percs of 40 and over

[Guest]

PERKS OF BEING OVER 40

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be
released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"


5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's
operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension
plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a
challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no
matter who walks into the room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the national weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list.


And you notice these are all in Big Print for your
convenience


Slán go fóill... Do-nv-da-go-hv-i

 

[High n Dry]

Funny and mostly true.

 

[pieceofmyheart]

is not!!

 

[Guest]

Too funny

 

[High n Dry]

is not!!

Is too!!

 

[Guest]

wether it is or is not,,i just pass on my forwards of emails and sometimes i copy to the site for others to read,,,

 

[Guest]

#17 rings true, thats for sure. My old bones ache like heck every time the weather changes. And if it's storming like it is today....... It takes all I got just to get my joints working.

 

[Hami]

Agree

Agree

Whatever was gonna sag, did it and glad it's over. Hated waiting for

 

[Guest]

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news.

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies(not the gay ones), and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife , Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 4:20 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, pass it on to someone who kneads it.

 

[High n Dry]

It was funny, I was teasing.

Me too.

 

[Guest]

me three

 

[pieceofmyheart]

Look!!! His angel waving to all the pot heads.....he was a stoner ya know.

 

[High n Dry]

Aww..I feel bad for the little guy.
R.I.P. Dough Boy.

Now I want some biscuits with honey butter.

 

[Guest]

thats great,,,

 

[mtnjohn]

i think he was second cousin to the michelin man.

side note: i believe the michelin man has been retired...hahahahahaahaha

 

[2buds]

Good to laugh with all the drama that has been played out recently. Thanks jack!
retired-good one mtnj
I guess the jolly GREEN giant was stoned and forgot what time the funeral started :smile:

 

[Guest]

looks like UNCLE BEN never showed either,,he must of been doing one of the ho ho,s

 

[hydroclops]

LOL, now thats funny, And I just found this thread.


And the only one thats does not apply to is the glasses

 

[vonforne]

great thread everyone, it is good to smile in these days.