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one year ago...
- Thread starter Dan42nepa
- Start date
M
mossy
Good Luck M8.
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daisy jane
I'm sorry to hear about your loss Dan. I wish you the best of luck buddy.
G
Guest
dont look for a sign one day, know that she is with you everyday in all that you do
begeesterdechol
Member
Good luck comrade!
I think it was very respectful of you to stay awake looking for a sign. You need to know she will be with you always, and I am sure she would want you to move on with life. It's going to be tough but it may be time to socialize a little and maybe see about some companionship. It doesn't have to be sexual or anything more than what will make you comfortable. Only you know what you are ready for.......
My thoughts and prayers are with you Dan, may the memory of your loved one guide you as you face these tough times.....it sounds like you have a good emotional support system there with you, but if you ever need another voice feel free to holler at a guineapig....
kind regards and best wishes from guineapig
kind regards and best wishes from guineapig 
G
Guest
I don't usually post in the heartfelt stuff but................
What everyone else said plus don't forget that getting past something like this and learning to move on makes you a stronger person. Alot of people can't deal with something like this. You survived something that can tear a person apart at the seams and that's something you can be proud of.
Sounds like you already found a high quality girl; a girl that can accept how and what you felt/feel for another women and even help you with those feelings is truely special.
When it rains it pours but there's bound to be a rainbow when it's said and done!
J.
What everyone else said plus don't forget that getting past something like this and learning to move on makes you a stronger person. Alot of people can't deal with something like this. You survived something that can tear a person apart at the seams and that's something you can be proud of.
Sounds like you already found a high quality girl; a girl that can accept how and what you felt/feel for another women and even help you with those feelings is truely special.
When it rains it pours but there's bound to be a rainbow when it's said and done!
J.
Oh i know... and the year before I lost my job after 28 years. I work in IT and there are no comparable jobs in this area. I found a crappy night shift job which i hated but stuck for benefits for my wife. After she died I either couldnt take it anymore or had some sort of minor breakdown and quit. I fnally made it thru the various anniversarys (xmas, thanksgiving, NYE, Valentines day, easter) without her after spending 25 years celebrating these events. Hopefully now things will be easier. I am living off my savings and havent worked since last 07/31. Hopefully now maybe I can concentrate on getting back on my feet.. Incidentally, this site and growing started as something theraputic for me to do. It helped alot.
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daisy jane
I'm glad you found something that helpful Dan. I wish you the best of luck, again, to getting back on your feet.
G
Guest
Obstacles to Healing
Grief is a misunderstood and neglected process in life. Because responding to losses and death is often awkward and uncomfortable for both grievers and helpers, those concerned may avoid dealing with grief. With the myth that college years are always "happy years" and the concurrent failure to recognize that death of someone close is not the only type of significant loss, many potential helpers don't even recognize that a student, employee, or friend is grieving. Additionally, in cases of death, the student in college may be living far away from others who are experiencing the same loss. All of these factors can contribute to make the experience more lonely and unhappy than it might be otherwise.
Society promotes many miscomceptions about grief that may actually hinder the recovery and growth that follow loss. For example, friends and family may make statements such as,
"You must be strong."
"You have to get on with your life."
"It's good that he didn't have to suffer."
Such cliches may help the one saying them, but are rarely helpful to the griever. Other misconceptions may be that it is not appropriate to show emotions except at the funeral or that recovery should be complete within a prescribed amount of time. Still other misconceptions would imply that the grieving person is being inapropriate when at times he or she breaks away from the grief, laughs, plays, is productive at work, etc. Friends need to avoid these and other ways of predetermining what another's grief process should be like. An individual may have both personal and cultural differences in the ways that he or she deals with grief; friends need to support the bereaved in recovering and restoring balance in his or her own way.
Grief is a misunderstood and neglected process in life. Because responding to losses and death is often awkward and uncomfortable for both grievers and helpers, those concerned may avoid dealing with grief. With the myth that college years are always "happy years" and the concurrent failure to recognize that death of someone close is not the only type of significant loss, many potential helpers don't even recognize that a student, employee, or friend is grieving. Additionally, in cases of death, the student in college may be living far away from others who are experiencing the same loss. All of these factors can contribute to make the experience more lonely and unhappy than it might be otherwise.
Society promotes many miscomceptions about grief that may actually hinder the recovery and growth that follow loss. For example, friends and family may make statements such as,
"You must be strong."
"You have to get on with your life."
"It's good that he didn't have to suffer."
Such cliches may help the one saying them, but are rarely helpful to the griever. Other misconceptions may be that it is not appropriate to show emotions except at the funeral or that recovery should be complete within a prescribed amount of time. Still other misconceptions would imply that the grieving person is being inapropriate when at times he or she breaks away from the grief, laughs, plays, is productive at work, etc. Friends need to avoid these and other ways of predetermining what another's grief process should be like. An individual may have both personal and cultural differences in the ways that he or she deals with grief; friends need to support the bereaved in recovering and restoring balance in his or her own way.
i agree... I also shyed away from medication even though I was suffering from depression in some manner.. I think medications would just mask the healing process. Growing a few plants was the best medicine for me... I dont even smoke that much. Growing, nurturing... helped alot.. I give most away to my friends...
