Anyone have any effective coping strategies? I'm at wits end dealing with this crazy.
Last edited:
-
As of today ICMag has his own Discord server. In this Discord server you can chat, talk with eachother, listen to music, share stories and pictures...and much more. Join now and let's grow together! Join ICMag Discord here! More details in this thread here: here.
Passive aggressive people: and how to deal with the crazy?
- Thread starter Scottish Research
- Start date
nkatadelgormo
Member
Make a zen table with keif instead of sand... Thank me later
Cosmic Surfer
Member
I don't know the specifics, but no one would look down on someone for having cancer the way people look down on those with mental illness (or addictions). It's a disease too and should be treated as such, and these people should not be treated like the scum of the earth for something they cannot help. Unless of course they can help it, like I said I don't know the specifics. Why didn't you go into more detail?
BlackBuds
Member
Ive noticed this advice works for many situations. Im on it.
.....
Last edited:
DeepestCover
Member
Man, that must be hard. I'm extremely passive-agressive, and this is something I have only just now learned trough therapy and coming in contact with my feelings.
Long story short, get her to read a description of passive-agressive behavior. She will recognise herself. If thats the case.
Stay strong. But don't let it consume you. She doesen't realize her actions are hurting her loved ones.
Long story short, get her to read a description of passive-agressive behavior. She will recognise herself. If thats the case.
Stay strong. But don't let it consume you. She doesen't realize her actions are hurting her loved ones.
I feel for you man ,
ive been through similar of late ,
best approach seems to be not taking anything personal ,
you cant help if you are letting your emotions etc get in the way,
i sought help from a chinese herbalist/acupuncture ,(for her)
it seemed to make a world of difference , (for both of us)
maybe something like that could work for you ???
your wife?
weren't you wondering how to swap body fluids safely with strangers recently??
was that thread about waxing your head, more about polishing your helmet???
I sure hope you're maintaining through all of this.......
She needs to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. It takes discipline and time. She shouldn't dwell on the past or future. Live in the moment. Figure out why she is the way she is. It could be something from her past that has traumatized her or you simply get on her nerves and she can't stand you. I don't know. Do some different activities or things that make her feel better about herself. Ask her what you can do for her.
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
.....
Last edited:
I could tell you, but you already know what your doing. I mean....Forget it.
it is the fact you think is not says something else
im gonna go out on a limb and paint a picture of Roberts relationship
his wife does not express her full potential with him as well as his plants do
this leaves him feeling less satisfied and because he has a part of his life where he feels like he is succeeding (his grow) and it is a model where what he does has a direct result
what he doesn't realize is that his wife isn't a plant but a much more complex creature, whose love or affections can't be grown as simply as a plant.
what he probably doesn't understand is that his garden offers HER nothing in the way of furthering the promise of love they based their relationship on but the satisfaction it brings him (and the subsequent buzz) has him feeling like what the fuck is her problem everything feels alight to me
been doing this a long time, this is very common and it doesn't have to be growing pot it can be any thing that a life partner chooses to do that empowers them and leaves them with the impression that by proxy everything in their life should be so empowered
pot makes it easier cause when you get high its easy to let go of small things and let them go long enough until it becomes something bigger
what he has to do is take the self empowerment and use it to bring the person to the table she needs to be able to bring to the table the person he needs and if this dynamic is understood they will be like a dog chasing its tail until they both decide its been enough
it is simply how healthy relationships work, they are work and compromise and that simply doesn't go away but over time with the right person it should become easier
im gonna go out on a limb and paint a picture of Roberts relationship
his wife does not express her full potential with him as well as his plants do
this leaves him feeling less satisfied and because he has a part of his life where he feels like he is succeeding (his grow) and it is a model where what he does has a direct result
what he doesn't realize is that his wife isn't a plant but a much more complex creature, whose love or affections can't be grown as simply as a plant.
what he probably doesn't understand is that his garden offers HER nothing in the way of furthering the promise of love they based their relationship on but the satisfaction it brings him (and the subsequent buzz) has him feeling like what the fuck is her problem everything feels alight to me
been doing this a long time, this is very common and it doesn't have to be growing pot it can be any thing that a life partner chooses to do that empowers them and leaves them with the impression that by proxy everything in their life should be so empowered
pot makes it easier cause when you get high its easy to let go of small things and let them go long enough until it becomes something bigger
what he has to do is take the self empowerment and use it to bring the person to the table she needs to be able to bring to the table the person he needs and if this dynamic is understood they will be like a dog chasing its tail until they both decide its been enough
it is simply how healthy relationships work, they are work and compromise and that simply doesn't go away but over time with the right person it should become easier
Well, I was in the opposite situation. I am the passive aggressive one and my poor, dear wife had to suffer through my tantrums for almost 40 years. She has passed this past October and doesn't have to suffer my temper any more. It was only a real love that made us able to cope with each other. That means, when the trouble times come, we work hard to recognize what is happening and try to change the energy as quickly as possible and when the bad situation passed, we tried our best to make up for it and let each other know that we are still in love with each other. Me, more than her, had to make apologies and let her know that I always love her more than any anger that I ever felt and that, most of the time, there was nothing wrong with her or what she was doing. She was a precious woman and I wish I could still take care of her.
