could do.I am truely sorry for your loss.

 

[SuperSizeMe]

Sad day

Sad day

S4L

Head high and be proud (and thankful) she had the best possible life with you.I,too, am on the look-out for that very same day.

You did the best thing

Peace, my brother

 

[supermanlives]

i still miss my last dog. he didnt suffer too much. i wasnt supposed to bury him in city limits due to his size. but fuck them i dug his human size grave in my tiny clay ridden backyard. there was no way i would of surrendered his body to be burned. he is fertilizing a nice tree. i became attached to my dog more than most people. i feel your pain!!!!

 

[Stoner4Life]

thank you all for your kind words and thoughts again.

the time was just right but of course I'd have given anything for a few more quality days for Kayla, it was really the very first day of her last and she just had to pass with dignity, I had to let her go.

I feel a little selfish and ashamed because I kept finding myself asking quietly "please lord help me" when I should have been asking for help for Kayla instead. I guess it's our nature to assign some amount of guilt to a process like this.


I'm going to go have supper @ a friends home tonight and then hopefully get back and get some sleep myself as I stayed up all night keeping a eye on Kayla, I was happiest to hear her snoring deeply around 6-7:00am this morning.

 

[kmk420kali]

Sorry to hear it bro-- She is out of pain now-- Very hard thing to do--

 

[Mr. Mountain]

You did the right thing. Don't believe it... Know it!

This thread is making me cry, I love animals.

She is in a better place where there is no more pain. Be happy.




Mr. M

 

[MJBadger]

The wife & i have had to make this heart tearing decision 3 times over the last few years & the 4th an 18yr old bull terrier x was booked into the vets monday morning & died in her sleep on the sat eve .
Even thinking about our beloved friends brings tears to my eyes . They are all planted under the Redwood in the garden & our companionship & love now comes from a rescue dog , we love her but will never forget the beautys we have lost .
We feel all your pain but there will come a time when you think of Kayla with a big smile & a tear in the eye , many many times .