probation drug testing.

[GL_Guerilla]

ive been on ICmag for awhile, but a few months back i deleted my account due to security issues....anyway....

sorry if this is drawn out...lotta info to cover...

in july i was sentenced to 18 months of probation for posession...
had a half ounce on me....(isnt america great?)
ive been on since july 21st....
my initial thought was just to quit smoking all together PERIOD.
getting high isnt worth jail time....so ive been smoking "herbal incense" for awhile now...it does the trick....just not nearly as good...not to mention unknown side effects...
so my first meeting she didnt test me.....i had stopped about 2 and 1/2 weeks before my first meeting...i knew i would fail..
im about 6'0" and 250 lbs, so im by no means skinny....
so next month rolls around, and i still havent smoked and i go in and she asks me to piss in a cup....thought id be clean, its been nearly 50 days since i smoked....i failed...i tried telling her that it can stay in your system for more than 2 months and she called me a liar and said that theres NO WAY it stays in your system for more then a month....i told her i could generate scientific DATA that proves her wrong...she said she would send the sample in to see how much was in my sample and if it wasnt much, she might just make me do a couple hours community service...which is still bullshit...im telling her the truth...
next month rolls around, still havent smoked any...day before my scheduled meeting, shows up at my house, says like literally 20 words to me, doesnt even step more that 5 feet into the house, then says "see you next month"...i know im not very high on her priorities...obviously...
i get a call from a friend the next day who is on probation too.. same office as me...says he's been using fake urine from the local head shop and it works like a charm...i questioned him about it, and he says it guarenteed to work...our piss tests arent supervised BTW...so this is what got me thinking this might actually work....so since i dont got to see my PO for a month, i decide im gonna smoke up...so i smoked a bunch for like 4 days in a row...then i remembered theres a ambigous looking mirror right in front of the toilet...i wonder if thats a 1-way? how do i know for sure?
i mean my friend did it...but he could have gotten lucky..
so i decide to quit again since i still got 3 weeks till my next test....
my friend just used a bottle stashed between his legs...didnt even use the belt with the hose comin off of it...
so that makes me think its NOT a 1-way mirror...
so now i can't decide if i should use the subsitution method..or continue my abstinence...
anyway.... if i was probably clean before my last meeting..and i smoked heavily (as heavily as possible for someone with NO tolerence anymore) for 4 days..will it still be in my system 3 weeks from now? i know theres no difinitive answer here...just looking for some reassurance....ive been doing alot of excercise to help clean me out...
my PO office is in a shared office building..really low security...and im on the bottom of the priority list judging how my PO treats me...
any advice?
im hoping for early release as of april 21st...

 

[guest396]

get the kit if you can or you may be farked.

i went through a similar situation and was not using, still pissed dirty for 90 days.... levels droppin all the while.

however, you have begun using again, and she will test you to catch you slippin.

 

[yortbogey]

testclear.com

the only real answer.......

 

[GL_Guerilla]

i only smoked for 4 days...then ill have been clean for 3 weeks...do you really think it will still be in my system? i was clean before my 4 day "binge"

 

[Greenstar420]

I doubt it is a way mirror, but to be sure you can tell for sure though by putting your thumb nail against the mirror. A real mirror will leave a gap between the mirror image of your thumbnail, A 2 way mirror will have your nails touching with no gap. hope that makes sense and good luck.

 

[GL_Guerilla]

good tip...i was also going to try to look whats BEHIND the bathroom...try to get a layout of the building.....from what i can tell, the space behind the bathroom is just the main office/receptionist area.....my friend also said the a 1 way mirror will be "built" into the wall and a regular mirror will be hanging from the wall....

 

[BrainSellz]

Bro from my recollection that mirror is just there so they can see if your using a fake thinga mabob, they can see your jank from standing behind you instead of lookin like pervs. Best way to find out if your gunna fail is to buy a test kit before you go and check yourself. imo

 

[GL_Guerilla]

its an unsupervised test...i go into a bathroom and am told not to lock the door.
the hot water faucet is removed....PO stands outside the door

 

[BrainSellz]

its an unsupervised test...i go into a bathroom and am told not to lock the door.
the hot water faucet is removed....PO stands outside the door

Thats word you got it easy, they allways wanted to see what the phuk i was doin, either that or the SOB was gay, probly gay now that i think about it, fucker. Hey if you test yourself test atleast a week ahead to give yourself time to deal with it if its positive.

 

[guest396]

Hey if you test yourself test atleast a week ahead to give yourself time to deal with it if its positive.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
cheapest most effective way to know your next move based on your quote below.

i only smoked for 4 days...then ill have been clean for 3 weeks...do you really think it will still be in my system? i was clean before my 4 day "binge"

 

[GL_Guerilla]

yeah i had thought that too...good advice...im gonna pick up the more expensive stealth pisser-belt-thingy and some at home test strips....
has anyone had any experience with probation offices using 1-way mirrors in bathrooms?
this is really the only issue i see at this point....