when a person can see the imperfection in him/herself without reacting defensively they can adjust adapt and grow
when two people in a relationship are willing to do so they can have a relationship where the whole is greater than either individual
i think in buddhism it would be described as the difference of living in the lower realms versus living the noble path
not to preach but it is a most precise measure when it comes to our nature in regards to others and where that true potential lie
99% of people would not suffer what my wife and I have suffered to be together
it has taken a literal life time (20 years plus) to get to a point to were we could even be cognitive of this nature and even risk changing it
it was the reflection of our imperfect nature on our children and an understanding that if we dont change it in ourself they will have to find another way if they find one at all
that was necessary catalyst
i consider myself lucky i have a chance to salvage things, I wasn't able to with other people I have loved in my life.
the person I am is very much a reflection of my reverence for someone who was in my life and passed, someone whom I did the worst thing possible at the worst possible moment and after there was absolutely nothing I could do to change it
I living memory ...
when two people in a relationship are willing to do so they can have a relationship where the whole is greater than either individual
i think in buddhism it would be described as the difference of living in the lower realms versus living the noble path
not to preach but it is a most precise measure when it comes to our nature in regards to others and where that true potential lie
99% of people would not suffer what my wife and I have suffered to be together
it has taken a literal life time (20 years plus) to get to a point to were we could even be cognitive of this nature and even risk changing it
it was the reflection of our imperfect nature on our children and an understanding that if we dont change it in ourself they will have to find another way if they find one at all
that was necessary catalyst
i consider myself lucky i have a chance to salvage things, I wasn't able to with other people I have loved in my life.
the person I am is very much a reflection of my reverence for someone who was in my life and passed, someone whom I did the worst thing possible at the worst possible moment and after there was absolutely nothing I could do to change it
I living memory ...
never underestimate,,a wife or partners dissatisifaction or envy over the amount of attention one gives to there garden,,,,trying to maintain a healthy balance can be very hard work,,
how many of us ,have heard words to the effect of " if you gave me the same amount of time and sensitivity and not forgetting interest as your "girls",, then we wouldn't be having this argument",lol,,
many times my wife and I have laughed at the silliness of our arguments about the above but I am sure it will rear its head again in the future,,,,best of luck Robert,,not a pleasant situation but if you are both willing to work at it and not forgetting your love for each other then you will work it out,,,peace and regards s2
how many of us ,have heard words to the effect of " if you gave me the same amount of time and sensitivity and not forgetting interest as your "girls",, then we wouldn't be having this argument",lol,,
many times my wife and I have laughed at the silliness of our arguments about the above but I am sure it will rear its head again in the future,,,,best of luck Robert,,not a pleasant situation but if you are both willing to work at it and not forgetting your love for each other then you will work it out,,,peace and regards s2
canna woop!
Member
^^^word
Shit.
I'll take passive aggressive over plain aggressive any day.
Nothing sharpens the senses like having a 2 lb. mayonnaise jar fly an inch by your skull at 60 mph.
She went out the front door and her clothes went out the back porch.
I prefer my drama in books and on TV in my nice comfy chair.
Nowadays, if Wifey #2 occasionally goes off the rails and commences a screamfest, I look up and mildly ask "What's that, dear? Speak up."
"BLAH BLAH BLAH"
"Yes dear you're absolutely right. How careless of me. I'm glad you brought that to my attention. Forgive me please."
This is followed by a well deserved 'silent treatment'.
Just the way I like it.
Sometimes girls just HAVE to scream about something...Logic and rationality have nothing to do with it.
So let them scream.
No big deal.
I'll take passive aggressive over plain aggressive any day.
Nothing sharpens the senses like having a 2 lb. mayonnaise jar fly an inch by your skull at 60 mph.
She went out the front door and her clothes went out the back porch.
I prefer my drama in books and on TV in my nice comfy chair.
Nowadays, if Wifey #2 occasionally goes off the rails and commences a screamfest, I look up and mildly ask "What's that, dear? Speak up."
"BLAH BLAH BLAH"
"Yes dear you're absolutely right. How careless of me. I'm glad you brought that to my attention. Forgive me please."
This is followed by a well deserved 'silent treatment'.
Just the way I like it.
Sometimes girls just HAVE to scream about something...Logic and rationality have nothing to do with it.
So let them scream.
No big deal.
