Newport, Oregon cops say use a corn cob

[flylowgethigh]

https://www.zerohedge.com/health/oregon-police-dont-call-911-just-because-you-ran-out-toilet-paper

You can bet the chief of the popo didn't tell his wife that.

 

[Green Squall]

No offense, but Zero Hedge isn't exactly a reliable source for anything.

 

[anoydas 666]

we know where he can ram his corn cobb.

 

[WelderDan]

I do not understand the hoarding of toilet paper. Cleaning supplies, Purell, soap I get. But TP? Seriously, if wiping your ass is your biggest priority, you have a problem. And I say that as someone that argues with the wife because I am willing to pay extra for Charmin instead of the cheap stuff.

I was in CVS last week and saw a couple people buying the limit on TP (They rang up separately so they could both get the max) and about 15 or so 12 packs of Coke. TP and Coke.

We buy the stuff on sale and were already stocked up, but I wasn't inclined to buy more. Damn, I got a tub of clean shop rags, and a drawer full of ratty t-shirts. I think I'll get by.

 

[h.h.]

Why do I need tp? Nobody’s shaking my hand.

 

[armedoldhippy]

friend lost his lawn service. after him paying them to pick up the dog poop before mowing/raking, they discovered he does not have a dog...

 

[armedoldhippy]

Why do I need tp? Nobody’s shaking my hand.

don't you pick your nose or teeth? lots of folks do, ya know...

 

[h.h.]

don't you pick your nose or teeth? lots of folks do, ya know...

Do it with class. Pretend that you’re drinking tea and hold your pinky out. Besides I have two hands.

 

[flylowgethigh]

When the VZ currency collapsed, TP was what people ran out of and needed desperately. If this WuFlu affected people like intestinal flus do, yeah TP FTW. I am going through paper towels faster than TP. But I only stocked what I use, and TP won't be on the shopping list for quite a while.

Same with dawg phood.

 

[armedoldhippy]

Do it with class. Pretend that you’re drinking tea and hold your pinky out. Besides I have two hands.

you may not vote on any more threads today' FUCK! oh well...almost time to go to work anyway.

 

[flylowgethigh]

No offense, but Zero Hedge isn't exactly a reliable source for anything.

I can't get CNN or MSNBC, so ZH will have to do.

Someone ought to speed there, so they can get a ticket and tell the cop "Good, now I can wipe my ass" when he hands the paper over.

 

[whitebox]

No offense, but Zero Hedge isn't exactly a reliable source for anything.

Really ??? ha ha ha....
yes you're right 98% bullshit and 2%funny propaganda imo.
kind of a stinky modern intertainment i guess.

 

[St. Phatty]

or a Water Pik. or a white terry cloth towel.

what is the RGB value of THAT ?!

 

[flylowgethigh]

Hose, washcloth, bucket. Hillbilly Bidet

 

[flylowgethigh]

Meanwhile, in Palm Springs neighbors are snitching on coughing neighbors. Cops/paramedics showing up. Surely they could bring a roll or two of TP with them.

https://www.zerohedge.com/health/californians-calling-cops-neighbors-if-they-hear-them-coughing

 

[WelderDan]

I wash my ass with a rag on a stick

 

[h.h.]

Meanwhile, in Palm Springs neighbors are snitching on coughing neighbors. Cops/paramedics showing up. Surely they could bring a roll or two of TP with them.

https://www.zerohedge.com/health/californians-calling-cops-neighbors-if-they-hear-them-coughing

Put a “I smoke weed” sign on your door.

 

[St. Phatty]

if you have any 2 year old bud laying around ...

after use, donate it to a legal dispensary since most of them sell sh-t anyway.

 

[Ringodoggie]

Might be a genetic holdover from the Great Depression or WWII when paper products were in very short supply and very hard to get.

Besides, who the fuck uses toilet paper any more...... Let's talk baby wipes.

"OK, hypothetical situation. You wake up in the morning and you have shit on your face. It's on your cheeks and twisted all up in your beard. What do you do? Step into the bathroom and wipe it off with some dry paper??? FUCK NO. You WASH WASH WASH your face. Lots of soap and water. Get it all out of your beard. You wouldn't just wipe it off with a dry piece of paper. Shit no. Your face and beard would smell like SHIT all day."

Is your face more important than your asshole? I think not.

So, give your asshole the consideration it deserves and please.... use baby wipes and not toilet paper.

This has been a public service announcement from the committee for comfortable assholes. Ringodoggie, chairman.









.

 

[flylowgethigh]

I thought the endoscopy doc said I had a perfect asshole. The guy who was driving, said later that it was "You are a perfect asshole".

Huh.