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oh fuck this is going on without me wtf

Space Toker

Space Toker

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don't mean I am that important I should have been sent a memo, but just a few miles away this happened last year and this one as well...
oh shit I am wondering over the extreme opportunities or hurt that could come of it if they... well if you know and if not, well that is.. just perfect.. I hate and hate hate and hate myself, but far moreso I love and hope that comes out and I can create opportunities for all.. I was overly opptomistic and thought I would see this in like 96 but in reality did not think it would come this soon, glad it did but hell what to tell these people in these circumstances and convince that I am the man for the "job"? wtf you kidding me and a favorite local restaurant in that neighboring town of mine and the good people I came to know somewhat yet always seemed to cater to a higher class and thought I was out of touch and yet they always treated me well nonetheless..
from their page:
http://www.fiveloavesbakery.com/events/

I don't know who reliable bud is maybe I should but this seems perfect and wonderful... 2 steps one way and one the other or is that vice versa.. I know I should not go it with all guns blazing but should be more aggressive than passive... oh shit this is nuts even if I sight see i will be crazy happy and would like to meet old friends from elsewhere and here there! going to be a blast! Most hope I had in a long time and came down from that unrealistic plataeu a long time ago but still pumped! I came to think I would never see this happen and still wonder if it is a trick would love to tell them of my aircraft flying overhead adventures and yes they keep that up but would love to hear their reflections on whatever, would love to connect again, oh these last several days and before have been crazy to say the least reality and dreams alike. OK so June 23 spencer Mass Usa I cant guarantee but intend to be there if not dead by then! They say bring your own bud I have old stuff be embarassed to bring it at this point but I want to make this an event we can all remember for good not bad or craziness but for good! Thanks reliable bud!
 
Space Toker

Space Toker

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AKA I would love to meet you all there and you tell me how crazy I have been all these years and and I would tell you you are right and then just go "K" and yet somehow still connect as we all should... hell if even one of you will be there I guarantee I will be too! thank you for your goodness!
 
shithawk420

shithawk420

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Am I the only one confused? What event you talking about? I would go to just to tell you your nuts if I could.lol
 
Space Toker

Space Toker

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I didn't go, I am trying to get my garden in, my soil takes forever to dry out even though rain events haven't been that common, we actually are "abnornally dry". It was supposed to rain and hasn't yet, must take advantage of this. And come to find out, they have this every 3 or 4 weeks, next one is July 21. I hope to be there then, even if I don't tend to fit in or look the role or whatever.

Thanks CG, yes it is good to live in this state now. I wish I could get in on the rec business somehow, but don't have the 200k or whatever it is I need to get my foot in the door. And it would help if I could sell sand to people in a dessert but I have no such skills. Maybe I will find a role in this.
 
Space Toker

Space Toker

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there are drier states that is true. Someone had a good point. I did have a really good day. I have been watching my "foundation" crumbling for a long time, but finally some reinforcement and satisfaction. This was my mon's birthday and 10th anniversary of her death is first week of August. We had a tumultuous relationship mostly good I hope, but plenty of bad too and sometimes wondered if I was being haunted or punished for it.

Well, I say my bro drives like a crazy nut and always talking very crazy talk about drivers around him. To say I was a nervous wreck was an understatement. We both wanted to punch the other in the head at times, or worse. As peaceful as I want to be and seldom achieve. I have stormy seas I navigate constantly for sure, I hope I never go too far, don't think so but I need more strength. Physically and mentally. I have been a wreck to say the least, but the last day and a half or 2, I felt great! Until the trip at least, calm serene spiritual and some other things I cannot explain, but a great experience for sure!

Leave the ride alone, it was crazy thought I was going to die like 30 times and fire engines and ambulances at least 3 flying everywhere, and 4 or more cops too. Constant guys swerving without using directionals, and well I guess I did go their besides my reckless brother, who makes the right point that he never got in a major accident except the one I was with him in. That time too, going to the same destination, the cemetary to visit moms grave.

Well thankfully this time no accident. we planted flowers and prayed and all that we usually do. All the private thoughts honor and respect that comes with that. Go to old college "stomping grounds area". At a restaurant in Noho, should have went to Amherst instead. At a pizza place Antonio's we frequent, Han Solo was there! I kid you not, Harrison Ford was there, look it up on Facebook my brother saw it there! I am a huge fan of Star Wars, go figure, it was so epic. I was eating at a fancier place another interesting irony! Missed him by like a half hour and a few miles!

What I have missed is seeing young fit college age people doing their thing, these college towns seem like like grazing grounds for a few cows, but mostly older people or other formerly non typical people compared to what used to be commonplace sights 15 years ago or to a lesser extent 5 years ago. Young fit people and lots of them, some being appealing women that made it a better day. Finally, after it seems like 2 years, I saw such things again and that is inspiring. Saw her in a cannabis very friendly place and elsewhere. OH crazy day to say the least, thank you mom!
 
Space Toker

Space Toker

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yeah well other than CosmicGiggles post which I can't give rep to, the rest was useless sorry to say. If you have nothing useful to say, keep it to yourself please. Anyway, I hope to go to one of these they seem to happen every 3 weeks or so.
 
Space Toker

Space Toker

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oh you mean to tell me you are all such dopes willing to take any chance at a low blow that I make so much sense? OK then thank you or otherwise. anyway I will have more to say
 
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