 

[lvclosetgrower]

yeah i had thought that too...good advice...im gonna pick up the more expensive stealth pisser-belt-thingy and some at home test strips....
has anyone had any experience with probation offices using 1-way mirrors in bathrooms?
this is really the only issue i see at this point....

No I personally never heard of oneway mirrors in po office restrooms. If they have a problem or think your up something funny they will just watch you. Had a buddy whos po was a dick my buddies piss came up untestable neither postitive or negative he didnt use the drink right or something next test he took the po literally watched the piss come out the tip of his penis.good luck

 

[BrainSellz]

Bro the belt can be expensive however you can go get a dildo that looks like your jank, grab a turkey baster and some little rubber tubing. Gut the dildo so the turkey baster fits in snug and run the tube out the front of the dildo but stealthfully. Once you got a fit you will need to cut the turkey baster and the plunger to fit to size. once you have made this get it onto a belt and practice with water. You push the plunger part with your pelvis by pushing the dildo back and it pushes the plunger and makes it pee. I give you my word i have used this device with success, it doesnt leak either. On the last time i ever had to use it i got pulled over on the way back and hadnt untied the damn thing yet and all i could think of was what this was gonna look like had the copper found somn to search me for, close one sheeeew. Anyhow this was just a DIY incase you cant afford that belt. best endeavors with whatever you do

 

[cheifstrongleaf]

Bro the belt can be expensive however you can go get a dildo that looks like your jank, grab a turkey baster and some little rubber tubing. Gut the dildo so the turkey baster fits in snug and run the tube out the front of the dildo but stealthfully. Once you got a fit you will need to cut the turkey baster and the plunger to fit to size. once you have made this get it onto a belt and practice with water. You push the plunger part with your pelvis by pushing the dildo back and it pushes the plunger and makes it pee. I give you my word i have used this device with success, it doesnt leak either. On the last time i ever had to use it i got pulled over on the way back and hadnt untied the damn thing yet and all i could think of was what this was gonna look like had the copper found somn to search me for, close one sheeeew. Anyhow this was just a DIY incase you cant afford that belt. best endeavors with whatever you do

That sir, is brilliant. One question; where'd you get the dildo? Was it just lying around the house, or did you walk right into a dong shop, whip out your suspects and say "hey, you got one that looks like this?". Seriously though, you idea is a great, cheaper alternative that I will definitely use if I ever have a supervised test. Thank you!

 

[GreenMachine22]

how much do you smoke on a regular basis

 

[BrainSellz]

That sir, is brilliant. One question; where'd you get the dildo? Was it just lying around the house, or did you walk right into a dong shop, whip out your suspects and say "hey, you got one that looks like this?". Seriously though, you idea is a great, cheaper alternative that I will definitely use if I ever have a supervised test. Thank you!

Bro its funny you asked, believe it or not i was telling my buddy my plan at the time and low and behold he goes in his girls closet to see what she had and finds one he didnt know about and was likie WTF, it matched perfect so he just gave it to me. It was like it was meant to be and she never did mention anything about it missin

 

[Bluenose510]

feeling your pains bro! i gotta take a test in a couple of days myself, im 6' 3" 300lbs been smoking for 13yrs. i havent smoked a joint in 3 months and i wonder if i will past this test.

 

[igrowone]

haven't had to go through this shit myself, hope i never do
but i read 1 poster's story about this, it was interesting
he just tanked up on water, lots of water, nothing more
his urine was pretty much like water, and tests like it
they tell him you've diluted your urine, next time you better not
next time he does the same thing, PO gives him the shit, accusing him of diluting
he just says, 'i drink a lot water, i lead a healthy life style'
so they bitch at him, but apparently they couldn't really stop him from drinking water
he got processed out of the program, they seemed to have gotten tired of dealing with him

 

[Mr Pink]

Bro the belt can be expensive however you can go get a dildo that looks like your jank, grab a turkey baster and some little rubber tubing. Gut the dildo so the turkey baster fits in snug and run the tube out the front of the dildo but stealthfully. Once you got a fit you will need to cut the turkey baster and the plunger to fit to size. once you have made this get it onto a belt and practice with water. You push the plunger part with your pelvis by pushing the dildo back and it pushes the plunger and makes it pee. I give you my word i have used this device with success, it doesnt leak either. On the last time i ever had to use it i got pulled over on the way back and hadnt untied the damn thing yet and all i could think of was what this was gonna look like had the copper found somn to search me for, close one sheeeew. Anyhow this was just a DIY incase you cant afford that belt. best endeavors with whatever you do

I can totally picture a scene where the forgotten fake dong is pulled out by a surprised girl to whom you'd say that's aight baby, I just forgotten' it there, before absentmindedly tossing the thing away splashing fake urine everywhere...

 

[Bluenose510]

THATS A GOOD ONE RIGHT THERE, NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT IN A MILLION YEARS!
" I LEAD A HEALTHY LIFE STYLE" GOTTA USE THAT ONE NEXT TIME